Tumgik
dejilovesmochi · 16 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Here for you.
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
╰┈➤ Summary: Jungwon comes to help you as you are going through a rough time.
✩ ◛ ° genre: angst to fluff/comfort
!! Warnings !! - depression, thoughts of sh and suicide, reader is going through a depressive episode, reader has bad anger, probably cringe cause it’s my first time writing, not proof read.
Pairing: Jungwon x gn! reader
You laid there. Feeling nothing. Thinking nothing. You had been laying in bed for who knows how long, only getting up to use the bathroom. Everything just felt so hopeless.
Knock knock
The sound of someone knocking on your door took you out of your thoughts and back to reality. Thinking it was just one of your friends who have been trying to get a hold of you due to you ghosting everyone, you didn’t bother answering the door and continued to stare at the wall. It wasn’t until you heard the door unlocked which means it could only be one person. Jungwon, who you had given your spare key to while ago.
Shit. You looked like a mess and so did everything around you. How can you even let him see you like this.
As you were busy stressing on what to do next, the door to your bedroom opened.
You quickly turned towards the wall and acted like you were asleep, hoping that he would just go away, but to your disappointment you felt the bed dip next to you. instead of feeling happy that he was here you just felt anger. Why is everyone always bothering you? Why can you just have some peace and quiet for once?
“Jagiya…” Your boyfriend said from behind you. “What’s wrong….” His eyes scanned your body, heart breaking in the process.
You didn’t answer. You didn’t feel like talking. Hell, you didn’t even feel like living.
“Talk to me baby…” he tried again, still getting no response.
After about 5 minutes of him just sitting there with his hand on your shoulder you spoke up. “Go away…”
“Why….” He says with obvious worry in his voice.
“I don’t want to see you or anyone..” you replied a lot harsher than you intended.
“I want to know what’s going on… did something happen? Did I do something?…” he says, pleading with you to tell him.
“Nothing is wrong!” You snap as you can feel your emotions getting the best of you.
Jungwon just sighs and rubs your shoulder. “Don’t push me away y/n… I know something is wrong…. I want to help you… but you have to talk to me…”
How much times did you have to tell him. Nothing is wrong… or at least that’s what you try to convince yourself.
“Please just go I- I can’t…” You say as you sit up, trying your best to avoid eye contact with him because you know you’ll start crying.
“I’m not leaving till I know you’re alright…” he replied as his hand moved a piece of hair from your face.
You quickly turned your head the other direction. You felt the tears come up to your eyes and a burning feeling in your throat.
Jungwon seemed to notice and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into him.
You notice the tears fall from your eyes as Jungwon hugs you and you try so hard to get out of his grip, not wanting to break down infront of him. You use your arms to push him away, it doesn’t work. He was just so much stronger than you.
You feel yourself crying even more now and as a result of not wanting him to hug you, you start hitting him, trying to get away. (not very hard of course but you get the idea)
“Stop…” he says as he still holds onto you even tho you are hitting him.
You keep going at it until you feel his hands around your wrists, gently stopping you.
“Stop jagiya….” He says looking down at you in concern before hugging you even tighter.
Beginning to give up you just cry. You lean on him and cry your heart out not even caring if you look like a mess. Not even caring about anything.
All you could think of was “I messed up” “how can things go back to normal after this” “he’s gonna look at me differently now”
You continue to sob in his arms as you overthink about the outcome of your actions.
His hand begins to let go of your wrist and rests on your upper arm instead.
The thoughts slowly fade away as you focus on the boy who is currently hugging you like his life depended on it.
His head rests on top of yours, his arms are securely wrapped around you, he’s just so comforting.
After a while of just sitting like this and you calming down, Jungwon speaks up “are you ready to tell me what’s been going on?…”
“I don’t even know…. I- I can’t explain it…” you start feeling yourself getting worked up again.
“Hey…. It’s ok….. try your best…” he says calmly.
“I just…. I have no energy… I have no motivation…. I can’t see myself having a future… I don’t know what to do anymore… And I messed everything up… I can’t just go back to my normal life after this I- I pushed everyone away… they all hate me now probably…. I have nobody… all because I felt sad for no fucking reason…” you start to tear up again “god I just hate myself…. I hate my life… I should’ve just killed mys-“
“Woah woah…” Jungwon said cutting you off “ok… breathe baby…”
“You asked what was wrong so I’m telling you…” you reply.
