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cqthqrtic · 7 months
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cw: yandere fyodor, manipulation, imprisonment
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fyodor doesn't have to try very hard to keep you by his side.
it's not that you don't try. you try your best despite how the repurcussions are never worth the momemtary illusion of freedom. you get so desperate that you cling on to any shred of hope you can find, to the point where logic and sense is tossed aside and you pull through with nothing but the pure, reckless determination of a person teteering on the edge of madness.
but you're strangely meticulous with your attempts. you study everything and anything to find a way to leave, though you should have long rationalized with yourself that there was no point tapping at floorboards and taking apart clocks. you spend hours studying locks to fashion the perfect pick. you study him, committing to memory his routine, his habits. how he tends to bite at his nails, how he never checks to see if a door is locked after leaving.
how he never looks angry when you come crawling back.
at most, he looks disappointed. the first time you walked back in, he was almost done with his dinner. he spared the clock one glance, put down his spoon and only said that he expected you to last longer.
out of spite, the next time you force yourself to never return, despite how horrible it was. you hid out in defiance, hungry, tired and hopeless, until he found you. it was drizzling weakly, and it was the fourth day. he shook his head and lifted you up by an arm, guiding you back.
the problem, fyodor finds, is that you simply underestimate him. you do not consider his connections, and the abilities they possess. there is no one who will be looking for you, no evidenve of you existing once he wipes it clean. there is nobody who remembers.
nobody who cares.
and that is why you always come back.
you're not frightened by ability users and bullets, not after meeting him. you're not bothered by the cold or your hunger. you force yourself to adapt. he knows you have a strong will, and it burns fiercer than any bodily pain or discomfort.
but the one thing that shatters your resolution and your hopes is solitude.
fyodor smiles at you despite how you bite, and his touch is always tender. fyodor looks at you when he says your name, asks about your thoughts on the music playing and the films you watch. he kisses your mouth and your fingers, and he strokes your hair. you study him so carefully that you can't avoid the feel of his skin against yours, and just how much of him revolves around you—speaking to you, holding you, just being with you.
when you leave the quiet of his house for the loud, uncaring outside, you find that nobody else tries to do the same. there is no lingering glance, no registering of your presence more than a quick look. there are no teasing smiles or light touches. there are no questions posed and no words listened to.
you are nobody if you are not fyodor's.
it is this truth that chains you down to his side, unable to stray very far.
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cqthqrtic · 7 months
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let’s pray i have the time and energy to pump out a fic this month
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cqthqrtic · 7 months
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The thing about Dazai is that he's cruel when he wants to be.
You know this—you've known this even before he admitted in his long-winded way that he's an ex-mafia member. He has a clever tongue, knows how to use it to his advantage when it comes to swooning women or interrogating suspects. He's multifaceted in that regard.
You've only really seen a glimpse or two of his mean streak, a vague memory of when you were ushered out of the Agency infirmary while Dazai was left alone with Kouyou Ozaki that one time. It's best not to think about it, you tell yourself, but all you can think about right now is that you really, really wish he could be that mean right now.
It slipped out somehow—in your rambling, you didn't even notice when you'd stupidly admitting your more-than-cordial-platonic-coworker feelings for him. But you did, and these are the consequences, just not the ones you were expecting.
Fingers twitching, joints tight and stiff in the cold, you look up at Dazai's blank eyes and the flat line of his lips. Stupid. You feel so utterly stupid, and you're waiting here for his response and yet there's none to be given.
What makes it worse is that his eyes are soft. He's not poking fun at you or rolling his eyes or brushing this off. You really, really wish he would, you wish he'd make a joke out of this and humiliate you, you wish he'd run to Kunikida and laugh about it with him and group you in with all the other people he's swooned before, but he just stands there. There's pity in his eyes, or maybe something like careful consideration as he chooses his next words.
"You..." and a thoughtful hum escapes him before he goes quiet again. You hate this. You hate every second of it and you just want him to laugh at your stupid feelings and leave you in the dust so you could cry alone and not in front of him. A burning feeling pricks the backs of your eyes and you're going to die right in front of him, because that'd be much better than dealing with this awful, awful silence.
"I don't think you really mean that."
And you hate him. You hate Dazai, because of course he'd say something like that. In all his self-loathing, he wouldn't think for a minute that you know what you're talking about—that you mean it. You hate him. This is crueler than anything else he could've done.
