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dark-is-d3ad · 2 months

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Got covid, so here is a collection of sick!141 headcanons:

• When someone gets sick, Gaz will bully the hell out of them. Last time he told Ghost he had the worst case of sniffles known to man (god knows how he didn't get disintegrated at the spot). But, he's also the one to make ginger tea, bring some snacks, flirt some lemsip out of that pretty nurse for his sick teammates. His actions really balance out the jokes.

• When he gets sick himself, he usually gets all of that back, everyone makes sure he's got everything he needs, and he ends up with way too much snacks, tea, and medicine. He's usually quick to get better, yet it warms his heart to know they care about him just as much as he does about them.

• Soap gets dramatic when he's feeling off. Not on missions, he knows how and when to push through, but God forbid he's going though a cold back on base, he'll let everyone know how fucking miserable he is. If he has an option to take a day or two off, he will do it, screw everything until he's back on his feet. Also, Ghost would usually ignore the rambles but then check up on him every now and again, just to make sure he's actually OK, and there's nothing major going on.

• Ghost usually gets more gruff and moody when he's sick. He also tries to avoid everyone, and he just sleeps it off if he can. Having a runny nose when you wear a mask all the time is not fun, it gets wet and awful. He doesn't like to miss the gym, too, but he usually goes easy if he's not well. The only thing Soap really scolds him for is that he keeps smoking anyway.

• Sick Price is a nightmare for the rest of 141. Not only the man is a fucking workaholic, he's also stubborn as hell. He'd be sitting in his office working his ass off even if his head is stuffed, and he's really not in shape to deal with all that paperwork. It requires a joint effort from all of them to get him to drop it and rest some, and him getting more irritable doesn't help it. That attitude also makes it worse for him, so he's usually sick for longer because he doesn't really allow himself time to recover and jumps straight back the second he feels just a smidge better.

• Soap usually has these awful high fevers for the first couple of nights, he's shivering and all that. Ghost brings him extra blankets and stays with him sometimes, especially when it's really bad. He's seen Johhny being really out of it because of how high his fever was, the guy couldn't even figure out how to use his phone, had forgotten about the meds and was a complete mess. So, Ghost tracks that for him, and makes sure he's OK, and that his fever doesn't fry his brains ("god knows you haven't got a lot left in that noggin, Johnny, you need every braincell").

• Price has a secret family recipe for chicken noodle soup that he refuses to give away, but when one of his guys is really not OK, he usually makes some. Even Ghost can't resist it. He's reluctant to let anyone in, but the smell really hits home, so he opens the door. The small "thank you" he blurts out really tells Price a lot.

"You're welcome, Simon. And you're off for tomorrow, get some rest, OK?"

Also, the only other person that he just can't not let in is Soap. Gaz would just drop off a tray full of things at his doorway, shout him a quick "get well soon, Lt" and be out of his hair, but Soap is a whole another story. Soap is relentless. One time he stayed at his door for hours, so now Ghost knows better than to resist him, it's a fight he cannot win. God knows he tried. Having him is honestly good, too. He somehow makes it easier just by being there, he reminds Ghost to drink his water, makes him comfortable in a way Ghost would never care to, not when it comes to himself.

#cod mw2 #soapghost #john price #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #gaz cod

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dark-is-d3ad · 4 months

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biker!Ghost 1

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dark-is-d3ad · 4 months

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"Tea is ready, where you at?"

#soapghost #simon ghost riley #moving #headcanon #low key cosplay i dunno what i'm doing

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dark-is-d3ad · 4 months

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Soapghost 106: liability

Ft. Captain John Price

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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Found a meme. Tell me that's not Ghost lol

#simon ghost riley #meme #he looks stable but is he really

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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Moving AU, part 3, anyone? Haven't got a tv and a ps5 like Ghost, but I do have some lights now (gosh my own headcanon made me want them so bad, why do I do this to myself).

Part 1, part 2, part 2.5 - context.

• A few days later it really starts getting on Ghost's nerves. Even with help from Gaz and Roach, a lot of their stuff isn't sorted yet, and they're both tired of it already. He's used to order, his home was always organised, and this is nowhere near it, and it won't be for foreseeable future. So, he does the only sane thing every adult person should do in this situation: holes up on the sofa and goes on a gaming binge.

• Ghost's sofa is black (of course), huge, and it's just a sofa. No plead, no pillows. A comfy one, yes, but to Soap it looks kinda empty. Well, given that its owner only has one chair to his name, Johnny knows better than to expect something else. Yet, he kind of wants to sneak in a couple of pillows, and is very surprised when Ghost protects his space with ferocity of a wild cat. No funny colours on his sofa of doom, not even a smidge. Johnny's slightly upset, but he's not giving up on the plan.

• He starts by fucking around. Then sits down to play Diablo with Ghost in the evening. Brings a plead and a nice mustard-coloured pillow in a little while, just to make himself comfy for the time being, OK? It's fucking cold. And then he conveniently forgets them there. Several days of shenanigans after, Ghost concedes.

"Pillow allowance," he says, so seriously it cracks Soap up. "No more than two, no patterns." No patterns it is. Johnny still counts it as a win.

• Soap's go-to sorting method is "make em piles". He's got a clean laundry pile, a dirty laundry pile, a kitchen pile, a random stuff pile, and he keeps throwing things around when he goes through the rest of the stuff they have to sort. With all due respect, that annoys Ghost to an extreme degree, because there's piles everywhere, but it doesn't look like they're getting smaller. If anything, they started to consume the little space they had.

• The "dirty dishes" pile is one of them, and Ghost finally takes care of it. They both dislike washing dishes, but someone's gotta do it. And it apparently annoys him more than Johhny, so Ghost gets to get rid of it. He feels so much better when it's all done, dried, and put away.

• They've split the wardrobe, and Soap's side is still partly in the pile state. It's also how Ghost learns that Soap doesn't really iron his clothes unless it's like a shirt he's going to wear on a wedding today, and he has to. At this point he's really starting to question his own sanity. Why does it bother him what Soap does (or doesn't) with his clothes? He really needs to chill out, he decides.

• Johnny's really doing just fine, because none of what Ghost does really bothers him, and he's in his lane, somehow managing to hop around his newly made piles while still on crutches, and he does it so effortlessly. It's Ghost who keeps stumbling on them and cursing all the time.

