“Manic pixie dream girl says, ‘have you heard this record?’ Manic pixie dream girl says let me save you with this record. Let me put the headphones on for you, and smile, while you listen; cut to your point of view, watch me smile while you listen. Hear that? That’s the sound of you becoming a better person. I’m gonna paint a picture of a bird on your beige wall without your permission and you’re gonna love it. And you thought you hated birds. See me? Encouraging you to take risks? Manic pixie dream girl wants you to do something you’ve never done before. Like go swing-dancing, or smile. You wanna know my name? You never call me by it anyway. If I had to guess, it would probably be a season, or after a dead actress who you loved as a child. But this isn’t about me! This is about you, and your cubicle job, your white bedroom, your white Honda, your white mother. Manic pixie dream girl says I’m going to save you. Says, don’t worry, you are still the lead role. This is your love story about the way I teach you to live. Everything they know about me they will learn when it is projected onto you, watch the way you pick up my bad habits and make them look good. Manic pixie dream girl talks too much. Says bad words out loud and cries at the commercials. That makes me a funny woman, right? The kind people like to laugh at? It’s easy to root for you when I act like this, so disagreeable, such a manic dream, dream girl, your almost broken accessory. Manic pixie dream girls says let’s play make believe with my body. I’ll be a vintage dress in an empty prescription bottle, good girl, just bad enough, a burp and a curtsy. Let me be not too pretty, hair fried from all that pink dye, sex when you need it, puppet when you’re bored. Let me build myself smaller than you, let me apologize when I get caught acting bigger than you. Let me always wait for this, let me work for this. The convenient thing about being a magical woman is that I can be gone as quickly as I came. And when you are a whole person for the first time, the movie is over. Manic pixie dream girl doesn’t go on; there’s no need for her anymore. Manic pixie dream girl is too dream girl, and you just woke up. Once, I told you I was afraid of my father, and for a moment, I looked so human, the audience lost interest. You saw the crow’s feet at the sides of my eyes and a small chip on my front tooth. I looked just like everyone else.”

— Olivia Gatwood :; Manic Pixie Dream Girl

i am drowning. the water fills my lungs, and though it is refreshing, i cannot breathe. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU I AM LEARNING I WANT TO LEARN BUT I CAN NOT LOVE YOU i want to scream it from rooftops pick it from the part of my brain that makes me think that i deserve you and i do not know how to love you i do not want to tame you i never want you to change never want your breathing to steady i don't want you to cut your hair although it gets tangled when you sleep i don't want you to paint your nails even though your mother tells you to you should not curl your hair to look beautiful unless you realize that you are gorgeous without it i do not know what it feels like to love you but i imagine it feels something like the moment before a car crash the second before a star is born the minute after one has died something awe inspiring and terrible and wonderful and amazing all at the same time I WANT TO LOVE YOU I WANT TO LOVE YOU I DO I DO I DO IM SORRY

i. when you are here, it is as if the flowers are in full bloom.

ii. the image of you laughing in my kitchen will remain long after you've moved to a small house in new jersey.

iii. it is so easy to be with you. it is so easy to love you. maybe if i say it enough i'll start to believe it.

iv. you are so radiant that each time i lift my eyes it is as if i am staring into the sun.

v. sometimes i wish that you had never walked into my life. i wonder why you just had to come in and make me love you as much as i do.

vi. if i had never met you, this would be so much less painful.

vii. you were the one who wasn't supposed to leave me. you were the one who was meant to stay.

viii. thank you for being everything that anyone could have been. if anyone could have saved me, it would have been you.

"and i can no longer tell if my heart is beating too fast or too slow"

girl says she comes from humble beginnings. says that she was made from mother and father and nothing more. i say girl was crafted from goddess. each thing she does screams holy. girl came from the womb without tears. girl came from heaven and still called herself demon. girl rose hell without second thought. girl doesn't give things second thoughts. girl is one part lovely and three parts terror. she is hellfire fueled by holy oil. girl grew up in mansions. girl grew up on the streets. sometimes the street is your mansion. sometimes your mansion is nothing more than just home. girl told me that she is sad. girl told everyone that she was sad. girl is everything and more. girl is sad and girl is happy. girl is great. girl is kind. people say that sometimes girl is just a girl, and i need to stop making hero out of her. but with me girl gets the backstory she has always deserved. girl watched armies fall. girl watched empires rise. girl watched netflix with him, and when he tried to chill with her, she cut out his tongue. girl has no chill. she is phoenix. girl rose from the ashes of everyone who ever dared to call her human. girl is so human that it hurts. she bleeds golden and sometimes it spills from her eyes. coats her thick brown hair in the stuff. girl is golden. girl drips honey and bleeds ichor. everything girl is made of spells out "remember." girl will be remembered.

stardust

“

my mother would tell me that i

was made of stardust. firecrackers in my

veins and love in my

heart.

words are born in my throat,

they rut against my lips and beg me,

“tell him, tell him,

tell him.”

he hides deep within himself. shoves

anything he deems unnecessary

down and doesn’t show it until

he is raw and hurting.

i want to help him.

i want to help him.

we are not supposed to love

each other. but the way his lips push

feverishly against mine, his hands so

warm and real; it

is brighter than every star united.

he tells me

that i am nothing but long limbs and

loud words and eyes so

bright.

he will never know

everything that he means

to me.

we are made of stardust. kids

thrust into something so vast, it is

incomprehensible. it is

exhilarating and

terrifying all at once.

but he is right there.

he is always right there.

”

an ode to cherry blossoms

you look like letting go. each

delicate petal that drifts down sends a

shiver up

my spine. the lazy way

that your leaves sway; the languid movement of

your branches. my mother has always

been too allergic for us to all go near you. sit

beneath your shade

and have a lunch or two.

spend a day at ease in your infinite

calm. spend an eternity under the shade you

provide.

turned into a symbol for love, you

make your appearance in every music video.

you are the comfort of

home for each dying girl. the

blanket of warmth for each sad

boy. all of your flowers are beautiful. white

or pink, pure and delicate.

you have

turned heartbreak into something beautiful.

each melancholy poem written by

broken little kids has the scent of you

lingering between the lines. you rest

in the hollows of my cheeks, swing from the

bags under my eyes.

you are beautiful and terrifying. the

most deadly forest fire

come to life.

We are all sunbeams, dancing Through the cracks in our shells, Pacing the limelight, drifting Through its melancholy haze.   Watch me bloom in particles, Pirouetting in patches of light. Watch me dream the night away, Barefoot, stepping sleepily.   I am stardust, abandoned, Left to grace mere crevices. I am atoms, drenched in flame, Eternal.   Watch me shine.

poeticallyordinary, “Stardust” (via poeticallyordinary)

dad,

thank you for being the only person who has loved me unconditionally, no matter what. thank you for coaching every sports team, attending every school function, and working hard every single day. you are everything that i wish i was. you are smart, you are funny, and oh, you are so so kind. you taught me that not all men want to hurt me. you’ve taught me that my life can be filled with so much light, i am blinded in the most glorious way. i do not tell you everything, and i am still trying my best to be open with you, and you are constantly there. thank you for being so there that i never have to worry about being alone. we are both only human, and we make so many mistakes, they outnumber the stars; despite all this, you have never left my side. we are so, so different, and yet there is no one more similar to me. thank you for sharing my love of stars, of storms. thank you for loving me even though i am so often storm. you have taught me what it is like to be totally, unequivocally happy. for every late night, quick snack, and stolen hug, thank you. i love you. i’m sorry i'm not good

at telling you.

Thinking of you is a poison I drink often.

A t t i c u s (via beautiful-words-on-a-page)