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kaablooie · 3 years
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Humans are peaceful, not harmless
If you are unable to fight you are not peaceful, you are harmless. Only when you have the capacity for violence and yet choose not to use it are you truly peaceful. This is an important lesson learned when humans encounter aliens who have never met a species like them before.
The new species to enter into negotiations with the Trade Federation were not wholly unlike many others.
They travelled in groups and were highly social, an important trait where cooperation was agreed as a universal requirement to gain technological advancement.
When the Ambassador and their entourage arrived they gave their official designation name to be Human and their planet of origin Earth, a word which our translators seem to think means something like ‘fertile ground’.
With the Ambassador came the priests, at least or so we thought. They carried talismans and wore ornate clothing, speaking little, and behaving in accordance with strict hierarchy, just like the monks of the ancient worlds. It spoke to us of a thoughtful and careful people, certainly the Ambassador consulted frequently with the senior priestess known by her title of General.
Our chosen negotiation centre was the planetoid of Jaril, close enough to Human territory to not put them too far out of their way and yet also not too far for us. We hoped it would become a good neutral trade site once we discovered what we held in common.
The grave mistake of ours was to assume it was also a site far enough from the Tarma for them to not take an interest. The Tarma are an unusual species in that they are evolved from apex predators, a situation we thought impossible until they first burst into our territory. What form of predator is social and cooperative enough to advance? It turns out some apex predators turn spare time between hunts into complex mating rituals requiring feats of intellect and ingenuity, for which family groups will band together to get the best bloodlines.
Still, the Tarma are a huge problem when most of us are the survivors of prey ancestors whose cooperation was essential to survival from predation.
When their ships were spotted we prepared to do as we have always done, to retreat and reconvene in a safer location at a later date.
Then the human Ambassador turned to the General and said, “I believe this is where I hand over to you.”
The General bared her teeth in the most disconcerting way as she smiled. “I believe it is.”
Before we could begin our evacuation, the human priests did what we at first mistook for a starburst escape. We were horrified when their tiny ships navigated towards the Tarma, we thought they were about to be slaughtered.
The Tarma were no more prepared for what happened next than we were.
The Human Ambassador was not travelling with priests, he was travelling with warriors. I will swear on my herd’s life, I saw the most peaceful and reserved creatures turn from monk to exterminator in moments and I was thoroughly shocked to my core.
In less than a Human hour the Tarma had fled and the General calmly returned command to the Ambassador.
“But, we thought you were a peaceful people.” My diplomacy, I fear, suffered for the stress of the situation.
“We are.” the Ambassador reassured us. “We come in peace to trade, to explore, and to learn. We mean no harm to anyone who does no harm to us.”
“How can you claim to be harmless when you did that?” I gestured to the debris still visible from the viewing window.
“If I may.” the General spoke softly. “We stated from the start we are a peaceful species, perhaps you simply mistranslated the meaning of our words. We are not evolved from prey, nor from apex predators. We are from a place in the middle, we are the hunted and the hunter. You mistook us for a harmless species, when in fact we can do a great deal of harm, we simply choose to reciprocate peace.”
We have a new and powerful ally now.
A species willing to trade combat for peace.
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kaablooie · 4 years
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Human: So this is my home planet.
Alien: I don’t get it.
Human: What?
Alien: No offence but your species is cute but also terrifying.
Human: Thank you.
Alien: But this planet is so… normal. How did it evolve you lot?
Human: Well we live on every part of the planet so we have to…
Alien: Wait, you mean recently you’ve been able to inhabit every part of the planet through like eco-bubbles or something, right?
Human: Oh, no. We just went everywhere even before technology got out of control. Why, where did your species evolve? I just kind of assumed that everyone took over their whole planets first.
Alien: On… one specific mountain. Where a very specific berry grows. So wait you can just survive unsupported in a desert? In snow?
Human: Pretty much anywhere that has oxygen and food and doesn’t stay above 150F for long periods of time, yeah. We figure it out.
Alien: *goes pale* W- how?
Human: That’s what happens when omnivores go galaxy-brained. Adaptation!
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kaablooie · 4 years
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I made a store for the space orc community. I’d love some other ideas to add to its offerings.
