katzilla108
Kat
Kat | any pronouns | ENG/ESP | 89/70
83 posts
Last active 2 hours ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
offtopicglitter
Off Topic Glitter
bestgirlmisty
sarah
tatihc
taty.
supersebas2017-blog
Sin título
dufort
of body small, of power regal;
Text
Practicing Vivinos's style, it came out surprisingly decent so I'm sharing it here too!
289 notes
·
View notes
Text
WORST DAY OF MY LIFE
890 notes
·
View notes
Text
Alien Stage R6 Analysis
VERY LONG compilation of my interpretations, impressions and unanswered questions about Round 6 of Alien Stage. I just wanted to write this to put all my thoughts in one place so I can finally rest (in pieces). TW for mentions of suic*de/suic*dal ideation.
The most debated is no doubt the kiss/choking scene and Ivan’s motivation for doing so in the first place.
I think from the very beginning, even before R3, Ivan was planning to go out with a bang. That’s the immediate impression I got from the comic where he mocks/criticizes Sua for planning to “selfishly” die for Mizi and feel good being the “heroine” rather than having to deal with the trauma of being the one left behind.
(I'm too lazy to edit the whole translation as of now, but might do so when I have more time.)
Ivan tells her how he’s “relieved that he’s not the only who’s that twisted” = He’s comparing himself to Sua. He thinks they’re both ‘twisted’ for planning to do the same thing, but from Ivan’s perspective, he at least isn’t fooling himself into thinking his motives are altruistic. He tasted the feeling of being ‘abandoned’, and he knows he doesn’t want to experience it twice.
He also probably thought that his death wouldn’t be as impactful on Till as Sua’s death on Mizi, and therefore his own selfishness is more justified in his mind. This most likely plays a role in how cold and biting his words are towards Sua –he’s jealous of that difference between them.
I hadn’t noticed this detail the first time I watched the video: Not only did Till look absolutely miserable and defeated from the get go, but he completely gave up and stopped singing at some point. If you look at the video, we can hear the audio that was supposed to be sung, but Till is quiet and still, and THIS is the moment Ivan chooses to act.
Although they do not show the votes at that particular moment, stopping mid song would have definitely taken a hit to Till’s score as it’s basically forfeiting –a huge contrast to his previous match where he didn’t even let his opponent utter a single line.
In response, Ivan doesn’t just walk towards him but throws his microphone to the ground, explicitly forfeiting as well in order to then pull a drastic move like it was foreshadowed in his interview.
The kiss itself imo was the less calculated/arguably unplanned part. He could have just choked Till from the start and it would have gotten him the same if not better results (since it was the act of violence against another contestant that ultimately lowered his score and got the counter to stop).
That kiss was authentic and for himself entirely, both as a last desperate attempt at conveying his feelings and a selfish way of leaving a strong impression on Till that he wouldn’t be able to forget (a hypocritical move going back to how he criticized Sua). In that sense, I don’t think Ivan was seriously trying to take Till down with him –although that’s up to interpretation. As I see it, that would contradict his actions up until that point.
Till was VERY CLEARLY suic*dal (once again, he gave up singing), and after the initial shock of Ivan squeezing his neck, this fiery, rebellious man who is KNOWN to fight tooth and nail, simply closed his eyes and relaxed his body, waiting for Ivan to end him without fighting at all.
The thing is, no matter how suic*dal one may be, the fighting response when being actually suffocated is automatic and completely involuntary. People mention there not being marks on Till’s neck but I think the most telling sign is him not going red, not squirming, not struggling or holding onto Ivan’s wrists (again, expected involuntary responses), his eyes not watering or having blurry vision while we see Ivan from his POV, not opening his mouth even a little to gasp for air and not coughing or gasping either when he was finally released.
Ivan definitely had him in a strong grip, might have even made him a bit lightheaded, but the reason why Till could look so relaxed in the first place is because he had given up and was waiting for Ivan to go ahead. If his closed eyes and limp posture were due to the choking itself, he would have fallen or stumbled when being let go, but we see that his eyes open as soon as he feels Ivan’s hands slipping away and he looks shocked instead.
