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imaginativescribbles · 12 years

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Crutch, Crutch, Crutchin' Along.

A story Rebecca and I made a while ago. We were talking about one of our besties who had a broken foot at the time and was on crutches, and we called her "Gimpy". We continued with the word play and this story just happened.

We never really have an end to our stories, we just sort of quit halfway through, so I sorta added a little ending to it. I added a few particular references, as well.

E: crutched XD

R: New verbs of the day :)

E: We could start our own children’s show. The verb of the day is: crutched :D Brought to you by the number 2

R: Let’s sing kids! :D

E: You put one crutch in front of, the other crutch,

You put one crutch in front of, the other crutch,

Crutch crutch crutchin’ along!

R: Good job kids! Now you’re getting’ it! :D

E: Now, let’s learn some vocabulary!

Gim….py

Gimpy!

R: G-I-M-P-Y

E: It is a noouuun. It is a name we call a person. A person who uses our next vocabulary word!

R: It’s a name we call a temporarily disabled person! But don’t pity them, they are just like us.

E: And the next vocabulary word iiiiiis:

Cru….tch

Crutch!

R: Cripple!

E: Ahem… No silly that’s the next word! We have to give the definition of crutch first! *whispering hastily* (What are you doing?! You’re messing up the script!) *cough cough*… anywaaaay, a crutch is used by disabled people to walk. And remember the verb of the day and our little song? Crutches allow that action!

R: (Sorry! This is my first time on air). Now let’s use crutch in a sentence! Kayla stood up and dropped her crutch! Get it kids?

E: *Laughter from the kids* And when Kayla drops her crutch she can’t go crutchin’ along anymore, can she?

*Kids respond loudly* NoooooooooOOOOOOOOooooo

And we go on to our next vocab word:

R: Now can we spell it out? Say it with me!

C-r-u-t-c-h!

E: Oh yeah! We’ve always got to spell out our words! Sorry kids, I forgot that important step!

R: (Gosh Erik, who’s messing up now?) Now let’s move on to our next word!

E: (Some of us are fully immersed in the role!) Our next word is:

Cri….ple

Cripple! :D

R: Have any of you heard that word before?

E: *kids respond in mass* YeeEEEEEEEEEEeesss

R: Alrighty! Now let’s learn what it means! Cripple means “to lack full functionality”

E: They may lack function, but they’re still just like you and me!

R: Do we see a theme here!

E: *children erupt* BOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And the children shout various statements such as:

“They’re not like us!”, “They ain’t normal!”, “We don’t like cripples in our garden!”

We attempt to calm down the screaming children, but to no avail.

R: “Shoot, what did we do?!”

E: “I… I don’t know…”

As the wild rampage of the children ensues ,as pieces of the set come crashing down, as things get knocked over onto the ground, two men slowly come crutching up to the set.

We stare at them, faces contorted into a questioning manner. The cripples lift up their crutches and flick them so the feet are pointed directly at the mass of children. They pull triggers and laser beams shoot out.

The children are disintegrated immediately when hit. They let out inhuman screeches, the remaining running to avoid the beams. They sprout bat wings and their jaws elongate to show multiple rows of sharp teeth. We look in horror at the confusing sight. It was as if our sanity had broken down, and we were going crazy with hallucinations.

Two bat children fly down 20 feet away from us. They stalk toward us, red eyes blazing, teeth shining with saliva. The two men disintegrate the bat children just before they reach us. The men whoop and holler with each bat child they kill.

They get the final one. "Yeeehaaaw that makes 15 for me, Buck!"

The other guy, Earl responds "At least I get my kills with one shot, Earl. You light up the place like it's a duck shoot carnival game."

We stare at the two men, dumbfounded. "Who... who are you?" I ask.

"Aw I hate when there's witnesses," says Earl. "The monsters leave no mess, but witnesses means taking care of the bodies."

"WHAT?" We both exclaim in unison.