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kaablooie · 4 years
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Howdy, you just posted chapter 47 of your deathworlder series and I went back to the first chapter to reread it (since it's been a while I'll admit), and continued to read the free chapters on your Patreon, but they only reach up to chapter 20. So the question is, was that chapter released as a sort of teaser to be a Patreon or was that an error or something? Sorry if I seem pushy or something of the like, I'm just curious
You got it with the teaser ;)
But actually I was happy with that chapter so I thought I'd share it here and see how people reacted to it. I'm nearing the end and will be doing some serious rewrites on the first 20 shortly that I will share.
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kaablooie · 4 years
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Deathworlder - Ch 47 - Weighed Down
Jenkat had been getting up from her pallet when the ship was rocked. The jarring motion combined with already being halfway off deposited her unceremoniously on the floor. She was still recovering from the crash landing onto Quillar and getting bounced around wasn’t currently her idea of a good time. Getting back up on her feet, she allowed a growl to escape her lips. Jenkat hadn’t thought it was possible to feel this awful and still be alive. Everything hurt and the prospect of crashing in another ship wasn’t helping her mental state.
There was no doubt in her mind that the Lodra had finally caught up with them. If they were attacking them on the surface of a foriegn world, they must have brought the full force of the Lodra Initiative to bear. That was decidedly not good. When Jenkat had signed on with the Lodra she never thought she would be engaged in any sort of violence, let alone ship to ship combat. They were supposed to be a civilized society guarding the galaxy from another Virus or some other calamity escaping that cursed world. The Lodra Initiative had been successful at their vigil for thousands of years without devolving to barbaric physical assaults.
Nothing had ever made her feel as angry and betrayed as Commander Chokat turning the peaceful guardianship of the Lodra to the aggressive, vicious, and uncivilized organization it had apparently become.
She ran into the corridor from her quarters at the same time as Drassa and Chirpy. They exchanged silent glances at each other and began heading towards the bridge. They all knew the Lodra couldn’t dock with them within the atmosphere of the moon so it had to be some sort of aerial attack on their ship.
As they ran Drassa asked Jenkat, “Do you think they’re doing an orbital bombardment with asteroids like they did back on Earth?”
The corridor here was narrow and they could only go two abreast. Chirpy was only a couple paces behind them.
“Not likely,” Jenkat responded. “That was only viable back on Earth because we passed through that asteroid belt scooping up some ammunition and the Terrans don’t have an orbital defence system. Even though the Quillar don’t have one for military purposes, their system in place to deal with natural small solar system bodies that might pose a threat would make light work of such an attack.”
The ship shuddered again and all three braced against the walls to keep from falling over.
Steading themselves, they resumed their run to the bridge. As Jenkat reached the T intersection at the end of her corridor she was almost bowled over by Camden, Kensie, Sandy, and Jack who were barreling down the wider main hall which terminated at the bridge. Everyone lurched to a stop, the massive bulk of the three humans terrifyingly close to crushing her and the other two hexapods.
Jenkat’s unexpected fear of being steamrolled must have shown for a second on her face as Camden awkwardly scratched at the back of his head while muttering, “Hi. Uh, sorry about that.”
Jenkat had just opened her mouth to respond when the ship lurched upward and they were all thrown to the floor. The force was so great she couldn’t move anything but her eyes. Darting them about she could see the others were similarly pressed to the ground. Jenkat could tell if the force being exerted on her didn’t let up, she was going to slip into unconsciousness. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Camden trying, and failing, to struggle to his feet. That he could move at all was astounding. As she watched him, her vision began to dim. The edges of her sight darkened until only a narrow point of her focus was visible. With the gravity dampeners to compensate for the forces generated by massive acceleration the situation Jenkat found herself in should never have happened. As there was still power to the ship as evidenced by the lighting of the corridor not being affected, she knew that the dampeners were still operational. They were such an integral part of the ship’s safety that they had backups on their back ups. Nothing short of a complete and utter power drain of all of the systems or catastrophic failure of all of the gravity dampeners simultaneously would render them inoperable. The only conclusion for their current predicament was that they were being accelerated at a velocity beyond the capacity of the dampeners to fully compensate for. That they were still in once piece rather than stains on the floor was a testament to how robust the engineers had made them.