“Yes I did but… don’t talk like that… I understand you might be feeling that way but don’t say that…” He takes a deep breath before speaking again “I don’t want you to be in that type of head space again… I-“
“Well it’s to fucking late…” you snap back at him, cutting him off in the process.
Jungwon is just at a loss for words, he hasn’t seen you this depressed since your friend died… if anything, this was worse.
“Don’t say that…. Do you understand how many people would be sad if you died? Your friends, your family, the members, me? I would be devastated. I can’t live without you Jagiya…” he says as he starts to tear up “I want you to listen to me… there is no situation worth dying for… no matter how bad it is I promise it will get better…”
“YOU SAY THAT AND IT NEVER DOES” you exclaim.
“You just have to wait sweetie… I know it’s hard… but if you don’t want to live for yourself then do it for me… I love you so much… I would do anything for you…” tears slip down his cheeks “we still have so much to do together… please don’t give up… I still need to marry you… I still need to spoil you, I still need to cuddle with you.. I just.. need you….”
You find yourself starting to sob again as you listen to him, Actually feeling like you’re needed for once.
“I love you so so so so so so so much….. do you understand that” he says looking at your crying figure.
You just nod, not being able to speak.
He pulls you into him once again, beginning to cry even more.
It takes awhile for you both to calm down but when you do, you guys just lay there. Silence takes over the room as you hold each other. Eventually falling asleep.
4:26 AM
Jungwon wakes up to the feeling of you sitting up. He rubs his eyes sleepily before speaking. “Are you ok Jagiya?”
“I’m really sorry wonnie…” you say with guilt in your voice.
“Huh…” he sits up “why…”
“I’m sorry for the way I acted… you were just trying to help me and I-….. I was being such a bitch…” you pout
“Hey… no hard feelings… I get it… you didn’t do anything wrong…” he says as he pulls you into him.
You sigh “oh my gosh I’m actually disgusting…”
He can’t help but laugh a bit “what?”
“Do you realize I haven’t showered in two days” you say with a joking attitude.
“Doesn’t even matter baby…” he happily continues to cuddle you.
“I feel so gross tho…” you say as the feeling of your unclean clothes was grossing you out more and more by the minute.
“You don’t I run you a bath then hm?” He says as he presses his lips together, his dimples showing.
“That sounds nice…” you reply before poking his dimples.
He giggles before kissing your cheek and getting up to run you a bath.
After a bit you get in the bath and he helps you wash up, being very gentle with you as if you’re made of glass.
You get all cleaned up and Jungwon gets you new pjs before making you eat something even tho you aren’t really in the mood for it.
“I’m not hungry :(“ you pout.
“I’m not asking, eat” he says as he pokes the fork to your mouth.
As you taste the food your hunger immediately catches up to you. Not eating for almost three days really messed you up.
Jungwon giggles as he watches you absolutely devour the food and water he gave you.
“Why are you laughing” you ask, shooting him a glare,
“No reason… you’re just so pretty” he says, mesmerized by your beauty.
“Stopppppp” you blush and look the other way.
“Stopppppp” he mocks you.
“Whateverrrr” you say back in a jokingly annoyed voice.
After you finish your meal you get sleepy again.
“Can we go back to bed….” You say drowsily.
“Of course jagiya…” he says softly before picking you up and laying you down in bed before getting in next to you.
Ding
You and Jungwon both look over to the night stand that his phone is laying on.
It was a text from Jay.
Jay: hey are you coming to practice?
Jungwon sighs as he forgot he even had it. But he didn’t care anyways, you’re more important.
Jungwon: no im not feeling the best.
He texts Jay back with a casual lie.
Jay: alright feel better.
Jungwon puts his phone back down on the nightstand before looking at you.
“Who was that?” You ask curiously.
“Just Jay… I forgot we have practice today… I wouldn’t have gone even if I remembered… you’re more important…” he says hugging you to his chest.
“Thanks for dealing with me” you say nuzzling him.
“Don’t mention it…. I would do anything for you… remember that…” he says resting his head on yours. “I love you Jagiya…”
“I love you too..” you say as you shut your eyes.
He kisses your head before you both drift off to sleep, feeling comfortable, no distractions, no worries.
Just each other.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
A/N: this took me forever, I kinda projected on this a little so my bad. If you’re ever feeling like this remember, it’s ok to ask for help. I’m always here if anyone needs to talk. Love ya <3
86 notes · View notes