• Somehow there's not much space for Ghost's gun collection. Ok, he's got a place to work on them, but he doesn't want to store them away. After a while, they decide that one of the bedroom walls can be sacrificed so he can hang them up nicely.

"Are we sleeping in the armoury now?" Soap asks.

"You've got your toys,I've got mine."

Fair.

• Johnny's art room is one of the spaces that actually came together from the get go. All of his things had fit, and it's got a nice space to it, enough to put an easel out, and maybe set up a composition. And the light is good. There's a shelf in there almost bursting from the art supplies he had accumulated over the years. The best way to describe it would be "organised chaos." Somehow, while in other spaces the chaos really gets to Ghost, he enjoys it in the art room. He's been spending more and more time in there.

• Johnny has a little really soft futon with loads of pillows in the corner, just next to his desk (it's not for naps, OK? It's for a performance series where the artist explores their understanding of comfort, and if they happen to start to snore, it's a part of it). So, Ghost is now also an artist of sorts. He's been doing these performance pieces quite alright, working on it tirelessly almost every afternoon, and Johnny really doesn't mind it for two big reasons. First: he gets to draw relaxed Ghost, sometimes even maskless. Second: it's nice to join him there, too. It's a perfect cuddling space.

• What Ghost loves about the futon corner is that it is freaking ultimate safety. Even his sofa wasn't ever as good as this. He can actually sleep there without nightmares. The fact that Johnny's around doing his thing, the quiet rustling of pencil on paper, music low on the background - it knocks him out better than any sleeping aids he had ever tried. He usually comes there with a book, but never goes through more than 10 pages at most.

• After their kitchen finally got sorted, they found a quick understanding. If one cooks, the other does the dishes. Soap basically takes over dinners, Ghost does breakfasts, and they usually have a snack in the midday rather than a proper lunch. Also, Johnny shows him a couple of tricks to level up his cooking game, so now breakfasts are getting fancier. Ghost's secretly very proud of himself. And Soap doesn't miss a chance to praise him when it turns out good which honestly helps way more than he's ready to admit.

• Ghost basically stole a couple of finished paintings and hung them up in the living room. Soap tries to argue that they aren't his best ones, and they aren't good enough, and he could probably find a multitude of reasons why they should take them down.

"But I like them," Ghost says simply. And it's hard to argue with that. Besides, after a couple of days, Johnny gets used to it, and deems them "not too bad". It's a tie now, and a bloody good comeback for the pillow intrusion.

• He lets Johnny help him take care of the guns. It's a nice chill evening, they work on them together, Soap's humming a little silly tune under his breath. Ghost says they really have to take them out on a shooting range when his shoulder is better, shoot some plates or something. Johnny's thrilled about it.

• A few days later, Ghost finally declares war on the rest of the piles, and goes through them in one go, not stopping until they're gone for good. There's very little random stuff left after that, and they just put it all in a box and make a very responsible adult decision to put it away and go through it sometime later. Both know that it will probably never happen, but do they care? Not really.

~~~

"You know what's weird, Johnny?"

"What?"

"You know how if you're left with extra parts in a Lego set that means you've messed up a step somewhere?"

"Yeah, and?"

"We've got some screws, and that one is definitely from that chair. It's supposed to go in first."

"Oh, hell no, Si, we're not doing it again."

~~~

• They are even hosting a little housewarming party. Ghost never had one, so he's way too anxious, although it's just the close circle - their team + Laswell and her wife.

P.S. there will probably be one more part with the party, some neighbour action, a little more of outside stuff, but that's where I'm wrapping it up. After all, the move is done, piles are almost gone, and I'm close to being a functional human being again.

#ghostsoap #headcanon #soapghost #moving

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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More fibro!Ghost because it hurts af, and I'm in for that infusion thingy literally right now, a month ahead of what it was supposed to be. So, I'm not suffering alone, i'm taking the guys on the ride. Christmas with Soap's family, some fluff, and caring Soap included in the pack.

~~~

• The leave is unexpected but still nice, and when Johnny offers to tag along with him on his trip to Glasgow, Ghost agrees, because why not? As if he's got something else to do. Soap promises all sorts of good things except for bourbon ("they'll be offended, and ye have ta try some proper Scotch at least once"), and also that means they'll get some time together. Ghost's sold.

• He's been doing just fine lately, despite last three weeks being full of missions. Hadn't had any problems at all, even though there wasn't much rest between them. It's a bit too good to be true, but who is he to complain about it? His next infusion is scheduled for mid January, and while the month before one is usually the worst because the effect from the previous one starts to wear off, this time he apparently has it good. Unbelievably good.

• Soap's family is big, and loud, and overwhelmingly funny, they roast each other a lot, and all of them got some sick burns, especially his dad. Ghost secretly loves it.

• They're also suprisingly understanding about his balaclava. There is only one question: is he comfortable with it? He nods, and then no one bats an eye, they're so freaking normal about it, as if he's not wearing one at all. After all this time it's refreshing.

• Soap, apparently, doesn't shut up about him at home. They all think he's some badass cool guy, and he fucking blushes, and oh it's so good to have the mask, saves him the embarrassment. He's really not used to this, it's just his job, after all.

• Ghost gets back at him, too, tells them some cool stories about Soap and his demolition work, how he's the smartest guy in the team, and how Johnny saved his ass in a couple of very hairy situations. He finds it really funny when Soap's in his shoes now, mumbling something along the lines of "oh it's just work."

• They go to the gym together early in the mornings, they also go for chilly morning runs every other day, and it's so enjoyable. Sometimes Soap's dad goes with them, too. Scotland is beautiful, hills, and rocks, and fog; Johhny huffs slightly when he runs up the hills, and Ghost feels so light, his legs bouncing softly off the road. The runner euphoria hits him here much more often than it usually does.

• They don't really share a bed, both deemed it too much for a family visit, but they do hang out at Johnny's room until wee hours, and then Ghost sneaks back to the guest room, heart pounding.

• Johnny's nephews are adorable. Ghost teaches them basic survival skills and quickly wins their sympathy. "They're little menaces, Si, why would ye teach them how to start a fire with next to nothing on hand?! I dinnae tell'em for a reason!" The little ones get a lecture on responsibility, and there's that. What was learnt can't be unlearnt, eh? They're finally allowed to practice in the chimney, and they're thrilled when they succeed. Ghost is put on permanent supervising duty because he caused it. He doesn't mind, for a grown-up he's having way too much fun with little pyromaniacs. And he hasn't even shown them his favourite knife yet. That will probably have to wait, he doesn't want to be banned from the house yet. He'll teach them how to throw it one day.

• They get out in the city for a day to get some gifts. Ghost heavily relies on Johnny in this endeavour, but they manage to find something for everyone. The little ones are getting some nerf guns, there's a bunch of knitting supplies for Soap's mum, a nice bottle of scotch for his dad, and some little things for his brother and sisters. Then they split for a bit, because Johnny is hell-bent on finding "the thing", and he refuses to tell Ghost what it is.

• Ghost uses the time to take a walk and get the stupidest kinda thing: a soft cover that goes on a helmet, bright red, fluffy, with little horns on top. He never knew Johnny had a motorcycle in the first place, but that thing looks like it's his already, so he figures he'd just add it to the gift he already got him.

• Christmas is chill and homely, and the dinner is amazing. On Boxing day Ghost doesn't expect any gifts, but he gets a hand-knitted balaclava from Soap's mum, black with a white scull, very much resembling his mask. It's warm and soft, and honestly fucking cute. He also gets some drawings from the little ones, with lots of fire and all of them drawn together around him, a huge ominous figure, but the scull has a little cheeky smile drawn over it. It makes his heart ache a little. It's been years since he got gifts like that. Since... he shuts the thoughts down as quickly as he can.

Then, he gets "the thing" from Johnny, and it's a set of bed linen with hello kitty prints. And it's light pink. "You bastard," Ghost says quietly. "I like it," he adds, almost non-audibly, feeling like he confesses a sin or something. It's really funny, and he's definitely keeping it. Johnny just grins at him, putting the fluffy cover on his helmet.

