LOVE IS WEIRD!

How can you love someone when you dont know them? Do we consider it lust? Does it qualify as love when you like them? But what if you love someone for their portrayal of a character? You love their work even if you dont know them on a personal level. They could be completely different after you meet them. I've seen people get mad about actors being not so nice when they meet them in person and honestly it kind of irritates me when they complain about it. Are they not allowed to be themselves? We paint this picture of perfection for them to be like their characters we pay to see on a screen and then get mad in reality because they arent actually their characters and sometimes we blame them for things they can not control. Theyre just doing their job they applied for. Just like you and me. You see, its kind of appalling when you think about it. We are in the age of social media and everyone watching your every move. Celebrity or not, someone is watching you and expecting you to slip up in your perfect world you created and this persona that we put on that we are all beautiful and happy and damn near perfect, but what happens when you get mad or upset or go on this huge venting shpeal about how bad life is that day or how angry you are with so and so, i mean we have all done it. I myself am super guilty of it. But once its said and done and its out there in the vast electrical world we cant take it back and we have to be careful for the next time because.. Someone is watching. We convince ourselves it gets better and that we are justifiably right in our own ways and we go back in our little bubbles thinking everything is perfect again.

Heres the thing, we get offended about the tiniest of things a celebrity does. We expect them to be perfect and be the people we aspire to be and dream about their lives and what theyre doing like we love them just as much as their characters they portray. Im not a scholar but we act like we know them on a personal level, like family or friends or neighbors down the street. Reality is they are ordinary people doing a job they are being paid to do by the people who hire them who scout us out and try to figure out what we want to see on our electronic devices. Why do we expect so much from people we hardly know? We convince ourselves we adore these people we know nothing about to the point where its scary. we look at them like they can give us what we need out of life all because theyre doing their jobs and its getting old. Yes they do an amazing job but why cant they have privacy like we do? We as fans cause most of the stress celebs have because we love them and WE EXPECT THEM TO BE PERFECT! People like Chris Pratt and Zac Efron to Claire Danes, Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez to be like those people we see on tv and to be Flawless and perfect.

Im sure ill get a lot of flack but ask yourself, What would you do if the entire world was watching you and your family because they "love you and want you to be perfect" for some self induced fantasy youve created in your head thinking your destined to be together. They are doing their jobs, so why not let them be themselves when you meet them in real life because frankly theyre not their characters, they are doing their job just like you do when you make the money to go see them.

Just something to think about.

happy kitty

"Summa Cum Laude

Okay for the longest time even when i was in college. I thought it was pronounced "Sum a cum loud" for some reason. Its the little things i guess.

this is me some times, especially when i am invested so much into my work, whether im actually working, painting, drawing or taking pictures. 

Confusion...

Okay so a bit of backstory, My ex and I have been seperated for almost two years.... a part of me loves him dearly (dude was kind of my first/second/third love rolled into one) after a year, I stopped dreaming about him and what not... right before him and I got together I had a vision of my wedding and walking down the aisle... He was there standing at the alter. I was walking home from my former job and it just hit me... I am by no means psychic and I don’t know where these projections are coming from. and frankly its driving me fucking crazy. I have never ever felt this strong of a connection to anyone including but not limited too my ex girlfriend (first love). I swear this is probably as insane as its gonna sound and that I shouldn’t persue it and just let shit go. Flash forward tooo halloween 2017 more or less like a week ago when I was working, I felt this rush run through me and I spaced out.. I was completely wide awake and what not blah blah blah, same vision again same man same human beings at the place. I have a new boyfriend who is absolutely amazing and Ive completely moved on from this person. Tbh I love my boyfriend and I plan to marry this dude but the universe and brain are telling me different and I HATE IT! well, yesterday since its already past midnight where im at I went for a drive and I was looking for a mask for my costume and out of no where, I had a “vision” again the same one. He was standing there smiling and I could hear his voice next to me and he told me he loved me. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! I AM WITH ANOTHER MAN UNIVERSE! I am so confused, I am done with my ex because hes such a fuckboy, he tried to get with my best friend/ex girlfriend (thats a really long story) and second of all he manipulated me and tried to say shit happened when it didn’t. So to say the least Im completely done with him... so why am i having these fucking visions of a man who isnt my boyfriend?! I am rather confused, i have a feeling something huge is going to happen to me but i dont know what and its rather frustrating but I just have a feeling it has to do with him and my current boyfriend. excuse the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes... I dont feel like editing this. anyways -Jax out! 

You'd never know until you've been there.

Life is kind of funny. Just when you think good thoughts and everything is going wonderful... it hits you in the guts like BAM! Here's some problems. The world is so corrupted but no one is willing to do much about it. They don't care because it's full of people whom are selfish and only think about the number one. If you're having a problem, you gotta fix it yourself. I mean that's legit the real world and I guess you have to be selfish up until you need to be selfless in times of trouble. Praying only gets you far and so does protesting. Because you never know if the right people will listen to you and actually listen or they think your crazy. I watch the news and hear every thing people say from both sides and it's just too much of the same talk but different points of view. I mean, instead of listening to the media constantly listen to people talk on the street or in group conversations. I mean you don't really have to say much. I just think people now only listen to what pertains to them because they want to believe nothing bad can happen to them. I think if we start listening with out reacting and start thinking and trying to understand, it could get a little better. I mean I'm not asking for world peace. I'm just asking for people to try and understand each other maybe we can get some where towards a better living environment instead of this toxcicty we have going on. We can't change people but we can change how we perceive the world.

Oh sorry, I mean' t trash panda...

Peter Quill Guardians of the Galaxy VOL2 2017