Wow I haven't been on this tumblr since I started to really recover. It's so weird to see the way I was. I visited my old tumblr because I was at a friend's house last night and we were sitting in his room full of people and he saw all the old scars on my arm and he took a pen and said wanna see something cool? And he took my hands and wrote bro on my right fingers and Ken on the left one's. At first I laughed because my name's Ken and I read it as bro Ken then he put them together and said it spells broken. And it just triggered something in me an my heart started beating so fast and loud I'm sure he heard it and I started having an awful anxiety attack and I tried to tell my friends we had to leave but they didn't understand. It just made me remember the way I used to be and how far I've come. How much I've recovered and how just a little while ago I tried to kill myself. What if I had? I wouldn't have had the chance to fall in love or get accepted to the school I wanted for the program I wanted. Everything would've just been over. I'm so grateful that I had friends to help me along the way, one specific friend as well that helped me beyond belief. She's the reason I GET to keep living and have these experiences. It's just crazy to think about.

do you ever zone out and your body does all the work for you and then you come back to reality like in the shower or driving like did i just miss the last 20 mins was  i stuck in my own head for that long

FML! I am rlly high and I went to go cut my arm but I held the razor upside down and I cut my finger.

I think this is my favorite picture.

love this beyond words

I really hate that watching TV is associated with being lazy and boring while reading books is associated with being smart and profound. Both are really fucking great ways of telling stories and if you find a story that moves you, whether it’s a 900 page novel, a tv show, a film, a comic, or a sentence engraved on a slice of bread IT IS WORTHY OF YOUR TIME!!

my body isn’t your business (◕‿◕✿) 

my future does not concern you (◕‿◕✿) 

and i don’t have to justify my decisions to you (◕‿◕✿) 

John Lennon, Spain 1966.

if anyone is sad

here is a game where you’re a giraffe and you stretch your neck to kiss other giraffes 

here is a game where you’re a bunny trying to jump on bells during winter 

here is a game where you try jumping to make the ladybugs around you fly away 

here is a game where you collect blue birds and fly together 

here is a game where you try to land on cars while flying about with an umbrella 

here’s a whole website full of cute games like the ones listed above!

Have you ever wanted to cry but no tears came out, so you just stare blankly into space while feeling your heart break into pieces

sometimes I realize there are people on my dash heavily burdened with horrible things

bad relationships

mental illnesses

dangerous situations

and I just desperately hope that you’ll be okay, you’ll find the strength to continue and do the right thing for yourself, you’ll make it through and be happy

all of you

I wish that there was a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m having a bad mental health day and need you to pay attention to me,” without alienating everyone.

maybe if I cut deep enough some of my fat will come out.