instructioneer
A List of Lists
Hey. My name is Evelyn Leon, and I have a lot of lists, detailing lots of instructions. I don't advise you follow them, this blog is just for posterity.
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I Suppose I Should Also Mention
That you guys are completely welcome to ask me stuff about my situation? I have a submit box as well, but I can’t imagine what anyone would put in there. Feel free to ask me about any of the lists, or about stuff I know, etc. I won’t try to like... actively hide stuff from you guys other than what I mentioned in my last post though, I just find this stuff a mix of confusing, amusing, and mildly concerning.
-Evelyn
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Ok, so, last week my uncle died.
Last week, my uncle Hermenegildo died. Yeah, I know, weird name. That’s pretty much the only thing I knew about him too. Needless to say, I’d never met him, but last week my mom got a letter in the mail about it, we hummed and hawed and thought that it was sad, and we expected that to be the last we’d hear about it.
Until all these dang boxes showed up. Yesterday, I went outside to get the mail, and instead I find dozens of boxes clogging up the front porch, with a note on the top, saying “from the will of Hermenegildo Entoli”. So, great, I inherited a bunch of stuff from an uncle I barely even knew I had. I brought them in, hoping that maybe they’d stick to the stereotype and be filled with bundles of money.
Well, they were filled with paper, but not the long green type. Instead, I am now the proud owner of tons of, what I can tell, are bizarre lists and instructions for... stuff. A lot of them are unpleasant at best, impossible and possibly written by someone on The Worst Drugs at worse. Some of them are written on what looks like hunks of skin. I don’t really want to touch those.
Inside one of the boxes was a red sharpie and another scrap of paper, saying “I’ve checked off the ones I’ve done. The things I’ve won should be coming shortly. You don’t have to do these, but they should stay with someone. I trust you. Uncle Hermie.” I’ve found some of the ones with checkmarks written on them in red sharpie, and a couple of them are ones that I’ve thought were impossible, and the “prizes” for completing them are... strange, to say the least.
It occurs to me now that that letter didn’t say how my uncle died, and I don’t really think I want to know anymore.
Anyway, I think it might be a good idea to let the good folk of tumblr see these, maybe you can make more sense of it than I can, though uh, considering that I don’t actually want you guys DOING any of these and getting yourselves into serious trouble, I’m going to change or leave out very small parts of random ones of these. Which ones? You won’t know, that’s the point, so don’t even risk it.
-Evelyn
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