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foxgloveprincess · 24 hours

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Pickup Game

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3509

Warnings: Flirt, Fluff, Smut, Oral (f rec)

Summary: An after party game of pickup lines leads to a confession and an even more fun night in bed.

A/N: Special thanks to my hype princess & beta reader @whisperlullaby.

The after party of just Avengers and close friends was in full swing. Drinks and laughter flowed as you enjoyed each other's company.

“Okay, okay. Your best pick up line! Let’s have ‘em!” Clint yells over the most recent spate of laughter. “Tony, whatcha got?”

Tony smirks before opening his arms wide and declaring, “I am Iron Man.” He grins as everyone heckles him, “What can I say? Works every time!”

“Really?” Pepper raises an eyebrow.

“Used to! Used to work,” Tony backpedals. “Rhodey, save me here, buddy!”

“Okay, okay,” Rhodey laughs as he glances at Natasha who is standing by him and tugs at his sleeve, “Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.”

"Nice," Natasha scoffs.

"Let's hear yours then!" Rhodey huffs.

"Ever had a White Russian?" Natasha asks, holding up her glass.

"No," Rhodey looks at her suspiciously.

"Want to?" She says seductively.

Rhodey chuckles, "Smooth. Okay, Clint, what've you got?"

Clint bats his eyes at Sam, standing next to him and says, "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes, big boy?"

Sam laughs while rolling his eyes, "So, what you guys are telling me is that you have no game?"

"Give us your best then, Rocket Man!"

"You know, dating is a numbers game. So, can I have yours?" Sam grins.

"Boooring!" Tony heckles. "Steve, what's your favorite?"

"I've never been good with pickup lines. That was more Bucky's territory," Steve tilts his head towards the dark-haired super soldier.

"Thanks," Bucky says sarcastically, "I'm a little out of practice with pickup lines."

"Aw, come on, Buck, give it a shot," you pipe in and then try to hide your embarrassment at having drawn attention to yourself. Even though you hoped he'd test out the line on you. Your attraction to the man was undeniable and you'd harbored a crush since you'd met him. You leaned back against the wall with your hands behind your back and raised your eyebrow in challenge to him.

Bucky's face betrayed a moment of discomfiture before he straightened his shoulders and stepped over to you. He placed a hand on the wall above you, leaning in with a small smirk, "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

You could hear some chuckling and comments in the background but it faded as you stared up at Bucky. God, he was fine as hell and you were doing your best to control your erratic heartbeat.

"Sorry, doll, that wasn't very good, huh?"

You don't know where the gall came from but, before you realized what you were doing the words slipped out of your mouth. "Don't worry, Buck, I'm not big on being picked up. I prefer to be pinned down." Your eyebrow raised as you said the words and you smirked, bringing your glass to your lips for a sip.

Bucky's jaw drops as the room erupts in laughter and cheers. Tony crows, "She wins!"

Clint laughs heartily as he agrees, "Hands down!"

After a few moments, you reach up and close Bucky's mouth, “And to answer your questions, yes, I would,” you whisper with a wink as you walk away.

A little while later, the party was winding down and you decided it was time to slip out. Your nerves were getting the better of you. Thoughts ran amuck as to what Bucky thought of you and whether the attraction you felt was reciprocated. He’d been in a conversation with some of the guys since the game ended and you hoped to catch a glimpse, some sign of mutual interest but now you were walking away with your tail between your legs. God, what must he think of you and that brazen comment.

Hitting the button for the elevator, you berate yourself for thinking you ever stood a chance. Your head snapped up when a deep voice whispered, “You know, you have a beautiful body.”

Grinning, you turn and press yourself against Bucky, “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Bucky smirks at you. Without warning, he stoops and picks you up as if you weigh nothing.

“Bucky!” You squeal as the elevator doors open.

He carries you in, hitting the button for his floor with his elbow, “Don’t worry, doll. I know you aren’t big on being picked up but I’ll have you pinned down soon enough.”

You raise your eyebrow at him, “It was just a line, Buck.”

His confidence falters for a second, “Oh, uh-”

“Don’t worry, baby. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it,” you smirk.

“Oh, you’re naughty,” Bucky laughs.

“I prefer ‘playful’.”

“I like playful,” Bucky adjusts you in his arms so that your back is pressed to the elevator wall and your faces are at the same level.

