This is almost all the dialogue in the church of their promise. When I heard this for the first time, and watched Dean's heated, anguished expressions, I just went to apnoea. What is Sam going to say, after this? Will he understand his brother really loves him above himself, the world, the whole universe?

Dean is saving his beloved and wasted baby brother from the awful trials (which are an awful lie of Metatron), from never-ending pain, and himself from a horrible life-lasting grief which would take him straight to the grave.

I was so relieved when Sam caved and asked: What do I do?

Just lean into big brother, Sam. Let him love you. Remember you love him, too.

I just saw somewhere you recommend writing 300 words a day. I can't imagine how to do that, I will manage 50-100 at most and I will edit endlessly. Do you continuously add to the story without returning to the previous chapters and keep almost everything as it first occurred to you? Is it a matter of practice to become more productive and require less editing? I think I enjoy playing around with details though, is that a bad habit to shed?

Write whatever works for you. I wrote Coraline at 50 words a day because that was the time I had. I wrote American Gods trying for 2,000 words a day (and often failing) because it needed to be a thick book and at 50 words a day I'd still be writing it.

"She's not evil, Dean!"

Sam Winchester Appreciation Week 2024 → Fusions: your culture, field of study, science, space, favourite music/books, interest (dragons), etc, & Sam Winchester

long time ago I promised I'd do dragons so here's one. and I might do more because...they're so cool. and we were so robbed. dragons aren't regular dudes!!! something something dragon riders!au actually the plot of this is very angsty...but so far, it lives only inside my head. maybe i'll expand on it some other time :D

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Sam Winchester Appreciation Week 2024 → Day Two: Favourite Sam Arc / Pre or Post Canon / Home / Liminality

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actually i think dean would have absolutely no idea how to articulate or encompass his feelings for sam. like sam’s known his entire life with complete clarity that he’s in love and that he wants dean in every way etc etc. but i think if u held a gun to dean’s head and demanded he put a name to his feelings for his brother, he literally wouldn’t be able to offer up anything more than “i’m fucked up.”

Honestly one of the interesting things to me about the siren episode is it truly doesn't have to be about sex to be as hard hitting.

Let's say the siren wasn't about sex then, doubtful, but let's go with it. It still is about revealing Dean's deepest desires for a relationship. At Dean's deepest core, his desire is for Sam. Full stop. You can paint that platonic if you'd like, but to state it's about anything other than Sam you'd have to blatantly be ignoring the text itself.

Don't get me wrong, I think the the title of the episode itself "Sex and Violence" truly says almost all there is to say about the implications upon Dean and Sam's relationship, but the thing that a lot of people forget about horror is sometimes, it's genuinely not about sex. People can cross boundary lines that can be just as damaging without actually raising a hand to you. Dean doesn't need to be attracted to his brother, for the horror of the fact that Dean wants his brother more than any other type of relationship or connection to come through.

But like what does that really mean though? It means that Dean's need and desire for Sam goes beyond the simple physical. Dean doesn't want Sam's body, he's not after a fuck, he isn't after "some bitch in a g-string", including Sam in a g-string. Dean wants Sam fully, everything that makes him up.

The horror of it is about the fact that Dean doesn't just want to possess Sam's body, Dean wants to possess and keep Sam himself.

Like think of how much deeper that goes.

But on the flip side, as an asexual person, I hate to break it to people but sometimes, sex is just sex. It's not a be-all-end-all definer of relationships or how they function. Dean wants Sam. Dean wants Sam. Who cares what form it's in, healthy siblings don't want their other siblings. They care about them, they enjoy their company, they have them as an integral part of their life, but they don't statistically want their siblings in the way Dean and Sam have always seemed to want each other.

Sam and Dean again and again show that to them their life itself revolves around the other. They have shown again and again that they will distance themselves from most other people or even reject others around them if it puts them losing the other at risk. Sam and Dean have shown again and again an unhealthy need to possess the other in some way, to control the other in some way, to literally keep the other in some way.

Siblings don't do this. Like, full stop. Unless like Sam and Dean they cross the lines of emotional incest so often they might as well just have a picture of themselves in the dictionary definition.

tbh this is the closest i’ve ever felt genuine in saying this but FAKE FANS

god

no appreciation for horror

and ZERO LITERACY GOD MAYE HAVE GIVEN YOU THE ABILTY TO READ BUT THE DEVIL TOOK AWAY YOUR COMPREHENSION

also don’t go argue it’s LICHERALLY not worth it like just be in shock with me pleas hold my hand

and if you do FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don’t lead em back here

Sam definitely took a photo of the initials before he left for Stamford.