"Shut up, Earl!" shouts Buck. "You just made things even harder!" He looks at us and calmly says "I'm sorry, but we have to do this. It's our job. It would be better if you just turn around and shut your eyes."

"I don't think so," you say. And you pull out a shot gun. "The word of the day is cripple, motherfucker." You shoot in slow motion and "Mmmmmm whatchya saaaaaaaay" plays during the scene. Buck looks down to see a hole in his chest, and looks up at you in shock.

As Buck drops dead, the scene changes to me. I whip out two handguns. "You won't be crutchin' along anymore," I say. In the same slow motion, I shoot, "Mmmmmmm whatchya saaaaaay" playing, Earl hits the floor, staring at me in bewilderment.

"Well that could have ended better," you say.

"Where the hell did you pull that shot gun from?" I ask.

"Don't worry about it."

We both squint our eyes and stare each other down.

"It was pretty convenient that we both had our own guns, isn't it?" you say.

"But the question is, why did we have them?" I respond.

"No, the real question, is what else do we have?"

You pull out a collapsible crossbow, and I pull out a pair of ninja sai.

I throw a sai as you shoot the crossbow. In ultraslow motion, "mmmmmmm whatchya saaaaaaaay" playing, the sai and arrow speed toward each other, sai spinning, arrow flying straight. They cross paths, scraping against each other, creating minuscule sparks. The arrow flies at my face, the sai hurtling at yours. Our eyes slowly open wide in horror as the weapons close in. The glint of the sai reflecting in your eyes, the arrow point reflecting in mine.

And the scene goes dark.

#story #gimpy #crutching #children's show

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imaginativescribbles · 12 years

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Why was six afraid of seven?

Here's another story I made while texting Rebecca. It was quite spur of the moment. It's a little disturbing really. My main characters always suffer through a horrible incident during their childhood. And there's usually sexual promiscuity involved in my stories...

The main character is 6

Other characters are 7, 9, and 8.

Well, enjoy!

September 18, 2012

E: U know wat? I got a question for you.

R: For… ffor me?

E: Yes. For… you :))))

R: I’ve never had a question of my own before :)))

E: Well you can write your name on it because it’s just for you :) And it is:

Why was six afraid of seven?

R: I’m going to put it on my bookshelf and there it will stay forever :)

E: but. You have to answer it first.

R: But I’ve never done that before :o

E: Well… the answer is obvious isn’t it?

7 was in love with 9. 7 and 9 were so in love, they eventually married. Now, 9 was a rambunctious player. He really got around. And even though he was in a relationship with 7, 9 still snuck some poon tang when he could get it. This continued on through the first few years of their marriage. One night, 9 was hooking up with his office staff member, 8. They had hooked up multiple times already, and it was becoming a regular thing, so regular that 7 began noticing strange behaviors in 9. Staying out late, coming home a little sloshed, and so forth. She told herself she was being paranoid, and 9 was just working extra heard at the office to bring in more money. Then she switched to different things to think of. Whenever she thought about family income, she thought about children to support with that income. However, 7 went through an illness a few years back that left her unable to bear children. 7 was left emotionally unstable at the news. If only she had had a child before her sickness. d

A few years pass, 9 continuing his sexual escapades, and 7 telling herself he’s a devout husband. But at this point, 9 had gotten himself into a largely scaled predicament. His casual sex partner, 8, got pregnant. One night a few years back, 9 and 8 were completely drunk. Forgetting protection, they continue with their romp. Nine months later, a baby was born, 6. 9 worked hard to keep this quiet. He paid off 8 and paid for child support. He worked hard to keep it a secret from 7. 7 noticed a change in 9. He was suddenly more attentive to her, showing her more affection.

This went on for number of years. But even with 9’s effort, 7 discovered the secret. 8 showed up the door o day. 9 hadn’t paid her money in a while, so she came to tell 7 what was going on. 7 was livid. Knowing that she could not have a child, and her husband impregnated this harlot, she was furious. She snapped. She was already living on the brink of sanity for so many years, and she finally snapped. Just like 8’s neck before she dropped to the floor. Out of pure rage, 7 had murdered 8. And she was out for blood. 8 wasn’t enough. She wanted 9, and she wanted 6 as well. Only then could she live in peace.

