Gojo: Nanami and I are going to be married! Megumi: You asked already? Gojo: Oh, he doesn’t know yet.

Megumi: You wanna see how tough I am? Megumi: *punches wall* Megumi: Megumi: Take me to the hospital.

Mahito: Look inside yourself. What do you see? You should at least have a few lungs. Kenjaku: A few. Mahito: Give or take.

Gojo: Dessert of the day implies another, possibly even seductive, dessert of the night.

Gojo: Sometimes I’ll just wake up in the morning and… I’ll be looking at Utahime in the early light while she’s asleep… Gojo: …And I’ll drag this shoelace across her face and I’ll yell “UTAHIME WAKE UP THERE’S A BUG ON YOUR FACE!!!” Gojo: She usually wakes up screaming.

Gojo: Don't worry, if there's any sign of trouble, then I'll come running! Yuuji: What's a sign of trouble? Gojo: Your agonized screaming!

Geto: This is the worst day. I think I’m gonna go wander out in the rain for a while. Manami: But sir, it isn’t raining. Geto: Wow, I can’t catch a break, can I?!

Yuuji: Know any good books? Megumi: Megumi: I don't think you're ready for this conversation.

Geto: Do you know what it's like… to be afraid of yourself?! Gojo, having flashbacks to the time he ate four family-sized bags of gummies in one sitting: God, dude, I sure do.

Gojo: Now what do we do? Yuuji: Improvise! Megumi: Why do we always have to improvise?!

Mahito: I've done nothing wrong. Mahito: Except for all the atrocities. Mahito: Besides that, I'm innocent!

Yuuji: A baby’s laugh is literally the most adorable thing you’ll ever hear. Junpei: Unless it’s 2 AM. And you don’t have a baby.

Therapist: I believe you said that your childhood experience was satisfactory? Megumi: No, you misheard me, I said it was ‘sadness factory.'

Nobara: How do we get out of this situation? Yuuji: Oh, I know! In Scooby Doo, secret tunnels are always behind shelves and things. Megumi, sighing: Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of Scooby Doo?

Megumi, hitting the wrong speed dial: You're in a realm by yourself, the laughingstock of your village. You're a comedic vessel that has no port or harbor, a joke of a wanderer with no destination. You— Yuuji: Uh? Megumi: Megumi: This isn't Gojo, is it? Yuuji: Nope! Megumi: *hangs up*

Geto: I know that from the outside, it seems like I have everything together. Shoko: No, not really.

Gojo: If the multiverse theory is true, then there’s a universe where it isn’t. Geto: Multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical situations. Gojo: Except in the universe where it does. Shoko: I’m getting a headache.