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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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God Character Sheet

Name: God, Sapphire Stolas

Nickname: God, Saph, Your Majesty

Species: God/ Angel

Age (estimate) or status: Immortal, Oldest being in the universe. Looks about 27 in human years.

Gender: Female

Occupation: Ruler of The Heavens

Where they live: Heaven’s Palace

General personality (like a short description): Very loving ruler. She always knows what to do and say and when to do so. Tries very hard to keep the peace going between the Mythicals and Lucifer. Constantly on her toes trying to keep Lucifer in line. Usually very sweet and peaceful, but can get a very stern side to her (mostly with Lucifer).

Fears: something happening to her children, Lucifer starting a war with someone

Habits: fixing Lucifer’s messes, spending time with family, problem solving

Negative traits: too forgiving, sometimes a little naïve, overbearing, controlling

Positive traits: Powerful, outgoing, a great ruler, Brave, very loving

Backstory: God used to rule both Heaven and Hell until one day her top angel Lucifer tried to take over. As punishment, God cast Lucifer and her followers down to Hell. They were on very bad terms for many years. They are now the best of friends and enjoy each other’s company a lot. God is constantly fixing Lucifer’s fights with the Mythicals. God has threatened to take Hell away numerous times and that usually puts Luci in her place for a while. God broke her no angel and demon rule and married Ferdinand Stolas. He is Hell’s Prime Minister. After Ferdinand was turned to stone by Medusa in the Great War, she found out she was pregnant with her son Fernando. Years later, Luci kidnapped a child named Andre for God (since she wanted another child). God was not happy but kept Andre anyways. She always has shared custody (with Luci) of Roberto, who she loves. Recently, Ferdinand has started coming back from being a statue and they have a young daughter named Thalia. God also has her first illegitimate son Jesus who we don’t like to speak about. They are not on good terms he is a party boy on earth and takes no responsibility.

Quote: ”Lucifer, quit being mean to Jerry.”

Relationships:

Lucifer: They are close friends. They are often in each other’s company. God is always always keeping her in line.

Ferdinand: Husband, loves and respects his motivation for wanting peace everywhere and with everyone.

Jerry: best friend, loves dearly. Protects him from Lucifer as best as she can. Loves how dedicated he his to his job

Jim: thinks he’s a great worker, thinks he slacks too much and and parties a lot.

Rick: loves sending him to torment Lucifer. Respects how dedicated he is to taxes

Linda: wishes she would quit listening to Craig’s shitty band and do her job

Fernando: rebellious son, wishes he would be nicer to Roberto. He’s only rebellious around Alejandro they bring out the worst in each other. Him and God have a great relationship

Alejandro: very rebellious. Wishes he would be nicer to Roberto, almost like Fernando’s twin they were born around the same time they are inseparable, he’s a bad influence.

Roberto: Thinks he’s very smart and bright, tries to protect him form Lucifer and the “twins” as much as she can. He spends most of his time in Heaven with God. They have a very good mother son relationship.

Andre: Her son. Thinks very highly of his thief skill, wishes he would stop livestreaming her palace for the whole world to see.

Thailia: Her daughter. She’s only about 2 years old

JellyNugget: Her prostitute daughter she rescued off the streets, god yells at her often for trying to fuck Alejandro.

Dracula: Not pleased with after the stunt he pulled on Lucifer and Hell

Emil: Much respect for keeping Luci in line... Most of the time

Lance: Still not on the best terms after he snuck around and got with an angel and broke the rules. Thinks he’s a good worker though.

Alfred: Thinks he slacks too much

Craig: Tired of hearing about his band

Gina: Loves dearly for trying to find a cure for Ferdinand, much respect for her.

Dr. Pepper: Respects for putting up with Lucifer’s antics. She usually has to beg him to go to Hell if needed for medical

Dr. Lemon(Therapist): Very grateful for his help with Jerry. He really helps him with his fears of Master Lucifer

Ringo: Respects him a lot thinks he’s a great ruler. Wishes he would stop being a party boy with Jim

Spike: Has the utter most respect for him leading the thorns. Thinks he’s one of the bravest angels.

Jesus: Not on good terms. Tired of him being a party boy on earth and dying for people over and over again.

Jingles: Hates with everything in her. He is the reason Ferdinand spends his time as a statue.

Santa: Wishes he could keep Jingles in line.

Angel Zee, Demon Joe: can’t stand them keep mopping her throne room and office 24/7

#character sheet

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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Angel Zee Character Sheet

Name: Angel Zee

Nickname: Zee, Idiot

Species: Angel

Age (estimate) or status: around 34 in human years

Gender: Male

Occupation: Janitor in Heaven

Where they live: in the basement of the palace in Heaven

General personality (like a short description): He used to be a normal amazing janitor. Now all he does is go around Heaven and Hell with his best friend Demon Joe mopping everyone’s things. He isn’t the brightest angel in Heaven. All he thinks about is mopping.

Fears: getting his mop taken away, Mopina leaving him

Habits: mopping, mopping, mopping

Negative traits: annoying, talks too much, stupid

Positive traits: dedicated, very friendly, very energetic

Backstory: Angel Zee used to be a normal janitor at the palace. He was the best in the palace, always got the work done the fastest. All was normal until one day Alejandro let a demon janitor into Heaven and he found Angel Zee. Angel Zee and Demon Joe got into a huge competition about who could mop the best. During their completion, Alejandro and Fernando sent the Nannybot out to get them. With all the water on the floors and walls from their constant mopping, the Nannybot malfunctioned and exploded causing them to go into comas for 3 weeks. Upon coming out of his coma, the only things engraved into his mind were mopping. From then on all Angel Zee spends all his time annoying God and Lucifer by constantly mopping their palaces with his best friend Demon Joe.

Quote: ”Mopina baby, I’m home” “Nobody can out-mop me!”

Relationships:

God, Lucifer, Jerry, Jim, Rick, Emil, Lance, Alfred, Craig, Dracula, Ferdinand, Spike, Ringo, Xanthus, Skelly: Doesn’t understand why they all yell at him

Demon Joe: BEST FRIEND

Mopina: Loving mop wife

Alejandro, Fernando: thinks they are his friends

Andre: loves that he gives him new mops

#character sheet

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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Ringo Character Sheet

Name: Ringo Cyprus

Nickname: Ringo, Rinny boy (by Jim)

Species: Angel

Age (estimate) or status: around 28 in human years

Gender: male

Occupation: Leader of The Halos (Heaven’s normal army)

Where they live: at the barracks on cloud 3 above the Palace

General personality (like a short description): He takes his job as Leader of the Halos very seriously. He is respected by his soldiers. He has a playboy attitude when he isn’t working. He is always at Club Mythical parting in his free time. Loves partying and being around people. He’s an all around good time.

Fears: losing a soldier, not being able to party

Habits: partying at Club Mythical, training.

Negative traits: full of himself, wild, arrogant

Positive traits: Brave, caring, friendly

Backstory: Before the Great War Ringo was the Co-General of Heaven’s army. After The Great War, God split the army into 2. Ringo became the Leader of the Halos. The Halo’s are the main army of Heaven they are always on stand by for anything. Ringo is very well loved among his army. He is a great leader and fighter. On the days he’s not training his army, he can be found at Club Mythical with his friends Jim and Alfred. He is terrified of skeletons, because his mom was killed by one when they went rogue.

Quote: “Who’s ready to party!” “Nobody will ever be as buff as me”

Relationships:

God: respects her the most, thinks her full form is sick.

Lucifer: respects her, kind of scared of her

Ferdinand: looks up to him for what he did in the Great War. Thinks he’s super brave.

Dracula: doesn’t like him, he’s too serious

Spike, Xanthus: a lot of respect for them Thinks they needs to go out more

Skelly: wants to like him but is terrified of him since he’s a skeleton

Jim, Alfred: loves partying with them

Craig: wishes he would party more, likes his band.

Jerry: feels bad for him, thinks he’s a nice dude

Rick: thinks it’s funny he can make Lucifer scared

Fernando, Alejandro, Andre: thinks they are funny

Roberto: feels bad for him

Seabiscuit, JellyNugget: sees them a lot at Club Mythical, subbed to their onlyfans

#character sheet

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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Spike Character Sheet

Name: Spike Dagon

Nickname: Spike, Commander

Species: Angel

Age (estimate) or status: around 40 in human years

Gender: Male

Occupation: General of The Thorns Special Army of Heaven

Where they live: in the Military Base on Cloud 0

General personality (like a short description): Spike Dagon is the General of the Thorns. He takes his job very seriously and is very respected among the angles. He may look mean and scary, but on the inside he is a big softy. He enjoys talking to the other generals of Heaven and hell about military strategies.

Fears: failure, something happening to his wife and daughter

Habits: spending time with his wife and daughter, talking about military strategies, training

Negative traits: over confident, Intimidating, old fashioned

Positive traits: Loving, Loyal, Motivated, Brave.

Backstory: Before the Great War Spike used to be the general of the Angel Army. Spike showed a lot of potential after the Great War that God decided to make a special forces army for extreme measures. Spike became the leader of the Thorns. They are rarely ever called for battle, unless absolutely needed. Spike personally trains all of his soldiers and cares for them all deeply. Spike has a wife named Rosey whom he loves deeply, and a daughter named Rosalina. He loves spending any free time he has with them. He also enjoys going to hell to try and chat military strategies with Xanthus and Skelly.

Quote: “I will do whatever it takes to protect my family” “Anyone wanna talk strategies?”

Relationships:

Rosey, Rosalina: his wife and daughter loves them both dearly

God: has a lot of respect for her. Thinks she’s badass, especially in her full form on the battle field. Enjoys exchanging parenting tips.

Lucifer: respects her a lot. Doesn’t see often.

Ferdinand: has the most respect for him for what he did during the Great War. Thinks he’s the bravest man he knows.