Mercifully, the pressure began to ease. She was starting to regain feeling to her extremities and the narrow tunnel her vision had become returned to normal. Despite that, Jenkat still couldn’t move against the incredible force being exerted on her. That is, until it wasn’t.
In an instant, the pressure disappeared and everything around her stopped. Everything except for her and the others. For a moment that seemed an eternity, she was weightless between the floor and the ceiling. In her mind’s eye, for only a split-second, the people around her seemed frozen as their momentum ruthlessly carried them upwards. Her impact with the ceiling was preceded by a deafening wrenching and tearing of metal.
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Jenkat was on the floor. Again. Being crushed. Again. This time, however, she was on her back and the cause was the destroyed bulkhead laying across her body. In a detached sort of way, ignoring the pain, she realized that it must be at least partially resting on something else for it not to have crushed her completely. She wondered what had happened to the ship. It was awfully quiet. Or were her ears not working? It didn’t really matter. She would be dead soon. It was hard to breath.
Jenkat wasn’t sure how long she had been lying there, staring up at the flickering light of the wrecked ceiling. She felt groggy and confused. Her mind had been wandering. It took her back to the Radasha homeworld where she had grown up. The pack that raised her and trained her before she left to join the Lodra Initiative. The group that taught her about the calamity of the Virus and how the Terrans, if not properly contained, would bring about ruin to the entire galaxy. Her memories then flitted to her time amongst the Lodra. Emergency drills and learning to operate and repair ship systems. Classes about the dangers of the human deathworld. Then she was back with her progenitors, before leaving to join the pack. Her earliest memories. Being cared for in the incubation sack while her parents provided food and cooed to her through the gelatinous membrane. Not being able to move, but unlike now, comforted and warm.
There was a soft smacking sound that brought Jenkat back to the present. She opened her eyes just in time to see an ancilla poke its body over the edge of the bulkhead currently entrapping her. Her immediate and panicked thought was this is going to be a much more horrific and painful death than she had expected by being crushed to death. Instead of touching her, it seemed to be considering her which gave Jenkat’s addled mind time to realize that this was likely Covid, Camden’s companion. As she stared up at the featureless, transparent blue blob looming over her, it started to ripple. With a wet sucking sound, it split almost in half creating a U shape with its body. It stretched outward for a moment before slapping itself back together creating a resounding clap. The sound was so loud and unexpected Jenkat would have recoiled in shock if her circumstances permitted it.
“Jenkat is over here!” A voice yelled in passable if heavily accented common. She felt she should know that voice but her head was still groggy. A head with a hairless face poked over the edge of her cage beside the still waiting Covid. “Help me lift this off of her,” Camden said.
More heads popped into her vision.
Drassa, Chirpy, and the quillarion, Jack, stood there looking down on Jenkat. Drassa touched Camden’s arm softly and leaned in to gently tell Camden what Jenkat already knew. “Camden, we cannot hope to move such a large piece of wreckage without gravity manipulators…”
Camden looked at Drassa with a perplexed frown. “Nonsense,” he told her. “Sandy and Kenzie, get on either side of that corner,” he gestured with his chin as he crouched down right over Jenkat’s face. He turned his head towards the two hexapods. “When we lift this, you two pull her out.”
Camden looked back at the other two humans waiting on him and nodded, “On three, ready? One, two, LIFT.”
Jenkat watched Camden as the muscles under his skin seemed to ripple along his arms and back before straining against his shirt. The other two humans sounded no less intense but Jenkat didn’t have the angle to see them from where she lay. For a couple of seconds the humans strained with no noticeable movement and the brief glimmer of hope she had allowed herself began to fade.
Then the debris that had pinned her down began to shift. A soft dust began to fall, getting in her eyes and forcing them closed. The pressure restricting her breathing began to ease and she gratefully inhaled the sweetest breath she had ever taken. With her eyes still clenched shut, Jenkat felt a number of tentacles wrap around her arms and shoulders. They tightened and began pulling. She was moving! Hope flared again as she was dragged out from under the bulkhead.
