Liz McGowan: Fern Ammonite (1992)

swamp algae

Hopefully, some of these are what you're looking for ^o^ Most of the images I make and keep are pretty clear.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Mousse Cake

Lavender Earl Grey Cookies

㋡🥀

White Chocolate Chip Brownies

red

Grilled corn with whipped miso butter

ladies do we care? do we care anymore ladies,?? do we care? ladies do we? do we care anymore ladies???? ladies do we caree??? do we?????

im gonna be real with you for a sec. love is real and there is nothing you can do about it

And then, some days, it hits me hard.

Basic life skills are great, but what are you teaching your children about the LGBTQ+ community and being an ally?

I would LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to stop thinking about you.

"Hey, it's me. Leave a message"

"Hey. I was just calling to tell you all the ridiculous things I think about. Like, do you remember the day we ran out of Foods class when the substitute teacher wasn't looking? Man, she was such a cow. Or the day we both showed up wearing the same My Chemical Romance t-shirt, so we decided to be twins on twin day? I even curled my hair to match you. Those were my favorite times. The best.

I know this is pathetic. To be constantly having this guilt and sadness looming over my head, but it won't stop. I've tried to make it stop. I thought I had let go of everything, but every time I do, you start talking to me again and it sucks. I want to be able to talk to you like you're my best friend again. No feelings, no sexual innuendos, just talking. I want to be able to talk to you about how he and I are doing and how we're doing so much better. I want to hear about her, your kids, and how you guys just bought your first house, that's so awesome, man! I want to feel okay being able to see you and for us to hang out, without any underlying feelings. I want us to be okay. I want us to be okay with each other because...I know we're not. I know that when you call me at 2am, when no one else is around, all you talk about, all WE talk about, is us. Us and how it used to be. Us and how it could have been. It's like he doesn't matter, she doesn't matter, and it's just the two of us that exist.

Remember that night? When we talked and I stood outside, in the cold, talking to you because, dear God, the cold is worth hearing your voice. The cold was worth hiding it from him. So we talked and you asked me about my tattoo and I told you why. I mean it. I'll always mean it. You know, I always tell myself that that night was exactly what I needed. That hearing you say you still feel the same way is exactly what I needed. But it wasn't. If anything, it's exactly what I don't need. At all. Now, here I am with this false sense of hope that one day, possibly ten to fifty years from now, it could be us. But I don't want that hope. I can't keep clinging to that hope. It's not fair. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to them. Especially not fair to them. Could you imagine the shitstorm if they knew?

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm starting to ramble. I guess what I just want to say is congratulations on the new baby. I wish you luck and I'm really happy for you. Really.

Bye."