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frenchfriedgiraffe · 14 hours

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wooo!!! it's here!!! it was so much fun working with you :) everyone check out the amazing fic, its brilliant!!

had so much fun working on this with @anmaje , who has written an amazing fic!!

The Inscrutable Case of Mariana “mrs. Hudson” Ametxazurra

Archie trotted happily down Baker Street, with John in tow. His morning walk had been entirely eventful. Not only had he bolted about the new scents of spring flowers in Regent Park, Sherlock had joined them! His morning walks were usually a little more restrained as Mariana would keep him on his leash, but this morning she had frowned when John let him down the stairs to 221a and apologised that she was busy.

“I can’t believe you haven’t noticed!” John said. Sherlock fell into step with him.

“I’m not omniscient, Watson. Mrs. Hudson's behaviour does not take up vast amounts of my observational practice.” He pushed his sunglasses securely up his nose and continued. “She’s been focused, happy, and her work is as superb as usual. What else is there to observe?”

“The happy bit!” John slowed down as they approached the flat. “She’s been smiling at her computer- and her phone. It’s not like her.” He slowed to a halt before the door. Archie scratched to be let in.

“What? She likes her job. Is being happy at work weird?”

“No- well. Depends on the work I suppose, but it’s different. She’s more so than usual.” John shot his friend a pleading glance. “Just please be observant.”

“Would you expect me to be anything-” Sherlock didn’t get to finish his sentence before the door swung open. Mariana was pulling her coat on as she bent down to quickly pat Archie. Her expression was ecstatic when she stood and then swiftly brushed past the two men.

“Hello! Good walk? Go watch the desk, yes? I’ll be back!” She shouted, already metres down Baker Street. John turned to Sherlock, whose uninterested expression had quickly turned into very familiar intrigue and fascination.

“I must apologise to you, my dear Watson.” Sherlock turned to his smirking companion. “It seems that our trusted friend is hiding something from us.” Sherlock stepped inside with the most careful step and slowly slid his sunglasses down his nose. Grey eyes scanning the hall.

“Ha! I knew it! Come on Archie. We’ve got a case!”

“Wroof!”

----

“Hello listener! You find me in the doorway of 221a. Sherlock is crawling across the hardwood floor of our office space, and I am keeping Archie from contaminating the crime scene. Which isn’t actually a crime scene, it’s just that Mariana’s been acting weird. Smiling at her screens, avoiding questions, she’s even been ‘too busy’ to walk Archie! So being the excellent friends we are, Sherlock and I are investigating-”

“Practically snooping.” Sherlock popped up from beneath the front desk.

“We’re concerned about her! It’s not unheard of- You’ve got a cobweb in your hair.” John stifled a snicker as Sherlock picked at his head cross eyed.

“Ah! I got it. You can let Archie go now, the floor holds no more facts than usual.” Sherlock leapt from the ground elegantly and resumed his search, focusing on Mariana’s desk. It was quite tidy, newly cleaned, but her phone lay screen down in the middle.

“Thank you. In you go Archie-boy.” John clicked off the leash and followed Archie into the room. He went to Mariana’s small kitchen. He’d used the kettle here many times, and had put coffee on for her as well. Her mug was discarded in the sink, and the pot in the machine was almost empty.

“Hmm, that’s weird. I’m in Mariana’s kitchen, and the coffee pot is almost empty- Which of course isn’t weird, she’s spanish, y’know? They really like their coffee. The weird bit is that the pot was quite full, by the looks of it.” He explained to the microphone.

“HOW DID YOU OBSERVE THAT?” Shouted Sherlock from the office space. John could hear his steps coming closer.

“Well it’s the condensation from when it was brewed! It’s-” John started before Sherlock entered the small kitchen.

“Let me see.” Sherlock leaned over John’s shoulder with a puzzled expression, and then a grin spread on his face. The condensation was only just at the top of the coffee pot, it must indeed have been quite full.

“Very good Watson! And what can we deduce from that?”

“Well, it explains her energy just earlier- oh yeah,” he spoke to the microphone, “she rushed out the door as soon as we came back from Archie’s morning walk.”

“That’s all well and good, but it also tells us she was tired this morning. No one drinks that much coffee for the taste. She must have slept very little or very poorly, but did she seem sore to you, Doctor?”

“Not at all. On the contrary.” said John, nodding along with his friend’s thought process.

“And so, by ruling out the impossible we know that she slept very little, most likely in anticipation of the text message she received mere moments before our return.” Sherlock smirked as he turned on his heel to exit the room. John grinned big, impressed and befuddled.