"I do, Dazai," and your voice is strained, and choked, and your face is hot with embarrassment because this is stupid and ridiculous and just supposed to be a workplace crush gone out of hand. "Just shut up. I do." And when he opens his mouth again to protest, you shake your head and roll your eyes and try not to make this whole thing more dramatic than it's already gotten.
"Whatever. I mean— whatever. I didn't say any of that. I didn't mean it like that. Can you forget it, please, and don't tell anyone, this is awful, Dazai, you're awful, you know."
"I know. I'm sorry."
In your years of working here, you've never heard Dazai Osamu say sorry, not like this. Not with gentle eyes and a hesitant breath. This is ridiculous. You're going to kill him.
"I wouldn't tell anyone," he keeps talking, he keeps talking and you're going to kill him, "That's cruel. I'm sorry."
Cruel. You want to laugh. He would know a lot about that.
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cqthqrtic · 7 months
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thank you tuna !!
1) queencard by (g)-idle
2) beat it by michael jackson
3) mystery of love by sufjan stevens
4) colouring by loossemble
5) typa girl by blackpink
not gonna tag anyone so if anybody wants to do this, feel free to rb !!
Thank you for the tag @keeganisabluegreener ❤️❤️
Five songs I've been listening a lot to:
1. End of the day by One Direction
2. Just like heaven by The Cure
3. She is beauty we are world class by Louis Tomlinson
4. Silver tongues by Louis Tomlinson
5. With or without you by U2
Tagging @niallermybabe @28goldens @stephron @ashleyyroses
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cqthqrtic · 7 months
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it’s been a month, i’m so sorry🧍🏻‍♀️
closing requests !! i’ll do my best to finish the rest of the requests in my inbox soon.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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closing requests !! i’ll do my best to finish the rest of the requests in my inbox soon.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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YANDERE DAZAI VAMPIRE DARLING CHEERING CHEERING . i'm just like dazai that's soo romantic
vamp!darling who just cries afterwards bc they're so against it morally while dazai just tries to explain that this is a good thing! it'll bring you two closer, it's bonding! but darling is just so heartbroken 
tries to feed on animals again to retain some semblance of control but it's all nasty now. did it always taste this... rotten? ends up undernourished and paler than usual, irritable.... and dazai loves it. he wants his darling to be happy of course, but seeing them soo upset just because they haven't had his blood? 🥰🥰 he's giggling blushing kicking his feetsies i just KNOW it.
finally darling comes to him, tail between their legs to ask for just a drop, really just a drop, and then they'll go back to the prepackaged stuff, the stray roadkill or a wandering deer, promise! and dazai, flattered as ever, agrees... and now there's no going back for poor vamp!darling :(((
okay sorry i LOVE your work it always gets my mind racing with ideas you're so . ❤️ gn
!!!!! no u r so <333!!+<!!!!33333
cw: blood, manipulation, yandere character
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you have no idea that all of this was planned—quickly believing dazai when he claims that it was all a huge mistake! that he was planning on using his blood for donating (you don't even stop to question how stupid that excuse is) and he didn't mean to leave it lying around and now you're going to hate him and—
it takes you a while to placate him after which he has other thoughts on the matter. you've forgiven him, but was there really anything to forgive? he was certain that this was everything you were supposed to do, and that drinking from hin deepened your bond with him. why would you hate such an intimate act, and why would you think it to be wrong?
you don't listen, of course, stubborn as you always are, trying to keep yourself occupied with other things and strictly drinking from animals again. you even refuse to see him until you're certain that you're full, but nothing truly stops the mindnumbing craving you've acquired for dazai. and honestly, he's thrilled that you ache for him as much as he does, but it was starting to get a little painful, how you turned away from him.
he sees you suffer in your yearning, and he can't help but think that everything would be alright if you just let yourself do as you like, and as he wants.
and then you come crawling to him yourself.
he has to bite back his smile, forcing himself to look as sombre as you did in the moment. he listens quietly as you tell him how horrible you feel and how unfair this is on him (it takes everything in him to not explode in protests and reassure you that this is all he could want from you, but he has an act to uphold)
and when you admit that you can't stop the hunger for him, eyes glued to the floor in shame, dazai thinks he might grab you and kiss you senseless, if he could. but he stays silent and nods as though it made perfect sense to him (which, of course, it did.) and he pretends to think it over when you ask him if he'd mind letting you feed from him just once more. you look so relieved when he agrees, eyes brightened and a soft smile on your face, and it infuriates him that you'd always look so happy if you just stopped being so paranoid. but some progress was better than nothing, he thinks, tucking his face into the crook of your neck, and soon, he's sure he could convince you.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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e and h for chuuya! thank you soso much again :^^
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warnings: none.
a/n: i struggled sm w the second one omg…
yandere alphabet prompt.
