Hey sorry we brought your boyfriend to Cvstodia. Yeah the weight of his guilt and the passion of the miracle has transformed him beyond recognition. He eagerly ate away at his humanity. He’s as beautiful as he is wretched. Super sorry.

“Lend it to us and wipe away our tears.”

how do you reconcile being religious and practicing religion with being queer? it’s something i’ve struggled with for a long time and i’m interested in hearing your perspective

religion is personal and no flesh and blood on earth can keep you from god, whatever or whoever god is to you. that's the beauty of spirituality; it exists both inside you and all around you. how is another human being going to police that? how could they even try to?

thank you to @all-or-nothing-baby for tagging me :3

i’m trying to get back into the swing and these are fun so thank you <3

last song - man of war / radiohead (i have been very very into radiohead this year. i love them. they will for sure be appearing on my wrapped stats come that time)

watching - currently on my third (or fourth?) rewatch of succession with my bf (who is watching it for the first time) which has been fun. otherwise i haven’t been watching much tv. i’ve been consuming a lot of youtube, the errant movie, and playing video games >.<

reading - today i just started a book called white noise by don delillo. i am only about 60 pages in but i’m really liking it so far. yesterday i read tender is the flesh and found it to be a little lackluster but not unenjoyable for what it was. i’ve been trying to read more and i’m currently at 13 books for the year! already ahead of my number for last year (follow/friend me on goodreads or storygraph!)

new obsession - i’ve been really into colorful supplies. which sounds silly when i type it out but i really don’t have much in my life to write home about currently. i’ve been using glitter gel pens in my planner and making bright to-do lists on a special (magnetized) notepad and purchasing loudly colored sticky tabs to annotate my books and make rainbow reminders for myself all over the place. i’m back in college finishing up my degree so it has helped me keep my head on straight. it’s just nice and it makes me feel like i have a grasp on things.

tagging anyone who’d like to tell a little about themself :D

All I see is a boy meddling with things he doesn’t understand.

Vi and Caitlyn ❤️‍🩹

just wanted to quickly say if anyone has left a comment on one of my works that has gone unanswered i am not ignoring you!!! i have seen them and been immeasurably warmed by the overwhelming support of the things i have written for a truly damning array of fandoms haha. there is nothing i love more than getting a comment, be it a series of emojis or a carefully crafted, multi-paragraph analysis. and i will get around to answering them! i am just in that excruciating stage where i’m like “i’ll reply to them all tomorrow for sure!!!” and then weeks have passed and the number just keeps growing and i get scared. yeah. but i see you and i love you (if y’all even check here for any updates, which i have been severely lacking in as well LOL). so yeah anyway i just wanted to say i see them!! and i love them!! and i love all of the lovely people who leave them behind for me to read!! so it is not lost on me and my gratitude has not dissolved even though i’ve stepped away. but also it’s 11pm and i’m sleepy and feeling strangely emotional and sentimental so i am word vomiting. some things never change

bestie idk if you're back, but i loved your fics, i was wondering if you watched the crazy mini series Dead ringers, shfhsdfh it's just as toxic as hannibal, i'd die if you wrote for it

i have never seen/heard of dead ringers, i’ll have to check it out! i’ve been on a bit of an indefinite break lately as i just sort of coast through life. inspiration and motivation have been in short supply, unfortunately. but if i ever get my writing groove back i will peek at dead ringers and definitely hold you in my heart LOL :3

your writing has brought me tears and joy and I thought someone should tell you, even if you never finish the series that got me hooked to your writing, I hope you never stop writing. Ever.

i’m sorry to just now be getting to this, but thank you so much for your kindness. it means a lot to me when anyone tells me they’ve liked something i’ve written, so thank you for taking the time even though i’m several months late haha <3

I <3 dog motifs. I <3 dog symbolism. I <3 dog imagery. I <3 devotion to the point of pain. I <3 unconditional love even in the face of violence.

greg gay dad chekovs gun

bites down on my false tooth that contains a pill that makes me grow a real tooth

my favorite song is "Intro" and my favorite album is "Greatest Hits" and my favorite tv episode is "Pilot" and every midnight a deliicate raven flies in through the window and puts me to bed so I can have my scarydream

finally (hopefully) back from my indefinite hiatus. i am hoping to get caught up on replying to comments and messages and the whole shebang. i think i just needed a minute to turn back into a human so (hopefully, again) i am now back in the land of the living and would very much like to maybe write and start posting again and keep up with you guys <3 i’m sorry to everyone who got left hanging, you should be hearing from me soon!!!

Top ten haters of all time

damn girl you too pretty to be shopping in the booktok section of barnes and noble

Goose Shit by Evil Mary Oliver Who Lives in Your Head

You do have to be good. In fact, you have to be perfect. Having even one perturbation will disqualify you from going to the grocery store. You are obligated to walk on your knees  for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting, backwards, in underwear made of red-hot puff adders. You can't let that soft, fallible animal of your body love what it loves.   Are you kidding? Tell me about despair, yours, and keep telling me, and don't stop, or you'll completely explode and go to jail, and then hell. Meanwhile the world goes on without you. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of hailstones are beating down on your head, pouring into the buildings and deep gutters, the corpse-laden mountains and the rivers-- did you read that article about the one that turned bright yellow from pollution? Meanwhile the wild geese, hissing and shitting everywhere will not leave your yard. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, you can always get lonelier! And I can help. I call to you like the wild geese, harsh and intimidating, over and over announcing your place-- oop, sorry, never mind, someone else took it.