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katriniac · 3 hours
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Hi! Can I have a request please in which MC decides to have le Warlords try the "Period Cramp Simulator"? Just imagine them boasting that they'll be fine, only for them to kneel over in pain. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Again, Anon, I am sorry for taking so long. Hopefully my schedule should clear up soon…? But here is your request!
Oh, this is a fun request. But it involved some serious thinks… these warlords are pretty stoic. In my memory they’ve been shot (arrows and bullets) beaten up, fallen (or jumped) off cliffs, stabbed in battle, stabbed daily by Kenshin and defied a terminal illness without complaint….
So, really, are they going to be defeated by a period simulator? Are they? Let's see....
Upon hearing of such a device there is a great argument over who would be able to last the longest. And so a contest is proposed….
Contest Rules:
One: Mai is not allowed to watch as all agree that none of them will admit to pain in her presence. (She hides in the ceiling and watches anyway).
Two: Yelling, yelping, screaming are grounds for elimation.
Three: Sasuke runs the experiment and controls the simulator. He is the judge as to whether or not a warlord has been eliminated. Why Sasuke? First, because they all trust him enough to run the device equally and not cheating for your lord, Hideyoshi and Kanetsugu. Second, because he is a sensitive new age guy and freely admits that period cramps hurt (he secretly tested the stimulator on himself when he was alone and tapped out at level eight).
Let the games begin! Sasuke places the simulator patches on everyone, and from a master switch, turns the device on so that everyone hits level one simultaneously.
Level One:
All warlords are fine. Ranmaru earns the wrath of the room by noting that it “kind of tickles.”
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Two:
Such serious faces. Everyone is concentrating.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Three:
There are a few deep breaths happening now, but nothing that could be defined as yelling, yelping, or screaming.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Four:
Sasuke walks around the room for a long, slow time, looking at everyone’s faces, until Kenshin tells him to get on with things and start making it hurt. When is the pain going to start? Kanetsugu chimes in, telling Sasuke to move things along, so that Kenshin can have his pain. There are quiet whispers of, ‘yes, hurry, let’s move it along,” and a lot of internal, “let’s get this over with now, kthxbye” thoughts.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Five:
Kicho accuses Nobunaga of wincing. Motonari is quick to agree that Nobunaga winced. Hideyoshi defends Nobunaga, says that he would never wince, it was just a natural blink. After a short discussion, it is decided that Nobunaga did not wince, and further accusations of wincing, or yelling, or thereof will be cause for forfeit.
Nobunaga silently admits to himself that he quite possibly winced, but now that he knows what to expect, he is prepared for the next wave of … oh shit.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Six:
Ranmaru, Keiji and Yoshimoto incur a forfeit by accusing each other of wincing. They escape the room. The fourteen remaining warlords quickly look around, but no other accusations are made.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Seven:
There is a lot of visible sweat, careful breathing, and gritted teeth happening. Internally, there is a lot of very creative swearing, using words in combination rarely spoken out loud.
Kennyo puts himself into a meditative state. Masamune wonders if that would be considered cheating, but Kennyo points out that he’s not preventing anyone else from meditating, he’s just using the skills he has.  No one is willing to discuss the matter further, and Shingen notes that Kennyo is correct, and can they please keep going.
Privately, Shingen vows to give every one of his female spies three days off a month, and a pay raise.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Eight:
Sasuke looks at every face and pauses at Ieyasu’s for a long time. Ieyasu says that while he is not bothered by the cramp simulator, Sasuke is making him very uncomfortable. Sasuke replies that he’s impressed by Ieyasu’s stoicism and by the way when this is over, can he have Ieyasu’s autograph. Ieyasu rips the simulator off and stomps out, deciding that while he can endure the pain, he can’t deal with Sasuke.
Ieyasu goes home and hugs his emotional support sourdough starter for the rest of the day.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Nine:
Kanetsugu looks over at Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi…. “Are you two holding hands?!” Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi look down at their joined hands and instantly let go of each other. “No!” they both yelp.
Some time is lost while it is debated whether or not that counts as period simulator yelping, and after everyone votes (voting signified by slow careful hand raises), they are both allowed to continue in the competition.
Yukimura curls himself into a silent, fetal ball – but he does not yelp or yell, so Sasuke is inclined to let him continue.
Sasuke bumps the intensity to Level Ten:
The warlords sit in silent agony.