So then what was Ivan’s motivation, if not to kill him? Yes, there’s the already discussed plan to get himself disqualified. But Ivan glances at the screen only a few seconds after he starts the choking, confirming that the voting had in fact stopped with Till having the higher score. He then goes for one last ‘goodbye’ kiss before continuing to choke him, holding his grip even as he starts getting shot.
We see a closeup of him, his eyes and hands trembling, looking more frustrated/emotional than in Till’s first POV where he looks rather stoic. It makes me think that the reason he refused to let go was simply because he wanted Till to look at him.
They strongly imply throughout the whole video that being annoying or mean or violent was the only way Ivan learnt how to make Till focus his full attention on him, but now even as he’s threatening his life, even as he himself is dying, even after that kiss, Till wouldn’t look.
It took him getting fatally wounded and realizing there was no turning back to reach a state of acceptance. His bittersweet expression here reminds me A LOT of his smile after Till runs back during the meteor scene, although this one seems a lot more tender. He seems to accept the fact that Till will never love him back, but Ivan cannot stop loving him anyways and he at least got to put his feelings out there.
(The parallels here are driving me insane. The way there is light in his eyes in both instances as he looks at Till even while 'losing him' in a way. The struggle between wanting to posses him yet realizing his free spirit/strong will is part of what he loves about him. That last genuine gaze from a character who spent his whole life putting on a mask. Yes I am very normal about this.)
Until then, Ivan’s more tender/vulnerable side is only shown while Till is unconscious or looking away.
(That soft, loving nuzzle to Till's face has me in SHAMBLES.)
But ironically, it’s only when he releases him and shows him this vulnerability without a mask that Till really looks at him for the first time. I’d go as far as to say that it was this moment, and not the kiss, that finally made Till understand Ivan’s feelings. And in turn Ivan gets that little shot of euphoria as he falls to the ground.
Going back to the survivor’s guilt… I can only imagine it’ll go completely downhill for Till from now on. Not only does he already think Mizi might be dead and is angry at himself that he couldn’t save her (as seen in the shot where he punches his own picture), but now he has most likely realized that Ivan intentionally fumbled their match for his sake –which would lead to the realization that he was the reason why Ivan chose to run back to Anakt Garden after him in the first place, and that choice ultimately lead to his death.
Even though we see them fighting a lot as children through the videos and comics, it’s also implied that they were always together and they shared some quiet moments –the “Mizi didn’t play with you, I played with you” art, all that art of the main 4 playing together, those bright smiles as they ran away together during the meteor shower scene and Till looking so guilty when he let go of his hand.
There are a few cute doodles of them for those who are on Patreon, and some more lore in the Anakt Garden kit –so they were at the very least friends in their own way (as best as 2 very traumatized and abused children could), constantly fighting and making up. Which God… it shows that despite appearances Till must have actually had the patience of a saint when they were little lmao.
But what I’m trying to say is that despite what Ivan may have thought, his death will most definitely have an impact on Till and the narrative going forward, and I’m excited to find out how that reflects in the final round (if the resistance doesn’t manage to get back up in time to disrupt it).
Despite how much I adored (and SUFFERED WITH) this round, I still have MANY questions that were left unanswered, both about Ivan and Till, and the lore in general, and I wonder if there’ll be time to answer them all, as I can imagine the next MV will be focused on Luka’s perspective, the only one we haven’t been presented with.
One of the most pressing questions being: What’s the relationship between Ivan and that alien dog? Did he tame it? It is implied that it was Ivan who somehow led Till and Mizi to it in the first place in that one scene, and if so I wonder what his motivation was? Normally jealousy would be the first thing to come to mind but Ivan wasn’t interested in Till until AFTER he saw him stand up to the beast to protect Mizi, so it couldn’t have been that.
