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fiftyftqueenie-blog · 7 years

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Tiffany Ström

Tiffany is vocalist and bassist for FVNERALS, a Glasgow based band who blend doom, post-rock, shoegaze and dark ambience. Their slow-burning soundscapes are both oppressive and ethereal, with Tiffany’s haunting vocals providing beauty and emotion. FVNERALS are touring the UK & Europe in September with First Temple of the Atom, and again in December with Emma Ruth Rundle.

Listen to second album ‘Wounds’ here:- https://fvnerals.bandcamp.com/

Photo copyright of Claire Maxwell, 2017.

How has your involvement in music affected other parts of your life? I.e. has it affected your decisions around having children/ what you do for work/ relationships? Have you had to sacrifice anything creatively because of other commitments, or in other aspects of life because of your music? Do you think this is different for men?

TS Music is my main priority and I try as best as I can to make it my only real commitment. In order to be able to write, rehearse, record, tour and gig regularly, I’ve deliberately chosen a job that gives me very little responsibilities and is flexible with holidays. All my time off goes towards my band and because this is what I like to do the most it has never felt like I was making sacrifices. It’s not always easy to stay focused and creative when I come home exhausted but I always try to remember why I do what I do and what it brings to my life.

I don’t think any of this is much different for men. In the end, I think anyone passionate about making music will encounter the same obstacles regardless of their gender.

How do you recover from creative failures?

TS I usually take a break and start again. If I'm overly frustrated that break can last for a couple of weeks, sometimes months...so I guess I'm not the best at recovering from failures. It takes a lot of willpower, encouragement and then eventually I find myself creating again.

At what age did you start playing music, and do you remember how this felt? How long did it take you to start performing in public?

TS I’ve been singing for as long as I can remember and when I was 9, my dad bought me a guitar. I just remember being really into music and being able to create my own songs was all I wanted to do.

I gave my first musical stage performance when I was 13, with a punk band I was playing guitar in. We were terrible, but I was young and excited so that didn’t matter much. After that I continued performing with various bands but also on my own as a singer songwriter.

Tell us about three women who inspire you.

TS Bjork -- An artist I've followed since I was a teenager. She really inspires me in the way that she's always been herself, uncompromising, with a sound that is really original and explorative. I never get enough.

Shannon Wright -- Amazing songwriter and I love her raw style and guitar playing.

Virginia Woolf -- One of my favourite writers. She did what she believed in, at a time when there wasn’t much room for creative women.

Ask yourself 3 questions and tell us the answers.

TS What are you reading at the moment?

-- ‘City of Mirrors’ by Justin Cronin. It’s the last book in the Passage trilogy and I’ve been waiting for it for more than a year! It’s a mix of apocalyptic/ post-apocalyptic horror and fantasy.

TS What’s the most recent album you bought?

-- Cigarettes after Sex - ‘EP I’. I came across their music while listening to a mix on You Tube and I really liked it. They’re releasing a new album in June which I’m really looking forward to hear.

TS What’s up next for FVNERALS?

We just did a southern UK tour in July with London-based Wren. The next is going to be in September around Europe. I’m really excited...I can’t wait to get out and play again.

Share something with us.

‘Contusion’ by Sylvia Plath

Colour floods to the spot, dull purple. The rest of the body is all washed out, The colour of pearl.

In a pit of rock The sea sucks obsessively, One hollow the whole sea's pivot.

The size of a fly, The doom mark Crawls down the wall. The heart shuts, The sea slides back, The mirrors are sheeted.

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fiftyftqueenie-blog · 7 years

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Gill Dread

Gill is vocalist and guitarist in Bruxa Maria, a heavy punk/ noise band from London who released their debut album Human Condition in May 2016 and recently played Raw Power Festival. Gill has a background in visual art and also does tour driving for bands.

Check them out here:- https://bruxamaria.bandcamp.com/album/human-condition

Does ritual play a part in your creative life?

Routine is a big help to me as I suffer from ADD, so to have a routine that your muscle memory kinda does without thinking, means I have less to remember and less to be constantly mindful of, without fucking shit up. It does become important for both comfort and practical reasons, so in a way can become ritualistic I guess. Making lists are also a big help to me. Ritualistic list making… hehe.

What barriers have you faced (both internal and external) to participating in music? This might be any number of intersecting issues, e.g. race, gender, sexuality, geography, family responsibilities, finance, confidence, etc.