Time ticks onward.
Slowly.
No one taps out.
Everyone stares at each other’s faces.
“Perhaps we can consider this a tie,” Shingen suggests.
There is immediate universal assent from the rest of the room, and Sasuke agrees. “Take off your simulators.”
Twelve warlords quickly – but nonchalantly – remove their devices. Then Masamune notices… “Mitsunari, lad, you can take the device off now.”  Hideyoshi rushes over to his vassal, worried that perhaps the young man has passed out.
Mitsunari looks up from the book he has been reading. “I’m sorry, did you say something? He gazes around the room. “Oh, are we starting the contest now? Go ahead, Master Sasuke, I’m ready.”
Mitsunari declared the winner.
There will be a celebratory banquet for him…. next week… when everyone else has recovered.
@lorei-writes
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katriniac · 23 hours
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[ This post is Trey Clover coded ]
toothbrush. so nice against mine teeth and gums
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katriniac · 1 day
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With a name like that, I fully expect to see NSFW art of noodles.
Sexy ramen. Risqué linguine. Debauched soba.
A whole series of 18+ noodles.
Maybe even a lewd Styrofoam pool noodle?
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I've been thinking about my blog and how I'm strictly 18+ because while most of my stuff is generally okay, I still post NSFW art from time to time.
Since I've increased the NSFW/T art lately, I am considering making a separate blog specifically for it. That would allow me to have a blog that is generally safe for minors to interact with if they wanted to reblog and share the safe art, and I would still have my outlet for more adult things.
otomedad would still be a MDI blog though because I don't really do well at containing my weird in my personal space.
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katriniac · 1 day
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I was away for the weekend so I couldn't post this here!
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katriniac · 1 day
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[requests are closed] Anon i'm sorry this is so late I finished these months ago. I meant to draw more but never got around to it UUUH. SORRY SLDKJSLDGKJSD I love them so much. I need to draw them more. ;;v;;
-NO ROMANCE INCLUDED-
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katriniac · 1 day
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I was inspired by a recent visit to the dentist…
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katriniac · 1 day
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Redraw of Cinder’s coronation gown.
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katriniac · 1 day
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katriniac · 2 days
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The MN Guide to Independent Bookstore Day 2024
Our annual Independent Bookstore Day guide is here! Check out what your favorite local shops in and near Minnesota have planned for Saturday.
Jump to store listings: Minneapolis | St. Paul | Greater Twin Cities Metro | Outside the Metro | Outside Minnesota It’s that time of year! On April 27, 2024, bookstores throughout Minnesota and around the country will be celebrating Independent Bookstore Day. Officially participating stores will have exclusive Independent Bookstore Day items while supplies last, which usually isn’t long—tote…
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katriniac · 2 days
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😆 I CACKLED at this part:
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🤣🤣🤣🤣
I didn't expect to see Victorian marriage advice in Katsu's inner monolog! Bwahahaha!!!
All of this was so fun to read. Thank you for reposting the story in installments.
This is the very first of your long-fics that I'm reading. I'm bummed that I only recently discovered your works in the Katsu-Verse, but better late than never! 🥰
And in the next scene we get to meet my ninjenius, Sasuke! 💚 *squeeeeeeee*
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Chapter Three: Dearly Beloved - 'Okatsu' meets Kitty, Mitsunari meets Okatsu, Hideyoshi meets the end of his patience, and someone's face meets a plate of stewed eel.
Mitsunari x OC; Nobunaga x Mai
Previous Chapter
Logline - In order to protect a political alliance, Katusko and Mitsunari must pretend an engagement. But this “all business” arrangement is threatened by a coup against Nobunaga… and by feelings.
From the Military Notes of Ishida Mitsunari…
Diversion: The act of drawing the attention and forces of an enemy from the point of the principal operation; an attack, alarm, or feint that directs attention elsewhere. Two: a change made in a prescribed route for operational or tactical reasons. A diversion order will not constitute a change of destination. Three: a rerouting of cargo or passengers to a new point or destination or on a different mode of transportation prior to arrival at ultimate destination.
Personal comments: I have the worrisome notion that there is something important I have forgotten. Also, it seems I have misplaced my cat. Am more concerned about the latter, as if it is the former, someone will inevitably remind me.