You use the opportunity to wrap your legs around him and look at him expectantly.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks.

You’re surprised by the request after the way he’d handled you. It warmed your heart that he would seek your consent and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face, “Please.”

The kiss is intense. He presses into you as his lips move over yours. His tongue slips out seeking entry and you oblige him immediately. You separate only when the elevator dings your arrival. He lowers your legs gently and takes your hand. Leading you down the hallway, Bucky says awkwardly, “I, uh, was kind of surprised when you, um, said that tonight.”

“What? The pickup line?” You tilt your head as you look at him.

“No, the… thing you whispered afterwards.”

“Really, why?” You thought your feelings for him were fairly obvious.

“I mean, I’m a mess and you’re so put together. I just,” he shrugs, “kinda thought you were out of my league, ya know.”

“No,” you laugh, “no, I don’t know. I have never thought of myself as put together. Thanks for that but I’m kind of a mess, too. I think we all are in our own ways.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Bucky smiles as he opens his door and guides you in.

You suddenly feel awkward as you walk inside the room. The passion displayed in the elevator had mellowed as you walked and talked together into a camaraderie. You were unsure how to get back to it.

“Would you like a drink?” Bucky asks as he comes up behind you, his lips brushing your neck and his hands caress your hips. You jump a little at the unexpected contact.

“I think I had enough earlier,” you breathe, heat pooling between your legs.

“I haven’t had enough, I haven’t had nearly enough. I need another taste,” Bucky says as he turns you around to capture your mouth. You oblige him willingly, snaking your arms around his neck as you arch into him.

Abandoning any reserve you would normally have, you reach for the buttons on his shirt. He reaches for the zipper of your dress but his hands still. You pull back to look at him curiously.

“You’re sure?” He asks.

You smile and pull the tails of his shirt from his pants while saying, “Barnes, if you don’t get me naked and pin me down, I will never forgive you.”

He pulls you against him forcefully, grinning as he pulls down your zipper, “We can’t have that.”

Clothes are discarded quickly as he backs you to the bed. Bucky slides his hands into your panties to grab your ass and you gasp when he picks you up. Laying you on the bed he pulls your panties off. You expect him to follow you down but instead his eyes take a slow path up your body. Propping yourself on your elbows, you resist the urge to cover yourself but tremble as he studies you. He smiles, grabs a discarded t-shirt, and rips the bottom half from it. Your eyebrow raises at the display.

“And what do you plan to do with that, Sgt. Barnes?”

His smirk as he advances has butterflies dancing in your stomach. He grabs your arms, twists the shirt around your wrists, and hauls them above your head as he pins you to the bed.

“Happy now?” Bucky rumbles as he kisses your neck.

“Almost. I’d like these off,” you use your legs to pull at the underwear he still has on, “and an orgasm or two would be nice.”

Holy shit, you don’t know where this confidence had come from. Maybe because Bucky wanted you. Maybe because of whatever drink that was that Natasha had handed you. Whatever it was, you were enjoying the results.

“Only one or two?” Bucky teases as he nibbles along your clavicle. “I bet I can do better.”

“Is that so?” You gasp as his tongue plays over your nipple.

“Mm-hm,” he murmurs before plucking at your other nipple with his lips. He lets go of your hands that are still bound above your head as he slides his tongue down your stomach. Your breathing picks up when he reaches your navel and proceeds to kiss his way down to your mound. Your eyes screw shut to take in every sensation. When he spreads your legs further apart, you feel the contrast of warm skin and cool metal on your thighs. Anticipation builds, making you lick your lips and you can’t help the whimper that slips out when you feel a gentle finger trace your slit.

“Fuck,” Bucky whispers reverently before his tongue follows the same path as his fingers. His metal arm curls around your leg and he rests his hand on your abdomen, effectively holding you in place as he explores your folds. It was almost unbearable, the way his tongue slid around to touch everywhere but where you needed him most.

“Bucky, please,” you whimper desperately.

His chuckle rumbles against your core. His fingers replace his tongue, taking the same lazy path. “Poor baby, am I not giving you what you want?” His finger tip barely grazes your clit and you whine. “Are you feeling needy?” His finger circles your entrance and his tongue gives the softest lick to your clit. Your hips flex, desperate for more friction, making Bucky press his metal hand more firmly against you. “I like seeing you like this.” Another small lick to your clit. “Wet, under me, and so desperate.”