Dracula: doesn’t like him, he caused too much destruction for his liking

Xanthus, Skelly: likes them, but doesn’t seem them often. He likes to try and talk strategies with them.

Ringo: respects him and what he does for his army, thinks he parties too much

Alejandro, Fernando: thinks they need to grow up, has had to break up fights many times.

Rick: likes him for keeping people in line

Jim, Alfred, Craig: they party too much

Jerry: likes him thinks he does a good job, feels bad for him

Linda, Roberto: knows they are scared of him for some reason.

Andre: caught him stealing multiple times, always gives him a lecture

Seabiscuit, JellyNugget: doesn’t want them around his daughter.

Angel Zee, Demon Joe: annoyed by them

#character sheet

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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Andre Character Sheet

Name: Andre Blackwell

Nickname: Andre, Dre, Thief (by Lucifer)

Species: Human

Age (estimate) or status: about 16 in human years

Gender: male

Occupation: owns a pawn shop

Where they live: mostly at his pawn shop in Purgatory, but has a room in Heaven at the palace.

General personality (like a short description): Andre is a great thief. He always went around stealing everyone’s things, it didn’t matter who they were if he wanted it and could make a profit he would. God got tired of him storing all of his stolen items in various rooms in the palace that she built him a pawn shop for him to sell his things in Purgatory. Alejandro and Fernando both help him fill his pawn shop by stealing form God and Lucifer a lot. He steals more items from Lucifer because he thinks it’s funny to watch her get mad and tell God.

Fears: losing his pawn shop, Lucifer not getting anymore cool items for him to steal.

Habits: stealing, filming himself stealing items for his YouTube channel, helping Alejandro and Fernando prank god and Lucifer.

Negative traits: stealing, lying, disobedient

Positive traits: smart, independent, helpful, friendly

Backstory: He was stolen from a Walmart by Lucifer when God mentioned she wanted another child. He was a very quiet kid that kept to himself at first, so nobody really noticed when things started to go missing. He always wanted to go with Fernando to hell so he could always steal Lucifer’s collections of various items. Nobody knew he was stealing the items until Alejandro and Fernando told on him. Lucifer was not happy, but God was not surprised since he was also found stealing from Walmart when Lucifer kidnapped him. God ended up building him his dream pawn shop in Purgatory. Andre now spends all his days tormenting Lucifer by stealing her dead baby collection with the help of Alejandro.

Quote: “You have no proof I stole that”

Relationships:

God: Thinks of her as his mother. Never really had a good parent figure until he met God. Respects her more than Lucifer, so he steals from her less.

Lucifer: He respects her. Thinks she has the coolest items. (that’s why he steals them so much) He’s not scared of her thinks she’s really funny.

Ferdinand: thinks it’s really cool he keeps turning into stone (really wants to sell him). Respects him, but is tired of getting lectured on stealing. Thinks of his as like a father figure.

Thalia: really likes her. Thinks of her as his baby sister. He looks forward to showing her how to steal.

Fernando: enjoys hanging out with him, always supplies him with cool skateboards. Wishes he would be nicer to Roberto.

Alejandro: he thinks he’s cool for stealing Lucifer’s stuff for him. Enjoys hanging out with him, but wishes he was nicer to Roberto

Roberto: His closest friend. Really likes having him around, he helps Andre with the pawn shop paperwork. Tries to protect him from Alejandro and Fernando.

Jerry, Lance: thinks they’re a wimp, because they let Lucifer pick on them. Wishes they would stand up for themselves. “Lucifer isn’t scary”

Rick: finds extremely funny, loves that he terrifies Lucifer

Emil: doesn’t like, he always tries to stop him from stealing Lucifer’s Items.

Dracula, Xanthus, Skelly, Spike: thinks they are cool

Jim, Ringo, Alfred, Craig: thinks they party too much.

SeaBiscuit, JellyNugget: he likes them. He manages their only fans for them.

Gina: wishes she would make him cool things to sell.

Angel Zee, Demon Joe: loves them. Andre always pays them to mop to make God and Lucifer mad, thinks it’s hilarious

#character sheet

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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Welcome to Hell! And Heaven!

This blog is dedicated to writing that I do for a bunch of original fictional characters in a series of short stories I write in my free time. If you’re interested in learning about the characters and lore behind the characters, you can ask me anything!

I have a linear original, fictional story I started for them but I have been taking a break from for the time being. You can check it out here. It’s called The Corruption of Heaven and Hell.

Prologue, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

The Characters themselves have their own character sheets for the most part. You can check them out here: Character sheets. The photos used for them are their inspo and how I picture them to look somewhat like. Not every character in the series has a character sheet yet so just ask if you have any questions about someone!

Here’s a list of short stories that I have written so far: Alejandro and Emil, The Great War, Mopina, Killing Dracula, Emil and Lucifer Drabble, Heartfelt Alejandro/Emil Moment, Ferdinand Meets God

Ask me anything you like here: Askbox

Thank you for reading! Your support is much appreciated. I hope my silly little stories can provide some entertainment.

-Ali

#original characters #original story #fantasy #fantasy story #comedy #comedy story #lucifer #god #demons #angels #demon and angel story #heaven #hell #heaven and hell story

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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Welcome to Hell! And Heaven!

I have a linear original, fictional story I started for them but I have been taking a break from for the time being. You can check it out here. It’s called The Corruption of Heaven and Hell.

Prologue, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Here’s a list of short stories that I have written so far: Alejandro and Emil, The Great War, Mopina, Killing Dracula, Emil and Lucifer Drabble, Heartfelt Alejandro/Emil Moment, Ferdinand Meets God

Ask me anything you like here: Askbox

Thank you for reading! Your support is much appreciated. I hope my silly little stories can provide some entertainment.

-Ali

#introductory post #introduction #author #writing #fiction #fictional writing #fantasy #fantasy story #heaven and hell story #demons and angels #heaven and hell #original character #oc

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

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Ferdinand Meets God

"Please let me go with you!" A clasped-hand demon man with puppy-like eyes pleads aloud.

Lucifer lets out a sigh as she looks up from her menial paperwork, setting her pen down as she massages her temples with her fingertips, "Ferdinand, why exactly do you want to go to this meeting with me so bad?"

Ferdinand keeps his hands clasped in front of him as he pleads his case, "I want to learn as much as possible! I am Hell's Prime Minister after all."

"Ferdinand-"

"I need to know about every species!" He refuses to give up, determination burning in his eyes, "Please, Master Lucifer!"

She lets out a defeated sigh, "If I let you go with me just this one time, will you quit bothering me about it? I'm sick of you interrupting my alleged tax fraud."

"I'll never bother you about it again," He exclaims, his eyes shimmering with joy, "You have my word."

"I'll have to let Lance know he can stay behind this time," Lucifer says while lost in thought, "If you see him later, can you send him to my office?"

He salutes her whimsically, happily declaring, "I'll go look for him right now!" He leaves the room before she can stop him.

"The meeting isn't for a month. He didn't need to rush to tell him..." She picks her pen back up, spinning it in her hand, "I hope I don't regret this."

The month goes by quickly enough and now Lucifer finds herself standing in front of her portal to Heaven beside Ferdinand and her lover, Dracula.

"Don't let those damned angels tell you what to do," The tall, white-haired demon hovers over her as he speaks sternly, "Us demons know better than them. Do not let them try to sway you."

"Aye, aye, captain," She playfully salutes him, taking him much more lightly than he'd like, "You worry too much. I do very well in these meetings!"

Dracula makes no attempt to hide his belligerent eye roll, "Perhaps I should go in your steed. You don't pay much attention and you cause an immense amount of disruptions."

She pouts after hearing this, "I have important things to say that can't be held back."

"Threatening to murder Jerry is quite funny- but not at all important," He sighs, glancing at Ferdinand, "Try to keep her in line, will you, my friend?"

Ferdinand giddily nods, "Yes, sir!"

'They're both helpless,' Dracula thinks aloud to himself. He shakes his head, turning his attention back to the red-haired demon. He places his obnoxiously large hands on each of her shoulders, looking down at her lovingly, "Just be safe, my dear."

She beams at him, her eyes sparkling, "I promise I will."

He nods and pulls her into a tight embrace before pulling away and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, "That's all I can ask. I will be waiting for you to return."

"We'll be back by tomorrow night," She reassures him before firing up the portal, "Come on, Ferdinand. We should head out."

"Yes, ma'am!" He waves to Dracula before following Lucifer through the portal.

Dracula lets out a sigh of relief once they've disappeared through the portal, "Finally, I can get some work done without her interfering," He saunters off down the hallway, his loud footsteps echoing off of the corridor walls.

Lucifer and Ferdinand come through the other side of the portal, both of them shielding their eyes from the blindingly bright light forcibly invading their eyesight.

Ferdinand unsurprisingly wastes no time rushing around the room in awe of everything he sees. After looking around for a few moments, he turns to Luci with a huge grin, "This palace is amazing! I can't believe it's my first time seeing it."

"This is only the portal room," She points out to him, "Just wait till you see the actual conference room!"

His excited grin only seems to grow larger at the prospect, "Why are we just standing around here then?"

Lucifer lets out a quiet chuckle as she thinks to herself, 'He should have been born an angel. He's way too naive and kind to be a demon.'

"Are you coming, Master Lucifer?" Ferdinand has already left the room and is calling out to her from outside the door.

"Coming!" She scrambles to catch up with him, scolding him lightly, "Don't get too ahead of yourself. I have to lead you to the conference room, you know?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'll be sure to not cause any trouble," He bows his head to her apologetically.

Lucifer allows a small sigh to pass through her lips, before smiling, "It's okay, I know you're excited. Let's go so you can look around before the meeting starts."

"Yes, ma'am!"

They make their way to the conference room, Ferdinand stopping every couple of minutes to marvel at assorted statues and paintings hung on the wall. He points out anything he deems intriguing to his master.