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If I were writing up a society puff piece for a newspaper about my “engagement” party, I would likely write that the food, prepared by Date Masamune, was excellent. The article would note that the entertainment, in the form of Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide’s bickering was… a choice. The bride-to-be wore a pale lavender kimono embroidered with sakura blossoms, with matching sakura blossoms pinned to her hair. And the groom-to-be was… a no show.
I’d been left at the altar by my fake fiancé.
While Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide went out in search of him, Masamune stayed behind to encourage me to eat my feelings. “Here, what do you think of this?” He poked a chopstick full of steamed eel toward my mouth.
Though I had been a vegetarian before landing in this era, I had since learned – out of both necessity and politeness - to eat what was set in front of me. In this case, it was no hardship – the one-eyed man I (as Katsu) had once gotten into a horse race with was an excellent chef. “Delicious.” Since he looked like he was going to try and hand feed me my entire dinner, I asked, “Are you flirting with me at my own fake engagement party?”
“Were I fake engaged to you, lass, I would personally make sure you had a wonderful time at our party.” He leaned a little closer than mere politeness should allow and gave me a you-gotta-love-me grin. “You would never need to fake anything – anything- with me.”
No. Probably not. Masamune was hot, charming, and charismatic. But as fun as I imagined a ‘fake’ relationship with him would be, it was a relief that he wasn’t my ‘fiance.’ A little of that flirting went a long way.
There was a disgusted snort from the other man at our small table. Eeyore – no, Ieyasu, must remember that – had refused to join the searchers, choosing to stay behind and eat in peace (his words). “Masamune, go flirt with the hired help elsewhere. You’re giving me indigestion.” He turned those gorgeous green eyes on me, then he frowned.
Correction. Frowned more.
“Have we met?”
Masamune looked up from where he was spooning more stew into my dish. “Now who’s flirting?”
More staring. More frowning. “No, truly, she looks familiar.”
“Ieyasu, you’re doing it wrong.” Masamune shook his head in mock dismay, before giving me another one of those grins. “If we had met before, I definitely would remember it.”
“Actually, Lord Ieyasu is correct, we’ve met before. And you too, Lord Masamune. I was dressed as a boy on both occasions.” It was better that Ieyasu remember the time he helped me care for my horse, than to make the connection between myself and the old man in the booksellers. Nobunaga already knew about the boy, but I didn’t want him to learn about the couple weeks I had spent in Azuchi earlier this summer… observing.
While the two of them quieted, both, looking at me as if they were trying to picture what I looked like as a boy, something caught my attention – a tiny grey moving blob, darting in and around people. Awww. It was a cat! I set my hand on the floor and snapped my fingers, trying to get its attention, but it didn’t notice me.
The poor thing was going to get kicked or stepped on though. I excused myself from my dining companions and hurried to perform a feline extraction.
However, the cat seemed perfectly (purrfectly?) capable of performing its own extraction, and I ended up following it into the corridor, where it meowed at me, then gave me one of those disdainful looks that said, ‘now that I have your attention, I don’t want it anymore,’ and padded into the gardens.
Feeling the need for some pet therapy after being dissed by my yet unknown fake fiancé, I followed the cat. She was sitting near the shrubbery, legs splayed, grooming herself. I stopped in front of her and held my hand out. “Hi sweetie. What’s your name?” Of course, the cat wasn’t going to answer… but it seemed the right thing to do.
The cat ignored me, her head tilted at something on the far side of the gardens. I heard it too… soft footsteps, that preceded the reappearance of that absentminded bookworm. Unsurprisingly Mitsunaru was reading and walking at the same time.
He stubbed his foot on a rock, and stumbled several steps, finally managing to halt his forward motion in time to prevent a fall.
Ok. He was reading and trying to walk at the same time.
Unalarmed by his near face-plant, Mitsunari tucked the book under his arm, then finally noticed me and the cat.
“That’s Kitty,” he said as if we had been in the middle of a conversation. He crouched down, put his arms out, and the cat – who may or may not have been named Kitty – jumped into them. “Kitty, did I lock you out again?”
“Hello Ki-.” No, there was no way I would be able to utter the phrase, ‘hello kitty,’ with a straight face. It would get filed away with ‘yes, master,’ which Aki had reluctantly deleted from our conversations after my third uncontrollable giggle fit.