“Bucky, pleeeaase,” you can’t keep the whine out of your voice. You don’t think you’ve ever been quite so turned on and the teasing was making you a writhing mess.

“Say please again and maybe I’ll give you what you want.”

“Please!” the word rushes out of you. His fingers and tongue driving you mad.

His tongue moves slowly, lapping back and forth over your clit while his finger still teases. It’s maddeningly delicious but not enough at the same time. He holds your hips hostage, not allowing you to move. You mewl with each motion of his tongue over you, your body on fire and screaming for just a little more until your mouth opens to plead, “More! Oh, god, I need more!”

Bucky lifts his head, a devilish smirk across his mouth, “Oh, precious, you didn’t say please. We’ll have to start all over again now.” His finger goes back to tracing the slow path over your cunt.

“What?” You gape at him as he plays with you.

“You didn’t say please, doll,” Bucky repeats, allowing his lips to brush over your thigh, far too far from where you wanted his lips.

You felt like crying. You felt like screaming. You felt like ripping off your bindings, flipping him over, and riding his face until you came all over it. Unfortunately, you knew you’d never overpower him and, if you were really honest with yourself, this little game he was playing was hot as fuck. You’d never been treated like this and he had made you a gushing mess.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. Please, please, I need more,” you whimper at him with doe eyes, hoping for a reprieve.

“You need more, precious?” Bucky’s finger grazes lightly over your clit.

“Oh, please!” Your hips try to buck against his hold but he merely chuckles as he holds you in place easily. His finger circles your clit slowly as his tongue takes a meandering path up your thigh.

“Please, baby, please!” You whine as he makes his way back to your apex and are rewarded when his tongue takes the place of his finger. His motions are still slow and deliberate while his finger brushes over your entrance again causing you to clench around nothing. Desperate for more, you start to say the one word you know will earn you some relief, “Plea- OOH!!!-” In the middle of your plea, his finger had entered you and he sucked on your clit suddenly. “Yes, fuck, please, please, please…,” the word became your only mantra as he fucked you with fingers and tongue. Your legs began to shake and then he curled his fingers into that perfect spot, making bright white flash before your eyes and a scream rend from your throat. You came hard, your muscles clenching. Your legs try to close but Bucky’s broad shoulders between them keep you open to him. He laps at you through the aftershocks.

“Fuck, I could stay here for days,” Bucky groaned. His fingers curled slowly as his tongue made gentle licks.

You gasped and moaned, words and thoughts hard to come by in the haze. “Bucky,” you finally manage to whisper his name as if it was the sweetest endearment.

“I know. I know, doll. Don’t worry, I’m not done yet,” his mouth nuzzled you as he said the words. Flicks of his tongue came closer together, “I need another one from you, precious. Gotta hear you make those sweet sounds again.”

“Bucky, oh, fuck. Please, it’s so good,” you gasp the words out, nearly overstimulated and yet still desperate for his touch.

“You know how hard I am hearing you say that?” Bucky groans against your clit, vibrations coursing through you. His tongue begins moving faster, making swift circles.

“I… I- fuck. Please,” you stutter, unable to form sentences anymore. Bucky’s fingers curl more firmly into that spongy spot inside and your back tries to arch despite his arm holding you firmly in place. He was moving his tongue as if his sole purpose in life was to make you fly into a million pieces. You were a whimpering mess, unable to form words and so close to the edge again. When he growled against you again, your eyes flew open and you looked down your body at him. His cobalt eyes met yours and the intensity in his gaze was a hit straight to your core. Your muscles began to spasm as you watched him, so focused on your pleasure and aroused by your responses. Your scream is stifled by the overwhelming intensity of the orgasm that rips through you. Your hands flex around the bonds that hold them in place.

As Bucky kisses his way back up your body, you manage to come back to yourself… mostly. You wanted to touch him, to hold him against you, to run your hands over his body. You attempt to untwist your hands from the scrap of t-shirt but the deceptively loose looking knot doesn’t budge.

“Bucky, baby, please can you untie me?” You whisper.

Bucky had paused at your breasts to show them some attention. They were deserving of the most reverent of worship in his mind. His tongue traced your nipple before he spoke, “Why? I’ve got you tied up, pinned down, and perfectly on display for me.”

“I want to touch you, please,” you gasp as he takes your nipple into his mouth to gently suckle.

