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hopelesspurp · 6 years
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House with a Bronzed Metallic Exterior
© Nikolas Koenig /
  Marc Lins Photo
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hopelesspurp · 6 years
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Ever wanted someone to be with you from dawn, until dusk?
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hopelesspurp · 6 years
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Hello @therealjacksepticeye !
This is how I think you handle fame. This is your difference.  Credits to this talented digital artist: @valkyreskye ​! Only hand drawing and the idea is mine.
This is going to be a long ass writing about this comic-art and Jack.
Okumaya devam et
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hopelesspurp · 6 years
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Hey, hope you like this chapter! This includes more details from a real story. Heart breaking one. Also, listen to this song when it’s mentioned in the fiction. Enjoy~
Heaven Upside Down | Chapter 3
Though I was living alone, I never liked quietness. It always made me feel like something bad have happened. But this quietness was different. It was full with serenity. It was calm. But not like silence before the storm, more like bad times were gone. More like suffering has ended.
I lifted my head up and looked to the black board, markers, eraser… Everything was dusty, untouched for months, maybe years. The sun was going down and lighting the classroom with last light of the day.
Classroom. I was in my high school, sitting at the same desk.
With Will.
I was holding his hand. No words needed, nothing needed when there’s two of us alone. I turned my eyes to his, to his hazel eyes so I can just feel that feel, so I can feel all complete, all done. All ready to everything.
A question in the back of my head started to come out slowly. I tried to push it away, so I can enjoy this moment for a bit more. Just a bit more. Please.
Please.
No.
How?
I don’t want to know!
But how did you end up here?
I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!
My hands started to shaking as I started questioning. I could feel that my world was falling apart. I was still looking into his eyes, but my eyes wasn’t shining with happiness now, they were desperate.
“Is everything alright, Mercy?” Said Will, with a little concern in his voice.
“Will, how did we end up in here?” My voice was full with panic.
He held his breath, looked at me and waited to take my question back but I was stupid, and stubborn.
He sighed sadly and looked to the ground.
“Answer me!” I stood up fast and pushed the desk away.
“Mercy…” He tried to hold my hands. I took my hands away.
“How did we end up in here, Will? How did she let me be with you?” Now I was crying.
He stood still. He said nothing. He didn’t look at my eyes.
I passed him and got out of the classroom. I was going home. I knew who was gonna answer me.
“Mercy, wait!”
Home was close to school, I lost my time and found myself in front of the door. Without Will. He didn’t have the courage to follow me.
I unlocked the door with shaky hands, with the key I got from under the doormat.
I furiously went to the living room to see if anybody was in, and I saw mom. Sleeping on the couch.
She didn’t wake up to noises, neither to my calls. So I started to shake her and ask how did she let me. She was saying something but half awake, I couldn’t understand what she was saying and I started to cry more and shake her more, more…
I knew that this was just a dream.
Dream.
I let her. I stood up and cried. Then I heard a knock from the window.
It was Will. He was looking with acceptance. Acceptance of the loss.
I opened the window for him. He climbed in and hugged me.
“You’re a dream, Will. It’s just a dream…” I cried on his shoulder.
“I know. I’m sorry.” Acceptance.
“I don’t want to wake up…” I held him a bit more tight as he started to slip over my arms. Everything slipped over my arms.
I woke up.
————
I opened my eyes slowly. They were wet. My pillow too.
A moment of realization and I was crying again. But this time, I was so loud. As loud as I want.
I got out of my bed and lay down on the hard ground. Held my knees between my arms.
It wasn’t my first time that I was torturing myself with my principles. Yes, I was old enough to decide who to see, but if they were involved with something bad about my life, and if my mother said she won’t talk to me ever again if I see them, that meant that I wasn’t gonna see them. End of discussion.
But what if…
I punched the ground hard. Every time I started to think about possibilities I punched the ground harder. Every time I wondered what he was doing I punched harder. Every time I wished that the dream was real I screamed louder.
I stopped.
I thought I heard a noise.
Like a door slamming.
I tried to focus on something like footsteps but didn’t hear anything.
Maybe enough torturing. I should probably have looked at the time and do my daily stuff.
I got up and walked to the door.
Someone grabbed me from my back and dragged me to couch as I screamed and tried to take hands away-
I couldn’t balance and fell to the couch with a weird position. A hand held my wrists to stop me moving. I couldn’t see the face because it was behind me still.
