Gai: Next time we meet, we’re enemies! Kakashi, in his head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words

Gai, after waking up post-8th gate: Go on. Shout, scream. Say something. Kakashi, hugging him: You are as beautiful as the day I lost you.

Gai: Fuck you! (confession of love) Kakashi: Fuck me yourself! (reciprocated)

Tsunade: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Gai, motioning to himself and Kakashi: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

Kakashi: I have all I could ever want right here. Gai: Awwww! Kakashi: I was talking about my Netflix subscription.

Gai: Hot air balloons kick ass. Kakashi: Are they safe? Gai: Not really. Kakashi: Can you stop if you don't like it? Gai: Think again. Kakashi: But can you steer? Gai: Listen, don't bring that negative energy into the wicker basket, okay? I'm gonna light this flamethrower.

Kakashi: How many of you have played musical instruments before? Ibiki: Do instruments of torture count? Kakashi: No. Gai: Is mayonnaise an instrument? Kakashi: No Gai, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

Gai: I'm about to kiss something. Kakashi: I'm something, kiss me.

Kakashi: I should turn you in right now. Gai: You wouldn’t! Would you? Kakashi: Give me one reason why I shouldn’t. Gai: Because… I’m cute?

Gai: And when it's cold and winter is upon us, the snow comes up, just like the flowers! Kakashi: Now, Gai, I know that's wrong. Snow doesn't come up, it comes down. Gai: After it comes up, the wind blows it around so it looks like it's coming down, but actually it comes up out of the ground - like grass. It comes up, you guys, snow comes up! Kakashi: Oh, good grief! Genma: Gai, why is Kakashi banging his head against that tree? Gai: To loosen the bark to make the tree grow faster.

Kakashi: Can we PLEASE talk about something else? Gai: Sure. Gai: Do you think geese are mad that the game is called "Duck, Duck, Goose" and not "Goose, Goose, Duck"?

Kakashi: Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving extremely late with an iced coffee. Gai: ...You said that so proudly, I almost respect that.

Kakashi: Okay, I screwed up yet again. So now what? You're going to kick me out? Gai: You think you can mess up so bad we'll just give up on you? You can't. You are part of this family now and you're going to feel the full weight of that. You're going to wish we threw you out.

Gai, looking through Tenten's bag: Hey Kakashi? What does a pregnancy test look like? Kakashi: It’s like a thin piece of plastic with a thing at the end of it. Gai: Ah, okay. Gai: Then this is definitely a gun.

Gai, sobbing hysterically: The only tests I get high marks in and they're for a psych eval???? Kakashi: Kakashi: What the fuck

Gai: Kakashi, are you having a depressive episode? Kakashi: Depressive episode??? I've been having a whole ass depressive SERIES for a WHILE, GAI

Kakashi: Hey, so I think you're pretty cute so I was wondering if you want to go out- Gai: "Pretty cute?" Gai: I'm a ADONIS.