And that is why 6 is afraid of 7.

R: JesUS

E: The reason 6 knew bout 7 was because 9 had come home from work and found 8’s bloody, limp body on the ground. He knew immediately what must have happened. He quickly went to 8’s house, where now ten-year-old 6 was. He told 6 what happened, and that they had to run far, far away.

R: Jesus actual Christ. ShIT

E: If 6 survives, he’s gonna need a lot of therapy in his teen years. I think I already see the sequel.

#Erik #story #6 is going to kick 7's ass i can see it now

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imaginativescribbles · 12 years

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So, I'm writing a paper for sociology, and I was just going to make a little post on my personal blog about how fun it is and how I'm totally in the writing mood, and then I kept going on, and I got more in depth and philosophical...

I've dubbed this piece the Cycle of Creation. That's a fairly decent name. Usually I'm really bad at naming things.

I put my entire being into the pieces I write.

Words hold power and beauty. Words shift the forces of this world, and one day I wish to create words that will do just that. And with words I shall create entirely new worlds, entire galaxies, all visions floating from the pages, and they shall be inhabited by my imagination, and the imaginations of others.

Numerous galaxies have been created with words. We all inhabit them with our minds and our imaginations. Our senses and our souls. They all intertwine, clashing and combining together to create new wonders. Wonders are made, and we bask in the beauty of such creations. Our creations are forever changing. They sway and move us, and we change right along with them.

We are always dreaming, always creating. Always making incredible wonders, and they intertwine with the ones already created. Never shall they perish. Forever shall they float in the ether of our minds. A never-ending cycle of creation.

#Erik #I'm just procrastinating #this writing energy should be going toward my paper not this #philosophical #writing

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imaginativescribbles · 12 years

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Blue Eagle and Syren Archer

Erik: So, I've been wanting to write a book about a specific character, the Blue Eagle for a very long time, and I've recently included Rebecca as another character to this story, Syren Archer. We were texting something funny one day, and Rebecca replies with this:

R: Turns into the sun in the distance and begins walking toward it as hopeful music plays.

The ground shakes suddenly, increasing in violence and vibration as an orchestral instrumentation would as its trembling strings increase to a forte.

It begins to split open, and we attempt to run away from the ever increasing gap. The dirt crumbles to a fine powder as it slides down into the gaping crevice.

We stumble and slip on the dirt, and it takes us down.

We fall into the hole, falling into pitch black. Our natural reactions of screaming are snuffed out by the air pushing up as with slice through it. We fall for what seems like an eternity.

We see light approaching us at intense speed. We attempt to brace for impact, a futile move because we know are going to die upon hitting the ground. We reach for each other’s hands, a silent act of comfort, a silent goodbye.

The lit ground approaching faster and faster, we shut our eyes, ready for death as we clutch hands.

And suddenly a massive gust of wind pushes up against us, slowing our speed. The ground coming toward us slower and slower, we land with a bruising thud on our fronts.

The mild blow knocked the wind out of us. We attempt to get up in our disorienting daze. All we see is a blur of blue light. Our senses slowly return, and our surroundings come into focus. We are in an underground cavern, and we can see a small patch of sky way above us, where we fell into the crack. The cavern wall is not made of plain rock. The walls are glistening as if a million tiny fireflies are set upon them. The faint blue glow makes the walls shimmer in a brilliant array of sparkles. We discover a tunnel, spouting out blue light. Whatever is the source of the blue light, it is through the tunnel. Normal people would scream for help and be panicked at a hopeless situation. But we see the beauty of the cavern. We walk over to inspect one of the towering walls. Upon closer inspection of the rock face, it looks as if it is embedded with finely crushed diamond. It is a wondrous sight to see. We decide to inspect the tunnel. We walk into the mouth and proceed through it. The light is more opaque. Its brightness increases as we move through the tunnel.