I think the biggest barrier to all Art really, particularly in the UK, is money!! So many other European countries are going through the same or worse economic troubles as the UK, but still see the importance of funding Art and culture. The UK has a particularly brutal form of capitalism where the value of all things, including time spent, is measured purely in a monetary way. When people struggle to put a monetary price on something, it is quickly ridiculed and rejected. The media also loves to pick up on the most conceptual toss examples of Art, in order to ridicule all Art as a whole -- such as the tradition of the Turner prize always having a conceptual-wank entry, which people are offended by. Or the X-Factor effect where people think you are waste of space if you say you are a musician, but are not aiming and succeeding at bringing in a big pop market. It’s literally to the point here in the UK, that if you say you are a musician or an Artist, people roll their eyes back in their head and basically mark you down as dole blagging scum with delusions of grandeur, and no knowledge of what hard work really is. It really can become quite soul destroying.

It is particularly ridiculous coming from the UK as we are a country that has produced many amazing and massively influential sub cultures through music, that have reached out and really touched people, helped people, saved people even. From our more political brand of Punk, to the massive revolution in music through rave culture. Both were quickly shut down here in the UK. The ‘Sex Pistol’s tune ‘God Save the Queen’ was banned from being number One in the charts and John Lydon pretty much threatened and run out of the country; to the criminal justice bill stopping gatherings and raves…. If something amazing or creative occurs, the UK wants to shut it down. Yet other countries get funding and the means to take these sub cultures and explore much further, question why it has occurred and actually embrace such phenomena. Add to this the fact that so many visitors and tourists to the UK are here because of our musical history and subcultures. The UK constantly shoots itself in the foot. It is horrific and yes, quite soul destroying. Life is also about living, congregating, enjoying, dancing, singing… without this, what is the point? Without this, people forget why they live, community is lost, the society as a whole gets sick, and begins to fail in quite a horrific manner.

How has your involvement in music affected other parts of your life? Have you had to sacrifice anything creatively because of other commitments, or in your everyday life because of your music?

Work wise, there are many people who are happy pursuing a money-making career that vaguely involves music or Art, and don’t mind about the commerciality of what they are working on. This is still a competitive area to get into and requires a lot of hours of your life to get anywhere. But for some, this kind of involvement can ruin their enjoyment or passion for Art, as for many it is the freedom and creativity that people are inspired by and enjoy. For the latter there are a lot of tough decisions and sacrifices people have to make, unless they have the good fortune of accessing a whole lot of money. I could see very early in life that I was going to do pretty basic jobs to live and fund my Art. I struggled at school, and was later diagnosed as dyslexic and ADD, so I took what I was good at – Art – and took it as far as I could educationally, studying Art to degree level. I was lucky to live in a time where further education was free. Unfortunately, the goalposts of what you need to survive in this country have been massively messed with. I grew up in a time where you could keep things simple, no frills, have a basic income and spend some time and money on your artistic passion. Now it seems that you HAVE to be going hell-for-leather for a money-making, time consuming career or you will suffer for it.

So yes, many musicians I know have chosen work that can fit alongside their work as a musician and often results in low pay. A lot go into teaching as they at least they have the school holidays to work on their Art or go on tour. Care work is also popular. I think for a lot of people, if their job isn’t their passion, they need to feel that they are at least doing something positive and good for their community or they quickly lose the plot. That was definitely the case for me. I have done work at after school clubs, care work, and have mostly worked as a van driver, so I now drive bands on tour.

If all barriers (both internal and external) were removed, what would you love to create?

Architecture, screen plays, books, paintings, installations, sooo many more records… I would love to release records in 12inch singles and make the most of each tune in that 90s dance music/hip hop/RnB way where you have a tune, an acapella version, an instrumental version and a dance re mix (but a good one not a shit one)… I love turntable culture…where each record is almost like an instrument in itself, that you can experiment with and take further by mixing it with other things. I would love to have the money to offer people my music in that format where it can be taken further by other creative minds. Plus there would be so much more art work to do on each cover…. Yessss!!!

How do you recover from creative failures?

Get over yourself. Being a perfectionist is counter-intuitive to true creativity and can be quite egotistical too. Like you can only show the world complete perfection coming from you…? Yeah get your head out your arse!!! People learn from mistakes… if you don’t make mistakes you probably are not learning or improving.

Some of my favourite music and art has been the rough recordings, or the sketch book work rather than the final piece. Share it all, warts n’ all, so we can all learn, share and progress. Something you see as a failure can be really inspiring to others, even if it’s just the approachability it gives. So yeah basically you just tell yourself not to be so precious, get over yourself, don’t be so controlling, live, work, learn and improve.

Tell us about three women who inspire you.

It’s a weird one for me, as I have personally never needed to be specifically inspired by someone of the same gender as me. To me it is as relevant as needing to be inspired by someone with the same hair colour. My Mum (RIP) brought me up very well and was a lovely human being which I am very thankful for.

