9/12/2023

I just ran out of cigarettes, and I have kept fighting and fighting buying another pack. I am writing now in hopes that I can get it down and out of my mind. I need to stay ran out of cigarettes. It takes away from all of my other potential positive habits. Every time I have “downtime” it is wasted smoking. I have found myself shooing away my family because I “need to smoke”. I know that if I…

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8/28/23 - Another month bites the dust

Time flies when you’re living from one existential crisis to the next. Weirdly enough that it just so happens that I decided to make time to write something. Just so happens to be while I am at work because I can’t bear the daily reminders to write without actually doing anything. I find that I am living in a brain fog and just trying to get through each day. I want to fill in the gaps of the…

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The Repetitiveness of it all...

It’s been a month now since I wrote, and a lot has happened. I was cut short on my check because I had the 4th of July off, and that prompted to me to sell off all my investment and retirement holdings to catch back up on my bills. I stopped the split and change my tax exemption so I effectively gave myself a raise. I have to use these funds from one account to get my budget established…

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6/29/23

Trying to write every day when you’re also on top of that trying to go after things you want in life is hard, but I think that through everything, every time write is like saying you haven’t given up. Yes it has been awhile since I wrote and I’m lying to myself when I say it will always be every day forever because shit happens. What makes you not shit, is coming back and saying hey, I know that…

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6/18/23

The struggle was real today. Very boring, managing the children all day. Finishing cleaning up the house. I have no money for the rest of the week, and somehow I have to figure out a way to pay for gas. I have was able to get a few sessions of TRW. Overall it was a productive day, but struggling with no smokes is hard. Trying to identify triggers through the course of the next week will be even…

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6/17/23

Today was eventful, and fruitful. Here is where we went today, Tibble Fork. We walked around the edge of the reservoir, we started hiking up a fairly good pathway that was all torn up. @coltenorwin #live #vicariously #thru #me ♬ original sound – Colten Orwin Don’t sleep on the guest appearance. @coltenorwin #live #vicariously #thru #me ♬ original sound – Colten Orwin There you can see the…

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6/16/23

Time flies when every day brings a new stress. Yesterday Benett “broke his tooth”, I saw nothing at night, but, the appointment had already been scheduled, and I didn’t know exactly which dentist I was supposed to take him to. I was just barely able to find the address in time to make it to the appointment thanks to Brooke and my Mom, but it turns out that Benett’s teeth were perfect, besides…

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6/13/2023 - DadHD

I have ideas that fly through my mind every day, and it just so happens, that ChatGPT is able to bounce these ideas off my mind very well, in a very productive manner, very, very quickly. So quickly, that I can almost create a whole business during a work day. Enter DadHD: The High Definition Father. I want to start a support group, that contains resources for fathers with ADHD and fathers to…

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6/12/23

I missed some more days but it’s staying in my mind. I am focusing on a lot of problems right now, namely my car issues, tickets and registration issues. I did have a productive weekend, I think I posted about it a little but here are some photos of some of the mushrooms that I found on my hike with T. Hacking. “that’s a slime mold” – T. Hacking This is a freaking ugly fungus Looks like…

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