Lucifer throws the double door of the meeting room open dramatically, gesturing to the inside of the room with a confident grin, "Here it is. Look around while you can."

Ferdinand stands frozen in place, his mouth agape as he takes in the astonishingly beautiful room. A ridiculously long glass table adorned with gold accents sits in the middle of the room with an intricate crystal chandelier hanging above it. A bouquet filled with orchids and white roses sits in the middle of the meeting table.

The floor of the room is a white marble with black details here and there. Several stone statues can be found in separate corners of the room, as well as a luxury bar. The room was decorated by God, herself.

Ferdinand finally shakes his head and takes his first few steps into the room, "It's so beautiful! I can't believe it! Hell looks so different than here."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Lucifer has already made herself at home behind the bar and is pouring herself a shot of vodka, "I much prefer Hell. My decorating skills are much better."

Ferdinand is studying each and every little object in the room, taking in everything with beaming eyes and a bright smile. Lucifer downs some more vodka before sitting down in her usual chair at the table. She glances at her watch before calling out to Ferdinand.

"Mythical creatures are gonna start showing up soon so you should get your ass over here before you get yelled at."

"Yes, ma'am!" He hurries over to her, standing behind her chair with his hands clasped together behind his back. While Ferdinand can be quite child-like, he also knows how to act professionally and cordially.

Lucifer continues sipping on her drink as several different mythical creatures begin to trickle into the room. The Tooth Fairy, Mother Nature, and the Sandman are the first couple of meeting-goers to enter the room. Luci greets them each by harassing them a little.

"How's the tooth business?" Luci starts, unable to hide her twisted grin, "Probably not that good since you only make a quarter off of each tooth. What a fool. Why don't you just charge those sticky iPad kids more?"

The Tooth Fairy lets out an annoyed sigh, completely expecting this as Lucifer says this every meeting, "Our company has no need to charge more with the number of teeth we receive. Apparently, you don't make enough with your Hellmeth since you have to commit tax fraud."

"How do you know about that??" She shoots up from her seat with both hands on the table as she questions them in disbelief. Ferdinand clears his throat, prompting Luci to sit back down, "I mean- that's a ridiculous accusation."

The Sandman is already asleep at the table while mother nature completely ignores their conversation. The Easter Bunny shows up next, Father Time coming in only a few moments after him. He sits down beside the dark lord, refusing to make eye contact with Lucifer, who stares intensely at him.

"When are you gonna make more national Hellidays?" Lucifer loudly speaks up, "You keep rejecting my forms for holidays. I have good ideas."

He sighs as he turns to face her, "Beat your kids day is hardly what I would call a good holiday."

"You wouldn't know a good holiday if it bit you in the ass!"

He lets out an annoyed huff, before turning away from her again, "Beat your kids on your own time, Lucifer. We're here for a meeting."

She's just about to shout out something hurtful in her defense but stops when Ferdinand places a calming hand on her shoulder.

When the doors open next, they reveal a jolly, red-cheeked Santa Claus, "Ho, ho, ho! Good morning everyone!" He heartily greets his mythical creature friends.

His jolly demeanor diminishes as soon as he spots Lucifer already in her seat. Under his breath, he mumbles, "Goddammit, she's actually on time for once," He unwillingly makes his way over to her, sitting in his usual chair beside her.

"Hello, Santa," Luci greets him smugly, "Still using slave labor?"

Santa pinches the bridge of his nose as a loud sigh falls from his lips, "We have this conversation every meeting, Lucifer. It's not slave labor if they're actually being paid to work for me."

"You're sounding a lot like Jeff Bezos," She remarks snidely, "And why are you paying them? Just force them to work for free. What are they gonna do- fight back? Those little bitches are like 2 feet tall."

Santa sighs again, setting his hand down on the table as he turns to face her, "Let me get this straight- you harassed me for using slave labor but now you say I'm not utilizing slave labor enough?"

"That's right!" She starts, enthusiastically, "Give me your elves if you're not gonna use them right!"

"I'm not going to abuse my elves, Lucifer, nor am I going to let you abuse them," He groans, peering up at Ferdinand, "Can you fetch me a bottle of peppermint schnapps from behind the bar? I have a feeling I'm going to need it."

Ferdinand nods, politely, "Right away, sir," He takes quick strides towards the bar as Santa calls out after him.

"There's no need for a glass!"

Ferdinand returns momentarily with his liqueur, returning to his place standing behind Lucifer. Santa opens the bottle and takes a very long swig as Lucifer continues harassing him.

Jack Frost enters the meeting room next, making sure to laugh at Santa for being bullied by Lucifer before taking a seat. Lastly, Lucky the leprechaun enters the room, earning instant death glares from Luci.

"Who invited this idiot?" Lucifer points at him sheepishly, "He's not even tall enough to sit down in the seat without a stepstool."

"I'm tall enough to beat your ass!" He's standing directly in front of her now, "Come down here and I'll teach you a lesson."

"I could literally step on you like the disgusting rat you are," She says with a sadistic smirk playing on her lips, "You wanna die today, you little idiot?"

He lunges for her leg but Ferdinand has already crouched down and placed his hand in front of him, "Let's not fight. We should all be friendly."

"She doesn't know how to be friendly! She always talks down to me!"

Luci fails to suppress a giggle, "Of course, I always talk down to you when you're barely a foot tall."

"That's it! I'm gonna fucking kill her!" He lunges at her again but this time the sound of the double doors opening distracts him.

A bright, white light blinds everyone in the room for a few moments before God and her right-hand man Jerry come into view. Ferdinand stops shading his eyes from the light as he stares at God in total and utter awe, the fight from a few moments ago completely forgotten.

She dons a long, intricate gold dress with a winged veil placed upon her head. She greets the room with a smile as Jerry rushes to pull her chair out for her.

"Good morning, everyone. So glad you could all make it," She sits down at the head of the table, "Did everyone arrive safely?"

Lucky grumbles under his breath as he sneaks over to his seat. Santa, who has already downed a whole bottle of peppermint schnapps speaks up, his words slurring, "Do we have to invite Lucifer to every meeting? She's completely insufferable," This earns many voices agreeing with him. He turns to face Ferdinand again, "Can I get another bottle of peppermint schnapps please?"

Ferdinand nods his head, pulling himself out of his trance-like state as he finally tears his vision away from God's glowing figure, "Yes, right away, sir," He rushes back over to the bar.

"I know Luci can be a handful but she needs to be present for these meetings as well. I only ask that you put up with her during this time," She bows to them apologetically.

Jerry quickly panics as he sees this, rushing to stand beside her as he frets about her actions, "God shouldn't have to bow to others!'

"It's fine, Jerry," She waves him off, "Don't worry so much."

Lucifer takes another sip of her drink, shouting, "I'm right here, you know. Quit talking about me like I'm not in the room."

"Oh, I know. That's exactly why I'm talking like this," God remarks nonchalantly, "I apologize for her actions in advance. Shall we start the meeting?"

Ferdinand returns with Santa's second bottle of peppermint schnapps and returns to his post behind Lucifer as he quietly watches the meeting begin.

God brings to light several issues, speaking confidently as she leads the meeting. She allows the other mythical creatures to speak their minds and replies to them warmly. Luci causes several more disturbances, as expected of her. She starts another fight with Lucky the leprechaun. Unsurprisingly, she refuses to let go of her grudge against any and all leprechauns.

Lucky is standing on the table now as he threatens to beat the ever-loving shit out of her for demeaning him in front of the whole meeting room. Thankfully, Ferdinand is quick to get between them.

"Let's have a peaceful meeting, guys," Ferdinand starts, offering them both a nervous smile, "Violence is never the answer."

"Shut the fuck up, you demon bastard," The small leprechaun growls at him, "Don't pretend you're a pacifist. I know your kind."

Ferdinand frowns, "But I am a pacifist. Fighting never solves anything."

"Don't call him a demon bastard, you little green bitch!" Lucifer reaches out to grab him by the neck but Ferdinand stops her by grabbing her wrist, "Let me choke this bitch out, Ferdinand."

"I think we should talk this out, Master Lucifer," Ferdinand pleads with her, "You two can set aside your differences and become friends."

"This is the type of demons you employ?" Lucky squints his eyes at Ferdinand, "How disappointing. This guy is a tool."

God stands from her seat, loudly slamming both of her hands down on the glass table as she shouts, "That's enough! Ferdinand is trying to resolve the issue and you're being incredibly rude by belittling him. Apologize to him and take your seat, Lucky, or I will have to forcibly remove you from the meeting."

Lucky grumbles something inaudible under his breath before gritting his teeth as he forces himself to apologize, "I'm very sorry, Ferdinand, and fuck you, Lucifer."

He makes his way back over to his seat while Lucifer nearly lunges across the table after him. She's only stopped by Ferdinand holding her in place, "I urge you to let it go, Master Lucifer."

"Fine," She crosses her arms as she sits back down and angrily sulks.

"Thank you, Ferdinand. You helped to resolve that situation peacefully," God thanks him with a warm smile, "I realize that we haven't properly met yet. It's very nice to meet you, Ferdinand."

He's frozen in shock by her beautiful smile for a moment before he shakes this off, his cheeks dusted pink, "Y-yes! It's an honor to meet you, your majesty," He bows to her with a huge grin on his face.

She lets out a giggle at his endearing greeting, "I'd love to speak with you more after the meeting," She glances at Luci for a moment, "As long as you can convince your master to stay."

"I'll do my best to!" He eagerly responds.

"Then I look forward to it!" She sits back down, clearing her throat as she begins their next discussion, "Should we move Easter Sunday to Monday instead? What are everyone's thoughts on the matter?"

The meeting continues for a little bit longer before God wraps things up and schedules the next meeting date. She thanks everyone for coming before ending the meeting. Most of the mythical creatures rush out of the room, especially a drunken Santa Claus (he later received a SUI- Sleighing while under the influence.)

