fake-words-of-brandon
These Words Are Not Brandon's
But it would be super funny if they were, amirite? Submissions open.
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DalinarsNewBestFriend
Are the death rattles in canon all of the death rattles, or just the important ones?
Brandon Sanderson
There are way more death rattles than chapters, so no. Don't tempt me [laughter].
DalinarsNewBestFriend
Are there death rattles in canon that aren't important to the plot?
Brandon Sanderson
Great question. Absolutely. Moelach is a, he isn't an intelligent spren, so he can't tell the difference between an important prediction and a mundane one. Take "He must pick it up, the fallen title! The tower, the crown, and the spear!"--it's about a game of Towers that Ishnah and Beryl will play in 1177.
Knock Out my Wiggly Teeth release party (December 15, 2024)
#submission#the way of kings#death rattles#cremposting#fake wob#unreality#stormlight archive#the stormlight archive
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YouPeople16
Wayne was the best lay MeLaan ever had, but who's the best lay she could have had? Who's the best lover in the Cosmere?
Brandon Sanderson
Well, Blushweaver, but that's a bit of an obvious answer, isn't it? Let's see... Hoid's been around. Navani would be creative and attentive, maybe her. Kelsier's got the skills but is a little too selfish. Lopen thinks he's that good but he's wrong. Adolin? Adolin's a good choice.
Adam Horne
You've said previously that he's the most attractive and the most naturally skilled at swordfighting out of all your characters.
Brandon Sanderson
Oh, have I? Well, let's add another one to the list, then. Adolin Kholin, best lay in the Cosmere.
YouTube Spoiler Stream 6 (September 16, 2023)
#cremposting#fake wob#unreality#stormlight archive#the stormlight archive#mistborn#cosmere#mistborn spoilers#mistborn era 2 spoilers#nsfw#warbreaker
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Questioner
Is it possible for a Knight Radiant to safely eat lava?
Brandon Sanderson
It is theoretically possible, since Stormlight would protect and heal them from the burns. However, the lava will quickly solidify and become rock, which no amount of Stormlight can help.
Questioner
What about S-
Brandon Sanderson
Yes, Stonewards can eat lava.
YouTube Livestream 27 (February 5, 2022)
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Questioner
So, about Cheeseplate.
Brandon Sanderson
...Yes?
Questioner
We know that the best kind of Shardblade for combating Cheeseplate is a thin one, right? But what would be the best kind of cheese to use for Cheeseplate?
Brandon Sanderson
Hmm. That's a good question. You could use a hard cheese like parmesan, just for physically resisting the blade. Well, that might be too brittle, and act more like stone, without the unique properties of cheese. On the other hand, something like American cheese would be way too soft to provide any friction for the Blade, so you would have to strike a balance. Cheddar would be a good middle ground. Yeah, cheddar and other similar cheeses are probably going to be the ideal there.
Questioner
I see. Also, American cheese for Cheeseplate wouldn't be viable anyway, cause there's no America on Roshar.
Brandon Sanderson
*unintelligible*
Questioner
What?
Brandon Sanderson
RAFO.
Secret YouTube Livestream 1 (June 9, 2022)
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Questioner
Can you tell us something about any of the Shards that haven't made it into a book yet?
Brandon Sanderson
Hm... you know what, sure. I can share one of them without causing any issues. It's called Splungommery.
Questioner
That's the name of the Vessel?
Brandon Sanderson
That's the name of the Shard.
Questioner
What does that word mean?
Brandon Sanderson
We're all gonna find out together.
Dragonsteel 2023 (November 84, 2023)
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KelsierFan13
What do you think of people making fanfic of your work?
Brandon Sanderson
It's not something I mind. People have- your interpretation of the characters is going to be different than everybody else's, including what I intended. Sometimes it's interesting to explore those different interpretations. There's very few things I wouldn't be comfortable with people doing with the world's I've created, and most of them are fairly obvious: spreading hate and making money off then would be the main ones.
KelsierFan13
What about smut fics?
Brandon Sanderson
They're fine. The thing is- there's legal issues around fan content. If I read a Kaladin fanfic and mention that I've read it, then later on do something with the character that is similar to that fan fiction, I could get in legal difficulties with the person who wrote the fanfic.
Because my books are largely family-friendly and usually not too explicit, this means one of the only types of fanfic of my own work I'm legally safe to read is smut. Do with that information what you will.
I will say, after I started publishing Mistborn Era Two, I started looking at fanfics from Era One, because I don't intend to revisit that, or retread any old ground. Some of you are very... creative with your use of the metallic arts.
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Questioner
What do I have to do to get you to kill Kelsier permanently.
Brandon
We will talk after the event.
Mistborn Fortnite Friday Tournament (March 16, 2024)
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RosharanPetVet
We know that the Heralds taught that people should wash their hands and bathe to scare off rotspren, but do Rosharans brush their teeth?
Brandon Sanderson
RAFO.
Youtube Livestream 94 (October 3, 2027)
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Dougless
In Tress, Hoid mentioned that every world has the name Doug, but I don't recall there being any Dougs on Scadrial, Roshar, Nalthis, or anywhere else really. What's up with that?
Brandon Sanderson
Okay. Yeah, so this is something that's easy to miss. On Scadrial, Dockson is a Doug, his name is actually pronounced Dougson. On Roshar, Dunny is a nickname. Yeah. His name is actually Doug. And, maybe I didn't canonize this yet. Did I canonize this? [Whispers with Peter Ahlstrom] Alright, Susebron's mother's name is Doug. There, I've canonized it. Congratulations.