“How? How do you know that she got a text?” He quickly followed his friend back into the office. Archie had curled up under Mariana’s desk and was snoring lightly. Sherlock stood above him, leaning on the table and looking pointedly at her abandoned phone.

“She didn’t bring her phone. She was sitting here, waiting for a message, got it and checked it. Then we came back. Archie-” the sleeping dog lifted an ear, “-made our presence known and out the door went mrs. Hudson.” Sherlock explained with a smile, but as soon as he finished his eyebrows drew together again. “But what would get her in such a rush? And why has she been secretive about it?” He started scanning the familiar room once again. John crossed his arms and looked at the smartphone in its sleek cover. He knew he shouldn’t. So he didn’t. But he noticed something missing beneath the phone.

“She’s cleared her desk, Sherlock. Did you notice?”

“Yes. She’s very cleanly.”

“Her mouse pad isn’t here. The little nametag by the front is gone. Even her cute little personalised-calendar-thing isn’t here!” He contemplated turning off the microphone. Sherlock stopped his data collection and looked at his friend.

“I see what you’re getting at, but if she was leaving-”

“I didn’t say that-”

“I already considered the possibility, but our initial interest in the case was unusual displays of happiness. Ergo: she is not unhappy in this work.” He stepped slowly toward John.

“I don’t know after The Retired Colourman… And she’s been happy in a new way. Like waiting for… a new opportunity?” His voice was small. “She’s good at grabbing those.”

“John.” Sherlock put a hand on his shoulder, pulling his attention behind them. “Look here. What do you see?”

“Our desks…” John started. “... also cleared. What?” He looked up at Sherlock whose eyes were fixed on him.

“Why would she tidy up after us if she won’t be here for long?”

“But where are our mousepads? And your stress ball? She rents here, y’know, it’s her name on the lease, not the company. If she needs us out-”

“Here.” Sherlock took a big step and opened a drawer in his desk he had already checked once. And there was his worn mouse pad and a discoloured stress ball. John’s puzzled expression didn't change however. He turned back towards the phone. He had stared at the back of that boring cover and wondered for more than a week. He picked it up and turned it over. The lock screen lit up.

“John Hamish Watson, put her phone down!” Sherlock looked bewildered at his colleague.

“Oh so we can break into people's homes, but looking at our friend’s notifications goes against Sherlock Holmes’ moral compass? Be serious, mate. I’m worried. ” John looked back at the phone. The photo on her lock screen made him smile in spite of his worry.

“I don’t need the trust of suspects, but mrs. Hudson- I remember that photograph.” Sherlock stopped when he looked over John’s shoulder. He raised his microphone.

“For the listeners: The photo taken was at the Volunteer, it’s a selfie from a night out. Mariana looks absolutely gorgeous, it’s a shame it’s only half her face ‘cause the make-up’s really cool. Sherlock is right behind her, also looking his best, big smile, turtleneck, sunglasses in february, you know, serving looks-”

“You need screen time on TikTok.”

“Probably. And I look like a prick holding three pints.”

“Nonono. Watson looks very handsome, he’d just gone to the barber and I recall that he smelt excellent.”

“Oh yeah! Mum had just gotten me that beard-oil-stuff. What a brilliant night that was.”

Sherlock chuckled a little and then his face fell into deep interest once more. He pried the phone from John, who let him.

“She’s a professional woman. It was the first thing I observed of her. Her phone is practical, not an unnecessarily expensive model, but up to date and protected with a simple, practical and stylish cover. This is how our colleague wants to be perceived. It is her carefully crafted frontstage persona. And so the secrecy we’ve observed must concern her backstage. She’s a private woman. Remember the mermaid t-shirt? The glimpses we get are embarrassing to her. She even hides her face in this image that she hasn’t shared anywhere.” He put the phone down.

“D’you think she’s seeing someone?”

“Perhaps. It could also be family.”

“Hmm.” John murmured and considered the phone again. The ping of a text rang from it. Sherlock shot him a glare. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help himself. He picked up the phone and read the text.

“John, really, it takes the fun out of it… huh,” Sherlock said.

“It’s a courier service asking for a rating.”

“Yes, Watson, I can read,” said Sherlock, voice dripping with sarcasm. John gestured to the microphone, but Sherlock kept speaking. “She must have gone down to the postal office then, to collect the package they are inquiring about.”

“Right, so the package is the secret?”

