Day four 400 calories:

I ate too much. At dinner I had a pizza cause I was with my family. Shit. Tomorrow I am gonna do a liquid fast, my limit is 100. I hope this won’t ruin my weight loss

Day three 300 calories:

My net is 300 calories, I had 450 calories more but I burned them so I guess it’s okay.

Day two 500 calories

I had 100 calories more but that’s okay. I made no workout.

Day one 500 (12 August)

I had to restart the diet cause I had a big cheat day on day 4

A gentle reminder to myself to

🌸🌻🌼°°•☆°🌻🌸🌻°•°○🌼🌻°•☆🌸

STOP using FOOD as a REWARD

🌸°🌻°•🌼🌻🌸🌻°•☆•🌼🌻°•☆•°🌸

No, you do not deserve that cake/cookie/candy/cheesy greasy thing.

You DO deserve a hot bath, a new candle, a lazy day with a book or Netflix,

You deserve things that are good. You do not deserve to stuff your body with junk and call it a treat. That is not a treat. You deserve better.

Day three 300 calories

I ate 700/300 calories but I burned 400 calories by working out so I think it’s okay. Idk. Why can’t I stick to this diet? I am so disappointed. I feel embarassed, I keep eating stuff that makes me fat. I hate myself.

When I was about a year into my eating disorder, about 13 or 14, I had one of the worst experiences of my life. I was in orchestra, took so much pride in it, first chair of the viola section, looked at my director as a role model. I hadn’t eaten lunch the entire year and he knew this. He had a habit of stopping class to tell random ass stories that nobody gave a shit about. He starts telling us about a woman he used to work with, her name, how old she was and so on. 

And then he started describing her eating disorder. 

She was bulimic, and every single day, she’d go into the bathroom and throw up whatever it was that she ate that day, She was so skinny, he said he tail bone was starting to pop out of her skin (I doubt any credibility behind that). he started talking about how he heard her once, in the bathroom, and how disgusting it was. He apparently confronted her about it soon after, and she stopped showing up to work. 

Despite her not showing up to work anymore, he continued this horrible speech. 

This wasn’t a self-love speech.

He started saying how disgusting and weird it was. Talking about “you girls care so much about your appearance, you’d actually do something this disgusting and weird?” 

Me, having anxiety and panic attacks, i started crying in front of the entire class, and all I could hear was the class talking about what an ugly freak she must have been. How weird it was. How if they ever saw her, they’d force her to eat something. The director noticed how shaken up I was, but didn’t stop. I managed to ask him if we could please stop talking about this, quiet enough to where nobody else heard, and he said yes. We stopped, and continued on with class like it was nothing. 

Every single day, I’d get a salad, with just tomatoes and lettuce, and I’d throw it away every day. My class started noticing and started saying stuff like “What are you, a fucking anorexic?” and of course it was followed by a “ Of course not, look at her”. and so on and so forth. I had two suicide attempts later that year, both by pills, both didn’t work, both nobody knew about. 

Please stop mocking eating disorders. Please. 

Please stand up and say something if you hear someone mocking eating disorders. 

Day two 500 calories

I ate 500 calories more than my limit. I feel so upset. In the morning i did the Alexis ren’s abs workout. I will do better tomorrow.

reblog if you are an active ed blog as of august 7th 2019 please

i feel like there arent very many people left on here

Day two measurements

9 August 2019

Waist: 82

Right leg: 67

Left leg: 67

Belly:92

Hips:107/108

Weight: 75 kg

Day one 500 calories

503/500 calories

I did 20 minutes of this workout and some abs, idk how many calories I burned.

It was kinda hard today but I did it and I am proud. I didn’t weight myself, I was too scared. Maybe I am gonna do it tomorrow.

I am trying to do a Keto diet and I stayed under 50 g of carbs. Tomorrow I will try to stay under 20 g of carbs.

I started the abc diet. I will update every day to motivate me. Wish me luck.

I am so fat. Why?!?!?

Okay this is my story I guess idk.

A year ago I weighted like 75 kg so my mum took me to a nutritionist cause I was fat (yeah pretty annoying) and she gave me a diet that I didn’t follow. So in january 2018 I started losing weight on a diet that I invented (I didn’t eat carbs and dairies). Then I started losing weight and I discovered calories. I lost 15 kg in idk, 3 months? Idk. I developed an Ed (bulimia, anorexia and binge eating). I maintained my 60 kg since November, then I started gaining weight and now I weight 75 kg again. And I feel so bad. Like really bad. I hate myself. Well, I decided to lose all this shit again because, let’s say it, I am disgusting.

Height: 164 cm

Hw: 75 kg

Lw: 57 kg

Cw: 74/75 kg

Ugw: 58 kg

August goal: 65 kg

I hope I will reach 60 kg by September 10.

Btw i live in Italy so that’s why my English is this bad. Peace.