Ferdinand was able to talk Lucifer into staying late after promising to make her as many drinks as she desires. She sits at the meeting table, sipping on her drink while playing Flappy Demon on her phone while Ferdinand nervously approaches God.

"Thank you for calming Lucky down. He just wouldn't listen to me," Ferdinand fidgets uncomfortably as he stands in front of such an astonishing and powerful deity.

"I should be thanking you for helping to keep Luci in line. She's not good with meetings," Her gaze shifts to Lucifer for a quick moment before looking back at Ferdinand, "You're quite intriguing."

Ferdinand is caught off-guard by her blasé statement, "Me?" He points to himself, "Why?"

A quiet chuckle escapes her lips, "I've never met such a peaceful demon before. You seem much too kind to be a demon."

Ferdinand rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, "You flatter me, your majesty. I'm merely a lowly demon servant."

"I wouldn't say that," She counters, "You're hell's prime minister, aren't you? You surely are something special."

He politely bows his head to her, "I appreciate your kind words greatly, your majesty."

She sets a reassuring hand on his shoulder, prompting him to glance up into her pale blue eyes, "There's no need to be so formal, Ferdinand. You can think of me as a friend."

This instantly flusters him, "T-thank you, your majesty."

"You should probably get Lucifer back to her hotel room before she finishes off that bottle," God explicated, motioning to her, "Or it might be difficult to get her to leave this room."

He nods in agreement with her, "Yes, I think you're right."

"I hope to see you at more meetings. Get home safe, Ferdinand, and don't let Luci bully you," She flashes him a bright smile before leaving the room.

Ferdinand watches the door for several moments after she has already left, still feeling dazed by her very presence. He feels his heart beating erratically in his chest as well as an odd feeling present in his gut. A beaming smile overtakes his expression as he realizes what he's feeling.

He rushes over to Lucifer and clasps his hands together in front of her, pleading with puppy-like eyes, "Please give me God's phone number!"

Lucifer regards him with a furrowed brow as she stares up at him in disbelief, "Excuse me?"

"I would like to have God's phone number, please!"

"Uh, that's literally God. I'm not gonna give her phone number out like candy," She explains to him firmly.

"I think we have a lot in common and I would like to get to know her better!" He pleads with the dark lord, "Please, allow me to have God's phone number. You won't regret it!"

"Ferdinand-"

"Please, Master Lucifer! I won't stop until you give it to me," Determination leaks from his voice, prompting a defeated sigh from Lucifer.

"Fine, I'll give it to you. Just carry me back to the hotel. I drank too much."

"Yes, ma'am! Thank you!" He picks her up and carries her out of the room with a twinkling smile plastered to his face.

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

Text

Heartfelt Alejandro/Emil Moment

(This short story takes place in the future. Not in current time. Picture is unrelated.)

The sound of footsteps fills an empty corridor lined with dimly-lit lamps. A messy-haired boy wearing a hoodie walks down the hallway with his head down, his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets. Another set of footsteps can be heard approaching the young man but he doesn't look up. He only halts in place when a familiar voice utters out his name.

"Ale, there you are. I've been looking for you."

An annoyed sigh escapes Alejandro's lips as he begrudgingly looks up, his eyes falling on a dark-haired man donning a black suit, "What for? I haven't sold any Demon Dust to angels lately."

"We both know that's a lie," The familiar man stands with both of his hands behind his back, a mannerism from his servant days that he still has yet to shake, "I'm not here to take you to Hell jail."

Ale perks up an eyebrow at him, "Okay, Emil, why were you looking for me then? Did you finally realize my mom is a psycho and you want to team up with me to take over Hell?"

"Not in the slightest," He reaches into his inside suit pocket, pulling out a velvet box, "I'd like for you to take a look at this for me," He opens the box, revealing an astounding blood-filled diamond ring.

Ale's eyes widen slightly as he tries to suppress his look of astonishment, "Is that for my mom?"

Emil closes his eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips as he offers him a short nod in response, "Yes, I plan on proposing to her with it, though I don't know much about blood diamonds. That's why I've come to you."

"Hold on, you actually wanna propose to my mom?" Alejandro asks him in disbelief.

Emil nods, "Yes, is that so surprising?"

"Uh, did you not see what happened to her last husband?" He speaks to Emil as if he's stupid, "She literally killed him."

"Yes, I'm aware. I helped her kill him after all," the former servant replies nonchalantly.

"He wasn't the only husband she killed, though. You know her track record," Ale holds a finger up as he points this out to him, "You really wanna be next?"

Emil seems proud as he announces, "It would be nothing short of an honor to die by the love of my life, Lucifer's hands."

Ale doesn't even try to hide his look of obvious disgust as he rolls his eyes, "Okay, take it down a notch, simp."

Emil holds the ring out to him, "Can you let me know if this is a good ring?"

The mischievous boy only shrugs, "What makes you think I'll know if it's any good?"

"I'm aware of all of the jewelry you steal and give to Andre for him to pawn," Emil explains, "I'd prefer asking you over Andre if at all possible."

Alejandro rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Relax, I'm not going to tell your mother," He nudges him, "Not as long as you look over this diamond for me that is."

"Blackmail? Now, that's something I respect," He holds his hand out, "Hand over the rock."

Emil places the velvet box in Alejandro's hand, prompting Alejandro to take out a magnifying class. He studies it closely for a few moments, surprising Emil with his amount of sheer focus.

Alejandro finally leans away from the blood diamond, handing it back over to Emil and shoving his magnifying glass back in his pants pocket. He shoots Emil a smirk, "Yeah, this is a real blood diamond. 25 carat too. I bet it'd fetch a good price at Andre's pawn shop."

Emil closes the ring box promptly after hearing this, "Thank you, Alejandro, but I do not plan on selling it."

Ale shrugs, "Your loss. I'm assuming you paid a small fortune for it."

"It was worth every penny. I've been saving up for it for a while," The dark-haired man starts, a ghost of a smile evident on his lips, "Nothing is too good for Luci."

This earns another retching sound from the young man, 'Yeah, yeah, good for her. Is that all you wanted?"

Emil nods in confirmation, "Yes, that was all. Thank you, Alejandro. I knew you would help."

Alejandro furrows his brows in confusion, "What do you mean by that? I never help people. I'm a nuisance- a troublemaker, remember?"

"I disagree. You may enjoy your petty schemes and causing problems, but I know deep down you truly care for your mother and I've seen you help her more often than you'd like to admit. You also help Andre by stealing things for him and I know for a fact you help Fernando with his skateboarding," Emil explicates warmly, accompanied by a warm smile, "I've known you for quite some time, Alejandro. You care in your own different ways."

Alejandro seems to have been left speechless as Emil's kind words are met with silence. This prompts him to turn around to walk away, but Ale calls out to him.

"Emil, wait-" Alejandro's eyes are glued to the floor when Emil faces him again. The self-proclaimed troublemaker is quiet for a moment before his voice comes out hushed, "I'm happy you're marrying my mom."

Even Emil, a usually stoic demon, is taken by surprise by Ale's sudden proclamation, "Really? May I ask why?"

Ale still can't seem to meet his gaze as he turns to watch the wall beside them instead of the floor, "Well, you were always kinda like a dad to me. I know Dracula is back and I should think of him as my dad- but I don't," His darting eyes finally meet Emil's, "You always took care of me and I know you really love my mom, and I mean really love. It's pretty disgusting but it makes her happy."

Now it's Emil's turn to be left speechless.

"Hell, Slave has already been calling you grandpa before you even started actually dating my mom," He pauses to take a long breath, "I guess I wanted to thank you for taking care of me and my mom. You're way too good for her and I'll never understand why you like her so much, but I'm still happy for you."

"Alejandro..." He takes a few steps towards a hesitant Ale and pulls him into a hug- one of their first-ever hugs, "Thank you for saying that. I never expected to hear such words from you, even so, I'm immensely grateful that you told me your true thoughts," He pulls away from him, leaving one hand resting on his shoulder, "Truthfully, I've always thought of you as a son. It has been an honor watching you grow up. You certainly keep things interesting."

"Yeah, you've been to Heaven and Purgatory so many times to pick me up and throw me in Hell jail for doing something stupid," Ale starts, adding on, "I deserve it most of the time, I'll admit it."

Emil lets out a quiet chuckle, "Thank you for your kind words, Alejandro."

"Sure, but if you tell anyone, especially my mom, about this, Fernando and I will kidnap Roberto and try to kill my mom again," Comes Ale's completely expected threat.

"Very well," The former-servant easily agrees, "I should prepare for the proposal."

Alejandro turns around to walk away, shoving his hands back in his hoodie pockets, "See ya. Good luck."

A loving smile is present on Emil's face as he watches him walk away, more than overjoyed with how this conversation just went. He lets out a deep breath as he thinks to himself, 'Time for the hardest part,' He places the velvet box back in his inside suit jacket before turning and walking away.

#short story #fiction #fictional story #heaven and hell story #heaven and hell #heaven #hell #angels #demons #future #fantasy #fantasy story #comedy #comedy story #heartfelt #alejandro #emil

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

Text

Emil and Lucifer Drabble

"Ah, Lucifer, just the woman I was looking for!" Dracula's loud voice calls from the entryway of her office.

She barely glances up from her paperwork to acknowledge him, "What is it, Dracula? Did Andre steal your birdwatching binoculars again? Just tell Lance or Emil and they'll sort it out."

"Nothing was stolen from me," He says as he makes his way over to her desk, except for my heart. By you," He winks at her and offers her a sly grin.

Emil was about to enter the room, but he stops outside the doorway when he notices Dracula in the room. He watches him with a raised eyebrow.

She looks up from her paperwork to give him a confused look, "Hmm, okay. That's a new one." She looks back down at her work, barely paying him any mind.