The tunnel curves slightly, and as we round it, we see the exit. It opens into a smaller cavern, and the light is all around us. The walls here are the source of light. The shimmering walls of the previous cavern were beautiful, but the room we see before us is a breath taking wonder. We look around in utter awe and we finally notice the larger round object in the room. It stands a bit higher than us. It glows just as the walls do. It is not perfectly smooth, it has slight points at odd ends. We cannot determine if it is a rock, a gem, or a mixture of both. The reasonable and rational parts of our brains tell us to stay away from it, but our adventurous and imaginative sides tell us to go toward it.

We walk closer to it, the attraction growing stronger with each step. We reach it and peer at it whimsically. It is even grander up close. We feel a deep, natural attraction to it, a strange familiarity. We raise our hands to it, every nerve feeling a pull to this object. We touch it, and sparks slowly creep up around us. We are filled with a feeling of power, an empty space has been filled in our minds, a feeling of getting back something that was long lost. And we black out.

#writing #book #fantasy

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imaginativescribbles · 12 years

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Peeking Eyes and Bert

This is a story Rebecca and I came up with in texts. I typed a smiley but I forgot the smile, and it was just two eyes : It turned into this story about a colon and two periods.

Peeking eyes : Bert ..

E- .. It’s Peeking Eyes’ retarded cousin. He wants to peek just like his cousin, but he just doesn't do it right.

His name is Bert ..

His mom wanted Peeking Eyes to take him along on a peeking job.

Bert’s mom knows that Bert will never be able to peek professionally, but she and Peeking Eyes just agreed to do this nice thing for the little scamp (he’s actually only a year younger than Peeking Eyes) so Bert could feel good about himself.

R- Bert is cute. I feel like Bert is highly misunderstood by his peers. They all think he is mentally unstable but really he is just too shy to speak to anyone.

Yes! Bert is an insecure little guy and his family just wants to help.

: C’mon Bert, you can do it!

: Oh Bert.

E- Yes. And secretly Bert just likes seeing the different people and their life styles. And Peeking Eyes is the only one in his family who treats him like a normal person. So they get along very well.

R- Peeking Eyes feels very protective of Bert, especially when he gets picked on.

E- Bert’s mom doesn’t really let him out of the house that much, so his short time with Peeking Eyes is precious. He actually messes up at peeking on purpose, so his mom thinks he needs to spend more time with his cousin.

R- Peeking Eyes actually thinks Bert is normal, but he too, wants to spend time with Bert, so he puts on an unknowing facade as well. It is a very sad life.

E- Bert’s mother has a terrible secret as well. Peeking Eyes isn’t really Bert’s cousin. He’s Bert’s half -brother.

R- She doesn’t want anyone to find out that she had an affair with Peeking Eyes’ father, thus resulting in Bert. So she pretends that Bert’s father is her brother, but really, the affair continues on, which is why the time between Bert and Peeking Eyes is scarce. She cannot have the boys find out.

E- Bert’s mother (let’s name her Florence) had a sister, Lori. The sisters hadn’t talked to each other in 20 years. Peeking Eyes and Bert don’t know about her. They think Florence just had a brother. One day, Florence received a letter in the mail. It was from Lori. Florence quickly locked it in her home office desk drawer. Bert noticed her unusual display of unease and paranoia. He knew that whatever that small letter in the mail was, it was containing a big secret.

R- Bert was getting increasingly worried. So he did something he never ever does. He spoke to Peeking Eyes. Out loud. Peeking Eyes was so shocked that Bert spoke that he knew it must be serious. The boys made a plan to investigate.

E- Peeking Eyes and Bert both had special skills. Peeking Eyes, being a professional peeker, and Bert, who understood the minds of people, and their movements and actions. Together they could come up with a plan to get the letter.

R- So they decided to meet in the middle of the night so their parents wouldn’t find out. Their chosen meeting place was just outside of Peeking Eye’s house. Peeking Eyes knew that his mother never locked the window to her study, which contained the desk and letter, so the boys we just going to climb in through the window. Plan is a go.