I felt something cold on my stomach. I looked down and saw the knife, a white hand was holding it against my tummy.
Then I looked up and see his face upside down.
Anti.
“Ŷ̴̪̇̎ô̵̟̘̱ű̶̪̎̒̎̿̚̕ ̵̡͚̭̘̺͈͕͋͘w̵̭̪̟̺̥̬̉̎ͅe̷̪͍͖̩̦͑̓͜'̸̛̘̩̯͕̭̀͗͊́̋̈͝ř̷̹̤͕̪̲̿̀͛e̴̤̲̮̼̍́͐̈́̂͆̚ ̸̧̯̲̈́ͅş̶͔͙̥̔͗̓o̸̱͇̗̒̓̊̈͜͝͝ ̵̯͕̣̣̫̀̎̊͆̚l̴̢̨̦̆̈́̍͐̓̏̽̊ò̷̠͊̚͝͠ư̸̧͎̭̘̤̗̒́͑̕d̵͖͈̺̀͐.”
I looked at him angrily.
“What are you waiting for then? Do it!” I yelled. He didn’t expect this I suppose.
“COME ON! HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE KNIFE JUST TO SHOW OFF?”
Once he overcame shock, he started to laugh.
“HahaḨ̴̠͇̭̻͝ͅà̴̺͕̞͚̽̎̆͑̇͐̈́̕͠h̸̺̥̠̙̤̖̲͓̥̏̔̽̍͆̾͜a̷̢͋̇h̵͎̯̮̖̠͍̺̖̬̝͐͑̈͌̂̈̒̊͐͝a̴̡̢̧̬͎̫̯̼̣̲̐͆̑͛̃̀̔̚͘͝H̵̯̬̳̪̟̳͍̹͉̤̐͐̊͌͘À̸̩̪̰̱̖͉̫̖̃͛̿̓͂̇H̴̤̤̜̠͈͓̓͗̾A̷̡̅̐͝H̶̺͔͔̀̎͆͗͝À̶̮͇̞̪̳̦͐́̌͐̊̋͘Ḩ̵̨̙̦͙͉̭̯̓͛̒͗̽̔̚͜Ą̴̢̗̯͕͈͒̄͑̑̏̒̇̚!!”
I looked at the knife, he wasn’t holding it tightly now. He wasn’t gonna cut me.
I started to cry quietly. I didn’t care if he’s still there, laughing or doing whatever the fuck he wants to me. I was feeling bad and I had no solution. So I had every right to cry more.
“Why are you crying? Suddenly changed your mind?”
“What? No. Do whatever you want. I’m crying for another reason.”
“Oh yeah. Why did you wake me up with your loud ass crying?”
“Because I saw a bad dream.” I started to tell though he didn’t ask. I didn’t know why was I telling this to him either. But I started from my high school years. I started from him and I told and I told… Finally I started to tell about my dream but at some point I started to sing Black by Pearl Jam instead. I started form the end, where Ed starts to sing more with pain:
I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life
I know you’ll be a star, in somebody else’s sky,
But why, why, why can’t be,
Why can’t be mine?
He listened. I was surprised too but he listened. I sang the whole song. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t look at to my face. He looked away.
My voice began to get low and low until it sounded like a whisper. I stopped.
He waited for, like a second or two, then took his knife, stood up and then left.
I was alone again.
Hey!
The dream part is from a real story. Can you imagine getting comforted by someone from your dream because you realised that it was a dream? Pretty fucked up, right?
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hopelesspurp · 6 years
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Bad news.
Sorry, I won't be writing for a while because I'm seriously ill. Gotta focus on healing quickly!
Meanwhile, if you read the first 2 chapters, I'll be very happy if you share your thoughts over it.
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hopelesspurp · 6 years
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Heaven Upside Down | Chapter 2
It wasn’t hard to find the house while laughter-scream continued as deep breaths with joy. I walked. There was light in only one window at the first floor. Curtains were covering what’s happening inside.
I reached the door and banged angrily. Laughter became louder. I made my anger fill inside me, so I can satisfy it with at least someone deserves.
“WHY THE FUCK-”
“The door is open! AhahahaHAHAHAA! Let yourself in!”
What? Wow. I didn’t expect this. Why was he letting me in? I was just gonna scare him with calling cops and make him shut up.
House was nicely decorated with dark coloured, mostly wooden furniture. Everywhere was looking decent enough to be a lawyer’s house, not a psychopath’s. I found out that which room the voice was coming from but I couldn’t help myself see small details like untouched dusty areas like nobody was living here.
