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creativside · 1 day

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something you said has been on my mind for a while - "kink is not inherently sexual". good faith! I don't understand that at all, could you explain it a bit?

This post is educational, hooray! Extensive discussion of kink under the cut. Nothing explicitly sexual is described in detail.

Please note that in this post, I use the terms top and Dom/me interchangeably. This is because I personally identify as a "top" and not a Dom. Some communities draw sharp lines between these two terms, and it's useful to make sure that you're using the same definition as other people when you're talking. Some people use "top" solely to refer to the giving or penetrative partner, which is not synonymous with the dominant partner. Topping subs, power bottoms, and all other permutations exist. I just use that term for myself because I don't like being called a Dom. It sounds like a guy's name to me, I don't like it.

When I text my wife in every morning, "Please bring me my coffee," and she answers, "Yes, Sir!" is that sexual? I'm surely not feeling sexual when I'm barely awake. When I hold my other wife's hand when she's having a depressive fit and tell her, "Daddy's got you, it's okay," that's kink, but it's not sexual. In that moment, neither of us feel particularly sexy, and we're surely not engaging in sex, but it's kink that - forgive the pun - binds us more strongly together.

One of my girls wears a 24/7 collar that I locked in place. (She can ask me at any point to take it off, or she can take it off herself if she wants to, but she chooses this.) That's kink. It's also... a necklace. That's not any more inherently sexual than her wedding ring, though it - for us - certainly symbolizes part of our relationship that happens to sometimes include sex, exactly the same as a wedding ring.

There are a lot of types of kink that don't include sexual contact in any way or which might include sexual contact but don't need to. One of my friends is a sex-repulsed ace bootblack. They literally take care of the boots of tops, usually at play parties. For them, this act of service and submission allows them to go into a particular headspace that's very fulfilling for them. They are explicitly serving the people whose boots they clean and polish. The Dom/mes receive that service and not only get really great-looking boots out of the deal but also get the feeling of power from having someone eager to take care of them and serve them. For some of us, that kind of service allows us access to a feeling of power that can be hard to access in our daily life, and that feels really good.

Sometimes, it can feel good in a sexy way, and sometimes it feels good in a "makes lizard brain feel powerful but not sexy" way. Neither one is inherently better or worse or more or less kinky than the other.

Sometimes, people who like being whipped like it because the line between pain and pleasure is like a wave on the ocean, and they want to surf it. Sometimes, that involves mashing squishy bits together, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, it's just about riding that endorphin wave and then having someone take care of you afterwards.

Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots and fucked. Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots because that process requires a lot of trust and is an intimate ritual that takes a lot of time. Sometimes, it's both. Sometimes, people want to tie up others because it's a beautiful work of art, because that ritual of binding is a ritual and accesses something sacred for them. Sometimes, they want to be tied up because it's playtime, and that's fun for them! Sometimes, they want to be tied up because when they're tied up, they are 0% in control, and they want to just surrender control to someone whom they can trust.

Some people want to go into sub space - that headspace I talked about earlier - because in their everyday life, they have a lot of responsibilities and stress, and going into that space where nobody can ask anything from them, where they have no responsibility to make any decisions at all, is a relief to them. That might involve squishy bits, or it might not. Some people like going into that sub space because being someone's Good Boy, Sweet Girl, or Good Pup is gender-affirming for them. A friend of mine only feels really safe when he's got his pup hood on, because that means he's With Master, who will protect him.

Some people get gender affirmation out of being in control, being someone's Daddy or Mistress, Sir or Boss. It allows them to access a power that helps them to square their shoulders and take on the world.

All of this entirely skips over the fact that a person's primary sexual organ is between their ears, and some people do get sexual fulfillment out of kink even when no genitalia are involved at all, but I cannot stress enough that the reasons that people enter into the multitude of kink situations in the world are as varied as the people involved. People gain access to comfort, to feelings of stability and order and control over their lives, to gender affirmation, to endorphins that are or aren't sexual in nature, to release from responsibility, to ritual and intimacy, to the ability to provide for others and take care of others in a way that their outside lives may or may not permit. For that matter, they may simply gain access to a paycheck, and that's fine, too. That's no more or less "selling your body" than when I used to run my ass off for 13+ hours a day at my retail job, and I guarantee they're making way, way better money.

The fact that so many people see kink as only and purely sexual means they're missing out on so much of what kink can offer, and narrowing down the experiences of others to this tiny little sliver of what actually exists. Yes, it can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. The reasons that people engage in kink are as varied as the reasons that people engage in any other kind of interaction, and the fulfillment they get from it is as varied, too.

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creativside · 5 days

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Psychosis and schizo spec experiences are messy, and complicated, and often don't fit the societal narratives.

Many psychotic people have experiences that look like symtoms of other disorders, and strict categorization and separation between symptoms and disorders often don't take schizospec and psychotic people's experiences into account.