This is something that was also teased on Patreon and I was looking forward to the explanation on the MV, but it never came, and now Ivan is dead, so the next video will most likely not be too concerned with his backstory any longer. (Which, also, I was really curious about his life in the slums before being captured, auctioned and brought to Anakt, as that would have played a huge role in his twisted personality/dark tendencies –once again teased on Patreon very briefly, but not explained beyond that frame of him looking famished.)
The second is, how is Ivan able to open Till’s collar/muzzle so easily? This is a question I’ve been having since R3, but chalked it up to Ivan being sneaky and figuring out some kind of code to the cell door and that somehow automatically deactivating the locks on the restraints… or something. But with how many times he does it in R6 with just a touch it’s very clear that that isn’t the case and also imo they’re trying to point this out as a significant detail.
It may turn out that I’m just looking too much into it, but I find it really curious and interesting. Not only is he the only child without a collar (Mizi and Sua still had them despite being just as well behaved as him), but he seems to be the only one able to take them off –or at least Till’s. I’m pretty sure the children wouldn’t normally be able to remove them by themselves as it seems to be a control mechanism. So how can Ivan? This might explain a lot about how they were able to escape, and also add a layer of tragedy knowing that Ivan could have chosen to escape by himself at any point, but refused to leave Till behind.
Last but not least there’s all the human experimentation Till was subjected to, which was the main topic of the teaser and we see the same images show up in the very beginning of the MV. They help emphasize Till’s suffering and distressed state of mind, but then they’re never expanded on or mentioned at all for the rest of the video. That’s a huge piece of lore that I also hope isn’t forgotten.
I mean, I really doubt it will. So far VIVINOS & co. have been incredible with their ability to hold back information and release it at the moment where it’s the most impactful, which is refreshing to see. So I trust we’ll get some answers eventually.
Really curious to know why they would experiment on an ALNST contestant in the first place, especially one that is undoubtedly talented and described as a musical genius (aka. has good odds of doing well on stage and earning the segyein revenue). A very plausible theory might just be that he was just getting constantly drugged to make him less of a threat/more submissive –like we see on the karaoke room scene. But it might as well be something bigger.
As for my expectations for the next round… I’m still just trying to process this one, as you can see by the sheer amount of text. There are many things left to address, and the Hyuna/Luka confrontation has been strongly teased. I wonder also, if the round goes on without interruption, what would Luka’s strategy against Till be? Would he go for provocation again, trying to imitate Mizi/hint to his recent trauma with Ivan? It probably won’t be that simple.
I mean, VIVINOS has been known for subverting our expectations with each round:
The ominous/callous framing that was given to Ivan by the end of Black Sorrow and the art that followed, making us suspicious of his intentions, only to have him die for love. The lifeless/doll-like framing given to Luka, vulnerable and cornered by flashing lights, only to have him be the cruelest/most calculating one (that we know so far). The rebellious, rowdy, willing to do anything to survive framing given to Till, only to have his fighting spirit completely break and willingly waiting to die by Ivan’s hands. The naive, complacent and passive image given to Mizi, only to have her snap, beat the shit out of Luka and join the rebellion –and with how things are going (and her being the protagonist) I wouldn’t be surprised if she, and not Hyuna (the one who was framed as the most strong and reliable, giving us a false sense of security going into R6), is who will have to try and rescue Till (and Luka???).
There are still a ton of things that keep me awake at night about R6 –my favorite character dying aside. I could talk about it forever, but I’ll leave it here.
Feel free to share your theories, delusions, interpretations or any detail I might have missed with me. God knows we need group therapy after this as the cute chibi keychains can only heal us so far. Thanks for reading my rambles if you made it this far. :’)
440 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi I'm still digesting round 6 because it was genuinely upsetting, what the fuck 😭 I would like to rant but eehrhj it's still too recent. I feel so chronically online for feeling so bad but my god. My fucking god. It was so stupidly tragic I literally got a bellyache watching it live, then I rewatched it a few hours later to pay more attention to details and it just got worse.