Once her arms were free, she was able to wipe at her eyes and open them. The humans were expectedly terrifying with their giant, teeth bearing grins towering over her sitting down on the floor. She tried not to let that rattle her anymore. Jenkat knew by now that the facial expression was involuntary when the humans were particularly happy. The other aliens were staring at the humans in whatever form being agog took for their species. Jenkat couldn’t guess at the weight the humans had just lifted off of her but she knew with certainty it was orders of magnitude more than any other species she had ever heard of could have handled unassisted like that.
Camden was just reaching out to Jenkat and looked on the verge of speaking when there was a cacophony of voices from down the hall leading to the bridge. Camden turned with the others towards the commotion. From her position sitting amongst the broken bulkhead and ceiling debris she couldn’t see what had grabbed their attention. She knew from Camden’s faltering smile that it was nothing good. When he looked back at Jenkat she knew there was going to be trouble.
“Jenkat, get up if you can and get behind us,” Camden said in a low voice. When he unslung his sword from his back, she knew that the Lodra had found them.
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kaablooie · 4 years
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kaablooie · 4 years
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Deathworlder
I re-wrote the first chapter and changed the title. Hope you enjoy!
Deathworlder. Terran. Human.
It had taken three cycles, or six Earth years, to acquire the requisite permits to enter the Exclusion Zone and capture one. Zeno had made countless applications to the Magistrate of the Galactic Consortium before finally being approved. Now he was here.
Earth. Or Terra, as it was widely known throughout the Galaxy, was used by countless species to frighten their brood into behaving. Be good or the Terran will come and eat you. Listen to your progenitor or they will come and crush you with their heavy worlder paws.
As far as Zeno was aware, no one had gained access to Terra for thousands and thousands of cycles. And not without good reason. Earth was classified as an A1 Unstable Level planet - a Deathworld.
Part of what made Earth so dangerous was the abundance of oxygen present in the atmosphere. There were no members of the Galactic Consortium that breathed the volatile gas. In fact, it would likely kill 99% of the known life in the galaxy in a horrible and painful death. Oxygen was so reactive and dangerous due to its catalytic effect on combustion it was considered a restricted material. Yet, here was a world full of life thriving on the stuff!
Oxygen was one of the main culprits for so many denied permit applications. The Magistrate would not condone the creation of an oxygen filled containment cell for Terran lifeforms onboard a ship. It was deemed too great a risk. To have so much of such a volatile and toxic substance in a closed system flying through space was simply unacceptable.
Zeno didn’t let this deter him though. No A1 Unstable Deathworld was going to get in the way of his research or block his application to acquire a human. Through a joint effort with a few specialized colleagues, and the financial support of the Xenobiology Education Center, Zeno was able to create a small breathing apparatus he could implant in the human to make free oxygen on the ship unnecessary - and hurdle one of the main sticking points of the Magistrate.
Dubbed the Oxgenator, it grafted directly onto the human’s breathing gland. This device, in real time, separated the oxygen out of the Carbon dioxide molecules the Galaxy Standard atmospheric mixture of CO2 and Nitrogen the majority of space-faring species required.
It was this surgery the human was still recovering from, lying unconscious on the metal slab within the containment cell. While normally this kind of invasive surgery would require many cycle marks, or Earth weeks, and a fortune’s worth of regenerative medication to recover from, the human’s natural cell growth was astounding in its ability to heal. Zeno had never seen anything like it.
Speaking so as to create a record of his findings, Zeno addressed the computer implant in one of his six, long, sinuous appendages.
“It has been a half mark, or five Earth days since the subject has had the Oxygenator implanted into his chest cavity and with a single dose of Regen the incision is already almost completely gone. A single dose! The effectiveness of this drug in conjunction with the uncanny regenerative abilities of this species is quite frankly, terrifying. Terrans - all lifeforms from Earth - are already notoriously difficult to kill. A recommendation to the Magistrate regarding the strict regulation of Regen medications near the Exclusion Zone is warranted. Humans in possession of such medication would be a serious threat to civilized space.”
The human stirred.