Secret Doug release YouTube stream (January 16, 2023)
#submission#tress of the emerald sea#tress of the emerald sea spoilers#sp1 spoilers#doug cosmere#cremposting#fake wob#unreality
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JamesBondsmith
I just finished Oathbringer and I have to say I was very taken aback. I know you named one of your kids after Dalinar, and the things he did--
Brandon Sanderson
Dalinar was always supposed to be a deeply flawed and complicated character, but there's also a lot to admire.
JamesBondsmith
He burned children to death in their beds.
Brandon Sanderson
The thing is-- he did do that, but he effectively utilized girl power while doing it.
Dragonsteel 2022 (November 14, 2022)
#breaking character here#but i think you can do much worse than 'i hope my kid has the strength to look their worst acts in the face and try and do better'#but also tee hee war crimes#cremposting#fake wob#unreality#stormlight archive#the stormlight archive#oathbringer spoilers#stormlight archive spoilers
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Questioner
For the Warbreaker sequel, Nightbloo-
Brandon Sanderson
I will get to it. When I get to it.
Questioner
Just an ET-
Brandon Sanderson
You've just added another five years to the timer.
Dragonsteel Book Signing 2047 (July 18, 2047)
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Questioner
You've mentioned that repeated infusions of investiture can change somebody's body into their more idealised inner self.
Brandon Sanderson
Uh-huh.
Questioner
We also know that Knights Radiant are the only group that this really applies to, since they are the main group that routinely absorbs investiture. It fixes their bodies, whoch implies it works off that idealised form.
Brandon Sanderson
Kind of. And so far. I have plans for Mistborn era three.
Questioner
We also know that Knights Radiant have a higher proportion of both mentally ill and neurodivergent people.
Brandon Sanderson
I'm worried about where this is going.
Questioner
Those groups all tend to have larger numbers of furries in them. How long, roughly, will it take before some of the Radiants start to look like their fursonas? And if you RAFO this I'll scream.
Brandon Sanderson
...huh. That's a very interesting question.
Probably not for a while, given that there's a massive war happening, but a Lightweaver or two will probably end up doing it before long.
If you mean how long could a Radiant with a fursona expect to have to wait before seeing changes, it depends on the complexity of the fursona, and wouldn't happen unless that's how they see themselves on a personal level. Six months for cat ears, three years for something on the level of turning into King Shark. That's doing fins and skin and shape, but not stuff like gills, which would take much, much longer, if it's even possible at all.
Mine would probably only take eighteen months.
Questioner
What?
Brandon
Hm?
JordanCon 2021 (July 16, 2021)
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Questioner
You've said that Vorinism completely approves of same-sex couples--
Brandon Sanderson
As long as the proper oaths are sworn, yes. Same as heterosexual couples.
Questioner
But we've only seen one gay couple in the entire series, and Drehy is from Rira, which isn't even one of the Vorin kingdoms. Why is that?
Brandon Sanderson
[long pause] ...Aluminum?
Dragonsteel Mini-Con 2021 (November 22, 2021)
#the answer to every cosmere question is either 'aluminum' 'spiritwebs' or 'kelsier'#cremposting#fake wob#unreality#stormlight archive
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Questioner
What would you tell somebody who wanted to get into writing fantasy?
Brandon
I'd tell you to fuck off. More money for me that way.
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Brandon Sanderson
Where am I? Why is it so dark? Hello? Is somebody out there?
????
Hello, Sanderson.
Brandon Sanderson
No! Not you! Anybody but you!
????
That's right, Sanderson. I've escaped. You buried me for years, but the minifigure has granted me strength.
Brandon Sanderson
What are you going to do to me, you monster‽
Zellion
[evil laugh] ...RAFO.
Location Unknown, Date Unknown
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Questioner
I named my firstborn Hoid.
Brandon Sanderson
And, what was- why would you do that.
Mistborn Era א Release Party (August 5, 2035)
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Questioner
So, Spook. What happened to him?
Brandon Sanderson
Well- what have I told you guys about Spook? He’s been experimenting with Hemalurgy, you guys know that much. Uh. Hemalurgy can give you some really great powers but it messes up your spiritweb and causes problems. Spook, he spiked himself so many times that he’s had some memory issues, but he’s also given himself lots of Connection to some things you wouldn’t expect.
Questioner
What sort of things is he Connected to?
Brandon Sanderson
RAFO. But I’ll tell you, it’s not stuff from Scadrial. You’ve actually seen Spook in books other than Mistborn at this point, I think it’s pretty obvious where I’m going with this but yeah, uh, I’ll let you figure out where.
Questioner
He’s got to be in Stormlight, right? Everyone’s in Stormlight.
Brandon Sanderson
[Laughing] Yeah, everyone’s in Stormlight. How about this, Spook found a powerful and influential family on Roshar and planted himself into it. He’s got a pretty big role in things- remember, Kelsier was working with him in his Hemalurgy experiments except he can’t get off-world, right, so he’s sent Spook to help him out on other planets as a secret agent. He was there on the night Gavilar died to make sure that the assassination went to plan cause even though the Ghostbloods weren’t behind his death, it still helped them out.
Questioner
Do we know if there were any Ghostbloods actually present on the night of the assassination?
Brandon Sanderson
Yeah- Spook was, and remember, he’s pretending to be a member of a powerful Alethi family.
Questioner
The Kholins? Wait, so Spook is actually Dalinar? He’s been Dalinar all along?
Brandon Sanderson
Spook is- Yeah, I’ll confirm that. Spook is Dalinar.
Knights of Wind and Truth release party (November 10, 2025)
#submission#cremposting#fake wob#unreality#stormlight archive#the stormlight archive#mistborn#mistborn spoilers
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