This makes me so sad and also I'm trying to remember if any of the Discworld books dealt with late stage capitalism

CASSANUNDA THE DWARF

NOT Cassanova

Cassanunda

Not Cassan-OVER

But Cassan-UNDER

Cuz he's a DWARF

Joe: Okay, so say you're chilling at home and you hear a knock at the front door. You're not expecting any visitors or packages or food deliveries. You go to open the door. Which would you be more surprised to see, a walrus or a fairy? Sonny, immediately: Walrus Joe: I like the zero hesitation answer. Explain. Sonny: Because I don't live in a part of the world where walruses exist. Their natural habitat is hundreds of thousands of miles from my house. We don't know for sure if fairies exist or not, but I'm open-minded, so I don't discount it as a possibility. If I found a fairy at my door, sure, I'd be surprised, but I could very quickly write it off and say, "Okay, so now I know that fairies exist" and move on. If there was a walrus at my door, though, I would be fully shocked, because that means that an entire walrus swam hundreds of miles out of its natural habitat, came up on land, flopped several hundred miles inland to my town, came up specifically to my house, and slapped its big old flipper against my front door. I would have so many fucking questions in that situation. Joe: Solid logic, can't argue with it. Anybody else? Bess: What if it was a fairy that had been cursed by another fairy to be in walrus form and was looking for help to break the curse? Nancy: Or what if a fairy just dropped a walrus on your doorstep specifically to confuse you for its own amusement? George: That's true, fairies are notorious for the fact that they like to fuck with humans for fun Joe: Those are also very valid questions that I had not considered as options Henry, Ned, & Frank: Ned: I mean, Sonny does make a good point, I can't really say I disagree with any of what he said Henry: Literally what the fuck is wrong with all of you, why are you like this Frank, visibly disappointed: I can't believe one of you is my brother

Listen I could throw quotes from Monstrous Regiment at you all day because it's a bloody brilliant book but hands down my favourite scene in the entire book the one that just cracks me up every single time is and always will be the moment when they're discussing infiltrating the keep and Blouse goes 'What makes you think you could pass as a woman, Perks?' and the squad stands there listening to him, stunned like a group of people who've just been hit in the face with a Great Big Fish and are trying to puzzle out What The Actual Fuck Just Happened while Sergeant Jackrum spends the entire rest of the conversation doubled over in the background nearly asphyxiating himself from laughing like this is the funniest fucking thing anyone has ever said in his vicinity in his entire life because it is and Blouse stays completely oblivious to any of this.

he's a business

My new favorite quote:

"THE POLICE SHALL RECIEVE NO SANDWICHES!"

—Nero Wolfe

I've reached the point in my journey through All the Agatha Christie Audiobooks where I need a break, so I'm listening to the first Nero Wolfe novel instead - I've read it before, but it's been a while.

I had forgotten exactly how much of Archie's narration is "Let me minutely describe Wolfe's physical appearance and presence and the way he moves. No really, it's necessary for the story that I talk extensively about his body all the time. And also his microexpressions, which I am constantly extremely tuned into. Yes, especially the movement of his lips. That's very important. No one else notices that like I do, because I know him better than anyone and I spend a lot of time staring at him, which is incredibly normal. I'm going to be really sarcastic about all of this so that I can pretend it's not important to me. (It's very important to me.) Anyway, gotta go, he's instructed me to do something so it's time to show off so he can tell me I did a good job."

ARCHIE. It is chapter one. Oh my god, rein it in a little.

Nero Wolfe: May I sit down?

Everyone in the house he just crashed: NO!!

Nero Wolfe: I must overrule you.

My new favorite quote:

"THE POLICE SHALL RECIEVE NO SANDWICHES!"

—Nero Wolfe

Okay, but seriously, I never got the ship, but I just read the 3 books that have Zeck as the villain (And Be A Villain, The Second Confession, In The Best Families) and for some reason, I COMPLETELY see it now! Because Archie thinks that the sight of Wolfe in his yellow pajamas is dazzling, and Wolfe doesn't want to put Archie in danger, and they both get so grumpy when they can't live together!

(Also in parentheses, Fritz gets so worried when Wolfe leaves and is like what's he going to eat if I don't cook for him? He'll starve!)

I realize that several of you have probably told me over the last twenty or so years but also HOLY GOD WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME HOW GAY ARCHIE GOODWIN IS FOR NERO WOLFE LIKE DANG SON OKAY I GET IT YOU ONLY GET EXCITED WHEN YOU WATCH HIM DO THAT THING WITH HIS MOUTH AND YOU ARE THRILLED TO DOLL UP IN THE DRESSING GOWN HE BOUGHT YOU (AND YET YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH HIM BECAUSE HE HATES TO BE TOUCHED BUT YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM IF HE ONLY TOLD YOU TO) I GET IT I HAVE CRACKED YOUR CODE

I figured out how to make Nero Wolfe gifs

Hehehehehehe

Nero Wolfe should be doing numbers on this site. Where is the Nero Wolfe fandom

I think a funny thing to do would be to just have baseball in your fantasy setting. Completely unchanged if you'd like.

I cannot be stopped.

The iconic 90 Degrees photo in all its glory- photo credit to the one and only Nancy Zamit

Zukka is a ship that I'm ultimately indifferent to but its existence gives me more glee than any other ship. As someone who obnoxiously spent the majority of my pre-teen years going to forum war for Kataang against Zutara, and watching as that war went on strong for years after I'd left my station, the rise of Zukka basically felt like this

"After ten long years the fight shows no sign of stopping. Kataang is once again bringing its ultimate attack of canon-compliance, while Zutara has released another essay on how it better suits the show's themes of balance- wait. What's this? Why it's-it's- IT'S ZUKKA WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!!"