do i miss home because of the lifestyle it allowed for me to live or do i miss my dog that bad?

update, i’m addicted to meth.

Lol, accurate.

26/11/20

every time i look at my phone

i ask myself, “should i call you?”

Possibly the hardest part about losing you is the fact that I’m constantly convincing myself that it doesn’t bother me anymore, days and weeks pass by and I truly feel like I am over it, but then someone mentions your name and a hurricane floods memories inside my head while a tornado of love and hate at war inside my chest. I can pretend all I want that I’m over you while tears stream down my cheeks and a playlist of our songs are playing in the background.

“Has heart ache ever made you feel physically ill? Like all of a sudden, there is pain in your chest and breathing gets harder, your head gets lighter and you feel dizzy and it just doesn’t go away and it feels like that all the time”

—

“i thought this feeling was gone. i thought it was done, i thought it made so much sense to leave you. But here i am, crying because im alone, and i miss you. I fucking miss you And you? You’re off loving again, how could you forget? How could you forget all we went through. Love isn’t fair. It’s fucked up and heartbreaking.”

—

The only person I needed to talk to was you, but you needed to talk to everyone but me.

—a girl sick of being the second choice

And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your dog. You stop socializing.

You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you can’t do it for much longer.

I want to talk to people but I don't want people to worry