“Hmm,” he muses as he makes his way to your other breast, giving it the same loving attention. “If you’ll answer a question for me.”

“Anything,” you sigh, enjoying each motion of his mouth over you. You feel the rumble of his chuckle at your quick response.

“How long?” He asks.

You slide your leg to brush against his cock, still covered by his boxer briefs before saying cheekily, “I didn’t bring a measuring tape with me but I’d say more than adequate.”

Bucky lets out a small moan at the contact and then chuckles, “Not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean, baby?”

“How long did I waste not having you in my bed?” Bucky asks as he brings his face level to yours.

“You mean, how long have I wanted you or are you asking how long I’ve liked you?”

“Both,” Bucky narrows his eyes but gives you a small smile.

“If I’m really honest, I’ve always wanted you. You’re kinda hot, ya know?” You smile and bite your lip.

“And the other?” Bucky asks, flexing his hips into you so that his hard cock nestles between your legs.

You gasp and arch into him, “About five minutes after meeting you.”

“Seriously, when?” Bucky scoffs gently.

“You were so sweet and a little self-conscious and I just adored you,” you nudged his nose with yours, encouraging his lips to find yours. He kissed you, long and lovingly, while he released your hands. You both seemed to settle into each other as your hands explored, finally free. The heat began to return, hips flexing into each other, craving the friction, but before things got too carried away, you cradled Bucky’s face in your hands and forced him to look at you. “How long?” You repeat his question.

“Always,” he whispers passionately before taking your mouth again.

It was all you needed. You reached for the band of his underwear, wanting nothing left to separate you. You managed to get the offending garment off of him and circle his cock with your hand. He takes a sharp intake of breath and then groans. Definitely more than adequate, you think to yourself.

“Doll,” Bucky presses his forehead to yours, “I need to be inside you.”

“Oh, precious, you didn’t say please,” you tease him, rubbing the head of his cock through your slick. Your core aches to be filled but you can’t resist the chance to tease him just a bit as he’d done to you earlier.

Bucky chuckles, “Knew I should have kept you tied up.”

You rub the head of his cock over your clit and whimper loudly in his ear, “I still haven’t heard it.” You pump him in your hand but still won’t let him slip into you despite his attempts to maneuver his hips.

“Fuuuuck, please!” Buchy growls, sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

You waste no time lining him up with your entrance. He presses in a few agonizingly slow inches before grabbing your hands and hauling them above your head. He stares into you as he growls out, “I should pin you down,” he sinks in a little more, “and tease you mercilessly.” His hips slide slowly forward until he’s fully seated inside of you. “But I don’t think either of us would survive it right now.” He slides out a couple of inches before snapping his hips forward, taking your breath away. He sets a slow but driving pace, staring into your eyes as he fucks you. His hands slide down to hold your face and he kisses you fiercely, his thrusts coming a little faster as he does. You wrap your arms around his chest, pulling him to you, sliding one down to grab onto his ass. You encourage every movement, the drag of his cock tipping you closer to the precipice.

He buries his face in your neck, whispering praises and encouragement, “Shit, you’re squeezing me so tight, doll.”

“Bucky, fuck, I’m gonna-,” your breath catches as you fall over the edge. Your body sings as you come, trembling and moaning with each wave.

“You’re so fucking pretty, doll. So fucking pretty,” Bucky grits out as you clench around him. It only takes a few more sloppy thrusts for him to lose himself inside you. His hips flex with each aftershock that hits him.

Rolling to his side, Bucky pulls you against him. You nuzzle his chest as you both catch your breath. Despite the lethargy settling over both of you, Bucky's hands wander continuously over your skin and you bask in the attention.

“You'll stay, won't you?” Bucky whispers.

“I don't know,” you say sleepily, “Do you hog the covers?”

Bucky chuckles, “I'm pretty good at sharing.”

“Mmm, then I'll stay,” you yawn and a little giggle escapes you.

“What?” Bucky smiles at your mirth-filled eyes.

“That's the first time a cheesy pick up line ever worked on me,” you giggle again.

“I'll have to come up with some others. See if I get lucky again,” Bucky laughs as he kisses the top of your head.

“I'd say your chances are pretty good,” you smirk at him, “But maybe next time, I should be the one to pin you down.”

“Only if you say please, doll.”