Vocally, I started to look closer at PJ Harvey and Siouxsie Sioux to reference how someone with a female vocal range and physical build, can still hold gravitas and heaviness vocally. I am quite small and when competing with very loud, heavy music, often what cuts through can sound quite screechy and child-like if I’m not careful. This isn’t such a problem live, but in recording it really didn’t cut it for me. I listened to both PJ and Siouxsie and noticed they sing quite deeply at points. So, I started to layer up vocals, some deep, some shouting, some singing or softly spoken and really got into it.

I particularly love Arab and Spanish flamenco style vocals, male and female. It seriously brings tears to my eyes. Maybe one day I’ll run away with some gypsies and learn to sing like this…. As long as I can also have a herd of cats… Mad Cat Lady is my retirement plan...I look forward to it! I find the female flamenco style Spanish look very influential. I love how they look both feminine and strong.

I like a lot of the female characters in the comic books ‘Love and Rockets’ as well (it’s a Mexican rather than Spanish influence.) The Hernandez brothers were all brought up by a strong Mother figure and you can really see that in their female characters. It is almost an assumption that the community is pulled together and held up by the women in those comics.

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fiftyftqueenie-blog · 7 years

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Bethan Louise

Bethan plays drums in Dark Mother, a bleak and heavy doom band from Nottingham, and has a solo electronic project called annwn. Dark Mother released a split 7″ with fellow Notts band Shrykull in January via Vetala and Rad Nauseum records, described by Ninehertz as featuring “a towering, sloth riff... blackening the sky, battering away on each revolution.” She hits “harder than most blokes” (according to a guy in the crowd at their last London show...) and will never, ever, use hi-hats...

Check out the new Dark Mother record here - https://darkmother.bandcamp.com/album/dark-mother-shrykull-split-2

annwn - https://annwnannwn.bandcamp.com

Photo courtesy of Pawel Dziurawiec, 2015

Does ritual play a part in your creative life?

BL I don’t really have specific rituals I adhere to, but I do have ways I like to listen to music. I can rarely just have music on in the background, it’ll distract me. I need to give music my full attention, so I’ll just listen. The action of putting on a record, lighting some incense and just lying there and clearing your mind of everything but the music, can be ritualistic in itself. Ritual doesn’t have to be complicated.

What does your internal critic say and how do you overcome this?

BL I can be very hard on myself! Although I’m very proud of it now, I remember not even being able to listen to our demo straight after we’d recorded it, as all I could hear was what I thought I could’ve done better. Negativity from within can only be overcome by drumming even more. Just hitting the drums harder, faster, getting better. I hope I never stop criticising myself, it gives me fuel to be the best drummer I can be.

If you could tell your younger self something to encourage her, or something you wish she’d known, what would it be?

BL I’d tell myself to have the confidence to take that first step, and just get out there and make music. I wish that I’d been in bands sooner. Music has been so important to me my whole life - it’s shaped everything about me. I drummed at home, and always imagined myself being in a band, but never thought I’d actually do it, because my confidence was so low. I was so nervous before my first practice with Holly [of Dark Mother], but through playing with her, and through drumming, I’ve gained so much self-discipline and self-confidence. I don’t regret anything, but I wish I’d known I had it in me all along to play music that I love.

Tell us about three women who inspire you.

BL I genuinely find this question so difficult to answer! There are so many women I’m inspired by. I’m going to give a cop-out answer and say that I’m inspired by any women I see playing music, because it’s absolutely true. I get so excited when I see women playing music! Equalfest was amazing, and although I’m sad that an event like that has to exist, it was so positive. I hope Holly and other women I’ve shared a stage with (like Shannon from Monolithian, or Tanya from Bismuth) or just watched on stage, know how much they inspire me and other women. You are all amazing and so important.

Describe an object which is precious to you.

BL My sticks, although I don’t have a particular pair that’s precious to me, they all get destroyed quickly! As long as they’re 2Bs, so they’re nice, chunky and loud. To me they represent all that drumming has given me. I have bad anxiety and can be very shy, but that’s all gone when I drum. I hardly ever get nervous or anxious before a show, and when I’m drumming it’s all I think about, it’s the only thing that matters to me in the world.

Ask yourself three questions and tell us the answers.

BL What were some of your favourite things about touring?

-- Playing every night was the best thing without a doubt. I could have carried on for ages. And making new friends and meeting lovely people of the DIY scene around the country was so ace. It really made me realise I could live in a way that made me happy, just making music, because there were people doing the same everywhere.

BL What made you decide you wanted to write music?

-- I’m not always very good with words, they get stuck in my mind. Music (both drumming and the electronic music I write) is a good way to get stuff out.

BL What was it like discovering your scene for the first time?

-- Amazing! I’m from Cardiff, and although I listened to punk and metal all the time. I didn’t know how to access the DIY scene, or where there were gigs going on, because none of my friends liked the same kind of music as me. I came to Nottingham for uni when I was 23, and by some great luck ended up living next door to someone who was into the same music I was. She took me to a gig at Stuck on a Name studios and it was amazing. People who liked the same music as me, had the same political beliefs as me… it’s like I’ve found my family.

