irkedisaac
IT'S NOT A WINDOW IT'S A WOUND
i am an adult. you will learn nothing else about me.if you're not an adult, leave right now. thar be cocks beyond this point somewhere.btw if i blocked you its because i think you are ontologically evil and not because i saw your untagged fanfic in a place it didn't belong
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the thing about the dishonored morality system people don’t understand is that it’s actually the only one that makes sense regarding morality in killing people
#people complain hard about Chaos because it “punishes” them for killing enemies#and in DH1 it was something of an issue because there's only a couple ways to nonlethally deal with enemies#but it's not a game mechanic for the player - Chaos is a narrative arc for the character#if you thought you could kill dozens of people while aiming only for a few and it would turn out well? that's on you#cynicism and apathy are the enemies in dishonored not the politicians and scrooges who are slaved to them#hiram burrows is our enemy not just because he killed the empress but because his cynicism and apathy are fucking dangerous#you wanna talk about a man with high chaos? look no further than the man who ordered the agonized deaths of thousands for his comfort#dishonored is a game about the means not the ends and it doesn't care if you were justified in using them - just if you used them#dishonored
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i know erend is talking about his armor i know. but i think also his cock is ring-locked and sturdy enough to choke me
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unfortunately adhd is also "i have 300 hours in this game and got more than half of them in the past two weeks. when was my last meal?"
Adhd is have 100 hours in a game and know you've only actually played maybe 60 hour because you get distracted while playing and leave the game open on the menu for hours at a time 😅
#shitpost#the hyperfocus hits and you stop being a person who eats food#you're a bunch of fingers for pressing buttons#and then afterwards you sleep for three days
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reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney
#this deposition was comedy fucking GOLD#spiro seems to only know the phrases “don't answer that” and “objection to form” and has no idea where to apply either of them
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“Before the writers started working on the first season, I wrote a list of six things on the wall that every episode had to do.” - Mike Schur (x)
#the good place#this show was incredibly good#genuinely fun twist the first time around#and perilously funny across the board#the good place has so many long-fuse jokes that are SO goddamn funny#“how do you smell loud and confusing?” is a grade-A payoff of a joke
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where did all the sporks go when we decided they werent funny anymore
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Can we just take a moment to appreciate the genius design decision of having Corvo's health potions be the literal elixirs that prevent the rat plague?
It takes what could've been a simple gameplay mechanic that nobody would've thought twice about and grounds it in the world and the lore. It explains why Corvo is never at risk of contracting the plague, despite coming in closer contact with it than the vast majority of people - he's chugging these things multiple times a day. It also explains why random people would keep these things stashed everywhere - it's not just loot for you, the player, to be rewarded with, it's their actual supply of life-saving medicine.
And when you think about it that way, it makes every moment you casually snatch an elixir from someone's nightstand a little more impactful. You're not just topping up on health potions, you're literally stealing the only method by which people can be kept safe from the plague. In low chaos, you'll end up not needing most of the ones you come across by the end of the game, because you'll be staying out of combat. But in high chaos, you'll be taking them a lot more. Which means less elixir to go around, and therefore, more people dead from the plague.
I used to think that the increase in weepers in high chaos was mainly down to Corvo leaving more dead bodies lying around. But I think that this is an even more potent explanation. Because of course going around and hoovering up all the elixir in the city would have consequences. And who are the people who have the least access to elixir to begin with, from whom stealing it would take the greatest toll? The poor, obviously. Who you most often see becoming weepers. What a game.
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ct. you know many thimgs. can you teach me what a "prostate orgasm" is & how to get one
So back in the middle ages, many magicians felt that the world was primarily ruled astrologically. The planets, the moon and the sun, and signs of the zodiac, were all a sort of heavenly language that God used to administer the world.
The evidence for this was the similarities of things. The sign of cancer looked like a crab, therefore it ruled over crabs, and all things like crabs. So the sign of cancer was connected in some way to any thing reclusive, hard-shelled, furtive, and self-reliant. This idea, that the star signs and planets are connected to qualities on earth, is known as "The Doctrine of Signatures."
This extends to the body! Check out this image from De Occulta Philosophia, in which Agrippa shows which star signs rule over which elements of the body.
(yes that diagram on the left is what horoscope charts used to look like.)
This diagram is from the 1500s. Take note of the planetary associations on the left here. The core of the body is associated with the sun, but the genitals, the genitals are lunar. (Because they ebb and flow like the tides as they get excited.)
Humorously, but also as significant magical commentary, Alieststair Crowley would extend this conception of the Magical Solar Internal Core of the body to the idea that the butthole was therefore also solar in nature. This was both simply a logical extension of Agrippas magical theories, and a clever jab at traditional religious institutions. (The Christian god is often considered astrally solar in nature.)
He combined this with alchemical doctrine --in which the uniting of the sun and moon is popular imagery-- and came to the conclusion that penis-in-butthole sex was one of the most magically potent things a person could do.
#and he was right#about that specifically#almost everything else he was a little weird about#but penis in butthole sex is magically potent and i can prove it#shitpost
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idk what this train station you guys keep talking about has to do with anything but you're telling me they killed this guy and then opened his grave a couple days later and there was nothing but little crackers?
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ok so if two men meet for the first time and gently cup each others' bulge for the first ten minutes of conversation, that's New Handshake and then making out with tongue is New Goodbye hope this helps
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Maybe UFO runs off of cows so that’s why they carry theym up in the sucker beam
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Today's aesthetic is cassette futurism
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For decades stoners were renowned for their aesthetics. For their blacklight posters and lava lamps, for their airbrushed dragon murals and electrical shock orb thingies from Spencer Gifts. Then they legalized weed and every weed store became the flattest, emptiest minimalist void imaginable. They're putting a weed store in a former Rainforest Cafe and they're tearing out all of the rainforest decor to make it just a big empty space with walls painted the blandest green they can find. They tore down paradise and put up a place where a business major tries to tell you CDB oil can cure cancer
#accurate#ive only been to a couple weed stores but the first one and the most recent ones are very different#its jarring to go into a place to buy drugs and then it looks like a dentist's office
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aloy wtf are you doing, we gotta fuck this hottie with the murder fetish. coward
#shitpost#horizon zero dawn#started playing the other day and reached the end of his quest#i deserve to suck nils sloppy style some miles away from our most recent pile of corpses#his dick is probably disrespectful as fuck
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all my saves are +12 or more and i have advantage on all my attacks. the emperor will not be taking his turn during this encounter. he will become a vaguely purple smear across the dragon's chest, and then i'm gonna turn the dragon into hamburger meat during the second round.
ive played through bg3 three times as the same character, a human vengeance paladin dark urge and fuck if im not gonna make it four times. sorry im boring but i think its objectively funny every time we meet a new evil bad guy who monologues about how much we suck and are inferior, then gets his skull caved in by my incredibly beautiful and sexy mace + 300 divine smite damage. suck shit my guy im the hero
#shitpost#bg3#i loooooooove killing the emperor#i think hes the funniest character to betray you#look at me! i lied coerced and threatened you all the way here do you wanna be buddies?#no???? what the fuck i guess ill commit supergenocide then#int score of 20something common sense score of -30
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do u guys think the last like 20 guys even got a turn or was caesar quite dead somewhere in the preceding 40 guys
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