cisgirltransboy
Dating a Trans* Dude
I'm Sarah and I'm dating a really rad guy named Seth, so that's cool.
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Transphobia, biphobia and homophobia aren’t always overt and obvious. Our Another Perspective flips typically transphobic, biphobic and, homophobic phrases on their head.
Originally created in 2010, Another Perspective went viral online, getting international attention with over 100,000 shares across social media and over 1,000,000 views worldwide.
We’re very proud to relaunch this campaign, and once again be challenging transphobia, biphobia, and homophobia LGBT people experience on a daily basis.
This campaign was 100% written, designed, and made by gender diverse and same sex attracted young people at Minus18, check it out here!
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Variations in Gender Dysphoria
Cassandra has made a useful infographic that can be used to understand the nuances of gender dysphoria. It helps gender variant people understand that there are several sides to dysphoria, and that each and every one of them may vary in strength.
The infographic was originally inspired by this article by Darah Hoofman-Fox.
In our recent study of gender variance, we found that 59% of the respondents reported some kind of dysphoria. This also applies to crossdressers and crossdreamers. 30% reported strong or severe dysphoria.
See also Crossdream Life discussion!
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Nobody told me these things were going to happen.
Now I have sooooooooo many ideas…
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Gotta love parents who love their kids and also have a sense of humor. “Tidy your room.”
"In today’s Australian Courier Mail, the Bogert family issued this awesome birth announcement by way of a ”retraction.” The announcement, which has since gone viral, exemplifies the right way to embrace your transgender child.” Read the rest of the story here.
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General Resources
Although we have a list of resources on our main page (as well as a booklist, FAQ, and links to all of our original articles arranged by topic), we thought we’d put together a quick list of resources on popular topics we’ve recently gotten questions about.
Binding- Binding: Creating a Male-Looking Chest, Chest Binding 101, Everything You Need to Know About Binders and Binding, How to Measure For a Binder, Help! Binding 101 for Big Chests
Coming Out- Resources for Parents from TransYouth Family Allies, PFLAG’s Welcoming our Trans Family and Friends, Coming Out To Parents As Trans, How to Deal with Parents Who are Not Accepting, When A Parent or Parents Can’t Accept Your Identity (video), Questions Parents May Ask When Coming Out, "And I Do Mean All My Life": A Trans* Coming Out Letter (great sample coming out letter), Coming Out to Professors
Testosterone- FTM Testosterone Therapy Basics, The Risks and Dangers of Illegal Testosterone, Trans Men and Testosterone Self-Injection Techniques (video), How to Inject Testosterone (video), How to Start Testosterone -or- Where Do I Begin?, Testosterone and Pregnancy Risk, Testosterone and the Trans Male Singing Voice, Androgel Q&A, Common Myths About Medical Transition, Overcoming Injection Anxiety Part 1, Overcoming Injection Anxiety Part 2
Misc- General Advice for Figuring Out Your Gender Identity and Transition Path, How to Correct People’s Name and Pronoun Slip-Ups, Doubts, Decisions, and Detransition, Trans On the Job Part 1, Trans on the Job Part 2, How to Love and Support Your FTM Partner or Your SOFFA as an FTM, Skin Care for the Transitional Male, Workouts to Promote a More Masculine Figure, Top Surgery Masterpost
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This is so true. Three-ish years into the right pronouns and sometimes I'm still weirded out.
Is it normal for masculine pronouns to be kinda weird at first? I just came out to a few close friends who immediately switched pronouns for me which is amazing and I like hearing it but it still takes me a moment to realize they're talking about me when they say "him" is that normal?
Zak: Yup, I think it’s common to take some time to adjust to new pronouns (and a new name for that matter) and for it to feel totally normal.
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And for those of you who are more visual. Here are some comic representations of dysphoria and/or pieces of it.
From top to bottom:
Becoming Me
Transgirl Next Door
Manic Pixie Girl
GQUTIE
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The U.S. Department of Education’s recent declaration that Title IX applies to trans students has clarified trans rights in education. This graphic shows just a few, but you can learn more here.
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Thanks so much to everyone who completed my survey! It will be open for a few more days, so if you know someone who might be interested, send this post their way.
#transgender#transman#transwoman#research#psychology#transguy#transgirl#relationships#soffa#trans partners
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The Tucking Masterpost (Please signal boost!)(TW for discussion and some images of genitals)
Hi! Are you a CAMAB transfeminine person who’s sick of only ever seeing resources for CAFAB trans people on your dash? Are you just coming out to yourself and struggling with Peak Dysphoria? Are you a CAFAB trans person who wants to support the people above? Then here’s a post for you!