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Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
Chuuya’s a very guarded individual already but when he’s in a state of paranoia surrounding your safety? Yeah, he’s not gonna tell you a thing about his day at work. He definitely keeps his distance with you and only shows you certain parts of his softer side, but only out of indulgence really. He’d never be truly vulnerable.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
Chuuya is a very reasonable and tactful person, even if he is depicted as easily annoyed. So I think generally, every interaction he has with you is somewhat intentional and calm; Although internally, he’s a paranoid mess in all matters concerning you. However, in the case where he loses his control over you and you’re taken away or even worse, hurt? Something in him snaps and that rationality dissolves. Violence is something Chuuya understands like a science and mastered like an art form. When he finally catches wind of your location, you will find him at the center of all the blood and carnage with not a single speck of remorse on his face.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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i’ll post the rest of the asks soon !! i’ve been rly overwhelmed w my family life and work recently but i’m hoping to get them done quickly and asap.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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Stereotypical vampire darling but they refuse to drink from humans and mostly drinks from animals like bunnies and birds lmao
cw: blood, feeding on animals and people, yandere themes, deception, drugging with blood??
thank you to domi (@.cqthqrtic) for talking to me abt human dazai w a vampire s/o!! this was inspired by the conversation we had hehe
!!! vampire darling w human dazai who's just desperate for them to feed on him. please take his blood. please...it's all he wants. he's kind of addicted to the feeling but more than that he loves the idea of having his blood in you, of you having to drink his blood to stay alive. how romantic! he's literally part of you and within you.
he's devastated when you tell him that you don't feed on people, and stares enviously at your prey instead. he just knows that he'd taste better, and if you'd just stop being so stubborn and have one try, you'd never go back.
but you were far more patient than him, and far more resolute in your decisions.
you're still sweet to him, of course, kissing him and holding him and telling him you love him—but you're firm on not feeding, and dazai aches for that final connection. he tells you that he wants it, that it wouldn't hurt (and even if it did, he'd like it) and he'd wear your marks proudly, but nothing convinces you. the moment he brings it up, you shoot him a tired look and repeat the same excuses again.
if his words weren't enough to convince you, maybe he should just give you a taste of what you're missing.
there are days, when the weather is too cold, that you drink off pre-filled bags instead. during one of your long trips away, dazai, with a lot of careful planning and shaky excecution, replaces a bag with his blood instead. it was a process done over time, since he didn't want to risk loosing too much in one go, and there were too many potential obstacles—you could differenciate human and animal blood just from scent alone, for one, or you could stop drinking once you had a single drop—but it was his beat shot.
lucky him, then, that you came home famished and too exhausted to check. by the time you had finished the bag, you were staring at him with a disturbed expression, but dazai knew it was too late.
you would never forget the taste.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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q and z for dazai omg
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warnings: manipulation, loss of control and autonomy.
yandere alphabet prompt.
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Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
Already done.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
In a way, yes. Dazai doesn’t really like being direct with his control over you. He’d rather you be under the illusion that everything you do is of your own volition, so he’s very subtle and slow with gaining control over you. Somewhere down the line, you’ll be completely his with no room for questioning, no ability to exist without him. And when that day comes, Dazai will know he’s won.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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m and q for dazai please!
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warnings: manipulation, codependency.
yandere alphabet prompt.
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Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
Yes. Dazai is a lot more somber when he’s alone. Around the general public, he acts like a menace to society. Around his coworkers, he acts like a clown. Around you, he’s loving and sort of clingy. But alone, he’s able to allow the worst of himself to surface. He feels more comfortable indulging in his worst thoughts, in allowing his face to make whatever expression he wants, in completely being himself without restraint. Ideally, Dazai would like to show this side of him to you but that would be something he’s hoping for in the far future. He would need you to be completely under his thumb with no room for thoughts of going against him. When he’s all alone in his room, Dazai often thinks of what kind of faces you’d make if he voiced his real thoughts about you.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
With his darling dying, the probability of Dazai moving on is 50/50. He might move on, he might just join you and kill himself. Who knows! However if you left, no way in hell is he moving on. He’s getting you back in his arms safe and sound immediately. Dazai isn’t really a kidnapper, even in the port mafia, because he knows that he can foster extreme codependency in you so you’ll never leave him. But in the case where you do, he’s perfectly willing to help you remember how things are supposed to be. You’re supposed to be all his in your mind, body, and soul with no room for betrayal or questions. Dazai has his ways of helping you remember that.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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here’s a dazai wip that’s been collecting dust in my notes app for months lol. one day i will fix it up and post it.