"You look awfully beautiful, this evening," He says, desperately trying to hold her attention, "Absolutely stunning."

Emil feels a sudden wrench in his gut, although he's not too sure why. He has to hold himself back from entering the room.

Lucifer looks up at him, questioning him, "Alright, what's this about?"

He sets his hand on top of hers, his red orbs gazing into her black eyes, "Can't I compliment my fiancee?"

She moves her hand away quickly, annoyedly remarking, "Ex fiancee. And no you can't." He inches his face closer to hers, but she shows no reaction to this, "Why not? Don't be shy now, love." He moves to push her hair away from her face, prompting Emil to instantly move towards the door, but she smacks his hand away and shoves him away from her. Emil pauses and continues to watch the situation, an odd feeling present in his gut. A feeling that he can't seem to put his finger on.

"What are you expecting to gain from this? My trust? You will never take the throne from me," She says with a wicked grin, poison in her words, "You might as well quit while I let you live. I could change my mind at any given moment."

Emil finds himself smiling at her response to his advances, feeling proud of his master.

Dracula feels distraught that his advances weren't successful, and lets out a sigh, "I was not hoping to gain anything but your love or friendship."

"This isn't the way to do it," She replies with a huff, crossing her arms. "I hold quite a grudge against you, as I'm sure you're aware."

Dracula watches her eyes, easily able to see the complete and utter disdain she holds for him present in her gaze.

Emil straightens his suit jacket out, and finally opens the door, casually walking in as if he didn't overhear anything, "Do you need any help, master?"

Her eyes suddenly change when looks up to see Emil, they now seem bright, sparkling, even, as she calls out to him, happily.

"Emil! There you are! I was wondering where you went!" Her annoyance and frustration from Dracula have easily dissipated.

Emil moves to stand beside the desk, his gaze on his master, ignoring his former best friend's cold glare. He bows slightly, "My apologies, master. Demon Joe was mopping in Alejandro's room again so I had to remove him."

"Should have removed him from life, too."

Emil lets out a small chuckle at this, causing Lucifer to smile at him in return.

"Oh? You liked that one?" She asks him, seemingly proud of her response.

He nods, a small grin present on his face, "Very much so." Dracula watches their interactions, quietly seething inside. 'Traitors. They both are,' He thinks to himself.

Instead of saying this, he forces a smile, clearing his throat to gain their attention, "I suppose I will allow you to finish your work. Let us talk later." With that being said, he leaves the room, gritting his teeth, harshly.

"Why was he in here?" Emil questions his master, pretending he didn't overhear anything.

Lucifer waves him off, looking back down at her paperwork, "To annoy me with his very presence, it would seem." This also earns a chuckle from Emil, causing Lucifer to beam happily up at him, "I'm glad you liked that one, too."

"It was unexpected, but much appreciated," Comes his reply.

Dracula listens in from outside of the room, rage boiling in his blood, "Emil, you sick bastard. And to think, I had once called you my best friend."

#short story #heaven and hell story #heaven and hell #heaven #hell #demons #angels #fiction #fictional #original characters #oc #fictional story #fantasy #fantasy story #comedy #comedy story #emil #lucifer #dracula

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

Text

Killing Dracula

"Emil, where is my morning coffee?" Dracula asks as he casually reads the Hell newspaper. He sits at the long dining table, all of the other chairs are empty.

"Right here, Lord Dracula," Emil flies over to him, setting the mug down in front of him, watching him closely, trying to read his facial expressions.

Without looking up from the paper, Dracula questions him, "Something bothering you, Emil?"

Emil stiffens, hesitating before speaking, "I was just thinking that your wedding is coming up. That means we'll need to initiate your plan soon."

Dracula gives him a short nod, before taking a sip of his coffee, "It's a simple plan, Emil. You needn't worry about it."

"Of course, Lord Dracula," He starts, "I want it to work without any problems."

"Don't worry, Emil. Soon you'll be the right-hand man to the ruler of Hell. I'll even let you lead the Hell army."

"You are too generous, Lord Dracula," Emil says, slightly bowing his head.

Dracula lets out a chuckle, "It won't take much to kill Lucifer after the wedding."

Emil looks up with widened eyes, "K-kill, sir?"

"It's the only way the cement my rulership, Emil," Dracula casually explains to him, "Did you really think we were just going to lock her in Hell Jail? No, she needs to die."

"B-but sir-

"Are we going to have a problem, Emil?" He finally sets his newspaper down, his eyes boring holes in the back of Emil's head.

He quickly shakes his head, "Of course not, sir."

A wide grin forms on Dracula's face, as he stands up from the table, "That's why you're my best friend," He sets his hand on his servant's shoulder, "This is what is best for the kingdom."

"I know, sir."

After his chat with Dracula, Emil rushes off to Lucifer's bedroom, her having called for him, as Lance is still away on business. He finds her sitting on her bed, looking disheartened.

"Master Lucifer, you called me."

Lucifer feels her stomach, a sorrowful look in her eyes, "Emil, how would Dracula react if I told him that I was pregnant?"

"Badly," His cold response causes her to sob. Guilt that has been rising in Emil since his chat with Dracula finally breaks him, prompting him to say, "Master Lucifer, we need to talk. It's about your throne."

Luci stifles her sobs, sniffling, before asking, "What about my throne?"

Emil looks away, hesitant to tell her, but after a few moments, he finally comes clean, "Lord Dracula and I had a plan to usurp the throne from you after you two married. At first, the plan was just to lock you away, but now I hear that he plans to kill you."

"..Is that so?" Lucifer stops to think for a second, "So, that's what God meant when she said he had been hiding things. I wonder how she knew that..." Her gaze hardens on Emil, causing him to shift uncomfortably, "Why did you tell me this? This is treason. I'm sure you realize that."

Emil kneels, bowing his head to her, "I'm more than aware, Master Lucifer, but I couldn't let him get away with this. You are Hell's true ruler, and on a more personal level, a good friend."

"Emil..." Luci watches him in shock, before reaching out and setting her hand on top of his head, "Help me kill him, and I will forgive you of these crimes."

He offers her a short nod, "Of course. I will do anything to protect you and your unborn child."

"I can't let Dracula know that I'm pregnant now. No, he doesn't deserve to know," Lucifer starts, "He's been using me this whole time, hasn't he, Emil?"

Emil sighs, but gives a short nod, "It is true. I'm only sorry that I did not tell you sooner."

"Well, you were his best friend long before you were even hired, so it isn't surprising," She briefly thinks back to when he first was hired, "Although, I never did like the way that he treated you."

Luci pulls Emil to his feet, "It'll be easier for us if we avoid an all-out fight. He's too strong, he'll destroy the castle, and possibly kill us."

Emil quickly agrees with her, "I think the easiest possible way would be to poison his wine at dinner one night."

"I agree," Comes Lucifer's reply, "Wait, was that his plan for me?"

Emil shakes his head, "No, he planned to decapitate you, and keep your head on his bedside table."

"Alright, that's unnecessary," She thinks for a second, "Maybe we should decapitate him after we poison him."

The demon servant lets out a sadistic chuckle, "Perhaps we decapitate him just as he drinks the poison."

"I like the way you think, Emil."

"What are you going to name your child, Master?" He gestures towards her stomach.

"I have a few ideas, though I haven't picked one yet."

Later that day, Lucifer and Emil prepare mass amounts of poison- enough to kill most of Hell's population. They pick out a night to put the plan into action and mix all of their poison into an expensive bottle of red Hell wine. Lucifer sits across from Dracula at the large dining table, as he eats a comically large chicken leg.

"What's wrong, my dear?" Dracula wonders in a loving tone, "You've barely touched your dragon's blood."

Luci quickly shakes her head, forcing a smile onto her face, "Nothing at all, my love. It's been a long day. I suppose I'm just a little tired."

Chef Luca brings out the bottle of wine and begins to pour it into Draula's oversized wine glass. Dracula lets out a hearty chuckle, before thanking Chef Luca and raising his glass. "Let's have a toast!"

Emil stands next to Dracula, eyes widened, thinking to himself, "This isn't good. Master Lucifer can't drink that! Even a tiny sip will kill her!"

Luci nervously raises her glass, "Um, right."

"To the love of my life!" He exclaims, before adding, "Who would never even dream of trying to poison me... Right?"

Lucifer's life flashes before her eyes as Dracula jumps across the table, grabbing her by the throat, and strangling her, "Did you really think that I wouldn't find out?" The pressure on her neck increases, "I'm no idiot, my dear. I'm incredibly disappointed that you think I could be so stupid."

Emil jumps to action, flying across the table, and throwing Dracula off of her. He lands in a crouched position in front of his master defensively.

"You too, Emil?" Dracula stands from where he was thrown, "I should have known. You have been acting weird lately... Let me guess," He pauses for a moment before making an accusation, "You two were having an affair behind my back this whole time?"

"Wha-"

Lucifer quickly cuts Emil off, pulling herself off of the floor, "You were the one who was using me. You've committed high treason! You only wanted power this whole time!!"

Dracula shrugs, "High treason, you say? It's a shame you won't get to live to see me arrested!" He lunges towards her again, taking full demon form as he does.

Emil and Luci quickly jump out of the way, both of them also assuming their full demon forms to counter him. Luci rushes to grab a sword from a decorative armor set and charges Dracula. The demon dodges her sword slash and turns around to grab her, however, Emil knocks him out of the way first.

"Emil, you treacherous bastard!" Dracula curses at him, "Does she know that you were involved?"

They both crash into a wall, Emil standing over him, "Of course. Who do you think told her? How dare you try to kill her. She is Hell's rightful ruler!"

Dracula stands up angrily, and shoves him out of the way, throwing him onto the dinner table. The dinner table shatters on impact, leaving Emil out of commission for a few moments.

