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headcansxfanfictions · 7 hours

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The way Illumi sounds like he is talking to himself as much as to Killua. You know the same things were drilled into Illumi’s head as a kid. And he repeats these things to Killua like an anxious older sibling, believing he is looking out for and caring for Killua.

“You’re a puppet of darkness, without passion. You don’t want or wish for anything.”

“As one who lives in the shadows, you can only feel pleasure when people die. /That’s how Dad and I raised you/.”

“Tell me… What is it you want? Hm, Is there something wrong? Huh… There’s nothing you really want, is there…?”

“You’ll never be able to make friends.”

“Your first concern when you meet someone is whether you should kill them. That’s how you were trained.”

“You just don’t know how to classify him because he’s too dazzling for your eyes.”

“You don’t actually want to become friends with him. If you stay with him, you’ll end up wanting to kill him one day.”

“You’ll get the urge to see if you can kill him or not...“

“...Because you have the soul of a killer.”

(The End)

#hxh #illumi #hisoillu #the zoldyck family #hunter x hunter #illumi zoldyck #headcanon #hisoka morow #killua zoldyck #hisoka #killua #zoldyck abuse

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headcansxfanfictions · 8 hours

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Hisoka & Illumi Drunk Fic PART #3

TW: SA❗️⚠️non-consensual sexual contact ⚠️

AN: Nothing sexually graphic though. This will be posted on my AO3 with the previous chapters.

At some point the Hisoka realized that housekeeping would be by soon and they should dip before they are found with a dead body in the bathroom. An hour of travel later the pair are stumbling into Hisoka’s rather luxurious apartment at the top of Heaven’s arena. Being a floor master has its perks.

Somewhere along the lines Illumi went from drinking only for the game, to nursing a bottle of wine like a 40 year old going through a divorce. Hisoka had sobered up quite a lot by now but Illumi was waisted. So Hisoka stumbled towards his bedroom, half carrying an ill looking Illumi. Illumi had insisted on walking even tho it would have been easier for Hisoka to just full on cary him. Illumi tipped the last of the bottle down his throat before dropping the empty bottle unceremoniously on the carpet of Hisoka’s bedroom.

“Tsk Illumi your gonna stain my rug,” Hisoka shoves Illumi onto his light pink bed spread.

“Nggh,” is all Illumi can say. His brain feels like mush and his parent’s words about never letting down your guard are ringing in his ears. But for the first time In forever he ignores those voices. Its so cozy here and the mush of his brain feels fuzzy and warm. Drunken thoughts float through his mind and they aren’t exactly happy thoughts. Though he feels cozy and warm he also feels a pain of sorrow in his chest. For the first time in a long time Illumi lets his guard down. Its scares Illumi to know how defenseless he is right now but he can’t find the energy to care.

Illumi looks so pretty. Flawless black hair draped across the bed. Deep dark eyes framed with beautiful lashes. Lips parted and dainty. Illumi is a beauty and Hisoka wants him all for himself.

Illumi forgets where he is as increasingly emotional thoughts swirling in his mind. He isn’t really there, he is in his own world away from anyone else.

Suddenly Hisoka is ontop, and Illumi can’t move. Lips and teeth attacking Illumi’s neck. Hands are fumbling at his hips, trying to slip beneath his shirt. Hips grinding into his thigh. And Illumi can’t move. His head is spinning trying to understand the situation. Is this something bad? Does Illumi need to protect himself? Why is he hesitating to attack Hisoka? Hisoka isn’t hurting him. But then why is Illumi panicking? Why does he want to scream? Why can’t he make a sound? Why does this feel so wrong? Why is it that for the first time in years, Illumi feels tears welling in his eyes.

Hisoka has thrown caution to the wind and decided to go for what he wants. If Illumi really doesn’t want this, he is strong enough to stop it, Hisoka reasons.