The voice was coming from kitchen. I saw the shadow on the ground as I came closer. My anger left its place to my curiosity. What was happening?
I came in, the kitchen door was already open as well.
“What the hell?” I said, disgusted.
He laughed a bit more and took deep breaths before making eye contact. He was leaning on kitchen counter, holding a knife against his bleeding right wrist.
“Wait, wait. It’s not like how it seems.” He stopped to laugh a bit more, but this time it was slow and quiet like he was exhausted.
“I didn’t make it. It was an accident.” He said with a still smiling face. There was a little blood puddle under his arm, and pieces of a porcelain plate. His face wasn’t like he was feeling pain. He was more likely having fun. His green-blue eyes were shining, fitting with his green hair.
I got that the plate fell and broke and somehow cut his wrist vertically. That wasn’t a long cut, he wasn’t gonna die unless he keep pushing the knife against the cut.
Figuring all of these things took my 5 seconds, as he was looking to me, my hair, my face, my pyjamas.
I knew that look. I knew that joy and I knew seeing your reflection from sweet, dense, shiny red blood. 
“Then stop playing with the knife. You’ll make the cut worse.”
My eyes connected with the towel, hanging on the wall next to sink.
“Why would I stop while I̸̻̲̻͌̽̍'̸̯̙̩͐̓͑m̷̩̱̝͝ ̸̧̯̩̋̈̂h̸̦̞͌a̵̯̣̋́v̵̿͐ͅỉ̴̘͛͝ņ̴̯͉͗̑͗ģ̶̀̉͑ ̷͍̅f̵̯̋̂̈ǔ̵͓̹n̸̞̂͝ ̴͉͎͗͋͆h̵͈̱̗̒̄ë̵̳́̋͒͜r̸̨͔͑̀ẽ̵͚?̶̡̿” His voice sounded like it was coming from a broken radio. His eyes turned to black.
Holy shit. What the fuck was happening? I couldn’t help with my heart beating like crazy. Not because of fear. Because of excitement.
But health issues comes first. Yes, I’m crazy.
I took the towel and came near him like I don’t care. He could stab me easily with that knife and I wouldn’t even be able say something. 
I moved fast so he couldn’t see my hands shaking.
I was holding the towel but he was still holding the knife while he was watching me with normal eyes this time. I relaxed a bit.
I took the knife from his other hand quickly and made him hold the towel against his wrist. Then slapped him in the face. 
“Ow! W̴̛̺̣̫͋͋̃͛̄̈́̕͜͜h̵̪̮̮̉̉̈ý̶̥͑̈́͒̔͋́ ̵̢̡̱͕̖̯͍̋͐̊̌͝͠͝d̶̨̯͇̥͂͜î̸̢̼̻͚̻̄̌̃́́̆̚d̷̡̡̛̬̥͔̥̙̀͛ ̸͈̼͓͉͍́y̴̢͓̩̔͜ö̷̢̲̪̹͓͊̄͛̊u̸̢͓̬̼̗͊̌̾̈́̅͝ ̵̧̢̡͈̽͂̓̿̚͘͝d̶̰͓̖̱̠͛̾̈̂̇͝͠ǫ̷̢̮̠͉̟̮̈́͊ ̸͔͙̥̎̒͑̕t̶̝͉̦͍̣̔̓̿͒̓h̶̢͛̕a̴̯͂̏͂͑̉͆͠t̷̤͙̫̣̰͎͉̽͒̈́͑͆͗͘ͅ?̷̧̟̞̝͔̳͌́̔͛͗!̸̗̱̫̍̓̂͑͆͊̚͝” Fun disappeared from his voice and face and left its place to anger. His black eyes were fully open again.
After one second, I took my eyes from his, so he wouldn’t be able to see I’m scared.
I couldn’t help guessing that he was gonna kill me now, but he didn’t move. His arm was still on the counter, bleeding. He was definitely gonna kill me sometime.
“I’m doing what mama did to me once.” I was actually in shock because I didn’t stutter while saying that. I was calm and under control. Just like the doctor I’ll be.
“Hold it still and press.” Oh, and I was asking myself why I wanted to come in. The answer was my medic instincts. At least I hoped this way.
He could recover without stitches. I grabbed his arm. “Hold your arm like this.” I placed his arm above from his heart level like I’ve been taught. He was quiet now, I guess, due to exhaustion. Because he had the look of a hyperactive boy that never shuts up.