I theorized this would happen, but I remember thinking "noooo hahaahh it would be too predictable if Ivan killed himself for Till's sake" bro ☹️☹️☹️☹️ Vivinos ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ it happened in the worst way possible, Ivan did confess because why else would your friend make out with you on stage? But it was so rushed and he choked Till to distract him from his plan and Till wasn't even paying attention to him until he was physically forced to. Man. I know that Ivan's character revolves around sorrow but what the helllllll it was too tragic. To think that Ivan was so excited for the event of his own death, for Till to finally see him, and Till just wasn't there at all. He realized too late and even then Ivan smiled, because knowing that Till would keep on living without him was enough for him to go in peace. I'm feeling sick I'm sorry my brain is so messy rn and I've been ranting to some friends for a while now because there are lots of (very upsetting) details but god, I can't believe it's real. I'll probably ramble some more when my mind is clearer. Just, a big hug for all alien stage fans 🫶🫶🫶
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
05/04/2024 the day yaoi died
#alnst#alien stage#ivantill#i dont even have the words to convey my feelings#im not well#ivan ill never forget you#vivinos ill never FORGIVE you#😭
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dissecting the post-Sunday conversation between Ratio and Aventurine
This conversation is not, as many are interpreting, proof of Dr. Ratio's loyalty.
It couldn't be: they are still in the dreamscape, where the Family's eyes and ears are everywhere. No, this is a post-mission debrief, heavily encoded and disguised as a quarrel.
Dr. Ratio: You look pale. Or, is that also part of your act?
Aventurine: Didn't think you'd have the nerve to show yourself.
Dr. Ratio: I thought this was exactly what you wanted. After all, I faithfully fulfilled my duties as you instructed.
Dr. Ratio: Just tell me if you can't hold on any longer.
Aventurine: So, the "genius" of the Council of Mundanites wants to be my undertaker now? My… what an honor.
First part of the convo. Aventurine is playing his part perfectly. He’s acting angry and hurt: Ratio you rotten betrayer.
Interestingly, Ratio is slipping. Are you ok? Tell me if you can’t hold on. It almost sounds like he's a bit unsure about what happened. "I thought this was what you wanted", like he's asking for reassurance in some form.
Aventurine has to work hard to drag Ratio back on-script. "Have you forgotten, Doctor? You betrayed me." It's a hint and a reminder: stick with the plan, Doctor!
Dr. Ratio: Yes, and I'm pretty sure the people at the Strategic Investment Department would love to be notified of your death in due time, but let's not forget you won't be seeing them, because I'm the manager of this task.
Aventurine: Great, then tell your people that Aventurine is ready to go in seventeen system hours.
Ratio asks for instructions (disguised as a taunt), and Aventurine provides them. I'm not entirely sure what instructions were given. It seems to be What should I tell the IPC? / Here's what you tell them.
Aventurine: My conversation with Sunday convinced me that there's a traitor in The Family, and that they hold the secrets of Penacony… So, I took the opportunity to set everything in motion.
Aventurine: I even managed to recover the gift money. Things haven't gone this smoothly since I walked through the doors of The Reverie… Now, I'm only one step away from victory. Let's just wait and see.
Confirms that everything is on track. I believe the line about the gift money is actually him confirming that he has the aventurine cornerstone.
Dr. Ratio: Sounds like a very elaborate way of saying that you failed.
Aventurine: That's all I can say. Have you forgotten, Doctor? You betrayed me.
This sounds like a bit of a warning from Aventurine. Remember we can't say too much here.
Dr. Ratio: You've got a lot of nerve — how exactly do you plan on completing your task while you're hands are tied by The Harmony?
[...]
Dr. Ratio: That's true, but what's your plan? Did you conceal an Orbital Support beacon in that gift money bag?
This is interesting. Ratio doesn't know the full plan! I imagine he's tremendously on edge. He's fishing for info, again disguised as taunts, specifically info about how Aventurine is going to get himself out—but of course, Aventurine can't say it out loud, not in the dreamscape.
Ratio is at the breaking point.