Illumi has been completely unresponsive. After a few minutes of making out with Illumi’s limp body Hisoka gets annoyed, he’s never been one for pillow princesses. Hisoka lifts off Illumi to see his face, intending to scold the pretty man for being such a lousy toy. But it is in that moment that Hisoka realizes something is very wrong. Illumi’s is motionless, dead eyes wide and unfocused, lips limply parted in a silent scream. Illumi’s whole déminer is wrong. But what scares Hisoka most are the tears that have started flowing down Illumi’s temples.

“Illumi?”, Hisoka asks hesitantly. Oh fuck, he had underestimated how defenseless Illumi had been. It was clear Illumi hadn’t enjoyed any of that. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It takes a moment for Illumi to realises that Hisoka’s weight is no longer pinning him down. His vision had gone dark sometime in the past few minutes and is coming back, slowly, fuzzy. Illumi lays motionless trying to process what the fuck just happened.

“H-Hisoka?” Illumi stutters. “Whats happening.” Dirty, Illumi feels dirty.

“Hisoka, Hisoka”, Illumi slurs. He can still feel the ghost of Hisoka’s invasions.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here Illumi, its just me.” Hisoka breaths a sigh of relief. To soon.

“You are strange Hisoka… you have sex just to feel good.” And with that Illumi moves for the first time. Tears streaming, expression unreadable, he curls up on his side hiding his now exposed chest, and promptly falls asleep.

“Fuck” Hisoka groans. He knows he messed up really fucking bad and he knows he hurt Illumi. What scares him most is the innocence in Illumi’s words. They didn’t sound like the words of a grown man, drunk or otherwise.

Hisoka hopes Illumi was too drunk to remember.

That night Illumi learns that there is a type of torture he was not trained to cope with.

And Hisoka learned that a lack of ‘No’ doesn’t mean a ‘Yes’.

AN PLEASE READ: Hisoka reasons that Illumi would have been able to stop him. This is a dangerous way to think. Research shows many Sexual Assaults happen with the victim completely silent and/or showing no signs of a fight. This is especially true with neurodivergent people and/or those with cognitive or physical disabilities. Lack of a struggle does NOT mean consent. Consent should always be freely given, clear, and eager.

#hunter x hunter #illumi zoldyck #hisoka morow #hxh #hisoka #fanfic #illumi fanfic #hisoka fanfic #sexualassault #hxh fanfic #illumi fanfiction #hunter x hunter fanfiction #fanfiction #Drunk Illumi

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headcansxfanfictions · 3 days

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Kikyo (and Illumi) gives major Mother Gothel vibes. I think they sisters😂

#mother knows best #hunter x hunter #kikyo zoldyck #mother gothel

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headcansxfanfictions · 6 days

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I love the head-canon that Illumi doesn’t know how to handle social emotions situations and so copies what other’s do which comes across as really weird and fake to others.

another sketch thats been sitting in my drafts for 100 years!!! i want to finish this but who knows when i will have time 😵‍💫✌️

#hisoka is weak to his own babygirl treatment 🙈💦#hisoka #hisoillu #hunter x hunter #illumi #illumi zoldyck #mine #headcanon #killua zoldyck #hisoka morow

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headcansxfanfictions · 9 days

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Killua & Illumi’s relationship is complex and not typical.

Illumi plays a significant role in Killua's life, having been a dominant figure in his upbringing due to the dynamics within the Zoldyck assassin family and the fact that he is 12 years old than Killua. Illumi has often influenced Killua's decisions and actions, often manipulatively in hopes to give Killua the best chance at making the Zoldyck family proud. There are moments in the series where Killua expresses conflicting emotions towards Illumi, ranging from fear and hatred to compassion and mercy. There are instances that suggest they were close and caring towards each other in years past. Illumi clearly states how he loves Killua and believes Killua loves him more than anyone. Illumi’s concept of what it means to show love is really messed up but its the only form of love and care he has known.

#hunter x hunter #illumi zoldyck #headcanon #killua zoldyck #hxh

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