My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

Please I just want to feel fucking safe and looked after I’m so sick of being terrified

Everything is tooooo much and I'm annoyed!!

I’m sick of this limbo, where every rabbit-trail of thought end with me back in that concrete cage.

I’m sick of tensing up whenever a cop drives by, involuntarily remembering the helplessness of sitting in the backseat.

I’m sick of plastering on smiles and soliciting money from strangers - who never consented to being accosted - in the hopes that I’ll save the lives of people I’ll never see; all the while pretending that I’m not scared of every passerby.

I’m sick of these sudden, hammering headaches that remind me of his fists. Have you ever been punched in the face? It feels like your head is inside a drum.

I’m sick of waking up thrashing, punching, yelling with my mouth closed after dreaming about being in a hopeless amount of trouble.

I’m sick of experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder, over and over again.

Brb having nightmares about the same person who used to wake me up from them

god i love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home

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