I extended my hand to Kitty who sniffed it and decided I was acceptable enough. She bumped her head into my palm, demanding a good scritch. The was something so comforting in a tiny animal willing to accept attention… and I still missed my old ginger tomcat Tony Stark. He’d died a couple years before I ended up in this era, but the best cats all leave permanent pawprint tattoos. Hm, could I talk Aki (or, more accurately Fume) into getting a cat?
With his own head slightly tilted, Mitsunari looked at me, apparently searching his memory bank, then officially introduced himself to me and bowed.
After bowing in return, I said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Overly formal, but it was time to try out the Princess manners on this semi-stranger. “I’m Okatsu.” Huh, Mitsuhide hadn’t given me a surname. Should I use Akihira’s, or wait for future instructions? Not that it seemed to matter in this case, as Mitsunari didn’t comment on the omission.
“Are you paying a visit to Lord Nobunaga and Lady Mai?” He looked around the garden, which was empty of other people.
“In a sense.” I stalled and covered that by dangling my obi tie in front of Kitty. Who here, aside from Nobunaga’s inner circle, knew about this scheme? It seemed safer to presume ignorance until further notice. “Actually, I’ve just escaped my engagement dinner.”
“Dinner! I wondered why I felt hungry.” He unconsciously rubbed his belly, disturbing the folds of his wrinkled kimono and revealing a surprising amount of muscle definition.
Recalling my attempts to feed him earlier this summer, I asked, “Did you lose track of time while you were reading?”
“Yes! I take it you do that as well?” Mitsunari beamed so happily that I was nearly scorched by the rays. One of the sakura blossoms in my hair was so overcome that it fainted and drooped over my eye. Huh. He ought to come with a warning. Caution: smile is deadly.
“I’ve been known to get absorbed in something to an extent that I lose track of time.” Generally, that would be riding and archery, not reading, but those were not exactly the most princess-like hobbies. I sent him an attempt at a mysterious-princess semi-smile, jammed the wayward blossom back in place, then turned my attention to the footsteps – two sets – rushing through the garden. I was pretty sure they belonged to… yep – Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi.
“There you are!” Hideyoshi said in a strained tone that I suspected would become his default mode when dealing with me.
“I’m sorry. I saw the cat, and-” Oh. He wasn’t talking to me. His attention was fully on Mitsunari, as he viewed the younger man with a mixture of impatience and affection.
“I see you’ve already met.” Mitsuhide looked from me to Mitsunari, who was cheerfully accepting Hideyoshi’s mild scolding about being late for dinner. “And here everyone at the party was waiting for you both.”
Already?
Both?
Is… ?
Since Mitsunari’s attention was taken up by Hideyoshi, I inconspicuously tilted my head in his direction and mouthed, ‘him?’
Mitsuhide smirked and nodded.
Him?
I’d expected my ‘fiance’ to be an unapologetic flirt, wild and free, like Masamune. Not… a human ASMR video.
That sakura blossom fainted again, this time falling out of my hair completely, hitting me on the nose. I sneezed violently, and the petals scattered everywhere. Several of them lodged in Mitsunari’s hair, where I imagined they’d be very happy to stay.
“Why were they waiting on me?” Mitsunari looked from Mitsuhide to Hideyoshi and back. I hadn’t thought he’d heard Mitsuhide’s comment, but maybe he’d been paying more attention than he appeared. “Lady Okatsu said it was her engagement dinner.”
Hideyoshi closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, then opened them again.
“We’re still here,” Mitsuhide said.
Yeah, that had been a close your eyes and wish for someone to beam the rest of us out of here. Too bad transporter technology hasn’t been invented yet. Maybe it never would be.
Ignoring Mitsuhide, Hideyoshi turned to Mitsunari. “We discussed this last night.” His tone was patient. His posture was defcon level three.
“Last night?” That was said with so much confusion that I again recalculated how much attention he paid to the world around him.
“You’re supposed to remove all reading material from the vicinity when you’ve got something important to tell him.” Obviously Mitsuhide liked poking the Hideyoshi.
“I did.” This was said between gritted teeth. Defcon two now.
It would be tempting to sit back and just watch the two of them snipe at each other, although such entertainment would likely be improved with popcorn. Which had been invented, but not in this part of the world.
Meanwhile Mitsunari looked like he had remembered… something. “Oh, you did take my book away last night. But I was at an interesting point in it, so I went back a few chapters in my head and re-read them until you left.”
