I know who has this. And I miss her

Again, you’re ignoring me when you’re done with the need of me. You don’t need me anymore so, you can decide to start treating me like shit again.

Did it ever come across your mind that I am always there for you because you’re my friend? And how could you just have a temper tantrum at me when you are having a bad day?

I gave you my last dollar. And this is how you treat me. I put on hold everything for you because you need it more than me, but you don’t even care if I die because of it. I trusted you, and gave you the power to kill me, and you took everything and shot me in the heart.

I do not want drama today. So, bloody idiot, you better not be cooking up stories to her and make her quarrel with me again or in a bad mood to me again.

The urge to want to help you feel better is there, but I must resist because this is what you have to deal yourself. But I’ll still be here when you need me.

Not exactly proud of my wrapping skills, but this will do.

Am I sad for you? Yes. But there’s nothing I can do for you as no words of comfort can help ease the pain and disappointment you’re feeling. And I don’t need the constant reminder of that from you. And so I will just say it once as I still care for you as my Friend, but after that I won’t say anymore. I will not give you a chance to scold or put me down because I was trying to show I care and trying my best to try help you feel better. It’s not healthy, not for me. I’m not your punching bag.

I won’t care excessively for my friends anymore. I have to recognise that, I have tk learn that. I’m done being misunderstood in my kind intentions, because it affects me greatly. People won’t understand that, like how you always say I won’t understand you, neither will you understtaand me.

Maybe I’ve forgiven you? Maybe I just don’t care anymore. I don’t know what I feel anymore. So I’m gg to let it be.

I must be such a Monster to you, for you to bitch about me everyday and scrutinise every little flaw of mine.

But rmb my dear Friend, you’re not flawless either.

I’ve stood by you when no one wanted to be with you. I’m not asking to be repaid, but to be treated like a human being.

I’m not someone whom you can treat like garbage when you don’t see a need for, and suddenly I’m diamond when you need my help. Is that the mark of a Friend? And despite this, I still cherish you as my Friend. I’m stupid aren’t I?

And that’s the beautiful thing about blind loyalty. Despite all the hurt you’ve been dealt with, you’ll still pledge your trust in that very person who stabbed you.

That’s stupidity. Yes I am stupid.

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.. They betrayed me. Stabbed my back.. But that’s life.. You’re nice and everyone is walking over you.. If you’re a jerk you get judged, you get hate… That’s what the society is… Everything sucks. No more true friendships, loyalty. There’s only judgement, betrayals.. You can’t trust anyone. You can’t be sure if you have a friend who will walk by your side for a long time, or if you have a “friend” who waits for the perfect chance to stab a knife in your back. You can’t know. You trust them and they break the trust. And then they come to apologize because they need you. But they don’t know that trust is like a mirror. Once broken, it will never be the same again…

– i.d

I don’t know if you really cared about the friendship when you confronted me about my status. Because based on your actions before this, you don’t seem to care. On the other hand, is it just a ruse for you to vent all your Anger and frustrations on me. Because I am the easy punching bag.

I could have just admitted. But why should I? And let you use me as an excuse to vent and hurt me? And why should I when you don’t ever think you’re wrong. You’re always right, and even when you’re wrong, you don’t apologise. And even when you do, there’s a vengeful underlying tone to it.