Wonderful song! One of my favorites by them. But...Matchbox Twenty are still together...and releasing music. Been some rough patches and hiatuses, however they are currently together.

Day #14 - Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty

Somebody oughta take you in, try to make you love again Try to make you like the way they feel when they're under your skin Never once do you think that they would lie when they're holdin' you Then you wonder why they haven't called when they said they'd call you

I apologize because I can’t find the post that said this, but I suspect it has been said in other posts as well of Steven coming across as stiff, uncaring, and clearly reading from a teleprompter while Ryan and Shane were far more relaxed and taking issues/annoyed by this. Perhaps believing it showed Steven not taking it seriously, being pissed, and he was forced to backpedal? The sense I got was Steven of the three of them was attacked 90% more in this mess. Constant posts, comments, etc laid the blame on him and were not gentle in their feelings. He read them. He saw things. It had to HURT. It’s not easy to admit you made a mistake and come across as professional doing an apology while these feelings of the last how many hours are fresh in your mind. I didn’t see uncaring and stiff but rather a little boy desperately trying not to cry while being brave. Yes he fucked up. This was a bad move. That all agreed to do. Not just Steven. The fact they had the wherefore all to admit of that they messed up had to hurt, I still think it was the hardest for Steven. End of the day we are all humans and for the most part are doing the best we can.

At first I will admit I did think people were overreacting to the Watcher news, but upon further thought and reflection I do agree its dumb as hell.

I understand them wanting to do more, but did they ask if their audience wanted all the bells and whistles? I agree with a lot of comments in saying the channel used to be more enjoyable when rough, raw, and cheap. I don’t need stuff overproduced and dumb special effects.

I don’t agree with people attacking Steven. All 3 agreed to do this. No one had guns against their heads. And I love Steven’s cooking videos and content, they are my favorites that Watcher does.

I stopped watching majority of stuff Shane and Ryan do because they are too…I don’t know obnoxious when together? The banter was fun at first and I know its an act for views and entertainment, but like everything they take it too far.

Steven doesn’t have someone paired with to be his anti or opposite, which is why I suppose why I prefer his videos.

Yet don’t tell the fandom or whats left of the fandom that.

Peacing out from them

I feel a little guilty. A year or two ago we introduced my parents to Taskmaster. Watched a few series (and a few older one I recommend) and they (especially my mom) seem to enjoy. However this newest series (17) Jason and are watching without them. Why? She is horrible to watch shows with! She barely looks up. Doesn't get the humor. Yes British humor is sooooo out there! Constantly remarking not being able to understand why people are saying (well that's more my dad). Nitpicking the outfits, need it be the task outfits or stage outfits. And I'm sure a few other reasons. He and I just wanted to watch the show in peace without the peanut gallery firing off. Still I know overall despite the issues they do like it, hence the guilt.

Ega

I highly doubt Law & Order SVU will still be on the air in 7 years. I mean maybe...stranger things have happened and I guess the L&O universe is good at swapping characters in and out (sometimes better than others) to keep the show fresh. The reason I mention 7 years is because in 7 years Olivia Benson reaches mandatory retirement age. If I am not mistaken that was why Cragan was sent packing. I don't see the show "forgetting" this fact or never mentioning her age again. Nor do I see them tweecking the year she was born to avoid this. The question I should be asking is if by some miracle the show is still alive in February 7th, 2031 which is Olivia's 63rd birthday and New York mandatory retirement age and the show actually does it would people still watch? Heads rolled when Stabler left. Eventually people came around, though the views were never really the same... I don't see people staying for a no Olivia SVU she is now the SHOW. Hell maybe her and Elliott can have a spin off in a few years where they are private investigators or something. Hell even a sitcom of them hanging out with their blended families. They have enough fans that show runners could think of something people would watch. This was way too long. And stupid.

Her point (among others) isn't to never talk about it and these stories are important, but there are people out there who find this stuff purely entertaining. So yes talk about it, but it shouldn't be the focus.

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I quite enjoyed Christy Carlson Romano's take on Quiet On Set that she shared on Mayim Bialik's Breakdown podcast. Basically Christy has not and will not watch the documentary, not because it's not important or needed; but because after awhile with these things it's just the same stuff over and over. People who want MORE, the DRAMA and it's an endless echo chamber of looking back when we need to be focused on the future and how to change things happening now to kids/teens in the business instead of wanting the tea on things that happened years ago.