He has an eidetic memory? Well, that explained a lot. He had read almost all the books on military strategy in Aki’s booksellers in only a couple weeks. But it seemed more likely now that he’d just been scanning them into his hard drive for later.
“Were you aware that he could do that?” Mitsuhide murmured to Hideyoshi.
Hideyoshi shook his head.
“What was it you wanted to tell me?” Mitsunari belatedly appeared to realize that he’d missed something important. “I am sorry that I did not listen last night.”
“Tonight’s party is for Lady Okatsu and you,” Mitsuhide began, only to be interrupted by Hideyoshi.
“Mitsuhide had a plan to bring in someone to pretend to be your fiancée.” To gain attention, Hideyoshi stepped in front of Mitsuhide, partially blocking him from us. “Initially, I agreed, but only if-”
Mitsuhide didn’t move, but his interruption was as successful as Hideyoshi’s physical block. “In order to ensure that Shohime-”
“-if you are willing to take part in this farce-”
“Tactic. It is a tactic that will, in essence, allow you to-”
“-but rest assured if you’re not willing-”
They interrupted each other so fast that it was unlikely anyone would be able to understand. Mitsunari looked from one to the other, his face looking increasingly worried. Kitty, wisely, jumped out of Mitsunari’s arms and got the hell out of there.
“-Okatsu is highly trained and will do all the work, you’ll only be required to-”
Lie back and think of England?
“-and the more I think about it, the more I believe it’s an ill-advised idea-”
“-it will work perfectly well -”
I stuck my fingers in my mouth and whistled. Everyone finally shut up. Military strategy. That was Mitsunari’s programming language. “Mitsunari. They want to use me as a diversion so that you will be able to study at Genba Castle in peace.”
“Oh, that is an excellent strategy. I would appreciate having uninterrupted time to study unbothered.” He said that completely innocently, but I wondered if underneath that was the hope that ‘no one’ would include McCoy and Spock over there. “Thank you, Lady Okatsu.”
“But when we are in Kanamori territory, you and I will need to pretend we’re engaged.” Hm, better clarify. “Getting married.”
“You will not be required to actually marry this… girl.” Hm… what had Hideyoshi been about to call me? He steered Mitsunari out of the garden. “I will go over the details while I help you pick out something more appropriate for the celebration.”
With a glare at Mitsuhide and clearly fake smile in my direction, Hideyoshi escorted Mitsunari away.
As they exited, Mitsunari looked over his shoulder at Mitsuhide and I. His prior confusion seemed to have been replaced with annoyance at being treated like a toddler who couldn’t dress himself. For that matter, I was rather annoyed on his behalf.
Once they were out of earshot, Mitsuhide calmly brushed sakura petals off his shoulders. “Did you… whistle at me, brat?”
I waved that away. “It got everyone to shut up, didn’t it?”
“I’m not questioning the result, only the method used to achieve it.” He rubbed his chin. Interesting. He and Aki have the same tell. I wonder if they taught that at Spymaster University. And really… he was going to lecture me about method versus results? “We’ll have to give you remedial instruction on manners and behavior before we leave for Genba.”
Translation, he was going to make me pay for that whistle. Truthfully, I felt a bit ashamed of that too. Aki had always encouraged me to speak my mind and stand up for myself, but I shouldn’t have acted that way in front of men who were virtual strangers. “I do know how to behave in public, and how to follow orders. I promise you won’t have to worry about any further insubordination.” I gave him a meek, eye-lowered bow.
“Don’t overplay it.” Mitsuhide laughed. He steered me back toward the banquet. “You wouldn’t be working for Yamaoka if you couldn’t follow orders.” I relaxed slightly, until he added, “you’ll still need to report to Hideyoshi for instructions on behavior. This is for his peace of mind.”
“Of course.” Mitsuhide didn’t care at all for Hideyoshi’s peace of mind. He was sending me to Hideyoshi so that we could annoy each other.
As we approached the main hall, the sounds of merriment and celebration had increased – well, they didn’t really need a bride and groom to party hard. When Mitsuhide slid open the door, a dual blast of heat and noise slammed into the corridor. “I’ll leave you here. I have every confidence in your ability to carry this off, and meanwhile I have made it my personal mission to get Masamune drunk at least once a week.”
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Once Hideyoshi returned with Mitsunari, who had been spiffed up in a clean, wrinkle-free kimono, and his hair combed (mostly) and de-blossomed, the fake engagement resumed with 100! Percent! More! #Awkward!
