lady-laureline
Stardust Maintenance
I need an outlet so bad it's not even funny. #ramblepost for (neuro) spicy takes
174 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
kittydenied
KITTY DENIED
afffil
мир души
ericshoney
Kpop's princess
redeemed-from-the-earth
We are the Undead. We are the Redeemed.
theirishguy1993
Tap Once To Enter
Text
Branches
Shooting date: Early April 2024
©Abeja Mariposa
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Plenty of highly intelligent people end up getting sucked in to cults because they just wanted people to hang out with. There are antivaxxer nurses. Your ability to act on empirical reason breaks down fast if your social and emotional needs aren't being met.
45K notes
·
View notes
Text
this photo from the "Fleeted Happenings" series by Andrew Lyman is soooooo VAL
593 notes
·
View notes
Text
Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.
122K notes
·
View notes
Text
On today's episode: how trauma1 fuels cognitive dissonance, specifically when healing from withdrawal.
×
The emergency tactics of the human brain are effective methods of self-preservation as well as spectacular exercises in self-sabotage.
Take stress: the ability to enter 'fight or flight' at the blink of an eye is an outdated function, working as intended. Modern threats to our survival are much more tangential than your friendly neighbourhood sabertooth tiger, but the nervous system still responds to due rent as it would to a predator.
Social withdrawal as a trauma response has aged a bit better - creating a buffer between us and the people that hurt us still serves to give us time to lick our wounds without the risk of reopening them - but there are significant downsides to keeping your distance for longer periods of time (including but not limited to: depression, heart problems, existential torment2, a shortened lifespan).
In pervasive situations, the detrimental effects of isolation have to be weighed against whatever drove us there in the first place. Both can be incredibly harmful to our sense of community and sense of self, and if we are repeatedly cycling back and forth between opening up and drawing back, the two sides might feed into each other to create a merciless self-fulfilling prophecy.
Each failed attempt to reintegrate - every time you were a little too bold or let your guard down a little too soon - justifies and perpetuates the (real or imagined) inadequacy that others us from the rest of the group. Trauma knows better, why didn't you listen to it? Why would this time be any different?
×
If you're wondering if there's a name for this, the answer is yes. Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (or RSD) is characteristic of neurotypes that commonly experience social rejection at a young age, fine-tuning our perception of exactly that to a painfully counterproductive degree.
In previous posts, I've talked about how growing up undiagnosed is permeated by a constant feeling of being in the wrong - RSD kindly provides a "better safe than sorry" approach to the fallout of whatever it is we've said or done this time.3
It should come as no surprise that developing self-compassion (arguably our greatest asset in caring for our mental health) is a rather grueling task for this subgroup of society. After all, compassion isn't that readily offered to us - especially the kind that comes from a place of understanding.
×
Coming out of isolation signals the end of a metamorphosis that, if we've managed to unlearn a bit of fearful perfectionism, may involve having a few new boundaries in place, perhaps a pinky promise with yourself to do whatever it takes to show up authentically in some way.
This is where the cognitive dissonance comes in, because now that you're going out and talking to people again, there is a raging battle going on in your head. Inside of you there are four wolves:
- one that's determined to find some genuine connection and is ready to meet people halfway;
- one that would rather pretend to be a papillon than risk ever getting hurt again;
- one that is convinced you are entirely undeserving of anyone's time and should go rot in a hole;
- and one that's angry at having to isolate, angry at having to do the work, and very fucking angry at having to wheedle your way back into people's lives for the sake of your stupid mental health.
Overthinking minute interactions is difficult to avoid when you've done nothing but think for the foreseeable past, and now you've got all these built-up feelings grappling with each other while you're trying to remember how socialising works.
Also, people are generally more well-meaning than they are frank, and if you're not tuned into the non-verbal gestures station you are at quite the disadvantage in determining what sort of impression of you people are left with, something that scares me more than I'd like to admit.
Still, what can a girl do but try?
Whether we've given up on it or not, connection is our north star in this whole mess or a journey. We cannot ignore the pull to be seen (even those of us who hate being perceived) for who we are.
×××
1 Terminology side note: when I say "trauma", I'm using the clinical definition.
2 Great read. Turns out that isolating really puts you in touch with your own mortality (and I thought I was just being extra).
3 Some say it's a form of CPTSD.
#ramblepost#trauma and cognitive dissonance#existential torment#social withdrawal#brain tactics#quick mafs#neurodivergent#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rsd#it sounds nicer in polish
1 note
·
View note
Text
sharing some gofundmes of Palestinians that haven't reached their goals yet
Help Rani Escape Gaza
Help majd's family evacuate from death in Gaza
Help me to evacuate my family from Gaza
Support the Future of AbdalRahman from Gaza
Help Nael to survive and complete his studies.
Help Baraa and her injured family out of Gaza
Help Sana’a and her family evacuate from Gaza
Help Sara get treatment leave Gaza with her family
Reda in Gaza to survive the war
Help me and my brothers flee Gaza
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
recently someone saw my dissected frog tattoo and said “hey ur frog tattoo is really cool but i think it’s open.” i haven’t been able to stop thinking about this for weeks. what did she mean by that. does she think i walked into a tattoo shop like hello can i get one normal frog tattoo. and 2 and a half hours later the tattoo artists goes FUCK. it happened again. it’s fucking open. goddamnit
58K notes
·
View notes
Text
I got blood inside my phone charging port and now it only works 50% of the time
29K notes
·
View notes
Text
Undercover: 'The Illusion of Haze' SS2002
scans
455 notes
·
View notes
Text
let's play a game it's called how long can i pretend i don't have basic needs and human emotions
24K notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
#excellent breakdown of autism in media#was not expecting it to go this hard#tbf it's Rowan Ellis#we stan#it's long i know but treat like a podcast#you should definitely give it a listen#autistic representation#autism in media#autism in the mind of mr benadryl cumquat
0 notes
Text
my prey animal skills are being wasted in a human life. im so good at staring blankly and getting really scared of noises and motions and sprinting towards safe locations
45K notes
·
View notes
Photo
Lucien Rudaux, A Beach Photographed At Low Tide By The Light Of The Night Sky, 1900
( Larousse, 1949)
more
803 notes
·
View notes