i have some thoughts about Kipperlilly and how she’s mad because Riz’s life has been harder than hers, and how that relates to trauma.
I’ve seen a lot of people saying it’s really fucked up that she wishes she had that tragic backstory or family death because it gives them an “unfair advantage”, and yeah I agree that the reasoning’s messed up. They definitely don’t have an advantage, and Riz didn’t ask for a hard time and didn’t deserve it, but just because she is asking for one doesn’t mean she deserves it either.
I feel bad for Kipperlilly personally, I can empathise with her longing for that tragedy. Sometimes when a person has a lot of micro-traumas, for example emotional abuse of your friends repeatedly doing things to trigger your anger issues (which you are trying to work on with a councillor), or the pain of knowing you died and came back different, people do find themselves wishing awful things have happened to them. It’s a way of validation. It’s a thinking trap of “maybe if people could see the pain I was in, they’d help”. And that really fucks you up, I’ve been there. And then when something bad does happen, you blame yourself and think you deserve it because you asked for it.
So yeah, I think Kipperlilly’s thinking is flawed, but I don’t blame her for it. I don’t think she’s fundamentally a bad person because of it. Sometimes attention seeking behaviours are because they’re necessary - needing attention because you’re hurting (eg. due to uncontrolled anger issues) is valid. It’s not healthy when it’s actively hurting others, but it should be recognised at least by Jawbone that there could well be an underlying reason for her thinking and acting in that way.
Kipperlilly, I’m sorry for how they’re treating you. I’m not trying to victimise you, because you are causing harm, and that is wrong. But I see you. I hope you can learn to accept that pain is relative.
sorry but if you find out that a group of fictional teenagers chose eternal rage over eternal death and you're still frothing and fuming about them oh i know for SURE you would do exactly the same in their position LMFAOOO
i’ve been reminiscing recently about how i found dropout at a time when i really needed it, and now i want to spread the love.
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it really does drive me crazy trying to interact with any of the popular fantasy high posts on here. because people will say with their whole chest they hate and have got no sympathy for the rat grinders and that a) jawbone should've punched kipperlilly for coming to him with her Undiagnosed Mental Health Issues (you know, like the ones adaine used to have in freshman year?) b) the bad kids should take them all someplace to 6v1 them one by one and cold blooded murder them (??????) c) whole heartedly hate and make fun of them for being scared and alone and dead when they went on an adventure with a teacher and adult who was supposed to PROTECT them in a place they weren't prepared for.
the rat grinders were just. normal students. they are more like you than you could ever be like the bad kids. they were mid & they didn't want to be so they pushed themselves too fast too far and now all of them have got the worst survivor's guilt on earth on top of actively having to serve the rage incarnation of a dead god.
if you have the cognitive dissonance where one of the bad kids was in the plot line and you'd be drawing fanart making angsty meta crying about your poor baby forced into a bad situation and turn around and go 'lol nah shoot THESE guys in the head though' when it's an NPC I can only assume you've not understood narrative parallels or learned empathy past, like, a kindergarten level
Lucy and Yolanda, two people so devoted to what they do to who they were that they didn't want to come back with that rage.
Lucy who was so close to Kipperlily who killed her. Lucy who found the world much like winter, harsh and cold, but found warmth in connections with others. Lucy who would rather stay dead, her soul forbidden from the afterlife she probably dreamed of for the followes of Ruvina, than come back full of rage.
And Yolanda who gave up her own divinity to teach students. Who nurtured those students and took their concerns so seriously. Who let Kristen stay in class with no god despite that seeming impossible. Yolanda who cared so deeply about people in that way, so badly about Lucy that she would rather stay dead than come back filled with rage.
They made that choice because they cared and had so much hope for the interactions we share with others.
Kipperlilly who probably thought her best friend would come back like she probably did.
Buddy Dawn who was not connected so strongly to Sol that he decided to follow Ankarna and come back to life...
SANDRALYNN AND ADAINE IM SO AUGH. SIOBHAN THOMSPON YOU FUCKING LIAR THIS IS A CRY SEASON. I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR. "I'm not very good at being a kid." AAAAAAAAAA. Scrambling like the freaky fucking Baron they didn't fight to my fanfic corner.