E- They get in through the window, and tiptoe to the desk. They knew the drawer was locked. Peeking Eyes knows how to pick locks, so he sets to work on it. Bert keeps a watchful eye on the window. 45 seconds later, Peeking Eyes finally got the drawer open. They peered inside the drawer. All they found were pens, pencils, and notepads. Peeking Eyes figured Florence must have hidden the letter elsewhere! But Bert thought it just wasn’t right. Why would she lock a drawer that has just office supplies? He tapped the bottom of the drawer, and his suspicions were proved. The sound resonated with a hollow noise. It was a false bottom. Not only did they find the letter, but DNA tests and more letters from this strange woman.

R- The two exchanged a worried glance. What was going on? They decided to take the stuff up to Peeking Eye’s room to examine it. They carefully tiptoe up the stairs, into his room, and lock the door. Peeking Eye’s handed the letters to Bert who began to read them out loud…

E- Dear Florence,

How y’all doin’ gurl? Ugh, it has been way too long. Twenty years? Gurrl we sistahs got to keep in contact. I hurrd you gots knocked up! Twice! By the same man! I gots nephews! I like the name Bert, but Peeking Eyes? Tell me what you been smoking cause I gots ta get me somma dat! Anyways, love and kissus from yo sistahs.

R- Bert reread the letter twice, trying to decipher the ancient and long lost language it was written in. Peeking Eyes couldn’t believe his ears. Brothers!! He and Bert?! And his mom had a SISTER! The boys are in a state of shock, their lives had been a lie.

E- But they still don’t know that Florence’s “brother” really isn’t her brother. They hear Florence’s car pull up. They scramble to run back downstairs and shove everything back in the drawer. They run back upstairs and pretend to be asleep. 3 minutes later, Florence creeps upstairs to check on the boys. She saw them sleeping soundly and walked back downstairs. She went in her study, and instantly smelled foul play. She hurriedly checked the window. She purposely left the window unlocked because she had a way of detecting if anyone had opened it. She stuck hair on the window and window frame, so if anyone had opened it, she would be able to tell because the hair has moved. She immediately went for the drawer. It was unlocked.

R- Her heart skipped a beat. Was it the boys who snooped? Or was it her husband? Either way, it meant bad news. She decided to tell her “brother” the news before anyone confronted her. They had to come up with a plan of action.

#peekingeyes #bert #story #writing

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imaginativescribbles · 12 years

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Our Batman Fanfic

This is our first post on our writing blog! We made this story randomly when texting each other, and as you can see, it starts out as silly texts and then progressively turns into an actual story. We come up with this right on the spot, no editing has been done to it content wise.

Batman is discovering the batcave :D

He's standing as the bats swarm around him. I imagine him holding his arms up saying, "I.. am.. God!"

Twirling with the bats.

Singing "You are a dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine ohhhhh!"

Batman breaks it down. Right there in the batcave.

And Alfred catches him, and joins in.

And they begin to waltz.

And Batman misses a step, and Alfred goes apeshit on him because he's been teaching him for months and it's a rookie mistake.

Smh. Batman needs to step it up.

And then Robin swoops in from a mission, sees Alfred holding Batman, and he's all, "Did Bruce miss a step in the waltz again?" and shakes his head. Then he says "Watch a pro do it. Alfred would you be a dear?" and he and Alfred began to waltz.

While Batman sulks in the corner, arms crossed, he mutters to himself, “Well I’m better at everything else.”

And Robin and Alfred chuckle as they waltz gallantly across the Batcave. Then the song on Batman's iPod changes to Starships by Nicki Minaj and Robin and Alfred start hoppin’ to the beat while Batman shouts, "Godamnit Robin, why do you always keep adding songs to the BatPod!?"

But secretly Batman loves Nicki Minaj and has to force himself to not sing along.