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I quite enjoyed Christy Carlson Romano's take on Quiet On Set that she shared on Mayim Bialik's Breakdown podcast. Basically Christy has not and will not watch the documentary, not because it's not important or needed; but because after awhile with these things it's just the same stuff over and over. People who want MORE, the DRAMA and it's an endless echo chamber of looking back when we need to be focused on the future and how to change things happening now to kids/teens in the business instead of wanting the tea on things that happened years ago.

Winton

My theory is that Winton only sees his dad on the weekends.

Many times we seen his dad he's in the background without Winton.

Winton struggling to know where he lived.

Not knowing his dad was dating someone.

Perhaps the relationship was kept from Winton because his dad was scared of it failing and didn't want his sweet and sensitive child upset if it failed? So he was waiting until it was serious before saying something. Then the terriers ended up letting the cat out of the bag, in a sweet and comforting way. The reason the terriers knew of the relationship is because their mom is primary or if not only parent.

I keep getting and seeing these ads for Mother’s Day gifts. And quite a few are cute and I think my mom would love, especially ones that focus on grandchildren (like displaying names etc) and apart of me wants to order her one yet it shouldn’t be my fucking responsibility to provide her a gift containing the names of her grandchildren it should be from her child that has the kids!

She would eat that shit up. But my brother and his wife are seemingly clueless, ignorant, uncaring, etc. And never do this stuff. They never send cards. No gifts. Hardly acknowledgement on holidays (such as mother’s day)

I seriously don’t understand why she holds out hope of things changing.

The question remains… do I buy her the grandma focused gift or would knowing it was from me and not them be too painful?

Following my heart

On Givin Gifts I signed up for an exchange called "Favorite Character" and the concept is to receive something associated with your favorite character...pretty self explanatory LOL. Could be from anywhere, any genre, any media, etc. The registry portion had you share one and a back up. I debated for awhile and ended up putting Bingo (from Bluey) and Kermit The Frog. I said they were basically tied for number one, though technically Bingo was first. However in my heart I knew that wasn't right. And inspired by someone on Reddit mentioning/commenting their favorite character is from a somewhat obscure musicals and unsure if should put as their answer and being encouraged to, because you never know! As I said that inspired me to change my information. Kermit stayed as my backup and Molly Phillips from So Weird became my number one! I am 99% sure I am gonna get Kermie stuff and that's awesome, because I guarantee the person who got me was like "WTF is So Weird?! And who is Molly?!" But I had to follow my heart.

The person I received their favorite character was Princess Tiana from The Princess And The Frog.

Six hand pays in two weeks.

Three two Mondays ago.

Three this Monday that just ended.

First time it was me two, him one.

Second time him twice, me once.

Five of the six were on the same game (two different units though)

Other was completely different.

It was nice.

I went through IMDB user ratings for all of Law & Order: CI and Law & Order: SVU and using only episode rated 8.4 or high arranged in order by the ratings. I originally I only had CI and that went to 8.2; however curiosity got the best of me so I included the other. It was season 3 or 4 that I had to start not including the 8.3 and 8.2 because were too many of them. In total there are 138 episodes, maybe one or two more if two parters are put together.

Now my dilemma is trying to decide what to do. In my heart I just want to watch. That's it. In the order I put together. No podcast. No brackets. No etc. However when I suggested watching (back when just CI) I asked him if he was interested in watching too. His response? Sure, but only if we make it a podcast. And scouts honor at first I was okay with the idea even made a quick (and incorrect) match ups and all that.

However as I said I really don't want to. Sometimes I just want to watch something. Especially in the evenings when he's on the phone for an hour to two hours. I understand why he wants to make a project and yeah it might be fun. Just...why does everything have to be so complicated?

Also I think CI is only on Peacock and has commercials which I know will frustrate him. Though of the 138 episodes far more are SVU...silly people never giving CI enough love!

So yeah...

Oh I might write or blog my thoughts and do something that avenue. Simply I don't want to record anything. Sorry?

It’s very difficult to have a loved one who has chronic pain. You care and sympathize with them, but you really can’t understand. Even if yourself has chronic pain or any pain it is unique to you and no one will truly experience it the same. You celebrate the days or even moments they are doing good, yet you wonder are they really doing good or putting on a brave face because they don’t want to disappoint you or others. Perhaps have a shopping outting planned and the idea of saying never mind should be what they do, instead they say everything is fine to not mess up plans. You have to deal with them being a zombie and forgetting things either because of the pain or the medication to relieve the pain; often both. Sometimes they will emotional and upset they can’t think of the right words or can’t remember when you discuss a TV show they recently watched. Or they get angry at either themselves or you for the gaps. Either way sucks and you don’t know what to say or do. Sometimes you want them to discuss what hurts, where, how much, any new symptoms? Not because you can do anything but rather because you care and want them to know. Often though they refuse to say anything besides the most basic information because of not wanting to be a burden always complaining. Truthfully there are days you don’t want to hear it and occasionally wonder if a certain pain is really apart of the chronic issues and not just an average pain or discomfort or something consumed that shouldn’t have been. Yet when suggest anything of the like you’re attacked and accused of not caring about any of it. You sit and watch pop pill after pill. Put interal pain reliever devices up to max. Drink when really shouldn’t. Sleep way too much. And you can’t do anything and almost become numb to all and start losing yourself. Its hard.