~~~~

It's all fucking great, until next day Ghost has a night terror. In his dream he's tortured and buried alive again, but this time, there's not only Vernon but lots of bodies, they decay on him, there's no space, their sharp bones pierce him through, and he screams from the pain, and he's dying agonisigly slowly. His own scream wakes him up. The pain is still there, but bearable, his heart beats so fast as if it's going to jump out of his chest. And then he tries to sit up in the bed, and it goes from a 4 to a 9 in an instant. Ghost groans and falls back down on the pillows, defeated. It just had to happen now, of all times, when he's got no access to medical, no meds on him, and it's mid holidays on the other side of the country. And it was all going so good. He probably woke the whole house up with his screaming, too. "Fuck," he thinks.

It hurts as hell, his palms and wrists are the worst, they throb violently as if someone was crushing his bones with a hammer, and there's no fucking breaks. No ebb and flow, no nothing, just pure agony.

A couple minutes later Soap knocks. "Ye OK? Can I come in?"

Ghost hums a yes. "Had a nightmare," he tries to explain. It comes out a bit slurred, and Soap picks up on it immediately. He's seen him in bad flares enough times now to know what's up from the get go.

"Ye got something ye can take?"

"Nuh-uh."

"How bad is it?"

Ghost doesn't come up with an answer to that. It's hard to gauge it, it's so fucking overwhelming.

Johnny turns on small lights, but it still makes it worse. Ghost's losing it quickly, much quicker than it usually would happen, and it scares him. It's not even a ride downhill, he's freaking falling off a cliff at this point.

"Yer as pale as death," - Soap says. He climbs up on the bed and starts doing whatever is that massage of his is, but it barely touches the pain at all. It's still comforting, and Simon moves closer, and that little movement hurts, everything fucking hurts so much.

He's not gonna last through this one. A day, maybe, two at most. If it's a long one that was building up this entire month, he's absolutely fucked.

Another knock on the door. That's Soap's mum. He gets up and goes to talk with her, voice low. He's explaining something calmly, but Ghost can't make out words, and he's too busy trying to keep his composure.

She leaves.

"She's right, Si, we can try whatever meds we have here, and if that doesn't work, we gotta go get ye to the doctor."

"Y'remember I'm legally dead?" Ghost slurrs.

"Oh, fucking hell!"

Soap's mum enters the room. She's got a little tray with some meds and two cups, and a she's got a bottle of water laying on it, too.

"Too early for coffee, and I really hope ye'll sleep some more," she says. "But I got ye some milk. Get well, Simon."

"Thanks, ma," Johnny says. Ghost mumbles a "thank you, mam" too, but she just waves him off, almost offended.

"Ye get better and then ye'll get to "mam" me again. Wake me up if ye need something."

"I'll take care of it. Go to sleep, ma, love ye," - Soap takes the tray, and she leaves.

He takes a shit load of pills. Like the max safe dose he can in one go. The milk is warm and tastes nice, but drinking it all means having to sit upright for a bit, and that sucks major balls now, so he lays back down and closes his eyes. Soap's hands are back on his head, rustling his hair, but he shuffles away.

"It hurts, Johnny."

"It's ok. I'm only trying to help ye." Soap pauses.

"Ye know, that's how mum used to make it for me when I was a wee lad. The milk. Made me a cup now, too."

"It's good."

"Missed that more than I thought."

Soap still stays with him for the night.

It gets even worse by sunrise. Ghost honestly thought there was a limit to it, but it reveals him new fucking shades of suffering. He's fading in and out, sees Soap sometimes. Sometimes he's alone. At some point he really hopes he won't wake up again, because waking up hurts so much he cries in the pillow. The curtains are closed, but the thin strip of light that gets through them is searing, as if it tries to burn itself in the back of his scull. He loses track of time.

In one of this quick bits Soap helps him to get to the bathroom. He doesn't remember how he ends up in bed again. Next time he wakes up Soap's there, but he's got two more guys with him, Ghost doesn't know them. He tries to ask Johnny, but the question refuses to form. Soap still gets him.

"Doctors," he says. "A family friend and his friend. Yer OK, Si, I trust them. You can trust them too."

Ghost would have said a thing or two about trust, but he's so overwhelmed with pain he decides it can wait. And he really does need help, and Johnny's sorting his mess for him the best he can.