BL Bonus question: Will you ever use a hi-hat?

-- NO! NO HI-HATS NO MASTERS.

Share something with us.

I’ve chosen a few lines from the Richard Thompson song ‘Beeswing’

Brown hair zig-zag around her face and a look of half-surprise, Like a fox caught in the headlights, there was animal in her eyes. She said Young man, oh can't you see I'm not the factory kind, If you don't take me out of here I'll surely lose my mind… And I said that we might settle down, get a few acres dug, Fire burning in the hearth and babies on the rug. She said Oh man, you foolish man, it surely sounds like hell. You might be lord of half the world, you'll not own me as well And they say her flower is faded now, hard weather and hard booze, But maybe that's just the price you pay for the chains you refuse.

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fiftyftqueenie-blog · 7 years

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Jill Mikkelson

Jill is a vocalist, guitarist and promoter who has been involved in the underground/extreme music scenes in the UK and Canada for over 15 years. Her recent bands include Dysteria and hate fuck, and she currently works as in-house promoter for The Unicorn, Camden. She’s one of the organisers of Chimpyfest and Equal Fest, and makes sure her booking policy is representative. Thanks Jill!

Here she discusses internalised misogyny, effective activism as a privileged white feminist, and maintaining hope in the face of global catastrophes...

Check out the latest Dysteria album here:- https://dysteria.bandcamp.com

Are you aware of the ‘male gaze’ while performing, and does this influence any of your behaviours? I.e. the clothes you choose to perform in, the way you move your body, the things you write about.

JM I feel like I’ve always been acutely aware of this, before I’d even heard the term ‘male gaze’ or even the term ‘feminism’. You grow up reading magazines or watching television telling you “how to look cute for your crush,” giving you blanket generalizations of what guys supposedly like, listening to ruthless criticisms of women’s appearances, etc. and it adds up. Growing up in alternative rock/punk/metal amplifies that. You end up hanging around mostly boys/men at these shows and I remember the general message being very critical of women. I remember the general message being that if a woman was dressed in anything other than a t-shirt and jeans she was obviously vying for male attention, she wasn’t there for the music. No hesitation with “nice tits though!” immediately afterwards. I internalised a lot of this misogyny and looked at women through that lens as well. Girls are brought up being told we’re in competition with one another, so when I saw girls wearing an outfit I wouldn’t feel comfortable in I’d jump to the same dismissive, nasty conclusions. I was not going to be ‘the object’, I was going to be the equal. Performing the ‘cool girl’, essentially.

When I was playing in my early twenties, I was very conscientious of not looking too ‘girly’ because I wanted to be ‘one of the dudes’, and I didn’t want anyone to think I was a schtick; “they got a girl singer so they could get more attention” is something I heard more than once. Now that I’m middle aged, I’m just mostly lazy and going for maximum comfort when it comes to clothes. I also no longer care about the approval of men, but I do think about how I take up space. I perform with the express intention of looking as intimidating and ugly as possible. If you’re commanding space in a way that women aren’t supposed to it’s generally seen as a bad thing: you’re an attention seeking bitch, you’re crazy, you’re scary, etc. Fuck that. I’m reclaiming that shit. It’s ugly music and subject matter. I am not a prop. I have something to say and you’re going to listen. That being said, if I’m playing guitar I can’t do much besides look at what I’m playing! In Dysteria we have a song that isn’t about women as objects of male pleasure per se, but that’s part of the bigger picture of living in a man’s world, and it’s about people like Charlotte Perkins Gilman and Emily Davidson, women driven to extremes in large part because of the way they were denigrated and dismissed by men.

What does your internal critic say and how do you overcome this?

JM My internal critic can be very cruel and going back to what I was saying about girls being taught to be in competition with one another, I think this is another hangover from the messages we receive from culture and media, the ones saying you’re never good enough. I think it also has to do with seeing women in music criticised much more harshly than men, and in a lot of ways, not seeing any women at all. There’s this expectation I put on myself to be perfect all the time because if I’m not at my best, I feel like I will be dismissed immediately. No second chances or having a bad day, just “oh, look, there’s gimmick girl and she sucks.” It’s not as bad as it was when I was younger, partly because in the 15 years since I started playing the number of women participating has exploded. I only knew of five other women in Canada in the early 2000’s in underground heavier bands. I say underground because Kittie was big at the time and that was pretty cool. I’m sure there were others kicking around but as the saying goes, “you can’t be what you can’t see.” I didn’t see other women around me being confident and self-assured and just fully raging. Now they’re everywhere and as cheesy as it may sound, it really does give me strength. Age has also helped – I think everyone becomes more comfortable in their own skin as they grow older, learn more, and watch the ‘fucks given’ meter plummet another 20 points below zero with every year that passes.

