goflyakate
Fandom Auntie
I am a pretty, pretty princess.
7821 posts
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Last Seen Blogs
worldzproductions
World Z Productions (SFW)
tuanplayboy89
Untitled
jacrispyvic
Vic’s Monstrosities
donna-reilly-us-blog
Untitled
lucas-lopes-santos-07
Lucas Lopes Santos
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kevin is ready to fight anyone who doesn’t appreciate his husband 😍💞
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You know it must be bad when you know the exact date.
Shit my doc says, when I begin recounting my recent nosebleed history
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This is the instrument version of when two inappropriately disproportionate dog breeds have puppies.
the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument
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After 8 nosebleeds in the last month and change, three ER visits, multiple doctors appointments and incalculable amount of stress and anxiety, I finally saw the ENT this morning, who cauterized three different vessels in my nostril.
Stings like a bitch, but it feels more secure somehow? Time will tell. I go back in 2 weeks to see if any of them need additional treatments.
Current mood: Nuke the entire site from orbit.
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Let’s be honest. We’re all here because posts are still in chronological order.
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The good news is that Vaseline is not in any way addictive.
Shit my doc says
#shit my doc says#chronic illness#shit my doctor says#congenital heart defect#this was about moisturizing nasal passages i swear
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Wearing white shirts is definitely a risk factor for getting nosebleeds.
Shit my doc says
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It’s that time of the year again :)
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That’s it, that’s the show.
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As my roommate just remarked, everyone should learn a handicraft so when they receive a lovely handmade gift they have at least the first clue as to how much time and effort is required.
Imagine typing out this letter and not stopping halfway and thinking “Hmmm, this makes me sound like the worst human being in the world.”
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Am I the only one that remembers that episode of the X-Files?
So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.
Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.
If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.
Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.
Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.
Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.
Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.
MATH NERD VAMPIRES
#or am i just 8000 years older than everyone else on this website#tumblr elderly#i watched x-files on its original run#i was probably too young tbh
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When your grammar is correct but spell-check still gives you shit.
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