I couldn’t hep noticing, his arm was cold. Losing blood would do that but I had the feel that he was always cold like this.
“So you have cut yourself too?” Now he was definitely having fun. But I was not gonna let him have fun over me. I just said that because I don’t care what I’m saying. He wasn’t important to me.
“What’s your name, Joker?”
He smiled. “My name is Jack. But people like to call me Anti.”
“Alright, Anti. I guess you know how to use bandage?”
“Oh, why doesn’t my lovely doctor do that for me?”
“Because I will go to sleep.” I turned my back to him, walking to the kitchen door without a word. I could imagine his surprised face after finishing a conversation this sharp. Now I was the one who’s having fun.
“Hey. HEY! What’s your name?” Sounded annoyed.
I didn’t stop walking. I didn’t turn my face to him.
“Mercy, though I don't have any."
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hopelesspurp · 6 years
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Heaven Upside Down | Chapter 1
Hello. This is an Anti x Girl fanfic. Hope you enjoy!
I remember. How can I forget? 4th grade. You, and me. You were the brave one.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Can I sit next to you?”
“Sure.”
You cared about me all along.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning.”
“You weren’t at school yesterday, is everything alright?”
“I was a little sick. That’s all. Don’t worry.”
I never talked much. But it was never a problem for you.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“…are you sure?”
“No.”
Time flew away as we were at 7th grade then.
“Wanna hang out at my house after school?”
“What are we gonna do?”
“Horror movies?”
“Horror movies.”
Last year at school wasn’t our last year. We knew it.
“Hey, just saw your call. Anything happened?”
“Hey, meet me at the park at 1 pm tomorrow."
“But graduation is tomorrow?”
“Exactly.”
Of course, things got worse with my life. It was my fault.
“Hey, I don’t understand you. Calm down!”
“She will never let me out again, Will!”
“Can’t be that serious! It was just a mistake. Wait, does she know that I covered you?”
“She knows everything.”
My fault.
“Hey! You okay? Where have you been? You missed school for an entire week! Your mom didn’t even let you go to school?”
“She didn’t. Will, she will take me from here. I’ll be transferred to another school next semester.”
“So we have 2 days?”
“Yes. 2 days.”
My fault.
“What are you doing, Will?”
“I’m staring at you.”
“Why are you staring at me during class too?”
“I don’t want to miss a second.”
My fault.
“Sorry.”
“Sorry.”
“Goodbye, Will.”
“Goodbye, Mercy.”
He held my hand that day.
I remember. How can I forget?
MY FAULT!
——————
First year of college. I kinda had that anxiety after what I did at my first year in high school. That anxiety didn’t allow me to be social. I always feared that I may lose my control again, so I had no friends for 3 months. Of course somebody tried to talk to me and I let them. Some of them kept talking with me but not because they felt warmth against me, no, because they were curious about me.
Now that I was in a different city, have a house rented near the campus, I was finally free. Even I, myself, was believing that I deserved to be free after 4 years of grounding. No pc, no tv, no internet, no phone. I was just allowed to read books and study to entertain myself. I gained back the trust of my mother, step by step. At the end of the 3rd year I was even allowed to listen to music from my old Mp3 player.
This grounding made me got accepted by one of the best colleges in my country as a premedic. Best part of this? Studying with cadavers, blood and cuts.
After the class dismissed, I stood up and got my bag. Put the earphones and started to listen Muse -Madness.
I guess somebody said goodbye to me but I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t look back and got out of the building.
I walked the same way I was walking almost everyday, unconsciously as Matthew Bellamy screams that he needs my love.
I unlocked the door and put my bag and coat on the couch. I realized how tired I was because of 3 hours long classes I had today. Being pre-med wasn’t easy.
At some point, I was on the couch with my stuff, fell asleep.
I woke up to a crazy laughter that was slightly turning into screaming as it interrupted my nightmare. I didn’t lose a second, the laughter-scream was coming from a house maybe 2 houses next to mine.
I didn’t know what was making me go to there, I only felt it. I put my shoes on, didn’t even take my phone but my keys and got out from the house.
On my way to the screaming-boy, yes my brain was working fully functional a little after a nightmare I was having repeatedly, I got that it’s a young man. But who was exactly giving me the right to break into his house and see what’s happening?
Oh, yes. Myself.
____
I have to thank @antidarkimagines for giving me encouragement. Loves from me to you, Greer! :*
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