If you could tell your younger self something to encourage her, or something you wish she’d known, what would it be?

Practice self care. Don’t waste your time. Appreciate the process. Do not compare your life to others. You are not the centre of the world. Empathy first. Listen. Set goals. Work to achieve them. REPS REPS REPS.

Tell us about three women who inspire you.

JM Candice Kucsulain – She’s the first woman I remember hearing do a “screaming” vocal or whatever you want to call it. Not like the punk rock yell, but a proper gruff, traditionally male bark. When I saw her, I thought “I can do this” so I’d sit around and scream along to records in my room until I felt confident enough to reply to a post looking for a singer on a message board (bless the early noughties.) It’s kinda funny ‘cos I only found out recently she’s become a competitive powerlifter, which is something else I’ve come to love, and now sixteen years later she’s giving me inspiration once again. The fact that seeing her made me feel like I could do what I wanted is also a big reason: I’m a huge believer in celebrating/fighting for women to be more represented in heavy music. It makes me sad to hear people say ‘positive discrimination is still discrimination’ as if we can just brush our currently woeful state of gender affairs under the carpet and with no effort at all somehow things will correct themselves. Every single freedom women now have was hard-fought for. Those in power don’t just give it up or make space. You have to demand it and take it. The women who have come before and are existing now in any male dominated sphere are important role models for how to get this done and should be/need to be lifted up/centred. Their stories are important! Representation matters!

Courtney Love – I realise a lot of people find her distasteful but I think it’s funny how attention craving, erratic behaviour, whatever, is seen as edgy and cool when dudes do it, but if a woman dares to enter this territory she’s an unhinged bitch! She was outspoken, went after what she wanted and got it, and people hate her for it. Not to say she didn’t have problems, or do some seriously fucked up shit, but coming into adolescence in the early nineties and finding solace in rock, she personified and made into music every angsty teenage feeling I had. It felt uglier than the rest of riotgrrl stuff going on, which I didn’t really get into and still don’t really dig. Whenever I was pissed off about anything I’d listen to ‘Live Through This’ on repeat. It was amazing to see this woman who did not give a fuck about what anyone thought about her and just made really powerful, yet vulnerable music. She was out there with all her faults. She was real. If I’d come across her at this point in my life I might not be so forgiving, but she was a huge deal to teenage Jill and a big reason I wanted to play music.

Serena Williams – I’m not sure why, but I felt like I should answer with someone who wasn’t a celebrity, but I just kept coming back to her, so fuck it. I love her! I know some people would argue about whether musicians and sports folk are deserving of the social reverence/monetary compensation, and of course the world would probably be a better place if all the lady scientists/activists/authors/etc. of the world got as much attention than the three I’ve chosen, but here we are. I shouldn’t apologise really. Anyways, as mentioned in regards to Candice, I’ve recently developed a love for athletics and as far as I’m concerned, she’s the queen of athletes. I don’t even like tennis but have the utmost respect for what it takes to excel at the game. You have to be at peak levels of physical and mental fitness in terms of strength, endurance, agility, everything. The amount of work that goes into achieving this is awe inspiring. She’s the most accomplished woman in any sport really, and she’s faced down all the brutal racism and sexism she’s had to endure throughout her career. She’s always stood her ground and had no qualms about telling people to shove it when she needed to. Strength of mind and body makes her the ultimate badass in my books. Inspiration in every way!

Ask yourself some questions and tell us the answers.

JM How do I pay it forward?

-- I ask myself this question every day. I have experienced a great deal of privilege in my life and know the process of figuring out how to best acknowledge and use these advantages in hopes of making the world a more just, or at least slightly brighter place, is a journey with no end. Getting ready to start a new chapter in my life, I’ve tried to keep this at the forefront of my goals and plans and I think I might have figured out a small part of how I can begin to do this in a meaningful way, using strengths I’m only just discovering. Getting old is awesome, by the way. Stay tuned.

JM How can I participate in the ongoing resistance to oppressive state and capitalist structures of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, etc. most effectively?

-- “Activism is not about how many panel discussions you can do. It's about centering the stories and voices of people who are MOST affected.” - I read this in an article by brittany t. oliver the other day about what needs to be done after the women’s marches and I think it really sums up the best mindset with which to move forward. I know a disproportionate amount of attention is given to white feminism, that solidarity is not enough and there are conversations where my opinion isn’t needed. I know the people who are leading social justice and have been putting in the work are the most marginalised. I know I need to listen and follow their lead but finding my place in helping to tip the power dynamics (building social, political and economic power for the oppressed) is something I am still trying to figure out. In the past I’ve done benefits, written songs, supported my union, blah blah blah, but I feel like those are lame cop-outs and know I can be doing more. That being said, I was listening to the Australian indigenous activist Gary Foley speak the other day, and as he said, “…all you can do is try and bring as many people with you.” I guess the fact that I’m asking myself this question at all is a start.