Schizophrenia, as an example, is commonly classified as a neurodevelopmental illness, and comes with a range of experiences of neurodivergency that do not neatly fit into any one box/neurotype, yet can be both very disabling and very profound. Similarly, most schizospec people are prone to dissociation, and there's an overlap between plural people and psychotic communities.

For this reason and others, I'm not a fan of separatism in the neurodivergent community, which too often targets psychotics, by focusing on proving that this or that group is not "crazy" like "those people".

Occasionally this takes on some insidious forms within the different communities, where "deviant experiences" of odd symtoms that don't align neatly with the narrative of the associated disorder, are dismissed as fake, problematic, harmful - occasionally as ableist in and of themselves. This narrative is actively harmful to psychotic people.

I'm not a fan of arguments that hinge on the notion that large numbers of people are lying or mistaken about their lived experience, and sincerely, as someone who has read an unreasonable amount of research throughout my studies, psychological science is interesting, and useful, but it is never exact, and it is full of biases, blind spots and bullshit science hidden behind statistics and overreaching conclusions. Pointing out bad research is not "anti science", it is in fact pro science. I am a scientist.

I consciously reject the notion that the diagnostic manuals are anything more than a semi competent attempt at making a comprehensive classification of symptoms. This doesn't mean that these constructs aren't hugely influential, or that they don't describe real symtoms, but it is important for Mad and Neurodivergent activism to move beyond this reductive understanding of mental diversity.

So while I'm happy to provide info on the definitions of various disorders etc, because it has real world applications, I am more interested in what we all have in common, and in finding solidarity across diagnostic borders.

In the end, my solidarity is with the weird kids. The quiet ones, the fucked up ones, the ones who don't feel like they belong or fit anywhere. With symtoms and experiences and diagnoses like an ill-fitting set of clothes.

I want to fight the stigma, but I don't want to fight it by assimilation. It is not our job to be "normal" or "easy to understand and categorize".

I want radical inclusiveness, and I want it now. I want the judgement of harmless odd behaviours to stop, I want the mental health communities to stop fighting each other and throwing each other under the bus in the name of being palatable.

We don't have to be palatable to be worthy. We don't have to fit into a neat little box to be taken seriously. We are all deserving of non-judgemental love and support.

Our goal should not be to be neurotypical, it should be to live happy and fulfilling lives within the circumstances we were dealt.

Us psychotic weirdos need better options than to be monsters, or to be invisible.

#neurodivergence

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creativside · 10 days

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#queer

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creativside · 16 days

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People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.

For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.

The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.

So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.

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creativside · 16 days

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Some Shippers: Don't worry, I'm into Dark and Twisted FicTM but I'm not a Bad FanTM, oh no, not me, not a sicko like some people but if you can't handle my Dark and Twisted FicTM that is okay :)

Me: A real life kinkster who joined Disney fan groups on Fetlife to find a volunteer Disney World season pass holder who would be willing to go into Galaxy's Edge to pick up an honest to goddess dog collar that says "Padawan Pet Academy" on it, so I can put it on my submissive, with whom I have an eroticized Caregiving/receiving relationship with Master/Padawan flavor. Not only did I have no less than four volunteers in 24 hours, but the fellow Caregiving Dom who I coordinated with sent me photos every step of the way (receipts for collar and shipping, the back of the packaging so I could see it was the right size) and didn't give me his payment info until everything was sent so I'd feel secure about the money. Now my babygirl/Padawan's collar will be here in more than plenty of time to gift her for May the Fourth.

RIP to other fangirls but I'm different.

#seriously though #I have seen this in more than one ship fandom #it is exhausting #the antis hate us all

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creativside · 17 days

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Plo: whoops, how clumsy of me I have dropped some inappropriate (wink) literature in the workplace, but zounds! I am needed in the next room. I hope no one accidentally picks it up and reads it! (Hurries off leaving suspicious pamphlet on the ground)

Fox: is your General trying to sneak you porn? (Takes nonplussed sip of caf)

Wolffe: no he's trying to get us to unionize.

Fox: (spits out caf)

#plo koon

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creativside · 17 days

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That time Matt had to "How do I want to do this?" himself

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creativside · 17 days

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Shipping fictional characters isn’t representative of your moral values. It’s representative of your particular psychic damage and the themes and motifs that haunt you. Hope this helps.

#shipping

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creativside · 18 days

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Eclipse

#solar eclipse 2024 #egyptian mythology

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creativside · 18 days

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When it was really deep in the clouds I managed to get a picture with the settings I usually use for the moon!

#pennsylvania #solar eclipse #april 2024 #solar eclipse 2024 #8th of april 2024

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creativside · 19 days

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i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

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creativside · 1 month

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I got the wonderful opportunity to see Labyrinth on the big screen last week (thank you Fathom Events) and I think this time around really helped me nail down one of the things that makes this movie so special to me: the ending message.