Updates and taglist: Due to the unreliable nature of tags, I no longer keep a taglist. Updates for series will be made on Sundays Central Time Zone. Please follow my sideblog @tuiccimfanfiction and turn on notifications for updates. All series and new stories will be reblogged to it. You will only receive notifications when a new part or story is out! Nothing else will be blogged to the page. I can’t thank you enough for your support!

Tags: @badassbaker @rebekahdawkins @learisa @liebs82 @blackkflamecandle @saiyanprincessswanie @thejemersoninfernoo @thehumanistsdiary @supraveng @chrisevansbaby @randomfandompenguin@hiddles-rose @jbbarnesgirl@late-to-the-party-81 @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @ysmmsy @looking-for-another-world @colereads @happypopcornprincess@mrsbarnes107th @sebsgirl71479@palaiasaurus64 @winterwitch-trash

#step into my library #i love all the cheesy pick up lines #and the mix of confidence and awkwardness in bucky #he’s so concerned with her comfort and consent #love that in a man #and then the teasing #i could not even #i’d be chanting it too

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foxgloveprincess · 2 days

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Don't Speak 41

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: powering through.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth. You peel it away as Dr. Kemp’s gravelly timbre tickles you. A tremor flows through you. You can barely think as your mind centers on the feeling of his hand on your knee. Firm but gentle, exactly how you imagined it.

“...and…” you quiver out a breath, “we’re laying down. You… you have your arms around me,” you squeeze your eyes tighter, embarrassed as you describe your sacred fantasy, “and my hands are on your chest and…”

“Mhmm,” he hums in encouragement, his thumb rubbing through the thin stocking.

“And we’re kissing,” you have to hold back a giggle. You’re all bubbly as you get closer and closer to the good part. To the scary part. “And… and–andddddd…” you warble, trying to keep control, “we’re naked!”

You clap your hands over your mouth and open your eyes. You bat your lashes at him. You curl your fingers and press your fingernails into your lower lip.

“What else happens?” He asks.

You feel dizzy, but not like earlier. Not weak, almost enlivened. Thrilled at your own unraveling.

“And you touch me…” you lower your chin, “here,” you drop your hands just over your chest, “and…” you point with a single finger to your lap, “down there.”

He nods and leans forward, his hand caressing above your knee now. You squirm but don’t pull away. You don’t want him to stop.

“With my hands?” He wonders.

You gulp and laugh again, “with what else?”

“Well… doesn’t… I could use my mouth, right?”

You flinch as you clutch your hands together, “only… only in the fantasy. Yes.”

“Yes, obviously,” he agrees, "so, in your fantasy, do I?”

You chew your lip and twist your fingers. You nod.

“And you enjoy it?”

Your head bops up and down vigorously.

“And next? Do I… do more?”

You squeak and wiggle in the spot. You feel the heat nestling in your lap. You can barely sit still.

“Do I get on top of you?”

“We’re beside each other,” you correct him. He bows, urging you on. “And you’re feeling me, I’m feeling you and…” you close your eyes again, “I have my leg around you,” your hips tilt slightly without meaning to as he kneads your thigh, “and you're…”

You don’t know how to say it. Not in the right away. You pull your hands apart and spread them wide. You shake your head and let your lashes flick open again.

“I’m inside you,” he growls, “fucking you, right?”

You choke and slap your hands down on your thighs. You grind against the cushion as your fingertips touch his thick knuckles. You recoil but he catches your hand and pulls it back. He clings to you as he slides closer.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s only in your head, right?”

“I suppose…”

“It would only be wrong if I kissed you right now,” he leans in, his voice softening, “if I let my hand go a little higher…” you can taste his breath, “if I put you down on this couch and did everything you dream of.”

You feel like you’re going to faint. His cheeks dimple and he grins, chuckling as he sits back. He squeezes your hand and lets you go.

“But you’re a good girl and you won’t do that,” he sighs, “and I’m your doctor, so I won’t either.”

You deflate, shoulders slouching, as you watch him. He doesn’t look at you as he turns straight and leans back. He purses his lips as his smile turns bittersweet.

“I’ll still think of you,” he says, “if you think of me.”

“I… I… okay,” you utter.

“Our little secret.”

“Yes,” you agree, “secret.”

He brings his hand to his chest and presses it flat. He drags it down his stomach as he exhales. You see how his pants bulge and the sight inflames you. That’s for you.

“Alright,” he peels his hand away and checks his watch, “can you go get Andy? It’s his turn.”