"We'll do what you usually get," tells him one of them slowly, making sure he follows him. "And we'll leave a note for you so your doctor knows."

Ghost nods. It doesn't take too long before an IV is set up, they double check the dose and let it run.

"We don't have all the equipment, so we'll make do with what we got, and check on you every now and again. If you feel any metallic taste in your mouth, let us know."

He nods again. Johnny doesn't let him pass out, talks to him, asks him stupid questions. At first it feels like a torture, but then the pain becomes slightly duller, and it's easier to stay awake, even though he's exhausted beyond measure.

"I really contemplated getting ye a vet to get yer meds. The stuff is heavily controlled, these guys could easily lose their licence for what they're doing," Soap tells him. "And the vet's got the same thing, so I thought we could pretend yer legally a horse, and write it off like that."

Ghost chuckles. Then he realises doing so no longer hurts. One of the guys runs him through usual checks quickly - pulse ox, blood pressure, heart rate - and leaves him be again.

"I even came up with a name and the description," Soap continues," Would ye mind to be a black bay stallion called Riley?"

Simon glares at him in response.

"The alternative was," Soap's losing it now, really, he laughs so hard he tears up, "50 rabbits in a trenchcoat. Or like about 10 dogs that needed an emergency surgery on the same fucking day."

"I'd rather be a horse," - Ghost finally manages. The IV is definitely working, from a neverending flow of pain it turned into waves that come and go, and it's so, so much better already. His brain still feels like mush, but at least he can talk again.

"Scared the shit outta me, Si," Soap confesses. "These guys are legally treating me dad for a bout of back pain, yer not gonna be on any records. Called Price, too, they needed to know what ye were on and shit."

"He's on break."

"Ye, I figured he likes ye alive. It only took a couple phone calls from him. He does wanna talk with ye when we're back."

That can't be good. He's too tired to care about it now, though.

"I wasn't gonna die from that," he retorts.

"It looked like ye were," - says Johnny way too seriously. "OK, I see yer getting better, the attitude's back, can I punch ye now?"

"How long I was out?"

"It's 31st today. Nearly two days, three if we count the first evening."

"Fuck. I'm so sorry."

He can't tell if Johnny's annoyed with him or sad, but he has a weird expression on his face.

"Yer a complete wanker, Si, sometimes I hate ye so much."

"Thank you," - Ghost says, and opens his arms for a hug. He desperately needs it, and it seems like Johnny does need one, too. After all of what Ghost had put him through. Came with him, ruined his break with his family, made him worry and find him fucking IV ketamine from nowhere. He didn't even have any of the rescue meds with him. Great job, Simon, really outdid yourself with this one.

But Johnny does hug him, and the hug doesn't hurt at all, so Ghost just pulls him on the bed and hugs him tighter, almost afraid to let go. As if something would break if he did. Johnny doesn't let go either. They stay like that, in silence, until the infusion setup starts beeping.

After he's done, they make him drink some water and tell him to rest. He really feels a lot better, the residual high from ketamine doesn't feel remotely as confusing as the brain fog was. He's still not perfectly steady on his feet, but that'll do.

He even joins the family for the New Year Eve. Mrs McTavish practically forces him under a plead on the sofa. "I can see how pale ye are even through the mask!"

He tries to apologise again for the mess he had caused, and gets scolded for the attempt by the rest of them. And Johhny adds to it, the traitor. He really loses in numbers, and under the joint assault of McTavish clan, he has to concede. Not his fault, they say, he didn't spoil anything, he's fine, and they're happy to have him.

Anyway, in the end Ghost gets a plate of festive food, and he gets to hang out a little, and to rest close to the warmth of the chimney, and when the littles come to cuddle him, he thinks that he really doesn't deserve Johnny. And all the people Johnny brings alongside him.

But Soap thinks different. Soap sees Simon falling asleep at his parents' couch, and his nephews passed out snuggling him, and thinks that's the best fucking thing that happened to him in a while. Even if that thing is a stubborn bastard of a guy that doesn't know when to take a break.

~~~

"Will ye be back for Easter?" Mum asks him.

"Dinnae. I'll try."

"Bring yer friend again if he wants. He's a good lad, and wee bairns like him."

Oh.

~~~

P.S. about the talk.

It's not a discharge yet, but Price will enforce stricter rules on him (now it's not "just tell me if you're feeling off", it's "every time it's even a little off, you tell me", which leaves him no room to cover things up), and they will account for it more when missions are planned. And he has to have rescue meds on him at all times from now on.

#ghostsoap #headcanon #soapghost #ghost has fibro #fibromyalgia #simon ghost riley

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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Yeah, more about moving. I have no idea where the CUNT mug is now, so assume Soap is making coffee behind the shot.

But yeah, got the visual on the guys, they've moved in. How copy?

#soapghost #ghostsoap #headcanons #moving

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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Hey, moving thing, but with an angsty twist? What if that mission from part 1 went really-really wrong?