“Lady Okatsu. Do you like… blue?” Mitsunari’s ears turned red, and he ducked his eyes to his plate. Apparently, Hideyoshi had impressed upon Mitsunari the importance of acting the doting fiancé in public but neglected to give him any suggestions on how a doting fiancé behaved. This led to Mitsunari attempting various conversational overtures, but not feeling confident enough to finish a sentence, so he was constantly rebooting and starting over. Each time that happened, he would look a little more flustered and flushed. The only good news was that our table with Ieyasu and Masamune was separated from the rest of the others enough so that from a distance, he looked like a proper blushing bridegroom.
The whole situation was motifying at best – before this fiancée scheme had been dumped on him, Mitsunari hadn’t had any problems talking to any version of me – whether I had been the old man, Katsu, or Lady Okatsu. “Yes. It reminds me of lakes and the sky… and…and...”
Oh hell, it’s contagious.
“My eye is blue.” Masamune winked at me for emphasis.
Ignoring the “help” from the peanut gallery, I asked Mitsunari. “Do you also like blue?”
“Yes. It is very… blue.” Blush.
Loading… loading…
Until Mitsunari finally ran default.weather.smalltalk.exe and asked me about the weather where I was from.
Ieyasu threw down his hand towel. “This inanity is putting me off my dinner. Can’t you talk about anything else?”
Mitsunari turned to him. “I’m sorry you are not feeling well, Ieyasu. I could make you some tea?” He looked prepared to sprint across the castle in search of tea.
Ieyasu’s big green eyes got bigger and greener. “Don’t you dare.”
Masamune leaned in too close to me and said in my ear, “Mitsunari makes terrible tea. Don’t ever drink it.”
Good to know, Mr-no-conception-of-personal-space. I scooted slightly away from him and turned back to Mitsunari. “My home is inTogakushi mountain range, and it’s nice in the summer and cold and snowy in the winter.”
This was acknowledged with a nod, then followed by BSOD.
Ieyasu snorted.
Right. Military tactics had worked before. At least it was a topic I knew Mitsunari felt comfortable discussing. “Where I live is rather isolated, up a narrow mountain path. If you were leading an attack force, how would you go about it?”
“It would be unadvisable to travel in strict formation. Rather the most effective tactic would be to conceal smaller units under the cover of darkness and for a surprise attack.” Mitsunari smiled and proceeded to play toy soldiers with his dinner, as he explained the schematics. Once he got into the topic, he came alive, with broad and mobile hand gestures that likely would have sent a dish of food into someone’s lap, if I hadn’t kept moving cups and bowls out of the way.
It was kind of like playing ‘whack-a-mole’ in an arcade, and I was enjoying testing my hand/eye coordination, when Mitsuhide swooped in for a fly-by teasing. “You all look like you are having fun.” He leaned over Masamune’s shoulder. “How is the happy couple? Are you enjoying getting to know each other?”
“Lady Okatsu is interested in battle strategies.” Mitsunari once again gestured widely. I tracked the path of his hand and moved my bowl out of range.
“Yes.” I directed my response to Mitsuhide. “So lovely to get to know Mitsunari-” I paused to move my teacup away from his elbow, “in front of so many people. Most people are forced to have to do this in private.”
I was not allowed to get away with the sarcasm. “Yes, it’s fortunate for you that we needed to get the word out so quickly,” Mitsuhide said mildly as he – wait… did he just pour something in Masamune’s tea? “So that Kanamori Mozumi will have word of your existence before you appear with Mitsunari on his doorstep.” With that, he thumped Masamune’s shoulder again, and moved on.
I should warn Masamune about-
“He’s correct.” Mitsunari had flipped the switch and self-promoted from space cadet to general. “If the purpose of this ruse is to get unimpeded access to the Genba archives, then the sooner our engagement is accepted as common knowledge, the better.” Whoa. Ok. He could indeed focus on something besides books when the mood took him. Mitsunari then reached for his bowl – which wasn’t where he had left it, and the sleeve of his kimono knocked his chopsticks to the floor. He leaned over to grab them and bumped the table. A bottle of sake teetered toward Ieyasu.
“I knew it was too good to be true,” Ieyasu grumped, right before I caught the bottle.
Close call.
Ieyasu let out a long sigh.