“Uh…” you flinch, “oh. Yeah…”

You stand, your thighs jittery. You move stiffly, pivoting on the balls of your feet. You pull the dress down as you shuffle towards the door.

“Sweetheart,” he calls to you before you can cross the office, “look what you did.”

You turn as he points to the cushion. You see the dark sheen where you’d sat, you feel the same slickness in your panties, seeping through. Your mouth falls open in shock.

“I’m sorry–”

He swipes his fingers along the streak and rubs the wet leather. He lifts his fingertips and leans forward, tasting you as he purrs. He pops his fingers out and winks.

“I’ll clean up your mess,” he smirks, “Andy won’t even notice.”

You snap your mouth shut and stagger. You turn away before you let that fire licking in your thighs get the best of you. You pull open the door and rush outside, nearly tripping as you do. Andy looks up from his phone, a brow tweaking in surprise.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Your turn,” you declare tersely and spin to sit on a chair.

“Alright,” he lowers his phone hesitantly, “everything good?”

“Yes, Andy, it’s good,” you chirp, “I love you.”

He stands and his fingers flutter at his side. “Love you too,” he words are stunted.

You stare at your toes until he’s gone. Until you’re certain the door is shut and you’re safe. You peek over at the nameplate and just reading his name makes you quiver. You’re no good at keeping secrets, but this one wouldn’t just hurt you, it would hurt Andy more.

🕊️

The weekend drags by sluggishly slow. Like those days when you used to sit and watch the shadows, too defeated to do anything else. Maybe it’s because you’re so restless or maybe because you feel like you’re carrying around some terrible weight. After your appointment, you just can’t escape yourself.

Every time you look at Andy, you feel a pang of shame. So you do your best to do better, just like you promised. You wash the dishes, mop the floors, twice before realising you already did that, and make every meal.

And you do the other stuff. The stuff Andy really likes but you can’t bring yourself to think of Dr. Kemp again. Even after he said it’s okay. Even if it makes it easier.

Sunday night, Andy falls asleep beside you. You’re awake, just as unsettled as the last day and a half. You toss and turn as he snores. You envy his oblivion. You wish you could have that. It seems so easy for him to just sleep. Like everything else in life, what’s near impossible for you, is simple for everyone else.

You huff and lay on your stomach, hoping to snuff yourself out with the pillow. It’s all those thoughts that just won’t stop. That undoneness. You tried but you just couldn’t get there with Andy.

You surrender and sit up. You’re not going to sleep. Despite your promises, despite your effort and desperation, you just can’t. You peek over your shoulder at Andy. His chest rises and falls as his snores keep tempo.

You stand, careful not to jostle the bed, and wrap yourself in a short pink robe. You wring your hands as you wade through the darkness. You’ll just watch some television or something, just until that fuzzy makes your eyes want to close.

You let yourself into the hall, shutting the door gently behind you. You take your tablet from the table where it charges and unlock it. You can do a bit of drawing too. You need to keep your hands and mind busy.

Downstairs, you settle in on the couch. You put on a syndicated sitcom and sit sideways against the armrest. You take your pen and scribble. That beak doesn’t look right and those feathers are all wrong. No! Why are its feet so uneven?

You slide the cover closed and throw your head back. You can’t even draw! You pout and turn to the television. You watch the figures on the screen but you don’t care about the story line. You already know what happens.

You shut it off and take the tablet to the kitchen. You enter the kitchen and put on the kettle. You bounce around as you wait for it to steam. Finally, you pour the water over a bag of chamomile. That’s what Amber always used to suggest; tea and a hot bath.

That’s it. A nice bath would do you well. You head upstairs, with your tablet and tea, and tiptoe into the bathroom. The house is so quiet it’s unnerving.

You set down the mug, the tag of the tea bag brushing your knuckle. You place your tablet flat on the edge of the counter and back up. You undress, the silence ringing in your ears. You can hear yourself swallow, hear the stickiness in your dry mouth, and the beating of your heart.

You bend over the tub and twist on the faucet. The water pours out and splashes off the porcelain. You stand up and shake off the droplets. It’s so violent and loud like a thunderstorm.

You shiver and rub your upper arms, hugging yourself. Your eyes wander to the steam wisping from the cup then along the tiled wall. Your attention pinpoints on the speaker. The little white square almost blends right into the tile.