Dr. Ratio: Fine. Here, take this. Open it when you're on your last legs. You'll thank me.
YES this is what I was waiting for, the moment when his whole voice changes! His usual tone is very much like giving-a-speech. He pronounces each word and syllable with precision, and clearly enunciating all the ending consonants.
Not here though. It's all grumbles. I think this might be the first time we're seeing cracks, and the personal Dr. Ratio is showing through instead of the public-speaking one.
Aventurine: You catch on pretty fast, Doctor.
He caught on that he was supposed to play along and not say anything that outright gives the plan away. (In my opinion he was pushing it a bit.)
I wonder if that's why he pulls the sudden disappearing act. He's slipping up, and/or bad at saying good-bye. Can't trust himself to get another word out. 🥺
431 notes
·
View notes
Text
shots from the ROUND 6 teaser
391 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hii! I promise I am drawing a lot, I’m just too lazy to post everything and I want to organize my posts better ☝️ Kaveh centric one for you guys because he’s the babygirliest babygirl. First one is a render practice, the rest are just sketches
#my art#genshin impact#kaveh my beloved#genshin kaveh#genshin impact kaveh#kaveh#kaveh fanart#genshin fanart
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
hikaru for the art class assignment 🔥
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pinned blog 📌📌
Hello!! I'll include some relevant info here
I'm Katzilla (call me Kat for short), I'm Spanish, I go by any pronouns and post art occasionally
You can find all my art in my profile under this tag: #my art
You can also find me in Twitter and Instagram with the same username as in here
A little disclaimer: I don't draw regularly, I get random surges of inspiration so I prefer to wait until I have lots of drawings and then pile them together in a post. Most of them will be sketches/unfinished stuff, I rarely finish art if it's personal
As for my interests, I've fallen into the Genshin hell again so... Haha... I'm also into HSR, League of Legends and Alien Stage but I tend to jump from one interest to another. Genshin manages to keep me interested though so if you follow me for it don't worry, I won't stop making fanart anytime soon
If you're looking for a specific piece/fandom just type the tag or ask me! And please feel free to interact, I am super awkward but I would love to meet new people here heñheehhh
1 note
·
View note
Text
HI!!!
I've been drawing a lot lately so obligatory ragbros post 🦚🦚 Mostly Diluc and a pair of Kaeyas
Scroll down for my yapping ↓↓
I'll yap more here so that the blog looks good
Playing around with brushes is super fun, I'm also trying to force myself to think while I draw instead of doodling absentmindedly. Nothing wrong with that, keep enjoying it!! I just feel like my art has been stuck in certain aspects for some time now, such as anatomy, facial structures and the way I draw hair, so I'm slowly stepping out of my comfort zone. Diluc is included there, he's such a comfortable character to draw for me and that just makes him perfect for practicing without getting overwhelmed x.x Kaeya on the other hand... I love him but I really don't like how I draw him atm. I'll keep figuring him out so expect more ragbros or Genshin doodles 👍 Also I usually don't write this much, I was just feeling talkative I guess but Tumblr seems cool to post random thoughts, maybe I'll keep doing it 🙊
#my art#genshin impact#diluc ragnvindr#genshin diluc#diluc#genshin fanart#kaeya alberich#genshin kaeya#genshin impact kaeya#genshin impact diluc
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
So much food holy fuck 😭😭🫶🫶
IvanTillin 💫
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been thinking about Neuvi a lot lately,, he’s so mother coded and drawing him is very fun 😚 I’m still discovering how his hair works so expect more doodles hehe
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
more dungeon meshi draws. the good, the bad, the ugly, and the alien
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
4th and final part! my hikaru ga shinda natsu fanart
the manga is sooo good I hope it'll get more recognition!
also I tried to animate (?) something for the first time!!
#hgsn#I'M TEARING ALL MY HAIR OFF STRAND BY STRAND#they are all amazing#the song is so well chosen 😭😭#their eyes are driving me insane
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
wip
373 notes
·
View notes