Or, Ghost comes back alone. (I promise no one dies, okay? We've had enough of that shit already)

~~~

He doesn't even turn on the lights when he comes in. The flat is cold and messy, somehow feeling empty and full to the brim at the same time, boxes piling like dark ominous towers. Ghost can't help but think that Johnny's stuff is here. And that Johnny's fucking not. And that absence fucking hurts. That opens the way for bone-chilling anxiety to creep in again. It just so happens that Sergeant fucking McTavish caught a bullet. It just so happens he did so because he covered Ghost a little too well. He sits down on the floor, back leaning on the wall.

Then he suddenly gets really angry. "Go home, get some sleep." That's what Price had told him, pretty much forcing him out of the waiting room. They didn't let him in ICU anyway. Sleep, for fuck's sake. As if he could sleep now. He really needs to, though, he hasn't slept for 48 hours. It's probably already messing with his brain at this point.

See, you can get used to people dying, but to an extent. Ghost's afraid to be hopeful. The only thing he knows is that this, if it happens - it will wreck the rest of him up, and he's already fucked up enough. More than enough.

It only takes one Johnny to crumble a mountain of self-restraint, one fucking cheerful attentive guy that you can actually trust. And then you take Johnny away, and that jenga puzzle he was carefully building out of whatever was left of him - it will be so, so wobbly again. Very fucking dangerously so. It might be all it takes for it to fall apart.

"And take a shower," - he remembers. That's a simple order. That he can do. Towels are in there somewhere, deep in those towers of boxes with their shit. He rummages in some, lights still off. It's weird and not efficient, but he just can't force himself to see it all again, that will restart the circle of anxious self-hate. It should've been him. He was supposed to be in Johnny's place, or dead for good.

He finds the towels. And now he needs fucking soap. And it's somehow not there with the rest of bathroom shit. "Soap," his tired brain catches on. He fucking needs Soap, the thought almost sending him into a breakdown yet again.

There he fucking is, looking for soap in their shared flat. Oh, he knows where Soap is. He's out cold in that military hospital, hopefully still kicking.

That sends him into frenzy, and he lets go for once. He pushes the boxes hard, and they fall, loud and awful, and things fall out, and he oh so doesn't care. He proceeds to punch the wall until his knuckles hurt too much to continue. There's blood but not much relief.

That awful mixed overwhelming feeling finally subsides. The flat is now a hot mess, and Simon Riley is a mess too, even more so.

"If I shower and catch some sleep, Price will let me come back," his mind supplies. That sounds good enough, so he does exactly that. He's not good at feelings, but he's a good soldier.

His dreams are repetitive and scary, Soap in all of them. He dies there in a multitude of ways.

He wakes up with a gasp. He's on the floor in the living room, but he was sure he fell asleep in the bedroom, on the mattress. He checks the phone, battery's low, but there's a new message from Price.

"Soap woke up. Come over ASAP."

Something inside him relaxes its hold, and Ghost feels like he breathes properly again.

"On my way," - he replies.

He's out in less than 5.

#ghostsoap #headcanon #soapghost #moving #angst

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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You know what I was looking for but couldn't find? Ghost having fibro headcanons or fics. Gotta do it myself, then.

Disclaimer: I don't know if that would work out at all, something tells me he wouldn't be able to keep up with active duty if he had it, but anyway. Let's assume Ghost is a BAMF, and he finds a way.

• Price knows. Ghost told him when he got diagnosed, because he didn't want to be a liability in the field. He was scared that he'd get discharged. Price found him a treatment that actually worked instead. "Just check in with me if you're not feeling well, alright?"

Ghost rarely does. Only if he thinks it could impact the mission or he can't function at all, which doesn't happen too often.

• He's not new to pain, and he's got a high tolerance. Most of the time he can just push it down and ignore it, no one even suspects a thing. Or rather he thinks they don't. While most of the base really doesn't, Gaz and Soap have figured it out a while ago, and if he gets an unprompted cup of tea on the bad days, a nap break, or they go on a jog instead of sparring or lifting, it's pure coincidences. They care about him in their own little ways.

• With the infusions scheduled properly he's mostly doing really good. He trains, he fights, he's sharp and focused, and there's no repercussions from it. Sometimes he even thinks he made it all up. It's on very bad days when he clearly realises he still has it. It's there, just waiting for him to let his guard slide, and then it'll fucking melt his bones from the inside for days on end.

• Pain contributes to the scary aloof vibes he got. It does get him even more shut off and grumpy that he already is, though. That's how Soap tracks it.

• If it's really bad, he hides away in his room and sits it out. Also, he is bad at accepting help, especially when he's in pain, it makes him vulnerable. He hates it.

• Infusions fuck him up a little. It's a shit ton of lidocaine and ketamine that they drip into him slowly, monitoring it so they don't give him a heart attack. But it's just half a day, every 4 months, and then he's golden for a good while. Well worth it

~~~~~

Sometimes it gets unpredictable. This one starts out as mild exhaustion and achy joints, and at first he writes it off as just being tired from a mission. They wrapped everything up and are heading back to base, so he'll just catch some shuteye and be fine. But by the time they land, everything is amplified, too bright, too loud, uniform coarse and prickly against his skin. It hurts like he was run over by a truck. His head feels stuffed, thoughts thick and blurry; it's exhausting to follow them, words and images fading in that sick black and white fog, sentences falling apart. It doesn't make much sense. He doesn't remember how he gets to his room. The bad-bad days are when Ghost fucking breaks, and this is shaping up to be one of those at record speed. He whimpers in relief when boiling hot shower takes some of the pain away, but for mere seconds, the short break only making the return of it sharper. It soon blends into a neverending stretch of pain-pain-pain, consumes him whole. He slides on the floor, water still flowing, and just sits there for a long while, not really being ready to move, head empty.

"Ghost? You alright in there?"

"What, Johnny?" he rasps. Sounds send waves of pins and needles through his body. It makes it worse.

"You're late for the debrief, Price asked me to get ye."

"Fuck," Ghost groans. How did he forget? "Give me a minute."

He's slow, his brain refusing to cooperate with him, but he manages to dress up. Pain and brain fog make him unsteady on his feet, like if he had a bad flu. When he opens the door, he's met with a concerned look.

"Are ye OK? Ye look like shite."

Ghost hates that concern wuth a subtle undertone of care in Soap's voice. It makes him feel weak.

"I'm fine. Leave it, Soap," he snaps. It's very apparent that he's not, but walking takes all of his focus, and thank god Soap follows him in silence.

Price sees right through him, but says nothing, just gives him a long look before they start. Ghost is not really helpful with the debrief. It's become even harder to focus, and his vision blurs slightly now. He manages to add some details to the intel they've got, but it really takes it out of him. When it's finally over, his gaze is glassy and unfocused, and he sees black spots from pain. He realises he might actually pass out. He really needs to get back to his room.

He leaves last, and stumbles into Soap who's apparently been waiting him around the corner, and has to grab him not to fall over. Soap steadies him on his feet.

"Lt? What's up? Fucking talk to me." He looks almost angry.

"Help me get to my room. Please," Ghost concedes. He feels fucking pathetic, but he's not in shape to make it back on his own. His ears are ringing, vision getting dark, pain searing throughout his whole body.

Soap walks him back along the wall, hand on his back.

"You sure you weren't injured today?"

"Affirmative."

He sees things in flashes. He probably closed his eyes at some point. Soap lands him on the bed, and at this point Ghost's given up. A particularly bad wave of pain makes him groan.

Soap takes matters into his hands from there.

"Let me check ya real quick." His hands run quickly, feeling Ghost's body.

"Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere," Ghost moans, almost delirious from pain at this point, it doesn't feel real anymore. Johnny's there in his fever dream, undressing him, tucking him into bed. He wants to protest, but it hurts-hurts-hurts, so he's just trying not to make sounds. And he fails even at that.

"Got any pain meds? Want me to get medical?"

Ghost just shakes his head. "It will get better," he slurrs, "in a few days."

"Are ye outta yeir heid?!" Oh, now Johnny is properly pissed off with him. "Ye stubborn bastard," he finishes before he storms out of his room.

Ghost pulls the mask off. He's falling through the bed, exhaustion pulling him under. He knows he won't fall asleep, it hurts too much for that, but this limbo of not thinking and falling-falling-falling is the closest to comfort he can get now. He hears the door open again.

"Oh," goes Soap stopping dead in his tracks.

Ghost pulls the blanket up to his eyes.

"I got ye something," Johnny says quickly. "Here. It's weed-based, got some real deal in there, but they said it doesn't make you high. So no fun for ye, but it should help with the pain."

Ghost is up for anything at this point, so he takes it. The whole dose is in a syringe without a needle, and he lets the oil sit under his tongue for a bit, hoping that it will make it work faster.

"Water, snacks," Soap continues. "I'll stay until it works, alright? They said to return to them if it doesn't."

"Thank you, Johnny," Ghost says quietly. His breaths are still laboured, exhales sounding more like little whimpers. He is too tired to care.

Soap sits on the side of the bed.

"Can I try a thing?" He asks suddenly. "Mum used to do it when I had migraines. Maybe it will work for ye, too."

Ghost wants to be left alone, but he also wants it to pass, and Johnny's staying for about an hour anyway. Because meds. And that thing might help, too. So he nods.

Soap puts his hands on his head and gently massages it, strokes messy blonde hair lightly, puts a little pressure in just the right places. Touch is usually unbearable in this state for Ghost, but this is somehow perfectly balanced. He relaxes into it, and exhales. Relief comes in little tiny waves, taking the edge off the pain.

After a bit, he shifts closer to Jonny's lap, burying his face in the side of Soap's thigh. That way Soap doesn't have to extend his arms, it's better. It weirdly comfortable, and deep inside he just wants to stay like that forever.

"Don't stop," comes out soft and a little muffled.

Soap doesn't.

"I knew ye had something up, but I didn't know it was this bad," he says in a little while.

"It's just a bad day."

"And how often that happens?"

"Sometimes. It's usually more... manageable."

Ghost slides one of his hands from under the blanket. Soap picks up on the unsaid, and starts to do the same magic on it. The pain fades, slowly but surely, exhaustion and emptiness crawling in its place. Johnny's presence grounds him. He's torn between the urge to shut off again and the desire to just keep Soap there forever, he wants more, he needs more. It's suprisingly easy to give in.

"Stay," he asks, half-asleep.

Soap crawls in the bed, scooting himself over. He shifts a little, getting comfortable. Ghosts moves his other hand towards him, and Johnny continues with the massage.

The blanket slips off Ghost's face. "Didn't lie about the opposite," Soap thinks absentmindedly. His heart skips a bit, when Ghost buries his forehead in his shoulder and snuggles up to him.

"Next time it happens, tell me, OK?"

He feels the nod.

#ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #headcanon #ghost has fibro #fibro #fibromyalgia

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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Ghost: Silly putty implies the existence of serious putty.

Soap: I believe that is called C4.

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

Text

Let's make it a series, because I'm overwhelmed with packing. Got ya the mugs, too, they're real.

Ghost and Soap moving in together, part 2.

(Part 1 if you want some more context)

• Soap loves plants, but in his line of work he's not home often enough to take proper care of them, so he resorts to getting the least awful out of the artificial ones. Ghost says they're perfect for collecting dust. They get into a surprisingly heated argument about it. Ghost lets Soap win, but he's not convinced.

• When they come back from that mission (which wasn't nearly as smooth and easy as promised by intel), both are on medical leave for at least several weeks. Ghost has been shot in the shoulder, and Soap managed to twist his ankle so badly it broke. Got all of the ligaments torn, too. They come back home late in the evening, and are greeted with boxes, dismantled furniture, everything left exactly as it was, now covered in a thin layer of dust. "Fucking hell, Johnny," - manages Ghost, dropping his backpack on the floor. There's not much to add.

• Sitting on the floor with tea is a tradition now, apparently. Honestly, they're way too tired now to deal with any of this.

• They have the stupidest fight about who's gonna take care of the heavy things. Ghost gives it a go before Soap can protest and ends up reopening the wound.

"You pull your stitches again, Si, and I'm gonna finish you off myself," - Soap promises, stitching him up.

"I'd rather you worry about that leg of yours. Heavy lifting and crutches don't go together that well."

"We need to get the bed built at least, aye?"

"Fuck it," Ghost exhales, wincing when the needle goes through the skin again. They end up just moving the mattress into the bedroom (it still took a ridiculous amount of time).

"You know where the bedding stuff is? Right there." Soap points to a big box in the bottom of the stack.

"Fuck it," repeats Ghost and sprawls on the mattress. He's exhausted, his shoulder stings, that mattress is softer than whatever they slept on for weeks now, the heating's on, and Johnny's right there, tucked at his good side, almost cuddling him. He really doesn't care about anything else.

• They end up calling in reinforcements the next day. Yeah, that 'I can do it myself' attitude is something they both suffer from, but they're definitely not in shape to deal with this on their own. It takes a little bribery (a promise of takeout dinner and a couple of good bottles of scotch) to convince Gaz and Roach to come.

• When they get in, it gets way louder than it was. Ghost thought Johnny was the loudest, but these two on leave are something else entirely. Yet, they do spread the boxes out on the floor which makes it easier to take things out, and move the art stuff to the second bedroom so they have space to build the shelf. That helps a lot.

• Ghost gets to sort things and put them away, and falls into a flow state. It doesn't bother his injury, and he's quick and productive. He's aligning Soap's spices in alphabet order, alright? Soap's definitely going to mess it up the second he touches it, but it doesn't matter.