When the tub’s full, you could listen to some music. Something quiet. You flick open the tablet and punch in the code. You pull down the menu and open your bluetooth settings. You hit search and wait for the devices to appear.

Several pop up. The television downstairs and a few smart lights you didn’t know about. A phone and lastly a device simply labeled ‘bathroom’. Strange. You don’t think much of it and tap connect.

A warning pops up; ‘To pair, the associated device app must be installed. Do you wish to proceed?’ You don’t think much of it. Everything these days is an additional download. You hit yet and open the app store.

Ojo. That’s a different name for an app. There’s an icon that looks like an eye. Hmmmm. You press install and wait for the little wheel to buffer.

You turn and check the temperature of the tub as the water gets higher. You add some soap for bubbles and return to the download. Done. You require only a quick update before it opens.

‘Device is full. Would you like to back up saved files to the cloud?’

You reread the prompt several times. You don’t understand. What files? It’s a speaker, isn’t it? Amber had a cheap one like it in the kitchen that she got out of a case of soda.

You hit yes, just wanting to get rid of the hovering window. The pop-up closes and you’re faced with a whole screen of thumbnails. A library of files. Videos. You don’t think much of it until you recognise yourself in one of them. Your face staring right back at you.

You reach for the screen but hesitate to touch it. You’re frozen in disbelief and denial. You don’t want this to be real. You bring your finger down and just as quickly rescind your arm.

You watch the video fill the screen as you appear clearer. You back up, completely naked as you hold a bottle of soap. You’re completely unaware of being observed as you squeeze out a dollop and lather up your skin.

You frantically hit back and lift the tablet. You bring it closer as you squint at the other thumbnails. It’s you, over and over, bathing, showering, even scrubbing down the tub. And then, that other video. You and Andy.

You want to scream and you almost do. It’s not a speaker at all! He lied to you. He knows you struggle. That being naked just in front of him is torture. He knows all that and he still did this.

You hear a drip and wince. Shoot! You quickly twist off the faucet as the tub begins to overflow. You reach into the water and pull the stopper. The sleeve and half the robe are soaked.

You back up and grip the sink behind you. Your face contorts with unspent tears. You feel a snap inside. Sharp and jarring.

What do you do? Break the camera? Tell Andy you know? Tell him to take it down? And how will that go?

Just like the water in the tub, it all comes flooding in. Andy lied! If he could lie about that darn speaker, he must be lying about everything.

And he knows. He always knows how much you hate everything and he does it anyway. It’s clear now and you don’t know why you ever believed him. Why you do any of this?

You were just so desperate for things to work. You only ever wanted to figure your life out. So you convinced yourself that he would save you. You're just as stupid as you ever were.

No, no, you’re spiraling. You’re not thinking straight. He must have a good reason for all this, right? Maybe it has nothing to do with you? It’s a security camera. In the bathroom?

You grab the tablet and rush out of the bathroom. You scurry downstairs and into the living room. You pace around, hugging the tablet in one arm as you try to sort out your thoughts. You’re humiliated, angry, hurt, everything all at once. You’re almost delirious as you try to sort through it.

You don’t know what to think anymore. You stop and grip the tablet firmly. You flick through the menu and tap on the messenger app. The chat log is gone. All of it. But Dr. Kemp remains in your contacts.

You open the conversation. He won’t answer this late but you can wait for an answer. As long as you get one.

‘He lied.’

That’s all you can type out. It’s the only way you can put it into words. Your chest hurts and your stomach is sour. You want to puke, you want to stop breathing, you want to cry and shout and break things.

‘Are you okay, sweetheart?’ His message blips up. You don’t think about how late it is, you don’t care.

‘No.’ You answer bluntly.

His next reply isn’t so quick. You think maybe he won’t respond. Your eyes begin to burn as tears threaten to spill over. You look around and bile rises in your throat. Acid brews inside of you and boils to fury.

You hate this place. You hate it and you always have. You never should have come.

You don’t wait for an answer.

‘Get me out of here.’

#step into my library #that beginning #oh my GOD #she feels like she’s gonna faint #i feel like i’m gonna faint #beside myself with what dr. kemp is saying #and then she finds the camera #goodness gracious #get her out of there #love that she’s finally realizing she wants to and can actually leave #that andy’s been lying from the start #even though dr. kemp isn’t the best option #he’s a good one for now

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