Which was when Masamune’s eye fluttered shut and he pitched forward onto the table, his head landing in Mitsunari’s bowl, sending a shower of food everywhere.
Well, it’s not really a party until someone faceplants into a dish of stewed eel.
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Dear Aki. Please come rescue me. These people are insane…
I stared down at the blank sheet of paper. I absolutely could not write the words that had formed in my head. He was counting on me to both behave professionally around the Oda, as well as look into the politics in Hida. The denizens of Azuchi weren’t actually insane – I was simply just not used to them yet, that was all. And if I was feeling slightly lonely, without anyone to really talk to (Mai was lovely, of course, but she and Nobunaga were obviously in that stage of a relationship where they formed an entity unto themselves), well… I would be just as lonely back on the Mountain, with only Fume for companionship.
Yawning, I gave up on the letter, plopped myself onto the futon, shuttered the lantern, and did my best to try to sleep. I’m not a great sleeper in the best of times, and definitely not while in an unfamiliar place, so I was still tossing and turning when something squeaked in the ceiling above me.
Rats?
Squirrels?
Or worse?
Maybe it was my imagina-
Swish! Squeak!
Too heavy to be a squirrel.
I rolled out of bed and grabbed my dagger.
It was too dark to see much more than the shapes of the furniture. Plastering myself against the wall, I tracked the path of the noise. Then a ceiling panel moved, and a human shape dangled above the room.
The human shape said, “Tok.”
That was a weird battle cry, but she who waits to be attacked loses the element of surprise. I made the first move and yanked the person down. He (or she) landed on their feet, so whoever it was had been ninja trained.
That… would fall into the category of “or worse.”
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@bestbryn @katriniac @briars7 @lyds323 @lorei-writes
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katriniac · 3 days
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Matias Bond Story Level 1 - His First Impression of You
Still not good at my reading comprehension, much less my Japanese language skill. So, I'm going for gold and attempting a straight translation this time. If you depend on this to be accurate, you have made a major mistake in your life and should rethink the path of events that brought you here.
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Matias: What did I think when we first met? . . . Okay, I’ll tell you now, I doubted you were really a woman. 
Do you mean I don’t look like a woman?
I look like a man?
Remain silent.
1. Do you mean I don’t look like a woman?
Matias: No, you look like a woman, that’s why I felt uneasy. 
2. I look like a man?
Matias: You don’t look like one at all. Your clear voice, your lovely face, your delicate shoulders, and your smooth waistline. . . 
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( I call this the 'I stopped narrating my fantasy just before it became R-rated' expression)
Matias: . . . *Cough* No, never mind. Don’t worry about it. 
3. Remain silent.
Matias: What is it? Your expression doesn’t look good .  .  . You’re shocked . . . I’m sorry. I’ll accept my punishment and atone for this sin. 
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(The 'Oh crap!' expression)
Matias: You forgive me? No, please don’t forgive me. Even if you forgive me, the law won’t forgive my sin. 
Matias: Wounding a lady’s heart goes against the 49th rule of the Asbrink family and I must be punished.
Common End
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Matias: When I interact with women, they roughly fall into two categories.
Matias: They’ll push for excessive contact, and smile at me differently than they smile at other people, or they’ll remain silent and stunned. 
Matias: You were different. You smiled at me the same way you smiled at everyone else and tried to get to know me.
Matias: This is the first time I felt comfortable being around a woman . . . So this is why I hope we continue to get along.
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katriniac · 3 days
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This was literally me February through April this year.
🥺
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burn out
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katriniac · 4 days
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Comte A4 and E5 please! It would be so funny to see him loose it
Hello! Thank you for requesting Comte, he was so fun to draw! I had a lot of fun drawing him in these expressions!! I love this silly man so much.
Hope you like him as well!
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Expressions requests are open
General requests are open
Commissions | Kofi
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katriniac · 4 days
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🥹🥹🥹🥹
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STOP IT I’ll cry so hard I love them
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katriniac · 4 days
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It’s okay to mourn the things you lost because of trauma. Including the time you lost. But try not to forget you still have time ahead of you. You can never get the lost time back but you can still find happiness.
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katriniac · 5 days
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Loud and proud 😉
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Permit yourself to be a monster fucker
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Tumblr turned me into a monster fucker where's the undo button
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katriniac · 6 days
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@vioisgoinginsane @vivigoesinsane Wait u guys should see the whole picture
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