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defect-affected · 3 years
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y’all i’ve been in recovery and that was going fine ig but then i started binging this week bc i’ve been inside bc of the cold and i’ve been depressed and eating too much and i’m huge rn
like i’m so upset
i got to my lw and then recovered
i don’t even know how much i weigh now
i guess now it’s time to mourn the freedoms of recovery
these thoughts won’t leave my head
it’s time to come back
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defect-affected · 3 years
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5:57pm : omgggg I’m so happy and full of love!!
6:03pm : I wanna die right now
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 12- 200 cal
hotties bites pickles- 15 cals
blueberry cobbler quest hero bar- 170 cals
white monster- 10 cals
total- 195 cals
back on track today :)
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 11- was supposed to be 150 cals
i had a 150 cal smoothie then later i had a good talk with my stepmom and decided today i would eat whatever i want and try not to worry
i ate a lot. i feel extremely guilty
but i’m gonna get back on track tomorrow and do day 12 and just keep going until xmas
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 10- fast
this ones hard lmao
diet pepsi- 0 cal
laxative tea- 0 cal (i still haven’t shit btw ☹️)
prob gonna have a diet coke after i smoke weed later lol- 0 cal
and also nic
✨🧚‍♂️healthy🧚‍♂️✨
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 9- 500 cals
1/2 cucumber- 24 cals
≈ 1 cup champagne sweet tomatoes- 25 cals
Fruit and creme oatmeal- 110 cals
2 tbsp honey roasted peanut butter- 179 cals
3 tbsp reddi whip whipped creme- 15 cals
1 rice cake- 35 cals
4 strawberries- 24 cals
Lily’s dark chocolate chips (60 chips) - 50 cals
total: 462 cals
honestly i was scared this is too many cals bc i ate 100 and 200 the other day. my brain better chill, 500 is still pretty low. anyways tomorrow is a fast day so i’ll just enjoy it while i can 😌
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 8- 400 cals
vegetarian tamale- 170 cals
8 cherry tomatoes- 24 cals
drizzled caramel corn- 130 cals
7 sticks of pocky- 70 cals
394 cals
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 7- 300 cals
lunch:
“Oh Snap” dill pickle- 10 cals
diet dr. pepper- 0 cals
dinner:
Fruit and creme oatmeal, Quaker- 110 cals
8 large strawberries- 48 cals
100 calorie muscle milk chocolate protein shake- 100 cals
3 sticks of pocky- 30 cals
total: 298 cals
OK,, one week in. it’s been getting hard, but since i got through the 100 and 200 cal days i can do this!!
i’m probably gonna do this diet until christmas and i’m not sure what i’m gonna do afterwards
if anyone is doing this diet and wants to chat u can always dm me
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defect-affected · 3 years
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defect-affected · 3 years
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“but what if i’m faking it?”
traumatic memories, especially traumatic memories from when you were a child, are notoriously difficult to access in their entirety. there are a lot of reasons for this- dissociation, injury, and memory deteriorating over time to name a few- and this can present a challenging question to survivors: how do i know i’m not lying?
people who are faking trauma or mental illness in general know they’re faking it. if you didn’t wake up one day and plan out what a fake traumatic memory you were going to have, and all the triggers you wanted to have, then you’re not faking. 
processing trauma memories is difficult and frightening and confusing, but you are not a liar or a faker.
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 6- 200 cal
vegetarian tamale- 170 cal
10 cherry tomatoes- 30 cal
this bitch is hard
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 5- 100 cals
muscle milk chocolate protein shake- 100 cal
that’s it 👁👄👁
also i had a dream that i ate butter and woke up thinking it was real
low key panicked bc i was like “i did so good today”
still convincing myself it wasn’t real LMAO
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 4- 400 cals
banana chocolate chip veggie muffin- 120
sweet trail mix- 140
protein shake- 140
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 3- 300 cals
40 cals- 1/2 pineapple coconut jerky
150 cals- smoothie kind small slim n trim strawberry smoothie
90 cals- 1 kings hawaiian roll
20 cals- 8 grape tomatoes
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day 2- 500 cal limit
370 cals i’m under!!
360- smoothie king smoothie
10- cauliflower
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defect-affected · 3 years
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abc diet day one
500 cals:
170- vegetarian tamale
45- cherry tomatoes
110- strawberries and creme oatmeal
70- 2 rice cakes
20- strawberries
≈80- drizzled popcorn
i didn’t measure my popcorn exactly so i might have been a bit over with how much i ate
also i chewed and spit some more popcorn but i didn’t count it so i feel rlly bad bc what if i’m over
it’s ok. day one complete
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defect-affected · 3 years
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tomorrow i’m starting the abc diet
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