JM How do I maintain hope when all seems lost? What’s the point of even trying?

-- Aaaannnd another question I ask myself every day. I’m pretty sure everyone is feeling fairly hopeless these days when it comes to humanity in general. When you see governments, and what seems like most of the people around you, all looking at the short term, burrowing their heads in the sand, buying into lies peddled to maintain the status quo because it’s easier or because they don’t know any better, it’s seriously hard not to despair. So, I remind myself that most don’t have the privilege of giving up – it would literally mean death. I remind myself that even though there’s still a long way to go and that many women worldwide are still suffering, 100 years ago, I would have been considered some man’s property, so things can, and do change. I remind myself that there are millions and millions of people working tirelessly and lovingly every day to make the world around us even just a little bit better. I can’t honestly say I have hope all the time, I’m not sure anyone can, but I try to practice gratitude and really relish those moments when you can see beauty in others. Your brain is hard wired to remember negatives more than positives so hold the good ‘uns real close!

Share something with us.

JM I want everyone to put/keep the pressure on Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada, and make him honour the 94 recommendations of the Truth and Reconciliation Committee like he said he would. If you don’t know what the TRC is or what the recommendations are please read about it here:-

http://www.trc.ca/websites/trcinstitution/index.php?p=3

I want everyone to talk about justice for indigenous peoples and climate justice, keep it on their radar and get involved. It was great seeing so much support for Standing Rock but we need to keep listening to and amplifying their voices, and come up with realistic strategies to keep fighting. I stole this exact sentence from something I wrote for our record: it’s our responsibility to learn the truths of ‘nation building,’ to acknowledge its destructive legacy, to make space and listen to the stories and counter-narratives of survivors who continue to endure institutionalised racism and marginalisation, and to be allies in dismantling colonialism and imperialism.

“Decolonization is a lifelong struggle filled with uncertainty and risk taking.” - Paulette Regan, 'Unsettling the Settler Within.'

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fiftyftqueenie-blog · 7 years

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Holly Johnson

Holly is guitarist and vocalist in Dark Mother, a stripped-back and heavy duo from Nottingham with drummer Bethan Louise (who will be featured here soon.) She combines a guitar style reminiscent of a fuzzed-up ‘Rid of Me’ era PJ Harvey, with a whiskey-and-smoke voice capable of husky sweet melody and raw emotion.

Listen to Dark Mother’s recent split with Shrykull here:

https://darkmother.bandcamp.com/album/dark-mother-shrykull-split-2

Does ritual play a part in your creative life?

HJ Absolutely not. I am chaos. There is no rhyme or reason to my creative side or way of thinking… My mind is on 10 different things at once, all the time. That's why I am lucky to have my beautiful drummer to bring me back down to earth sometimes!

What does your internal critic say and how do you overcome this?

HJ I have always struggled with self-confidence when it comes to music. In my mind, I used to think I wasn't as good as my male counterparts, but that's just silly. I am different. Yeah, I don't shred like Dave Mustaine, but my style is raw and atmospheric and my own. I have really grown to love it. One time, one of my friends complimented my performance at a gig… I just shrugged it off and said "Cheers dude but it was just meh... Could have been better." He put me in my place by telling me – don't criticise or diminish someone's compliment, because if they felt it was good, then it was good. Just accept it with dignity and confidence and move on. I have never downed myself when complimented again, after that.

If you could tell your younger self something to encourage her, or something you wish she’d known, what would it be?

HJ Don't wait around for a band to make music! I started off as a drummer. I was what you call a "band geek" in America – I played in concert band and jazz band at school. Then at 13 I decided I enjoyed singing more than anything in the world, so I should pick up a guitar and try to write my own music. In high school I thought I would be able to start a band, but it was kind of a boys’ club at my school – no other girls were really playing rock music and none of the boys wanted a girl in their band, so I just stuck to my bedroom writing songs… I played a few talent shows at school but never played gigs... That's something I will always regret – not just going for it as a solo artist despite really wanting a hard-hitting band. I always played solo songs while in-between bands, but I never recorded them or played out until 4 years ago. I wish I would have started earlier and tried to put myself out there sooner... Better late than never though EH!

Tell us about three women who inspire you.

HJ Lots of women inspire me. It’s really hard to pinpoint 3 stand-out females that have inspired and motivated me...let's see what I can come up with. The Deal sisters – Kim and Kelly Deal are a huge inspiration to me. Not only are they my favourite female musicians, but they are from my home state. Seeing them live was truly spiritual for me…front row, singing all the lyrics to all my favourite Breeders songs! Kim took a lot of flak from Frank Black for how successful she was with the Breeders as well as the Pixies. He was jealous and spiteful...hence why they will never be the same without Kim. She gets shit for having an attitude and being brash or whatever, but fucks sake – why are women expected to be as sweet as sunshine all the fucking time...get over it! All the best creative types are assholes...