Fire bursts from Luci's body as she moves to slash at him again, but the half-demon dodges. He grabs her wrist, twisting it until the sword falls from her hand. Dracula quickly grabs her neck again, holding her against the wall with one hand, her feet no longer touching the ground.

"Insufferable girl," He starts, tightening the grip on her neck, prompting her to loudly gasp for air, "You were never fit to run the kingdom!"

Emil stands up, calling out to his former best friend, "Would you really kill the mother of your unborn child?!"

Dracula drops Lucifer out of shock, "Unborn child..." He's completely caught off guard by this. Lucifer quickly grabs the sword she dropped and thrusts it into his abdomen. Dracula falls to his knees, his demon form disappearing. He holds onto the sword in his chest, coughing up a generous amount of blood. "Lucifer, is it true..?" He weakly asks.

Emil lands next to Lucifer, both of their demon forms fading. She nods, "It is true," She grabs onto the hilt of the sword, "And you will never meet Alejandro." She thrusts the sword deeper into his chest. The light in his eyes fades, and he falls over lifeless. Lucifer spits on him, "You should never have tested me."

She turns to face Emil, who kneels before her, "You are forgiven, Emil. And you are no longer Dracula's right-hand man," She places a hand on his shoulder, "You are mine."

He bows his head to her, "I am honored, master."

"We should probably bury him somewhere, huh?"

Emil and Lucifer bury his body in a location known only to them. Afterward, Lucifer calls God asking how she knew what Dracula was planning.

"Oh, I can read thoughts," God says over the speaker, "I just don't do it often. It takes a lot of energy."

Luci sighs into the phone, wondering, "Why didn't you warn me?"

"I wanted to see if you could handle it on your own," She explains, "I was testing you, and you passed."

"Emil and I almost died.."

God laughs, "But you didn't. And now you're both stronger. You'll thank me someday."

Meanwhile, Lance is questioning Emil on why he got demoted.

"I don't get it!" Lance complains, "I didn't do anything wrong..!"

Emil gives him a weary look, "I'm sure it's nothing personal."

Lance lets out a long sigh, "How am I gonna tell my wife, Martha??"

#short story #heaven and hell #heaven #hell #fiction #fictional story #fantasy #fantasy story #comedy #comedy story #heaven and hell story #angels #demons #dracula #emil #lucifer

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

Text

Mopina

"Demon Joe, please get out of my throne room, already," Lucifer sighs, watching as the demon mops every inch of the floors and walls.

He shakes his head and keeps aggressively, "It needs to be clean XD lol."

"Why did you say XD out loud?" She questions, before brushing it off, "Just get out. Go see Angel Zee or something."

"Omg that's a great idea," He says excitedly, stopping his mopping, "But I think that he's in Heaven."

Lucifer looks over to Lance, who stands beside her, "Can you take him to the portal room, and escort him to Heaven?"

"Yes, master," He starts to walk forward, grabbing Demon Joe and dragging him along with him.

Demon Joe grabs his mop, clinging onto it for dear life as Lance pulls him into the portal room. Lance activates the portal, and gestures for Demon Joe to go through it.

"Go look for Angel Zee," Lance starts, before adding, "And don't piss off God again."

Demon Joe smiles and nods at him, "I'll just go mop Fernando's room this time!"

Lance rolls his eyes as Demon Joe disappears through the portal. Demon Joe appears on the other side and immediately starts to desperately mop every inch of the hallway. After a few minutes of mopping, his mop hits another mop. He looks up to see his best friend, Angel Zee. They do their secret mop handshake (It's like a handshake but with mops.)

"Did you already mop that side of the hallway?" Angel Zee asks, eyes filled with excitement.

"Yeah I did, but let's do it again to make sure it's clean!!" They both start to mop the same hallway again, seeing who can mop the best.

Alejandro and Fernando watch them from down the hallway. Alejandro looking annoyed, "Why do they like mopping so much?"

Fernando shrugs, saying, "Mom says that they're the weakest links."

Alejandro continues watching them, a thought suddenly coming to mind. A mischievous grin forming on his face, "Do you guys have any extra mops?"

"Yeah, there's a whole closet of back-ups. Why?"

"I've got an idea."

Fernando leads Alejandro to the closet full of mops, and Alejandro pulls out a pair of sunglasses, super gluing it onto to the mop head. He ties some strings to it so it looks like she's standing on her handle.

"Do you think that they'll like their new friend?" Alejandro asks, a sly grin on his face.

Fernando laughs and nods, "Do you think they'll really fall for it?" Alejandro gives him a look, prompting Fernando to say, "Yeah, you're right. That was a stupid question."

"Alright, let's go find them."

It doesn't take them long to find them, as they're mopping the same hallway for the thirteenth time. Alejandro and Fernando hide up in the vents of the ceiling, dangling their creation down behind the two idiots.

"Hey, guys!" Alejandro fakes a girl's voice, "I heard you both really like mops."

Angel Zee and Demon Joe turn around, both of them looking completely astonished. Alejandro and Fernando's exchange worried looks, concerned that they aren't falling for it. After a few seconds, they finally rush up to her, excitedly.

"Zomg!! You are so pretty!! What's your name?" Angel Zee gushes, as he starts feeling her hair.

Demon Joe pushes him out of the way, "Omg, Zee, I saw her first!!"

Alejandro and Fernando stifle their giggles, before Ale speaks in a high-pitched voice, "My name is uh.."

"Mopina!" Fernando cuts in, with a girl's voice.

They both look completely lovestruck complimenting her and trying to win her affection.

"My name Angel Zee!!" Angel Zee explains, bowing to her, "M'lady. I'd be honored to take you out on a special mopping date."

Demon Joe cuts in, trying to get her attention, "I'm Demon Joe, and you are the most beautiful creature in the galaxy!!"

Demon Joe and Angel Zee give each other death glares, but Mopina distracts them, "Now, now, boys, there's enough of me for the both of you!"

"But I don't wanna share!!" Angel Zee stomps his feet like a child.

Demon Joe crosses his arms, a pouty look evident on his face, "Samezies."

"Well, I guess there is one way to win my heart.." Mopina says in an innocent tone.

"We'll do anything!!" They both desperately exclaim.

"Do all of our chores!" Fernando accidentally says in his voice, causing Alejandro to shush him. Fernando clears his throat, using a high-pitched voice again, "I have a list of challenges for you, and whoever does the most wins my heart!"

"That's easy peasy!" Angel Zee says with a smile, "I'm super good at challenges. I always win our mopping competitions!"

"No you don't!" Demon Joe argues, "I'll do the most challenges!!"

Alejandro drops down two pieces of paper, and they both reach out and grab one.

"Wow, there's a lot.." Demon Joe says as he reads over the list.

Angel Zee grins, "Gonna give up already?"

"Never!!"

Zee bows down in front of Mopina and kisses her handle, "M'lady, I'll handle this in no time."

Joe scoffs, mumbling, "Kiss-ass." He turns to Mopina and smiles, pointing at himself, "Don't worry, queen, I'll finish first, and then we can go out to a nice Denny's dinner."

"Wow, so charming," Mopina says sarcastically (Which they don't realize). "There's no time to waste! Get to work on those chores! I mean challenges!"

Angel Zee and Demon Joe rush off in different directions. They're both doing an assortment of chores (very poorly), leaving horrible messes in their wake. Alejandro and Fernando sigh as they see the messes that they've made.

"Yeah, maybe this wasn't your best idea, Ale.."

"Boys!" A harsh voice says from behind them. They both turn around to see one of God's employees, Rick, "Care to explain why Angel Zee and Demon Joe have basically destroyed the castle?"

"Umm.."

"It was Ale's fault!" Fernando quickly points out.

"Thanks a lot, dude." Ale groans, before begging, "Please don't tell my mom."

Rick crosses his arms, a cold expression on his face, "God already has."

Alejandro sulks, and looks away from him, "Dammit, now I'm gonna have to go back to Hell Jail."

Fernando looks around, wondering, "Where did we even leave Mopina?"

Rick raises an eyebrow, "Mopina?"

"They were doing our chores to win the heart of a mop I put sunglasses on and called Mopina," Ale explains to him casually.

Rick sighs, mentally facepalming himself, "Why must you two do things like this?" He grabs both of their arms, pulling them along with him, "You can explain this to God yourself."

They both groan and complains as he drags them down the hallway. Meanwhile, Angel Zee did the most challenges, so he's won Mopina's heart. He holds her close, kissing her mophead, "Seems I've won your heart, fair maiden."

Demon Joe sighs, his eyes tearing up, "I'll never be good enough for her."

"It's okay, you can still mop with us, Demon Joe," Angel Zee explains happily, "But you're the third wheel, rofl."

Demon Joe joins in on their hug, still hoping that he can win Mopina back.

God sits on her throne, looking very annoyed, "You did WHAT?"

"Ugh, mom, just be cool, dude." Fernando tries to calm her down.

"Break the skateboard, Rick." She calls out to her employee, causing Rick to smash the skateboard he's holding on the ground. It shatters to pieces on the ground.

Fernando screams in horror at the sight of his prized possession breaking, "What the hell, mom? Okay, I'm sorry. Just don't break my skateboards."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too, please don't tell my mom," Ale pleads, hoping to get out of his inevitable punishment.

God crosses her arms, "Too late."

Angel Zee and Demon Joe enter the throne room, Zee holding onto Mopina. "Hey everyone, meet my beautiful new gf! Her name is Mopina."

"Oh no.." Fernando mumbles.

Ale whispers back to him, "Yeah, I guess they still like her."

Rick facepalms, "Great, they're gonna fuck a mop."

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

Text

The Great War

"Master Lucifer, the reapers have taken over the left-wing of the castle." Emil reports, a sullen look on his face.

Lucifer stands from her seat, a look of disbelief on her face, "R-really? Already?" She makes her way to the window, watching her kingdom fall, "We need to do something about this. And quickly. We can't just sit here and do nothing," She turns back around to face her servant, "Where is Dracula?"