It was unbelievable. Watching it on the viewing display, it was clear the human was regaining consciousness. The potentancy of the sedative administered should have kept it out for another mark and a half (about two weeks), giving the human time to recover and Zeno time to prepare.
Part of Zeno’s preparation had been to learn English. His competence with the language had come a long way in the six years leading up to this moment.
The Xenobiology Education Center funded a knowledge gathering department called the Department of Alien Observance. This office was dedicated to, among other things, interpreting alien languages that had not yet undergone first contact and were unaware that someone out in space was monitoring their often un-encrypted communication broadcasts. Humans were particularly prolific and their languages have been well understood for a considerable time now – if little studied by anyone other than Zeno. Since English seemed to be the predominant language in the Terran’s most recent communication broadcasts, Zeno decided that it would be the language he would teach himself. Afterall, he wanted to be able to communicate with his captive specimen.
The human sat up.
Chapter 2
Table of Contents
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kaablooie · 4 years
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scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet
peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,
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kaablooie · 5 years
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I used to work at a movie theater. I can’t count the number of times I would tell people after ripping their ticket to enjoy their show. It was always awkward and funny when someone said, “You too!” back to me. It happened a lot.
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
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kaablooie · 5 years
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Table of Contents - Consummate Fear
The first 25 Chapters! I’m about halfway done I’d say. Let me know what you think so far!
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kaablooie · 5 years
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Consummate Fear - Chapter 14 - Extraterrestrial Phone Home
Read it back from the beginning: Chapter 1 - Updates to the story and plot holes have been filled on this version to make it more readable and enjoyable. 
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kaablooie · 5 years
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Read it back from the beginning: Chapter 1 - Updates to the story and plot holes have been filled on this version to make it more readable and enjoyable. 
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kaablooie · 5 years
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Hello my tumblr peeps! I hope you’ve enjoyed what I have written so far as much as I have enjoyed writing it! Please consider following me on my Patreon page to get earlier access to each chapter as I write it. What started off as a fancy I’ve decided will become a full blown novel, and I would love for there to be people to share it with. The link above is for the next chapter, but there are already four more after that. I will continue to post here as well though, you might just have to wait a bit longer for it. 
Thank you for all of your likes and feedback! Your enjoyment is what keeps me going.
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kaablooie · 5 years
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never read or watched harry potter and all i know about it comes from fans posting content on here and i think that is very sexy of me
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kaablooie · 5 years
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Extra Sensory Perception
(Back to the beginning: Part 1)
Part 11.
Camden was a little frustrated. His relatively new Master’s in Computer Engineering really didn’t prepare him for alien technology specification documents on inter-dimensional communication. The data-pad he had been staring down at for the past few hours was still gibberish, although he was fairly certain that it had indeed been translated to English properly. He was beginning to wonder if maybe the reason why Zeno had been so free with giving him access to whatever information he wanted was because he knew that there was little chance of Camden understanding enough to make use of it. It could also be because of the incident with the Lodra a few days ago. While Zeno wasn’t really acting any differently, the rest of the crew were noticeably more wary around him and Shanza had apparently left via what sounded a lot like an interstellar Uber. It wasn’t a stretch of the imagination to understand that they feared him. Maybe a little fear was a good thing. He was, despite his relative freedom on the ship, a captive after all. 
He was re-reading a paragraph about how light can be sent through a higher dimension and act as a faster than light communication method when the most god-awful stench that had every deigned to grace his olfactory system hit him like a frog playing in traffic. He got to his feet and with his nose in his elbow, whipped around to find the source of the offending odor. 
Zeno had just entered the room and had taken a startled step back with Camden’s sudden movement. 
“Zeno, what the hell?” 
“What?” he responded innocently. 
“You’re kidding, right? What is with that smell?”
“Smell. I remember this word coming up while studying your language, but the computer was unable to assign it a translation from our language databases. The cases when it was used were unclear as to it’s intended purpose. The adjectives used in conjunction with smell usually related to taste but only occasionally was the word used while eating. It was very confusing.” Zeno’s diatribe corresponded with a slight orange colour shift to indicate confusion.