“We can certainly deduce that, but it’s the content that solves this case.” Sherlock turned around to the rest of the office, and resumed his work. John had just put down the phone when the flat front door opened.

“ Oh shit, act natural!” Whispered John and flung himself into his office chair. Sherlock was pulled out of his focused state and stood frozen wondering what ‘natural’ meant. Happy humming and the jingle of keys came from the hall and the door swung open.

“I’m back! I really hoped it would get here before you, but a surprise is a-” Mariana stopped in her tracks. She put the box she had carried under her arm down on the front desk and looked from man to man. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing! Watching the desk as you said.” John's smile was wider than he wanted it to be and looked to Sherlock, who only had eyes for the box, for any sliver of assistance.

“Riiight. Sherlock, why is John lying?” said Mariana with a mischievous grin. John sighed as Sherlock moved closer to the box.

“Because you have been dishonest and secretive.” He read over the shipping details and examined the slight damage in the cardboard. “And so we have been dishonest in return.”

“¿Qué? Can anyone speak sense here?” Her joking demeanour had become more exasperated, and yet the awkward silence of the room was only broken by a particularly slobbering snore from Archie. Sherlock looked at John pleadingly. He sighed in return.

“Alright. We were worried!” Started the doctor.

“He was. I was curious.” Explained the detective and continued: “You, Mariana Ametxazurra-”

“You know my name?” She laughed.

“Let me finish! Watson brought it to my attention that you have directed an unusual amount of happiness at your phone, and not informed us as to why. We conducted an investigation. Initially Watson observed that your coffee consumption was excessive this morning, of which trouble sleeping can be deduced. I had already noticed the particular placement of your phone, and so it was simple to reason your anticipation of the text message you received. Then Watson was struck by fear of your cleaned and clear desk, he assumed you must have been waiting for a new job opportunity-”

“Oh John .” She frowned sympathetically.

“Let him finish.” John was slightly flustered.

“Terrible theory of course, but then we drew our attention to your phone. I must regretfully inform you that Watson betrayed your trust and picked it up-”

“Hey hey hey mate! You deduced it was a text.” John shot out of his chair.

“But I didn’t pick up her phone.” Sherlock crossed his arms at his colleague. John scoffed.

“You looked over my shoulder immediately!” He retorted.

“Yes, and we saw the contrast of you, mrs. Hudson,” said Sherlock and picked up the discarded phone. “Professional and practical on the outside.” He turned on the screen and presented her with the selfie of the three friends. “Yet ultimately a very warm and very private person.” He gave her the phone. She smiled at the photo and looked back up at him. “It was then that Watson betrayed you once more-”

“Alright! Mariana I’m so sorry, but you got a text and we read the notification- but it was just from a courier service! I swear we were just-”

“John please! It’s okay!” She was laughing, John realised, she was laughing hard. “It’s my work phone. That’s why I left it, you might have gotten a call from a potential client.” She pulled out another phone from her pocket to show them, it was a similar model, but with a clear cover. Sherlock looked dumbfounded and then disappointed.

“But you always use that phone, and why the personal picture?” He interrogated. Mariana kept chuckling.

“That’s because I’m always working and I just really like that picture, it’s the only one where you’re actually smiling. Not one of those no-lips english smiles.” She opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors. “Now, master detective, have you figured out what’s in the box? Or do you want to do the honours?” She offered him the scissors, but he turned away, slightly offended and mostly flustered.

“I know what’s in the box.” He said.

“Well I would love to, Mari.” John grabbed the scissors, and went straight to cutting open the mysterious package.

“I was so happy with the quality of all the merch. And when I just recently thanked the merch company, I saw that their website had all sorts of personalised office things!” She explained as John pulled out a large mousepad with their logo.

“This looks amazing, Mariana!”

“Thank you, I thought we needed an upgrade.” She searched the box. “And here Sherlock. They had stress balls, and good ones too!” She threw one at him teasingly, not expecting him to catch it with the precision he did. He gave it a look and an experimental squeeze.

“It’s not too far from my old one. I’ll warm up to it.” His mood was on the mend.

“What are you talking about? That looks great! Toss it here! I’m free!” John held his hands up to catch.

It was fortunate that Mariana had ordered several stress balls, for Sherlock Holmes was much better at catching than throwing, and John Watson didn’t move fast enough before Archie had claimed his part of the new stationary.

******** Find it on AO3! The Inscrutable Case of Mariana “mrs. Hudson” Ametxazurra

#sherlock and co #flashbang event #giraffe recommends

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