No More Dieting

So today marks the start of breaking free from the ridiculous diet trap. It’s no surprise to anyone that diets just DO NOT WORK. You can force a few pound off your body, with sweat, starvation and misery only to pile them back on further down the line. I’ve hit diet rock-bottom and the highest weight I’ve ever been. Luckily for me, this is the first stage of becoming an intuitive eater and regaining food freedom. (According to Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch in their book,”Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works.”)

When I’m dieting/attempting to eat healthily/whatever the hell you want to call it, I avoid carbs. They’re evil and make you fat and eating white bread is almost akin to punching your neighbours’ whiny, slightly senile cat in the face. But I love bread, it’s quick and easy, comforting almost, and goes with everything! When I’m on a ridiculous low carb diet I won’t touch bread, when the effects of low carb hit and the inevitable binge ensues I will eat crisps and sweets and chocolate and ice cream, but oh no, must not eat bread! It’s finally dawning on me that if I just ate the damn bread when I craved it, I could avoid the out of control binge eating later on. 

Unless you’re going full on keto, there’s probably very little benefit to reducing carbs, especially if you’re fairly active and need fuel. Yes you can run on ketones, I tried it (of course I did, it’s a fad diet, I’ve tried them all). The science is interesting, especially for someone like myself who has had a brush with cancer, but I found it unsustainable and incompatible with my chosen sports.

Breakfast this morning was white toast and orange juice - very little nutritional value and full of sugar - both are things I know to be evil, but the whole point of intuitive eating is to cast aside all your ideas about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods, diet rules and ideals, and to make peace with food. Eat what you really want and listen to your body about when to stop eating. Simple right?

You’re supposed to sit and eat without distraction and pause halfway through to see how the food is tasting and whether you are full or not. I don’t struggle with knowing when to stop, I rarely eat a full meal and always stop before I’m completely stuffed. Without distraction is another matter. I usually have the TV on and/or on my phone or reading or anything that isn’t focusing on the matter in hand. I’m useless at this, I can’t meditate, I can’t sit and do nothing, I can’t empty my mind and just chill. So this bit was tough. I kept reaching for my phone, or drifting off into my own thoughts. Anyway I got through it, I realised that I didn’t need to finish both slices before I started to feel satisfied (but I did anyway). I was happy with my choice of breakfast and didn’t then need to go on the hunt for something else to eat.

The high carb breakfast kept me going right through my climbing session and now I’m having my tea, not because it’s ‘tea time’ (it’s not, it’s 4.30pm) but because I’m hungry. Tea is chipotle steak and chips - again high in white carbs, but damn tasty! Finishing off with a bit of ice cream - I notice I needed far less ice cream than I normally would eat to feel satisfied.

Weirdly, when I think about what I’m craving most, it’s not crisps or sweets or chocolate or ice cream - what I really want is a homemade cottage pie, full of veg and lentils and mashed potato and cheese, or maybe lasagne with garlic bread. If I just ate these perfectly normal meals when I craved them, I imagine I would struggle far less with the urge to binge eat piles of junk food.

Currently nothing is off limits. The journey to becoming an intuitive eater is achieved in stages. Firstly, I need to make peace with food and reject the diet mentality. Eventually there are steps involving making better choices to respect my health and my body, but at the moment that feels too much like a diet - I’m not ready. I’ll trust the process and know that I will be able to trust my body to lead me in the right direction before too long.