“Smell. You know, like tasting something, but from a distance. For humans, we use our nose. Like right now, you smell like I would imagine snorting lines of dried sewer water would smell like,” Camden’s muffled voice answered from the crook of his elbow. 
“I don’t understand. Are you saying that you can taste me? Right now, from where you are standing, from ten feet away?”
Camden was dumbfounded. “Zeno, with a smell like that, I will be able to find you anywhere on this ship. What is wrong with you?”
Zeno couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Somehow, Camden had realized that Zeno was going through his Shedding period. Every few cycles, new skin would grow under his old skin to replace the wear and tear it gathered over time. It was messy if not taken care of. For around 50 hours this would take place with his old skin dying and being pushed away by the new skin underneath. At the beginning of every morning during this time, he would scrub himself down to ensure he didn’t suffer the humiliation of flaking in public. Only other Hexapods could ever pick up on the telltale signs and knew when one of their kind was going through the Shedding, but even then not all of the time. He related this to Camden but he had to know more about this distance tasting called smelling.
“Are you eating skin cells I am shedding and that are passing through the air? I cannot imagine that there are enough for you to detect. If it wasn’t for your obvious reaction, I would not believe you. Is this a prank, as you would say, being orchestrated by Drasset?”
“Zeno, man, I’m not actually eating bits of you through the air, I was just trying to explain what it was like. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure it’s the molecules being produced from whatever the hell chemical your rotting skin is making I’m picking up on. It varies wildly by the particular chemical and environmental variables, but I kinda remember something from biology class about the human nose being able to detect something associated with rain at concentrations as low as five parts per trillion.”
“Molecules. You have the ability to detect molecules. In the air. AT FIVE PARTS PER TRILLION.”
“Um, yes,” Camden said rubbing his nose and trying not to let his eyes water.
“Perhaps, the most advanced and sophisticated of sensors in the most prestigious labs, have the ability to detect what you just described. And you have it built into your head! What else can you smell? Does everything have a smell? Can you tell some molecules from another?”
“Pretty much, some things more than others.” Camden mused. While he was adjusting to the scent, he wasn’t quite ready to remove his arm from his face. “For humans, smell is closely associated with taste. Everything we eat has a smell. Every person and every animal has a smell. Even inanimate objects like steel often has a smell.”
“You can identify people by their smell?”
“Well, no, not usually unless they have a really strong odor, and that’s rarely a good thing.”
“No wonder your species is the apex predator on your planet. How could any animal compete with such an advantage in the wild!” This was entirely new information regarding humans and Zeno couldn’t wait to add this revelation to his research. It explained so much!
With a full belly laugh, Camden said, “Well then, just wait until I tell you about dogs.”
——————-
If you’ve liked what you’ve read, please consider joining me on my Patreon page where you can get early access to each chapter. https://www.patreon.com/roman_williams
——————-
Next: Part 12 (On Patreon)
Other parts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12 (On Patreon)
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kaablooie · 5 years
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Umm, pretty sure I have this correct below:
THIS IS DARK BLUE
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THIS IS UGLY GREEN
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THIS IS DRINKING PURPLE HAZE VOMIT PURPLE
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THIS IS BLUE, LIKE THE SKY (NOT SKY BLUE)
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AND THIS IS EXTRA UGLY GREEN
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OKAY SIT DOWN SHUT UP, WE’RE GONNA TALK COLORS
THIS IS SAPPHIRE
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THIS IS TEAL
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THIS IS PERIWINKLE
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THIS IS AZURE
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 AND THIS IS TURQUOISE
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WONDER WHY THOSE ALL DON’T LOOK LIKE THE SAME COLOR? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT 
OTHER THAN BEING PART OF THE SAME FAMILY OF BLUES, THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! WHY WOULD THEY ALL BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! DO YOU THINK WE JUST NAME NEW COLORS FOR KICKS!?!?!?
WHEN DESCRIBING A CHARACTER’S GOD FORSAKEN EYE COLOR, PICK ONE YA GODDAMN HIPPIE
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kaablooie · 5 years
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I like the windy fart machines. The bigger it is, the wetter it sounds.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW
THIS IS A TRUMPET
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THIS IS A TROMBONE
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THIS IS A TUBA
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AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN
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THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
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