He didn't know why, and for the first 6 months he'd look at it often. If it was 2010 or later, and any other sibling pair on TV it would have been his phone background or something, and that probably would have been enough.

But this is the irrationally erotically codependent Winchester brothers and as time goes on and he doesn't hear from Dean, thinking his Dean agrees with their absentee dad (that Sam should stay gone, that Sam had abandoned their family), he has to do something to make this symbol of home/love/belonging/family/Dean an indelible, permanent part of him. So he goes to a tattoo parlour and asks for Dean's initials. And when he's asked where, he immediately knows he wants it on his hip, somewhere no one's going to see, because this is too personal and sacred for people to know about.

Jess asks of course. Why, who, were you drunk or something? And Sam brushes it off. She jokes about him getting something for her and the rage that boils up in him is only seen on his face but they never discussed it again.

Then when Dean breaks in, and she hears "this is my brother, Dean" she knows, before Sam does, he'll never make it back to her, not in the ways that matter, because it isn't her initials tattooed on his hip.

Can you guys watch him for me? I need to run to the store real quick I’ll be right back

*gives him matches*

It's ok, he asked nicely

Can you guys watch him for me? I need to run to the store real quick I’ll be right back

the difference between sam and dean is that in the phrase “incestuous romantic relationship” sam cringes at incestuous and dean cringes at romantic.

i think he’d be maybe a little weirded out but not that embarrassed if he just. wanted to fuck his brother. like… have you seen his brother? who doesn’t wanna fuck him.

no.. dean’s embarrassed because the thought of his brother not wanting to fuck him makes his heart actually hurt, which he thought was just an overdramatic romcom line. because if he fucked his brother and his brother wanted to keep it casual, it would destroy him.

he doesn’t just want to fuck his brother. he wants to sleep next to him and kiss him and play with his stupid hair and grow old with him and die in his arms.

dean doesn’t wanna fuck his brother. he wants to make love to his brother. and that makes his skin crawl.

unfriendly reminder that this is what sam and dean looked like when sam left for stanford

sweater weather

i think sam is cute when he breathes

this is a frame of something i started back in november. but i'm probably never gonna finish it so. out of context sastiel be upon ye

You need three words to spell "team free will", and at least three people on it if you don't want a piece to be missing!! this is Sam.

Also in this series: Dean Castiel (jack: in progress!!)

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Okay, look. Yesterday was Tuesday, right? But today is Tuesday too.

like it is--one of thee wildest parts to me is that sam wasn't... I mean no okay he was suicidal. but he wasn't like wed to the concept of his own immediate death. he was probably clinically depressed and he was extremely willing and ready to die in order to prevent future harm to others, but his expressed wish wasn't just To Die as an end in itself and he literally out loud twice agrees that no okay he'll live then. (I think this is muddied later by the way dean and sam both talk about these moments like dean forced sam to live, but genuinely onscreen he didn't. he asked and sam said okay. dean's requests have an outsize impact on sam but dean didn't actually prevent sam, in the moments he was just verbally asking, from dying. right up until he does force sam into something.)

so i mean. what happens onscreen isn't 'dean prevents sam from committing suicide and that's a problem.' it's 'dean prevents sam from dying in the line of duty, which is fine, and then when sam almost dies anyway dean reviews sam's dnr form which says "okay you can bring me back except not if you have to do it with this one drug. i've tried that family of drugs before and it causes me physical and mental anguish so severe it's not a circumstance I, a rational adult person, am willing to live in. so in THAT case I'd rather not be rescuscitated." and dean, who very specifically can talk to sam because that is how he accomplishes this entire thing, tells the man in a lab coat he found in an alley "ok i'm going to distract him and you pump his veins full of this stuff. we're not going to ask him whether he feels differently now or is willing to try it this one time. he just told me he wants to live so maybe he would budge but we're not consulting him on this. I WILL be holding him down." and then they both kept doing that for months despite the fact that they could at any point have asked sam hey, you seem loads better, do you think you'd be down to try this lifesaving drug now or is that still a hard no?" and that is. in fact. a problem.'