Because he's Batman and he thinks he has to be cool and mysterious. And Alfred and Robin keep rockin’ to the pumpin’ music.

Batman decides to search for the kitchen in the batcave. All this irritation is making him hungry.

And he finds a plate of Robin's famous Meyer Lemon Cupcakes, but it has a note that says, "Do not touch! These are for the Superhero singles party in the manor." And Batman's all "Psh, I can have a cupcake if I want. I'm Batman." And he takes one.

In his head he is thinking, “I, Batman, am the most badass human on this planet.” He smiles as he munches the delicious treat.

As he munches on the treat, white crumbs spill on his black batsuit. He walks back into the main area of the Batcave where Robin and Alfred are now moshing to Rihanna. Robin looks over at Batman and sees the crumbs upon his suit. Immediately, rage builds up inside him.

Batman sees Robin’s rage, and wonders if he should be worried. Robin is fairly powerful after all. “Nah”, he says to himself. “I can take him”.

Instead of going over to Batman upfront, Robin plans to humiliate him, to teach him a lesson. Get him when he least expects it. And he's going to do it tonight, during the superhero singles party.

To Batman’s surprise, Robin’s face quickly flicks back to a smile, and he returns moshing to the now playing Chris Brown. “Huh. Maybe he didn’t notice after all”, thinks Batman as he hastily brushes the crumbs off his suit. “Score one Batman, zero Robin”, he chuckles.

He goes up to the manor to prepare for the party. Robin decides to tell Alfred about his plan. Alfred thinks it's genius. They giggle gleefully as they work out the details of the plan.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Batman examines his closet. Too casual, too dressy, too glitzy. He rolls his eyes. “I can never find anything to wear!” he huffs to himself. After sifting through some more clothes, he finds it. The perfect cape with the perfect pink logo. Gleefully, he scurries into the bathroom to change.

That cape was a special part of Robin's plan. He knew Batman would choose that cape so while Batman was in the shower, he switched it out with an exact copy that he added a little "surprise" to.

After vigorously applying layer after layer of foundation, Batman strolled out of his room with a bit of a spring in his step. At the bottom of the stairs he spots Robin cross the room and gives him a hearty wave.

Robin waves back, his outward appearance looking welcoming, but inwardly he is laughing evilly. His plan will come to fruition in mere minutes, when Batman is at the center of the room greeting everyone. He wants everyone to see his embarrassment.

Batman begins to mingle with the crowd. In the midst of his nice chat with the Black Widow about chicken soufflé recipes, he sees Alfred beckoning to him from the center of the room. “What could he possibly want?” He quickly excuses himself and winds his way over.

Slowly Batman pushes his way through the crowd towards Alfred. When he gets about 3/4 of the way there, he sees Alfred turn and walk away. He picks up speed and shouts, trying to get Alfred's attention. Slowly he feels something weird with his outfit. Threads start unraveling. His clothes fall apart, leaving him in nothing but his mask and underwear which turn out to be pink briefs that say "I <3 Superman" on the butt, and on the crotch there is a huge heart with the Superman insignia on it.

Quickly, face flushed, Batman tries in vain to cover himself. But it’s too late. The room has already noticed, and is roaring. Mind whirling, Batman raced back up the stairs to his room, leaving the party in a complete uproar. Robin smiles. Mission accomplished.

Alfred walks up to Robin smiling. Robin holds out his fist for a fist bump. Alfred stairs at it, confused, and he grabs the fist with a puzzled look on his face.

Robin shakes his head and returns to the party. Meanwhile, Batman is up in his room, engulfed by his batrobe, rocking slowly back and forth on his bed. “Did that really just happen?”

Downstairs, everyone is talking about what just happened. Superman is at the party, and everyone is making snarky comments at him, like “looks like you’ve got a number one fan,” and “Superman’s not gonna be single for long”.

Superman laughs right along with them, but secretly, he feels bad for Batman. What a traumatizing experience.

Robin and Alfred notice the hubbub their prank has caused. They feel they may have gone a little too far. Superman wants to go and check on Batman. But he wasn’t to wait until the end of the party so no one notices he goes upstairs.