You look back at his clothes, listening to the clanging and banging of the laundry machines, thinking to yourself that it sounds like a heartbeat.
i’ll leave the tag open! feel free to do it if u want !!
Last Line Tag
tagged by the lovely @thiamsxbitch 😘
RULES—share the last line you wrote for your WIP, and then tag as many people as there are words.
MK placed too much responsibility on himself already, how would he react if he knew his mentor, the great Monkey King, signed off for his immortality to end after MK’s passing?
hehe :3 would you believe if I told you that this wip was supposed to be fluffy?
tagging (with no added pressure dw <3): @sourdough-morbread @bellamyblakru @ghoultaffy @shana-rosee and anybody else bearing witness to this post and feels inclined to play!
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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hi again!! g and i for mori if that's alright ^-^
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warnings: loss of autonomy, manipulation.
yandere alphabet prompt.
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Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
Mori gets a thrill from someone who's mean to him so I think he'd quite enjoy the process of seeing you plan an escape only for him to catch you last minute right when you were just about to slip out of his grasp. He’ll let you have a win with certain things so he doesn’t kill your spirit. Mori overall enjoys the process of obtaining you and will drag it out as long as possible. He finds the thrill of it all enticing. He likes to play the submissive one in the relationship while being the one in control behind the curtains. So to answer the question, yes it very much is a game to Mori, and it’s a game he intends to win.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
A controlled fantasy. Mori wants a domestic lifestyle he can keep all to himself that’s under his total control. Even in the moments where he may seem vulnerable or under your thumb, it’s only because he wills it.
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cqthqrtic · 9 months
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ooohh could i have a and e for ranpo?
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warnings: physical abuse, disrespect of boundaries.
yan alphabet prompt.
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Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
Ranpo is very touchy, but in the way a clingy cat is almost. He hugs you as if he's trying to break your ribs and fuse your flesh to his. He can and will lay on top of you for hours so that you won't get up and leave him. I can see it going into a slightly violent territory where he'd bite you a little too hard, squeeze your wrist to the point of bruising, etc. Ranpo also does not give a single fuck about your feelings and boundaries so he'll rarely apologize. If he hurts, he'll just let you patch yourself up when he's bored and then do it again all over again. Ranpo prioritizes his appetite over your comfort.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
I think Ranpo is willing to let you see the "cuter" or more acceptable parts of his vulnerability but the really scary and important stuff, he reserves for himself alone. He doesn't want you to see too much of his weaknesses or else you might exploit it. Or worse, you could lose any respect you still have for him.
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cqthqrtic · 10 months
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c and g for fyodor if thats okay!!
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warnings: implied violence, controlling behavior, abuse.
a/n: i’m sorry for taking so long, i kind of struggled w G for some reason😭😭
yan alphabet prompt.
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Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
Fyodor’s takes on the carrot and stick philosophy. Good behaviors are rewarded while unpleasant ones are swiftly and mercilessly punished. He definitely mocks you when he has to punish you, making small but impactful jabs at your own failures and insecurities. Fyodor wants to break down any confidence and self assurance you have so that you can only rely on him for those things. He doesn’t need you to think you can live without him. Fyodor is very cruel and strives to become somebody who you revolve your entire life around. Even if he’s not there, he wants you to feel like he’s just behind you, waiting for you to mess up so he can bring down the hammer.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
Kind of? Fyodor certainly indulges himself by letting you have small victories only to swipe it all away and snatch you up. He enjoys crushing any hope you have while also treating it as a good way to condition you into understanding that no matter how smart you think you are, he is smarter and will beat you in any game of chase you want to initiate.
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cqthqrtic · 10 months
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because tumblr is bad at math: if you’re 20 and have been in fandom for 2 years that’s (2/20)•100=%
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