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jjdrawing · 1 year

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He’s an instigator, not a fighter.

Bonus:

I just love how we see Racetrack pissing off the Delanceys and then immediately betting on wether or not Jack will beat them up. That little shit stirs the pot.

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jjdrawing · 1 year

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We’ve almost unlocked five more pages of the Bloom Book!!

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jjdrawing · 1 year

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choose your goose 🔪🌼

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jjdrawing · 1 year

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ghost of the valley

sticker design based on my sis telling me my favorite flower (lily of the valleys) look like ghosts

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jjdrawing · 1 year

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grunkkkk

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jjdrawing · 1 year

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How did you know you were on the asexual spectrum?

it’s still a mystery to me as i am still figuring out myself, but something that really struck me was that i never had desires for anything really?

just the way my friends who were in relationships talked, tv shows, i never desired anything like that. when i looked at anyone, i never felt a sexual attraction really, and it’s something i believe i could live a fulfilling life even without it. i rarely even thought about it in all honesty. realizing that, and realizing that not everyone felt the same way, made me start to research a little.

i also began to realize i have very little romantic interest in general, only ever had 2 real crushes. but i have always longed for romantic connection (a hopeless romantic who struggles with romantic interest. imagine that.)

i took so many quizzes, i remember all the way back in 2020, and read up on asexuality, demisexuality, i even figured i was lithromantic at a point. it was all (and still is) very overwhelming for me.

i struggled so hard to label myself because i felt doing that was the only way for me to finally know myself and be understood. i felt i needed to have a label to be valid, to fit in the community because i realized i wasn’t the standard, i didn’t have the default settings everyone else did (i honestly believe nobody does, but that’s a rant for another time..)

from personal experience, i find it much more relaxing being unlabeled, because trying to label such complex feelings that go on in my mind would be impossible. so i do consider myself unlabeled, if my feelings were to change in the future i like not being tied to a label. that being said, i am open to broader terms, such as spectrums! hence why i mentioned being on the ace spectrum, and why i’m willing to talk on it! plus i believe talking about things i have considered myself, or describing my feelings that may relate to a certain label (like asexuality) can help people who do prefer labels.

anyway…..

because of my struggle, i find myself living vicariously through fiction and media when it comes to things like dating.. (loser)

it makes it really hard growing up like this, even trying to figure out what part of the spectrum you are on, trying to figure out myself. i never allowed myself to get comfortable enough to someone in order to even start exploring. this day and age trying to date while considering being on the ace spec has been a challenge for me, and i’m sure many can relate. dating is black and white in most of the populations mind, and there are certain things to expect when dating, and differing from that standard is insanely hard. and anxiety inducing.

it’s very apparent that most people do have desires i don’t and if i were to pursue someone i like, they expect me to have them as well (because that’s what people who date do, isn’t it?)

in the past this has been a fear of mine because i have been accused of “leading people on” because of the way i am, so i shy away from dating in general nowadays, and that is why my sexuality (figure out if i’m really asexual or even just other sexualities) is still a mystery to myself as i am too scared of doing the wrong thing and hurting people. i hope one day i can build up the courage and start the journey to finding myself! whether that means lgbtq+ or not!

and i hope everyone, ace spec or not, has the chance to do the same. don’t ever be afraid of doing the wrong thing because finding happiness is never wrong, is it? and know things like sexuality can be fluid, don’t feel bound to labels unless you find comfort in them, and don’t feel scared to change.

love u all