Random thoughts about Quiet On Set (because its 3am and I should be sleeping)

Of the shows featured/discussed I only watched iCarly and Victorious.

Yes some of the scenes, wardrobe, etc made me uncomfortable to watch before this, but now I feel bad because on hindsight I should have realized how bad and wrong it REALLY was.

Will I watch these shows again? I know I should say no, but to be honest I probably will.

A lot of people are pissed, angry, hurt, and ready to cancel anyone who wrote a letter of support to Drake’s rapist. I think it’s important to remember or consider a few things… often when a person is told to write those letters they are given the most BASIC information, abusers are amazing at manipulating people and gaining sympathy from others, jobs might have been threatened, etc. On the documenty the creator of it stressed “we don’t know what they knew or if the court room” but it seems so many like I said want them cancelled without attempting to learn the truth.

For the record this applies more specifically to the kids/young adults then the full ass mature adults. Though to be fair Joanne Kerns did say she had no idea of the true nature (or really anything about the case) when writing the letter and if had known won’t have. Which makes me think that might be the case for some others.

Stop trying to get other celebrities who were on shows during this period to speak out. Not everyone has a horror story, not everyone wants to share their story, etc. We love as a society love drama and juicy details. And while it’s important for these stories to be exposed it’s also important to respect those who have the stories to share.

Everyone wants Disney exposed and chomping at the bit for it. I don’t think it’ll happen. The company is too big and powerful. I know. You know. We all know. Far as a 4 part series exposing everything? Will never see the light of day.

Been listening to Alyson Stoner’s Dear Hollywood, Toddler To Trainwreck Pipeline series. OMG I can’t recommend enough.

Child and teen actors need protection. We need to do more. The system has to change. Though sadly even with this hardcore (and needed) exposure I don’t think it will.

Lights camera...calm down!

Watching Master Chef Junior and I can't help to notice that so many of the kids especially during to camera interviews do silly hand gestures, little dance movements, pull faces, etc. It really seems like they are doing Tik Tok dances or anything associated with constant social media and they are so accustomed to not only watching these videos constantly, but also creating their own that I think children end up acting a fool (sorry not sorry) without thinking whenever a camera is on them. And it doesn't sit well with me. To be fair I am not against social media or children having it, still it's apparent it's becoming a bit much.

My dad is getting a pacemaker in this morning and maybe gallbladder surgery too at the same time.

Yep.

I’m not worried or concerned. It’s pretty routine procedure.

I have really been struggling lately. Mainly mentally and emotionally. I give little hints or vague mentions but I don’t go into details. I don’t want to bother anyone when everyone else in the house has their own health issues and ailments. So I just have to toughen up, pretend everything is ok. I mean the other day I straight out said to my mom something along the lines of “I know I should have done that awhile ago but really been struggling mentally and feeling depressed” And she proceeded to say she knows how that is and never asked me for details. It was like she isn’t prepared for knowing and it’s easier to ignore. Semi ironically depression runs in our family on her side and several people take medication (some for decades) and over the years have been warned to watch out for it, etc. And she knows the stress I am under with everyone/thing and has mentioned concern over me in the past … yet when I show hints of “it’s not ok!” Crickets is the response.

It’s easier to pretend everything is okay.

For the record the reactions if I really tried to talk about it would be …

My dad: caring yet dismissive because everyone feels like that sometimes and that’s life get over it.

My mom: sad and feeling like she failed to notice and saying she will ignore/stop talking about her health/mental issues because it’s not fair to me.

Hubby: will try to break down in detail why I feel this way, says he wishes he could help with tasks like cleaning up but can’t physically and then try to help by explaining step by step how to do things; when that just frustrates me.

Jason, since you will read this … I don’t know why. I just feel overwhelmed and that I can’t do anything right. Things such as organizing project has gotten away from me (us) and I feel its too much to tackle alone, but I’m not ready to call back in the help because I have to learn to do myself…yet its too much to do myself…