• Johnny's really trying to carry as much as he can at once, but you can only take so much when you're on crutches. So, he hops around with a crutch in one hand, leg in a boot, one arm full of things, and he carries some in his mouth. The others have a field day joking because he can't come back at them in time. He does make all sorts of funny sounds to retort, but it only riles them up even more.

• "Wait, you've only got one bed? That's sus."

Ghost just glares at Gaz, and he drops the topic. But not for long.

"So, when's the wedding?"

He gets a pillow in his face from Soap who just had landed his ass on a sofa, and another threatening glare from Ghost. "The forest is big, Gaz. Easy to get lost," - he threatens, but there's no real heat behind it.

• By the end of the day it looks much better than before, but still nowhere near done. "Can we put your lights somewhere in the living room before we call it a day?" Ghost asks Soap, and he surprises himself with how soft it comes out.

Gaz and Roach just exchange long looks. They know better than to voice it, but the shared thought is "that's not Ghost, that's Simon". They don't want to scare him off, it's not often they get to see the guy in the first place. "Soap's a good influence on him," - Roach whispers almost non-audibly. - "Haven't seen him like that in years." Gaz just nods.

"Yeah, sure, bring them, and I'll wrap them around," - Soap sounds tired. It's been a long day. Their hands brush when they tweak the garlands to fix them in place, it feels like a little electric sparkle. Ghost catches Johnny's hand for a moment, and Soap makes that little surprised sound that's gonna etch itself in Simon's memory forever now.

• With the shelf in place, TV standing proudly in the centre of it, and books arranged neatly, the living room comes to life. Ghost's table is closer to the kitchen, his only black chair sticking out like a sore thumb among Soap's wooden ones. They all have different pillows on them, a chaotic mismatch of colour. It is somehow cozy, cosier than Ghost could have imagined, and they're not even done with it yet.

• Chinese takeaway, scotch, and Mortal Kombat on Ghost's PlayStation is the best way to finish the day. The little lights are on, the flat feels much better already, almost homely despite the mess. The sofa is big enough for all of them, but it still gives Johnny an alibi to stick himself to Simon's good side. It's not cuddling, there's just not enough space, and he ended up there, OK?

• Gaz destroys Ghost in MK, but Ghost just blames it on the shoulder. "Never knew you were a sore loser, Lt," pokes Roach.

"Say that again, and you're gonna become one," - Ghost deadpans. Soap starts snoring, passed out cold on his shoulder. That's when it finally hits him. He's home.

#ghostsoap #soapghost #moving #headcanon

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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OK, I'm moving soon, and I'm currently sitting in the middle of my ravaged flat surrounded by boxes, jars, and all sorts of things you never know you even had before it's time to go pack them up.

So here's a bunch of soapghost headcanons about moving in together.

• They end up helping each other to pack things. The flat they chose is a two-bed in Epping, really close to the forest. Easy to get to when they come back for a break, technically still in London, but in a quieter area on the outskirts of the city. Ghost checked for a multitude of things, including ways to get in and to retreat, hidden cameras, and he's making a custom surveillance system for it. You can never be too safe, right?

• The second bedroom is going to become Johnny's art studio. Ghost has dibs on the living room, he's got a huge TV and a PS5. And his humongous bookshelf will also go in there. They plan it out perfectly, so that they can spend time together, but also can have their alone time without bothering each other.

• Ghost refuses help at first, but then Johny just shows up with his portable speaker, and hangs out with him. It's a little distracting, and he has way too many books, they run out of boxes. Ghost never tells him, but he's grateful, it was getting overwhelming.

• Ghost's place looks neat, if not a little barren, his things are all sorted to perfection. He's got a collection of shotguns, too. And a huge table, perfect size to work on them comfortably. Cleaning and servicing guns never fails to calm him down. His favourite is an older one, a Benelli M2. It's in pristine condition albeit a little worn, its barrel needs to be changed because it can only last through so much shots, but Ghost kinda wants to keep it as it is, even though it's not practical. He's sentimental about it. They spend a lot of time packing them all up carefully.

• Johny actually asks him to come over, because his adhd gets unmanageable when he goes through all his things, and it's easier if a very specific person makes him stay on track, otherwise he'd be still stuck there reading his diaries and going through his pile of sketchbooks, and oh, the drawing supplies, he has the urge to use that beautiful box of designer gouache his sister gifted to him literally right now because he forgot about it, and now it's so tempting. Ghost thinks of it as of a mission, so he comes up with a strategy and keeps it tactical. And he makes Soap take breaks every once in a while.

• Soap's stuff doesn't fit into the van. Even with the furniture dismantled and packed, he's got so much things, a lot of them art supplies, a huge easel, half-finished paintings, canvases he forgot about or he hadn't had time to come back to. And his bed is freaking huge. They finally cram it in, but it's a really tight squeeze. Comparing to this, Ghost's was half-empty. Thank god their new place is on the bigger side.

• Ghost gets distracted, too, when they pack the paintings. He's not an artsy kinda guy, yet they are so good, he's entranced. It's Johnny's turn to make him focus. Soap doesn't think much of his art, and Ghost makes a mental note to compliment it more often. He really wants to see more. Hell, he'd even pose, if Soap ever asks for it. He won't tell him though.

• There's a "do not touch" black sketchbook with a little white scull drawn on the cover, and Soap flushes deep red and packs it away in record times. Ghost is intrigued beyond measure. He has assumptions of what's in there, and he sneakily checks it out when Soap goes to pack his clothes. It's full of sketches of him. Soap actually took his time to study him, he thinks, even the tattoos are all looking exactly right. The ones from the shower make him wonder if Soap actually memorised him that well or he got some sneaky reference pics (how did he manage that, the bastard). It's got notes, too. It takes an effort not to read them, but Ghost feels like he already intruded a bit too much, so he puts the sketchbook back where it was. Just in time, because Soap pops out with an absolutely ridiculous coat in his hands, and goes "hey, look what I used to wear when I was 18!"

• Ghost has a freaking lot of random jars. They're all empty. When asked about it, he confesses that he wanted to make jam, his grandfather used to make a lot of it every summer. It's one of the good memories he has, and there's not so many of them. He tried to make it once, but failed, and had to throw away the whole batch. They keep each and every one, although it seems stupid.