A story with a somewhat childish sixteen-year-old girl who immerses herself in magic and fantasy worlds who goes through a journey and a transformation and comes out the other side more mature could very easily have ended with the message of "Now that the adventure in the fantasy world is over, our heroine has grown and matured enough to leave magic and fantasy behind and become an Adult."

But Labyrinth doesn't do that.

Labyrinth says: "You might grow up a little. You might put away your costumes and your music box and your crown. You might give your teddy bear to your little brother. But that doesn't mean you have to leave it all behind. Every so often in your life, for no reason at all, you might need a little magic back in your life. And your friends in the fantasy world will always be there for you."

"Should you need them."

#labyrinth

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creativside · 1 month

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Ventress was last seen being placed in a magic lake on her home planet which has deep connections to the spiritual plane.

In this lake was also the body of a creature, killed by Quinlan Vos.

Parts of this creatures body are used to create the water of life - for Nightsister magic - and it's *whole. body.* is in the lake with Ventress.

We obviously don't have details, but between that and the fact Mother Talzin had to be killed about three times before it stuck, in my opinion seeds have been sown for something mystical to have occurred in that lake which allowed her to revive.

oh... so they really brought back Ventress huh?

I know people will say it makes sense because of 'nightsister magicks' but in the first place, the Force should not be able to grant eternal life?

Obi-Wan and Yoda didn't really continue their lives in the mortal plane of existence, and Palpatine... somehow returned (which is still stupid even if it was in the EU too), but even then there were some caveats to that considering he was basically a breathing corpse shackled to a chair. So far as we've seen when nightsister magicks resurrect the dead, it turns them into shambling zombies... And Ventress is absolutely not that.

#star wars #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #asajj ventress #star wars critical #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #why does this fandom hate magic so much in a multimedia epic largely featuring characters with magical powers

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creativside · 1 month

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She has this exact hairstyle in some of her flashbacks in Clone Wars Season 3 episode 12, in the unfinished reels and on the cover of Dark Disciple which came out fully nine (9) years ago.

AND this shot was in the first trailer in January so like....this is not news as of this episode?

She isn't "supposed to be" bald, it's just been her most common hairstyle.

why does ventress have hair im so fucking scared right now shes supposed to be bald

#star wars #tbb #the bad batch #asajj ventress #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #star wars the bad batch

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creativside · 1 month

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WE ARE MANIFESTING VENTRESS TOMORROW LIKES CHARGE REBLOGS CAST LETS GOOOOOOO 💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫

#bad batch #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #ventress #asajj ventress #star wars

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creativside · 1 month

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Intends this woman was DTF Palpatine, and wanted her son to be his heir. It's murky, she was definitely a victim first and a competitor in the Imperial game of thrones second, but still. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Roganda_Ismaren/Legends

Also Sly Moore, the Umbaran woman we see following Palpatine around in RotS, was his lover.

Also also you can get people's DNA from their hair, blood, skin cells. Palpatine would have had ample access to the latter two after Vader's..."medical care" that put him into the suit.

confession - rian johnson should add dathan's mother and sabe as material grandma to rey

Does Dathan even have a mother? Who would be DTF with Sheev?

...asides from Anakin, Anakin has Daddy Issues.

Another vote for Miramir being Sabe's daughter!

#star wars #sheev palpatine #emperor palpatine #anakin skywalker #sly moore #roganda ismaren

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creativside · 1 month

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I got to hold a 500,000 year old hand axe at the museum today.

It's right-handed

I am right-handed

There are grooves for the thumb and knuckle to grip that fit my hand perfectly

I have calluses there from holding my stylus and pencils and the gardening tools.

There are sharper and blunter parts of the edge, for different types of cutting, as well as a point for piercing.

I know exactly how to use this to butcher a carcass.

A homo erectus made it

Some ancestor of mine, three species ago, made a tool that fits my hand perfectly, and that I still know how to use.

Who were you

A man? A woman? Did you even use those words?

Did you craft alone or were you with friends? Did you sing while you worked?

Did you find this stone yourself, or did you trade for it? Was it a gift?

Did you make it for yourself, or someone else, or does the distinction of personal property not really apply here?

Who were you?

What would you think today, seeing your descendant hold your tool and sob because it fits her hands as well?

What about your other descendant, the docent and caretaker of your tool, holding her hands under it the way you hold your hands under your baby's head when a stranger holds them.

Is it bizarre to you, that your most utilitarian object is now revered as holy?

Or has it always been divine?

Or is the divine in how I am watching videos on how to knap stone made by your other descendants, learning by example the way you did?

Tomorrow morning I am going to the local riverbed in search of the appropriate stones, and I will follow your example.

The first blood spilled on it will almost certainly be my own, as I learn the textures and rhythm of how it's done.

Did you have cuss words back then? Gods to blaspheme when the rock slips and you almost take your thumbnail off instead? Or did you just scream?

I'm not religious.

But if spilling my own blood to connect with a stranger who shared it isn't partaking in the divine

I don't know what is.

#divine #history

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