Kim Gordon. She is a fucking QUEEN! The End.

Kathleen Hannah. She was the first riot girl I was ever exposed to. Bikini Kill’s album ‘Pussy Whipped’ really made me feel empowered as a woman and really kick-started my identity as a feminist.... I’d never really thought about the feminist movement until then... I agreed with everything it stood for, I just didn't realise it was a movement and happening without me!

Tell us about a precious object.

HJ My guitar – I moved to England a little over a year ago, with no gear to my name. I had to sell all my equipment to move over here and it took me ages to finally have a job that paid well enough to buy a new guitar. Luckily one of my friends owns a recording studio/rehearsal space, so he was kind enough to let me borrow his gear while I slowly accumulate a larger collection. I just recently got this guitar in January. It feels really good to have something that's YOURS that you worked hard to get. My pride and joy! My new baby!

Ask yourself some questions and tell us the answers.

HJ What advice would I give to other women in the music scene?

-- Pick up an instrument, paper, pen, anything creative! Get to being a part of your scene. Make flyers, start a band, cook meals for touring bands, start a zine, organize group meetings about things that matter to you, anything your heart desires! Even if you don't fancy yourself as much of a musician, there is still loads of stuff you can do to contribute to your scene/ communities. Go talk to people… make new friends and put yourself out there. You never know what can happen!

HJ If you could make music with any musician(s), past or present, who would it be?

-- DEVO/ Mark Mothersbaugh! Now a lot of people cannot understand my obsession with this band, but they are, once again, from my home state… (I have a lot of pride for my state’s music scenes) and most people only remember them for the song ‘Whip It’ which was a radio hit in the year 1980. They have so, so, so much better songs than that! I know it’s a cliché to say about a band that everyone else deems a one-hit-wonder, but Devo have been around since the late 70's and they’re still spouting the same lyrical themes about the Devolution of the human race... They’re quirky and weird and intelligent, and each time I’ve seen them live, it’s better and better. Mark Mothersbaugh was the standout artist from that band, and he went on to create TV/movie soundtracks and visual art exhibits. Pure genius. I would love to sit in a room and just jam with him/them. If I could manage to stop crying with excitement first that is.... Seriously... Check out his work and the work of the band!! They are still releasing stuff! DO IT!

HJ What places would you like to play/tour the most?

-- When I was living in Ohio all I ever wanted was to tour Europe and travel the world. I still very much want to do all of that. Being homesick is a real thing and boy does it change the way you feel about places. The place I want to tour most now is America – I want my best friends to see my band live and see what I've created while living on this side of the pond. I want to see my best friends Tugboat and Jimmy front row going ape shit at a Dark Mother gig. That is my dream.

Share something with us.

HJ This is a recipe for a hometown favorite, called a Buckeye, which is the state "Nut" of Ohio. You guys call them "conkers." At least that’s what my husband says! ;-) Although the real thing is not edible, this look-alike is for all you peanut butter and chocolate fans!! If you like REESES CUPS, these are just for you!! Literally the easiest thing to make and they’ll make you a hit among friends and family!

1 1/2 cups of Peanut Butter

1 cup of butter (can substitute for vegan butter)

1/2 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

6 cups of confectioners’ sugar

4 cups of Dark Chocolate

- Mix together the peanut butter, butter, vanilla, and confectioners’ sugar.

- Roll into 1 inch balls.

- Place onto wax paper.

- Stick in freezer for 30 mins

- Melt chocolate in bowl stirring frequently until smooth.

- Dip peanut butter balls into chocolate (I use a toothpick to hold PB ball to help with this part)

- Stick back onto wax paper and allow to chill in the fridge for 15 mins before eating!

ENJOY!!!

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fiftyftqueenie-blog · 7 years

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Tanya Byrne

Our first interview is with Tanya Byrne, bassist/ vocalist of Bismuth, Monoliths, Megalodoom, A Hundred Black Kites & more. Tanya is able to create a hypnotic, one-woman wall of noise through massive backline set-ups and pedal mastery. Here she discusses the women that inspire her, overcoming self-criticism, and her love of amplifiers.

What does your internal critic say and how do you overcome this?

TB My internal critic is pretty hard on me, she tells me that whatever I write will never be good enough, and sometimes that I shouldn’t even try! The only thing I can really do to silence this voice is to keep on writing. It’s healthy to have some self-doubt, as long as it pushes you to improve, but it’s important not to listen to your internal critic for too long!

If you could tell your younger self something to encourage her, or something you wish she’d known, what would it be?

