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vszatjila, europe, he/him ✡︎writing and info blog (bhuii)ijiehj(ue)anāj(ue)anā úehh. (ee)euhn-(ny)a-(h(n))j.weu-(h)n_nywa. o(r)sch uet(chsj)schiiji
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The Lammy Choice Awards
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THE FICTIVE'S ADDRESS by Nora Hikari
Published at GV Lit Mag
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there is no old self to get back to there’s a new u to create n nurture
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From a series of interviews with bugs.
Ant #2 in line: I lookout for what’ll crush the life out of me and keep going about it.
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i hit the green tea so hard i can feel all the weather on earth happening at once
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A conversation w/ a snared fox at the edge of the field
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RAINER MARIA RILKE x YUKA ITO (or @eoeoeyuka)
‘I Am Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone Enough’, Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God (1972)
愛でも叫んどこ。(2015), photography
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another thing i’ve been doing for years and years is marking certain time feelings down as they occur, and i’ve got a list of certain ones, but i don’t know if anyone else would even know what i’m talking about, so i never bothered sharing them, but i might soon. i’ve never really used outside sources for any magic or energy work, so i’d imagine my input would be quite different from most other sources.
i’ve been getting them my whole life, but i actually started recording them because some songs are very good at triggering them, but obviously it’s not just songs, sometimes there’s just a feeling in the air, and it’s easier to write down a song name than a feeling in the air. i made symbols that somewhat represent how the energy feels that i’ve been using for years, that i just mark down in a diary as they come up, and vague descriptions or modifiers to them to be more specific.
there was another thing i wanted to mention too but i can’t remember it now.
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#it’s not quite the same as in the dream but it’ll do#i might go into more depth on what actually happened in them on my website#i do tend to remember my dreams well#and i think i actually did write this one down somewhere#it really stood out to me in the morning for some reason#i’ve had a lot of repeat dreams recently too#even repeats from when i was a very young child that i haven’t had since#dream#dreamcore#dreams#weirdcore#i’ve also got a very good spatial memory#so my dreams tend to be very spatially consistent and accurate
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might start photoshopping images together to make places that i’ve seen in my dreams. i’ve been meaning to do it for a while, but i obviously never get them perfect so i gave up before, but i might just accept whatever i can get it to look like for now.
probably won’t be doing to many complicated ones or memories or anything, just because they’re harder to find the raw images for, and they’ll also really annoy me if they’re off lol, i’ve only got sketches in terms of memories right now, but i’ve been meaning to share those somewhere for a while. i don’t know if i’ll start on my website, a discord server, or here, but if i do put them somewhere public then i guess you’ll see.
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You can always start again. Clean out your social media. Create a new account for your new taste in music. Study or work in a new city. Start socialising with new people. Choose a new signature scent and style and purge the outdated parts of yourself. If you don’t like where you’re at, but you don’t know what to do about it - try starting again.
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MARK Z. DANIELEWSKI
House of Leaves (2000);
photos by G. Ngayu, or @monstertalent
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