Catalina: No one likes a show-off. Anne: Unless what they're showing off is dope as fuck!

Anne, talking about her downfall: It was crazy! Cathy, who once got a text from Anne where she accidentally called the Grinch the Grink: Was the Grink there?

Cathy: I have the next five years planned out.

Anna: Five years. Cool.

Anna: I've got the next two and a half hours planned. And then there's darkness. Possibly some dragons.

Catalina: Mary, my heart, today is Saturday, the day of rest! Mary: Sunday's the day of rest. Catalina: No, Saturday's the day of pre-rest. Mary: Pre-rest? Catalina: Yeah, so that way when you actually get to Sunday, you're rested enough to enjoy your rest. Mary: That makes absolutely no sense. Catalina: That's because it's six o' clock on a Saturday morning!

My little baby off to destroy people!

Catalina, talking about Mary

Anne: I didn’t understand why people care so much about their stupid kids until I had a kid of my own.

*holds up baby!Elizabeth*

Anne: I’ve only had Lizzie for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Catalina: Mary’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Jane: Boys?

Mary: Arson.

In which Jane is trying to process a bit of bad news

Catalina: Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say.

Jane: “ Always look on the bright side of life?”

Catalina: No. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.”

(Catalina packed lunches for everyone on a day trip)

Anne: I...think I got your lunch?

Note from Catalina: I am very proud of you! Love, Catalina.

Cathy: Oh yeah, I didn’t think this was meant for me.

Note from Catalina: Be good. For the love of God, PLEASE be good.

Ma'am, the truth is I talk to God all the time. And no offense, but he never mentioned you.

Catalina, to Anne

Anne: If I cut my foot off and like...swing it at your head, am I kicking you or hitting you? Catalina: You'll most likely mentally scar me more than anything else.

(The queens are playing Mafia)

Kat: I think it’s Anna because she always gives that lazy eye when she lies.

Anna: I literally have astigmatism! It’s a miracle I can even see!

In my defense the moon was full and I was left unsupervised.

Anne Boleyn

Catalina: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Jane: Are you okay?

Catalina, crying: My cat stole my fucking garlic bread

Catalina: I’ve got this headache that comes and goes.

Anne: *walks in*

Catalina, groaning: there it is again

Anna: Who the fuck-

Jane: Language!

Anna: Whom the fuck-

Jane: No!