"He's leading the army. Our general was killed in battle." Comes Emil's reply.

"W-what?!" Lucifer struggles to remain composed, "Why didn't anybody tell me?!"

"They told Lord Dracula."

Lucifer lets out a sigh but decides to ignore this as there are more pressing matters to handle, "We need to talk to God. This can't keep going on like this. Do you agree, Emil?"

Emil's expression remains cold, "I'm unsure if that's a good idea. Lord Dracula sent me here to protect you. You would need to go through the battlefield in order to get to the portal."

"Allow me to remind you that this is MY kingdom and not his." Lucifer angrily states, fire flaring from her form, "I know that you're Dracula's right-hand man, but Lance is busy, and Dracula is occupied, so I need your help."

Emil quickly kneels before her, "Yes, master Lucifer."

Luci sulks for a second, before peaking outside of her office, "Alright, it's clear. Let's move."

"Understood."

They quickly exit the room, making fast, but silent strides down the hallway until they come upon a group of reapers, each of them wielding large scythes. "There she is! Get her!" The reapers rush to attack, but Lucifer flares up, changing into her full demon form. She and Emil quickly fight off all of the reapers, taking a scythe from them, and slaughtering them.

After their distraction, they fly off down the hallway, finally entering the portal room after a few minutes of traveling. Lucifer locks the door behind them, and rushes to the portal, "I'm going to have to manually reboot it. When I do, go through immediately. It will only hold for ten seconds."

Emil nods to this, as the dark lord goes to work, drawing pentagrams on each corner of it with her own blood, then painting another in the front of the portal. The portal lights up, prompting Emil to grab Lucifer, and quickly fly through it. They come out on the other side in God's portal room.

"Alright, let's get to her office. Hopefully, she's in there." Lucifer rushes out of the room with Emil in tow down the ridiculously bright, white hallways.

Once they reach the room, Lucifer pushes the door open, slowly, hesitation evident in her actions. As the door opens, a blinding light temporarily disorients her vision, causing her to block it out with her hand. When she regains sight, she sees God sitting in her office chair behind her desk, turned around, and watching out the window, with her right-hand man, Jerry, and her lover Ferdinand on either side of her.

God turns around to face them, a smile on her face, "Are you ready to end this, Luci?"

Luci walks forward, standing in front of her desk, "I'm more than ready. To Heaven with Dracula. We can't fight each other. We need to fight together."

Ferdinand suddenly speaks up, "It's my fault. It's because he and I got into an argument."

Emil shakes his head at this, "It's not your fault, my friend. He's always been prejudiced against angels."

"I tried to talk some sense into him, but he wouldn't listen and he cast me out to Heaven," Ferdinand explains to them.

Lucifer nods, "I see. I wasn't aware of this."

"It seems like there's a lot of things Dracula has been hiding from you, lately. Right, Emil?" She offers him a sly smirk, causing him to look away, guilt-ridden.

Luci looks confused, her gaze darting between them, "What do you-

A loud explosion interrupts her and causes the ground to violently shake.

"We don't have time for this." God stands up from her chair, walking around her desk to stand across from the dark lord. "We need to start up the portals."

"I'll do it!" Jerry quickly offers, prompting God to nod in agreement.

"Just be careful."

Jerry flies out of the room, and down the hallway.

God offers her friend a smile, "We know where the reapers are going to attack next."

"You do?" Luci questions her, "How? And where??"

The angel simply brushes her off, before explaining, "They're teaming up with the elves. Jingles is leading them. They're planning to attack Purgatory."

"Damn you Jingles." Satan complains, before saying, "This isn't going to be an easy battle..."

Ferdinand lets out a disheartened sigh, drawing everyone's attention to him, "I wish we could just make peace with them."

God sets a gentle hand on his shoulder, offering him a sad smile, "I know, I wish that we could, too. But they refuse to listen to us."

"They're rabid," Satan explains to him, "Especially Jingles."

"I know... Maybe if I was a better Prime Minister.."

God gently pats his shoulder, as Lucifer tries to comfort him, "You're a great Prime Minister, and you're one of the strongest demons in Hell, so don't let this get to you. We need your help on the battlefield."

Emil nods in agreement, as does God, prompting Ferdinand to nod as well, forcing a smile onto his face, "I'll do anything that I can."

God kisses him on the cheek, happily saying, "Your service is much appreciated."

"Ugh, get a room." Comes Luci's disgusted reaction.

The angel shoots her a death glare, "Aren't you due to be married soon??"

Luci waves her off nonchalantly, "Yes, but this is different."

"When are the reapers and elves attacking?" Emil asks, trying to keep the conversation from going any more off-track.

"In two days' time. We'll need to gear up, and talk to Dracula." God explains to them, earning nods from each of them.

The two days pass with everyone picking out their weapons, and finding the strongest armor to protect them in battle. Emil and Ferdinand are able to convince Dracula to team up with the angels and lead Hell's army to Purgatory. God brings her heavenly army as well, and the battle commences.

Several demons fight against a group of grim reapers, setting them on fire, and killing them. A few angels use their bows and arrows to shoot down the tiny elves. God and Lucifer fight among side each other, but they both halt at a familiar voice.

"You can't stop us." Comes a voice from below them. They look down to see a tiny deathbringer, Jingles, "We have more power than you realize."

"Don't make me kill you, Jingles." God threatens him with her diamond mace.

Lucifer glares at him, "What do you mean you have more power now?"

"Oh, you'll see."

"Jingles, stop!!" Ferdinand's voice calls from the distance. He flies over to him and speaks, "We can end this. We can bring peace. If you team up with us, we can all live alongside each other peacefully. Reapers, elves, demons, angels. We can be friends. We can depend on each other."

Jingles clicks his tongue in annoyance, "Ferdinand, you were always so naive. That's what I liked best about you. There can never be peace. We've given up on it. And we intend to end this. TODAY!"

A large box drops from the sky, each side breaking open as it lands, revealing none other than Medusa.

"Everyone, look away from her!" God's voice echoes throughout the battlefield, quickly catching Medusa's attention.

Lucifer sees her moving towards them out of the corner of her eye, "Um, she's coming right for us."

"And you two aren't going anywhere." Jingles throws down two traps at their feet, holding them both in place. "Goodbye."

Medusa comes towards them faster, pulling out a large sword to slash them to pieces.

"Dracula, Emil!" Luci cries out in hopes that they can make it over in time. Both of them hear her and rush towards her, but they're not quick enough.

Ferdinand quickly jumps in front of them prepared to use his demon powers to protect them. He assumes full demon form, his eyes going fully black, as he redirects her power back at her, just as it hits him. It still takes effect, turning both of them to stone at the same time. Dracula and Emil pull the traps apart, as God weeps, hugging onto her stone lover, "Ferdinand, why?!"

Luci puts her hand on her shoulder, offering her a sad look, "I'm sorry. But we've gotta do something and quick. Our armies are being overrun."

"We've lost many good demons," Dracula states, a firm expression on his face, "Ferdinand was a good friend. Couldn't care less about the angels."

Luci shoots him a death glare, causing him to become quiet. "God, can you and Jerry transform into your full celestial forms?"

God wipes the tears from her face, before nodding, "We're going to go all-out?"

"Yes. Emil, Dracula, and I will fully transform as well. We need to kill them all, and capture Jingles." Luci coldly demands, "We have no other options."

"Jerry, come over here." God calls out to him, causing him to rush to her side, "We're going to transform and kill them all."

A look of fear is evident on Jerry's face, "Kill them all? But aren't we angels? Pacifists?"

"They won't stop until they're dead," God explains to him in an angry tone, "Or we're dead. And I can't let good people die."

"Okay, God. I've never killed anyone before.."

Dracula coughs, mumbling, "Fucking loser."

"It's okay, Jerry. It has to be done." God and Jerry begin to transform before going into a full killing spree, killing each and every elf in sight.

Dracula groans in annoyance, "Those damn angels are too bright. I can barely look at them."

Dracula, Emil, and Luci transform into their full demon forms, slaughtering every reaper, not giving them a chance to fight back. After thirty minutes of mass genocide, the 5 of them corner Jingles, beating the shit out of him before capturing him.

After this battle, The Great War ended. Nearly every reaper was slaughtered and many elves died a gruesome death. Jingles was tortured for information in Hell before he subsequently escaped with Santa's help. Angels and demons were on good terms again, and peace finally resumed, but at a great cost.

God sits on a bench in her garden, watching Ferdinand's statue with a smile, and watery eyes, "I miss you so much." She looks down at her stomach, placing her hand on it, "You never got to meet our child, Fernando."

"God, your newest employee has arrived," Jerry calls out to her from a distance, prompting her to carefully stand up, "His name is Rick."

"Thank you, Jerry."

Back in Hell, Dracula and Lucifer were continuously getting into arguments, as Dracula became more arrogant with the amount of power he has. Luckily, they were able to make up, and they set their wedding date, their relationship became stronger than ever.

"Master Lucifer, you called me."

Luci feels her stomach, a sorrowful look in her eyes, "Emil, how would Dracula react if I told him that I was pregnant?"

"Badly," His cold response causes her to sob. Guilt that has been rising in Emil since his chat with Dracula finally breaks him, prompting him to say "Master Lucifer, we need to talk. It's about your throne."

#short story #fantasy #heaven and hell #heaven #hell #fantasy story #comedy #comedy story #fiction #fictional story #demons #lucifer #dracula #emil #ferdinand #god #lance #jerry

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

Text

Alejandro and Emil

"Emil, Lance, can you come to my office?" A distorted voice echoes through the hallways.

The two demons look at each other, before Lance wonders, "Do you think something is wrong?"

Emil's wings have already started to grow from his back, "If she uses that voice, it's probably something important. Let's go."