As the crowd slowly being to disperse, Robin notices a figure disappear up the stairs. Curious and driven by a slight guilt, he follows silently.

Superman walks into Batman’s bedroom and sees Batman in his robe, crouched in the fetal position on his bed, sobbing quietly. Superman says, “Batman?” Batman looks up in utter terror. “No, please, it’s okay. What happened to you was awful. I’m really sorry it happened. This whole thing will blow over next week, I promise. Something else will happen to another super and it will be the hilarious gossip. I never knew you liked me so much….” Batman slowly got into a sitting position. Through choked sobs, he said, “It’s not like that… I … I bought them as a joke”.

“Shhh it’s alright”, Superman said. “I have a confession. I… I don’t know how to say this but… I guess I’ll show you...” He proceeded to take off his pants. He was wearing neon yellow briefs, on the crotch was a heart with the Batman insignia, and as he turned round, Batman read on the butt, “I <3 Batman”.

Batman looked up at Superman, lost for words. Superman gave him a quick hug and stood up. “All right, let’s get you in some normal clothes and off to bed”. He smiled and held out his hand, and Batman managed a small smile back, and took it, allowing the other superhero to pull him to his feet.

Robin slowly walks ups the stairs. He hears voices. He overhears “those are some nice underwear, Superman.” He walks into the room, and sees Superman and Batman in their underwear. Staring at them in shock, he stutters, “I… I… I’m sorry to interrupt…”

Robin runs out the room, appalled at what he just saw. Behind him he hears booming laugher. It echoes down the stairwell where he meets up with Alfred. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Alfred says.

“Alfred… Batman and Superman… they were… they were… in their underwear… and… Superman… he’s wearing the same underwear as me…”

Alfred looked at Robin incredulously. “Wait a minute. Batman and Superman are upstairs… in their underwear”. Robin nodded slowly. “And the only thing that bugs you is the fact that you and Superman have the same underwear”. Robin nodded again, in a daze. “This is ridiculous”, said Alfred and quickly climbed back up the stairs. “I’m ending this”. Awaking from his shock, Robin shrieked “NO!” and sprinted after Alfred. He could not let him see the underwear.

Alfred runs up the stairs. Robin jumps up and flips around, landing in front of him, blocking his path. Alfred whips out a white glove, extends his hand, and gives Robin a hearty smack across the face. Robin soars across the wide stairs. Alfred runs up the stairs and to the hallway. Robin regains his balance and runs after him. Alfred barges into the room, Robin close behind him shouting “NOOOOOOO!”

Alfred looks at Superman’s underwear. “My goodness… Robin… you’re wearing these same underwear?” Robin looks down in shame “…yes…” Alfred sighs, and slowly pulls his pants down, and shows them his underwear. He is wearing same underwear as well. The four guys in the room stand in silence, all in their underwear. Three of them wearing I heart Batman across their buttocks.

The men stand there in silence for a few seconds before Alfred hastily clears his throat, pulls up his pants, and announces, “There is coffee downstairs if anyone uh, wants some”. He all but sprints out the room. Robin, in a squeaky voice says, “I sure do”. He yanks his pants up and stumbles out the door, leaving Batman and Superman alone.

Batman, his face now the color of a tomato, slowly pulls on a pair of pants. Superman says, “Wohoho, not so fast there, cowboy. We’ve got some unfinished business”. He stalks over to Batman and closes in on him. He leans in, their faces close, Batman’s chest pounding. He stands motionless, waiting. Superman slowly moves his face forward, inches away……. And BOOM! He headbutts Batman, laughs maniacally, and crashes through the bedroom wall, leaving a gaping hole. Robin runs into the room, wondering what the sound was. He sees the ruined room, and Batman sprawled on the floor, his head bleeding. He says, “Damn, I probably shouldn’t have put so much cocaine in the cupcakes”.

The End!

#fanfiction #batman #superman #story #writing

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