• Johnny's art stuff is a whole lot. He's got tree branches and clay, and a fucking mannequin (it scares Ghost every time he walks in Soap's living room, because his side vision registers it as a person, and he can't get over it). The mannequin has a crooked smiley face drawn on it with a sharpie. There's sheets of metal, fabric, a lot of acrylic, and a ton of instruments. He was trying to get into modern sculpture, Soap says, it didn't really work out. Needs more 3d thinking. Ghosts proposes to try again after they move. He's good at fixing stuff, and he's really good at guerilla warfare, they'll find a way to make even the weirdest thing Soap comes up with hold together.

• Soap's got little led garlands wrapped on every vertical thing at his place. At first Ghost thinks it's stupid, but when the night comes, and Soap lights all of them up, it actually feels almost magical. They sit on the floor with mugs of tea and coffee, and, although it's messy and everything is moved out of place, it's still beatiful, and it feels so safe. Ghost finds himself feeling more like a 5 y o than he probably ever did, sitting there just watching lights slowly light up and fade. He's never been good at making his places cozy. He'll ask Soap to work on their new flat to make it more like that. He really wants the lights there, too.

• Johnny's mugs are all different. He's got the "guns and coffee" with a redrawn Starbucks logo, the mermaid holds two pistols. Ghost gets the "under all your tattoos you're still a mainstream cunt" one when it's Johnny's turn to make tea. He pretends to be offended. There is a pink one with "unt" on it. It makes sense when Soap turns it, and the handle finishes the word. There's one with lots of bees, and it reads "bear daddy". Ghost makes the stupidest jokes about it.

• Ghost hasn't got a lot of kitchenware, and all his plates and mugs are white, the cheapest ones from IKEA. And he's only got one chair. No guests - no need. Johnny finds it a little depressing, but says nothing.

• Johnny's spicerack is probably the second biggest collection he has after his art stuff. He likes cooking, and he likes trying new recipes. His favourite go-tos sit separately on the kitchen counter. Ghost has to admit that he's really good. Ghost's spices are just salt and pepper, which gets him "and you live like that? Lt!" from Soap.

• When they finally move their stuff in, a call from Price comes. There's things to do like right now, get ready in 5, be at base in an hour and a half. Ghost likes his work, yet he can't help but get a little grumpy. He really wanted to get it over with. And to see what comes out of it with all things in place. And to have a chill evening with Johnny, watching these little lights again with some quiet ambient playing on the background. "It's OK," Soap says, "we'll get it sorted when we come back."

OK, that's gonna be it for now, I have a sad option and a silly option to go for, but I'd rather make a part two and separate them.

#ghostsoap #soapghost #headcanon #moving

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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months

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Y’all have waited so patiently for me to get my shit together and format this post, and for that, I thank y’all endlessly (for not calling me out on my avoidant personality and procrastination xoxo)

Without further ado, I give you…

Swamp’s GhostSoap Recs

PART TWO

(electric boogaloo)

My qualifications to make this post are that I’m neurodivergent and have read over half the damn archive at this point.

If you see your fic featured here and don't want it included in a rec post, just shoot me a dm! Will remove any from the list without question or complaint at the author's request.

Notes: I tried to sort some of them out into some broader categories for easier perusal, however, some fics might touch more than one of these topics. I went with whichever category was the MOST relevant in regard to the fic's content. Fics in italics are under 10K words. Stuff involving religious guilt and heavy religious undertones are marked in orange. Some fics are privated by the author- in that case the link might not work for you if you’re on mobile, so just look it up by author and title once you’re logged into your AO3 account. Happy reading!

Random Fics I Enjoyed and Can't Sort Into Broad Categories

The Wedding Lt. by SomnolentPavana

Like Watching Paint Dry by Grangers_apprentice

Mission Briefs by BleedingTypewriter

Don't be Scared by the Starting Gun by Suliana

Afraid (of Changing) by EmpressCirque

HALO by Cryypticchaotic

Tough Love by The_neurodivergent_nerd

Smooth Sailing on Choppy Water by coderaven

Poison Apple by surveycorpsjean

Punch Drunk by Drolly

Tesco's Finest by Vanemis

If You Don't Stop, I'll End up Believing You by Hochseeperle

Assorted AUs

like the dust (that hides the glow) by ArcadeGhostAdventurer [soulmates]

In My Time of Need by WhisperedWords12 [omegaverse]

lotus flower by exavibus [tattoo artist x florist]

Damaged Goods by Red_Clegane [lawyer x prostitute]

Safety Hazard by Red_Clegane [president's son x secret service]

On Leave

No Reqiuem by ice_hot_13

set your teeth against my throat (give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes) by aetherealmoss

let these hills absolve me by flowersferns (THE SHEERP FARMING FIC SOBBING CRYING)

solemn prayer, poppy in my hair by congee4lunch

A Scottish Bastard's Smile by SnarlingGherkin

The Fairtytale of Manchester by MildLimerence

Injury and/or Discharge

all that's said in the low light by headlocket (my favorite fic of all time actually if you haven't seen my 9000 other posts saying so)

My frozen heart (would melt just for you) by Red_Clegane

Clue by Wispscribbles

I Woke Up Underground by WispScribbles

Vicissitude by crows_and_curses

Yours Sincerely by LeoDoesGames

i'm a fire and i'll keep your brittle heart warm by marviless

Affirmative, Sir by Wixiany

To Drive a Man to Madness by Crypticchaotic

This Is (Mostly) P0rn

After Dark by Sylencia (THE BDSM CLUB FIC WOOF WOOF)

If I ever saw you try to be a saint (I'd be appalled) by Xalethar

Chicago Whiskey by Serpentwyne

Make Me Bad by Serpentwyne

gimme just a little bit (more) by applepieces [09!ghostsoap]

Promise Ring by LXVERSOFFENSE

Want It All by TuxedoHummingbird

A Fool's Gambit by MildLimerence

tame me by MikaelLo

the human condition by bilbhoebangins

All the Sins You Never Had the Courage to Commit by mothbeast

The Worthy Vessel by MildLimerence

Hotline by MildLimerence

Bonus Fic!

Here's a Gaz Centric, Poly141 fic that has ghostsoap in it but does not focus on it heavily enough to go in one of the other categories. This is Kyle's time to shine.

Hand Around My Heart by Grangers_apprentice

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