TB I wish that my younger self realised sooner that she is a musician in her own right, and that she does not need to rely on, or gain the permission of others to be creative. I would tell her that her ideas have as much merit as anyone else she plays with, and that anyone doesn’t respect her opinion, or flat out ignores any suggestions she makes is not worth dealing with. I would tell her that playing in a band is about sharing ideas, and not about doing things that make you creatively unhappy, in an attempt to please others.

It took me far too long to gain enough self-confidence to write the kind of music I always wanted to play. For many, many years I was under the delusion that I played in bands, because I was surrounded by other musical people, and not because I’m a musician in my own right. Within the last seven years or so, my confidence has grown enough to allow me focus on what I actually want to write.

How do you recover from creative failures?

TB Unfortunately, for most people, failure is part of both the creative and learning processes. It’s always hard to pick yourself up when something you care about does not turn out the way you wanted, especially if you have worked really hard on it. It can be difficult not to become disheartened. However, I try not to dwell too much on failures. Instead, I think it’s useful to take creative disappointments as guides on what to do differently next time. In this way, I learn from past mistakes, and hopefully improve as a musician.

Tell us about three women who inspire you.

TB Runhild Gammelsæter was not only the vocalist in Thorr’s Hammer and Khylst, but she creates her own solo drones under the moniker Amplicon. As well as her musical achievements, Runhild is a professional biologist. She is an immense inspiration to me as not only is she is an excellent musician, but she is also a scientist. As an aspiring volcanologist, it’s really exciting to see another woman who combines a love of drone/ doom/ experimental music with a clear love of science. The first time I heard Thorr’s Hammer, I rapidly became obsessed, as her voice adds so much to the music. The contrast between her clean and heavy vocals still draw me back to “Norge” time and time again.

Going off topic from music for a little while, another woman that has had a great influence on my life is Margaret Hamilton, a computer scientist and previously a software engineer for NASA. Essentially, the code she wrote made up the guidance system which allowed the Apollo 11 Lunar module to successfully land on the Moon. Without this guidance system, the mission would not have been a success. When I was younger, her great achievement inspired me to teach myself a number of computer languages, hoping that one day I could help write software to guide satellites in space. It’s not happened yet, but now I can use my programming skills to model volcanic eruptions!

Delia Derbyshire was one of the first female experimental/ electronic musicians I encountered whose music became an addiction. I would listen to her every day, and still I listen to something by her once a month. The sounds that she could create from machines and tape loops was nothing like anything I had heard before, and it’s rarely matched now. Delia was very persistent and despite being told that “women cannot work in recording studios” she eventually was assigned to the BBC Radiophonic Workshop. Through discovering Delia, a whole world of drone and ambient music was revealed, a world which I am still exploring, many years later.

Tell us about a precious object.

TB My precious object is my bass rig – it allows me to express myself musically in exactly the way I want to. I know how it responds and how to control it, and it is quite loud. It consists of a Matamp GT200, a Behringer 8x10, an Orange Thunderverb 200, an Orange 4 x12, another 4 x12, a Roberts Amplification Black Hole Generator and a 2 x15.

My current setup for Bismuth is the only amp set-up I have been completely happy with, as I know exactly where all the nice spots for horrible feedback are. It has taken many, many years for me to build this rig, and there has been a lot of mistakes and trial and error. When I play in front of it, I close my eyes and nothing but sound and vibration exists. It may be the amp nerd in me talking, but I feel like my amps are my main instrument. I don’t know what I would do if I did not have them to play.

Ask yourself 3 questions and tell us the answers.

TB Which is worse: failing or never trying?

-- Never trying is worse. At least if you try, you will not have the regret of thinking what may have been. I believe that if you want to do something, give it a go – it might turn out okay in the end.

TB Do you have an amp addiction?

-- Yes, I think it is safe to say I do.

TB How are you?

-- Not enough people ask this question expecting a genuine answer in return. I try to ask this to people, in the hope of get more than a “I am fine” response. I’m rarely fine, at the moment I am tired, and wondering what the future will bring. Will everything be okay? Who knows? All we can do is carry on.

Share something with us.

TB “Our intelligence and our technology have given us the power to affect the climate. How will we use this power? Are we willing to tolerate ignorance and complacency in matters that affect the entire human family? Do we value short-term advantages above the welfare of the Earth? Or will we think on longer time scales, with concern for our children and our grandchildren, to understand and protect the complex life-support systems of our planet? The Earth is a tiny and fragile world. It needs to be cherished.” Carl Sagan - Cosmos

#tanya byrne #bismuth #monoliths #female bassist #doom #drone #amplifier worship #bass rig #delia derbyshire #margaret hamilton #nasa #a hundred black kites #runhild gammelsaeter #thors hammer #khylst #carl sagan #volcanology

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