Lance nods, wings sprouting from his back as well. Emil takes off first, quickly flying through the lava-lit hallway, and landing at the entrance to Lucifer's office. Emil opens the door and enters first, Lance behind him. Lucifer sits at her desk, flipping through some paperwork.

"I'm just gonna commit tax fraud, I think.." She mumbles to herself, not noticing her servants have entered the room.

Emil clears his throat, prompting Lucifer to look up, "Oh, ignore that." She sets her paperwork back down on the desk. "I have a problem that I need help with.

Emil kneels down on the ground, "Anything, master."

Lance has a delayed reaction, but kneels as well, "Yes, master."

Lucifer waves them off, "You don't need to kneel before me." She starts, "At least, not right now."

Lance and Emil both stand once more, as does Lucifer. "Alejandro is selling Demon Dust behind my back again. And what makes it worse is that he's selling to angels. If God finds out, she's gonna have my head."

"So, we need to take care of this quickly." Emil replies with his hand on his chin.

Lance crosses his arms, seemingly annoyed, "I don't understand where he gets all of these drugs."

"He has a lot of plugs that I'm aware of," Lucifer states, "But I use them to distribute my Hellmeth on the side so I can't say anything."

"Hellmeth is how we make a lot of money.." Says Emil.

"And commit tax fraud!" Lance adds, causing Lucifer to glare at him, "I mean, not commit tax fraud."

"Better answer." Lucifer sits back down in her desk chair, crossing her legs, "My orders for you are simple: confiscate his Demon dust, and bring him to Hell Jail. I'll meet him there."

They both reply with, "Yes, master," And exit the room.

"It's safe to assume that he's in Heaven then." Emil starts, deep in thought, "But where in Heaven?"

Lance has pulled out his cellphone, and is pressing buttons rapidly, "He posted on Devilgram about five minutes ago at Club Mythical."

"Well, that makes it easier." Emil's dark wings grow again, "Let's get there quickly."

Both demons take off, flying out of the dark lord's castle, and upwards. They fly through Purgatory, before flying upwards again, finally entering the clouds. After a few minutes of flying through Heaven, they finally land outside of Club Mythical. Several angels gasp and point at them, but they ignore their stares.

"Do you think he's inside?" Lance asks, as he looks around for anyone suspicious.

"There's only one way to find out." Emil walks forward and pays for their entry fee, before entering the club.

The bright lights of the club blind them momentarily, causing them to stop and look around. Loud music blasts through the speakers, and dozens of bodies dance on the dance floor. The whole club is crowded, making this a lot harder. A group of angels push past them, and make their way to the bar.

Lance looks absolutely lost, "I don't even know where to start looking.."

"Well, I don't see him at the bar," Emil starts, scanning the area up and down, "He's either on the dance floor, or in the VIP area."

"I can't go to the VIP area," Lance explains with a worried expression, "Martha would be so upset if she found out."

Emil sighs, but nods at him, "Understood. You look on the dance floor, and I'll check the VIP lounges. We'll call each other if we see him."

"Okay! If not, let's meet outside!"

Emil nods, and they both head off in separate directions, Lance to the overpopulated dance floor, and Emil to the VIP area. The demon walks up the stairs to the Demon's lounge, not seeing any sign of Alejandro, but running into two other familiar faces, surrounded by a group of random men.

"Oh, hey, Emil!" Seabiscuit calls in a cheery tone. She's wearing a skimpy pink dress, with a bunch of men hanging onto her.

Her friend, Jelly Nugget is wearing a short green dress, also surrounded by men, "What are you doing here?"

"Seabiscuit, Jelly Nugget," He bows to each of them, "Have either of you seen Alejandro?"

"Hmm.." Jelly Nugget stops to think for a second, "Didn't we see him pass by here earlier?"

Seabiscuit nods in agreement, "Yeah, I think he went out back."

"Out back? Got it." He starts to walk away as he thanks them. He pushes past the crowd, and finds the back exit, slipping out the door, and into a dim alleyway. A silhouetted figure is leaning against the wall, talking to two angels. "Alejandro, stand down."

The angels shriek and fly away, causing Ale to clench his fists, "Hey, what the hell, Emil! You're scaring off my customers!"

Emil appears behind him, grabbing both of his shoulders harshly, "Master Lucifer wishes for you to stop selling demon dust to angels. She's asked me to bring you to Hell Jail so she can talk to you."

He groans in annoyance, "Ugh, again?" Alejandro frees himself from Emil's grasp, "I've got a better idea, Emil. Now, hear me out."

Emil only raises an eyebrow at him, a questioning look on his face.

"What if we team up?"

"Team up?" Emil questions him, "For what?"

Alejandro crosses his arms, a smirk forming on his face, "If you and me team up, I bet we could form an army and take down my mom. We could be co-rulers of Hell." Ale leans against the wall, "Sounds good, doesn't it? All of that power?"

"I do not-

"I know you're one of the strongest demons in Hell, Emil," Alejandro starts, "Or else my mom wouldn't trust you that much. You're probably stronger than her."

Emil shakes his head rapidly, "Not even possible. Master Lucifer is the strongest demon."

"Think about it, Emil." He stands up, and walks closer to him, an evil glint in his eye, "It's a pretty good deal, isn't it?" He stretches his hand out for him to shake.

The servant thinks for a second, watching him warily, before reaching out and taking his hand.

"I knew you would like my-"

Emil twists his arm, and grabs his other arm, holding them behind his back, roughly, "HEY! What the hell?!"

"I would never betray my master. She's given me too much," Emil explains, tightening his grip on the son of Lucifer, "Besides that, you're much harder to trust than her. You would likely betray me, and have me arrested."

Ale groans in pain, but speaks through gritted teeth, "Dammit, I'll stop selling to angels, just don't take me to Hell Jail."

"I can't defy my master." He takes his phone out and calls Lance, signalling him that he's caught Alejandro. Both demons, and Alejandro fly back to Hell, Alejandro ending back up in his usual prison cell.

"Give me all of your demon dust," Lucifer demands from outside the jail cell, "And you're forbidden from selling it anymore. If I catch you again, I'll send you to Purgatory with Demon Joe."

"Fine, fine, whatever," He sits criss-cross on the floor, pulling bags of demon dust out of his jacket pockets and tossing the bags in a pile on the floor. Once he's cleaned out, he crosses his arms, and glares at Emil, mumbling, "Fucking narc."

Fire flares from Lucifer's body, as she yells at him, "You watch your mouth, or I'll keep you down here. You're lucky Emil caught you before Rick did."

"You guys are no fun," He looks away from them, sulking.

Lucifer sighs, as she steps away from him, "I don't know what to do with that boy." She looks up, meeting Emil's gaze, and taking a step closer to him, "I understand that you caught him?"

"Yes, master," He nods, firmly, "He tried to persuade me to join him in trying to take your throne."

She turns back to yell at him again, "Ale! You're sleeping in there tonight! No food or lava!!"

"Ugh, mom!"

She turns back to face Emil, and smiles, "Thank you, Emil." This time she kneels for him as a sign of respect, "I appreciate it."

Emil watches her with widened eyes, before quickly pulling her to her feet, "Master.. I'm honored, but you shouldn't let anyone see you like that!"

"It's okay, Emil. It was worth it."

#short story #heaven and hell #heaven #hell #fiction #fantasy #fantasy story #comedy #comedy story #emil #alejandro #lucifer

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corrupt-heaven-and-hell · 2 years

Text

The Corruption of Heaven and Hell

Part Five

Prologue Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

"Angel Zee and Demon Joe, what do you think you two are doing??"

The two men continuously fervently mop the floors and walls of Alejandro's room, leaving dirty mop water in their wake. Alejandro watches them with narrowed eyes while he holds his small daughter, affectionately named Slave, in his hands. Alejandro lets out an annoyed sigh, turning towards Lance, "Can you just get rid of them already? They've been at this shit for at least two hours now."

"Y-yes! Of course!" He offers him a confident smile, before turning away and mumbling, "Even though Emil is better at scaring people away..."

"Can you do it or not?"

"Yes! Just take Slave away from here while I yell at them. I don't want her to get scared by how mean I can be," Lance sounds more like he's trying to convince himself more than he's trying to convince Alejandro.

Alejandro doesn't seem very impressed by this but he just shrugs, "Yeah, whatever you say man. Come on, Slave. Let's go watch Fernando do some sick tricks." He walks away carrying his half-human half-demon daughter in his arms.

Lance takes a few steps inside of Alejandro's room, clearing his throat in preparation for his shouting, "ANGEL ZEE AND DEMON JOE QUIT MOPPING RIGHT NOW!!!"

This attempt proves useless as the men just continue mopping without even acknowledging his presence.

"Um, guys? Did you not hear me?" No response, just more mopping, "They're too focused. What would snap them out of it?" He holds his finger against his chin in thought for several seconds, "What was Angel Zee's wife's name again...? Uhh, oh right!" He clears his throat again, loudly announcing, "Angel Zee, Mopina is upset at you and she wants to talk to you right now!"

They both finally quit mopping and Angel Zee turns to face Lance with a look of worry on his face, "ZOMG, really?? Why is she upset at me?? Dx I didn't do anything wrong!!"

"ROFL, you totally did something XD," Demon Joe taunts his best friend, "I'm totes gonna invite her out to a nice Denny's dinner while she's mad at you lolol."

"Omg Demon Joe, that's not even funny Dx."

Lance watches them argue back-and-forth trying his best to understand their ridiculous dialogue. Demon Joe and Angel Zee have been best friends for a long time, and for some reason, they're obsessed with mopping and having mopping competitions. They have very similar personalities and are always seen together, however, one is an angel and one is a demon. They're both average looking guys, who look more human than anything else. They're both constantly getting in trouble but it doesn't stop them from mopping wherever and whatever they want.

Lance lets out a long sigh as he thinks back to the day that Mopina came into the two men's lives.