This is a post about tucking!
Wait Erika, what the fuck is a tuck?
Glad you asked! For those who don’t know, tucking is a technique for achieving a flat groin area. It’s a time-honored tool of CAMAB trans feminine people but, unfortunately, the tradition doesn’t seem to have been communicated very effectively to the current generation.
So what’s the point of tucking?
Tucking has lots of awesome benefits! These include:
Being able to wear pants & shorts marketed to women more comfortably
Seeing yourself with a flat front often reduces dysphoria (it did for me!)
Referring to the previous bullet, it is one of the easiest ways to lessen your dysphoria when you’re still closeted, since you can wear a tuck under your normal pants/shorts and no one has to know
It can help us reduce some of the risk of being outed in public
Oh neat. How do I tuck?
The basics of tucking goes like this:
Push the testicles up into the inguinal canals
Pull the rest of the junk between the legs
Secure the arrangement with very tight underwear (or some other method)
Wait wait wait… What the hell is an inguinal canal?
Alright, so…. this is gonna require some body exploration on your part if you can stomach it. Basically, the inguinal canals are little tunnels in your pelvis above the testicles. If you push your testicles directly up into your body from their resting position, they should slide pretty neatly into the inguinal canals.
Yeah… this is what the TW was mostly for. Sorry, but the visual is helpful.
Ok…. So how do I secure it all in place?
Ok so first thing’s first: do not use tape. A lot of tutorials online (particularly ones for and by drag queens) recommend using tape, but that shit hurts and it’s super unnecessary!
Instead you need two things:
A tight pair of panties (preferably more, so you can do this frequently without wearing the same undies every day)
Control briefs
…. Control briefs?
I know, I know, so many new words tonight! Ever heard of Spanx products? They’re mainly marketed to cis women for “tummy control”, but they have another awesome use as well - tucking! Here’s an example at Target.com (you should be able to find them at any store that sells women’s underwear, but if you’re afraid to go buy them in the store that pair is pretty cheap and you can order it online if you’re in the U.S.)
If you get the right size of control briefs (I would recommend buying a size down) they should fit very snugly over your junk. To hold your tuck in place, simply hold it between your legs, pull up your undies all the way, and pull the control briefs over them. Assuming you’ve pulled everything up as much as possible and kept everything tucked between your legs correctly, you should now have a snug and smooth tuck! Congrats!!!!!!
But wait, I can’t get that stuff! What do I do???????
Hey, that’s ok! Couple of ideas here:
Get a pair of tights (possibly old ones from a friend) and cut off everything but the stretchy part at the top. Congrats! Those are basically control briefs (albeit kinda messy ones)
Contact me and I’ll try to get you a pair of those control briefs from Target (if you live outside the US im sure we can find another website)
Ok…. So is there anything I should worry about with the tuck?
Unfortunately, yeah - mainly discomfort. Here’s a few ways discomfort occurs when tucking and how to avoid it:
Tucking with the inguinal canals can be painful at first. I spent weeks practicing using them before ever getting my first tucking materials. If the pain is too unbearable for you, dom-the-destitute suggests just tucking everything back and continuing from there.
After a few hours of tucking (varies depending on how active you are) things are probably gonna start to feel a little out of place. Part of the prevention here is practicing lots to get as tight a tuck as possible. Other than that, it’s something you’ll have to get kind of used to dealing with - I usually excuse myself to the bathroom when a tuck becomes too uncomfortable and fix it in the stall.
After even more hours you’re going to feel a pretty general aching. Much as people who bind shouldn’t do that for too long, you shouldn’t tuck for too long at once. Usually 4-8 hours (again, depending upon activity level as well as experience) is gonna be all you can stand before getting some longer lasting aching. I don’t know if there’s any long-term harm that can occur from tucking too long, but it’s best if you’re not the first to find out.
Generally I find that more & longer pubic hair can cause discomfort and generally make your tuck less effective. Definitely look into shaving down there, or at least trimming up a little bit if you don’t already (I’m not going to go into details about pubic shaving but send me a message if you need help in that department).
Congrats! You now know how to tuck! Go get those cute white capris you saw at Macy’s the other day and ROCK that shit!
If you have any questions or need additional help, feel free to send me an ask. If you have any additional suggestions to add to this post, please go ahead and reblog it with comment or send me a message about it!
Wikihow also has a good article on the topic to check out for some more visuals! (Make sure to skip to the “Tuck without Tape” section)
Please, make this post as popular as possible. CAFAB trans folks all have so much info about binding, but so many CAMAB trans feminine folk don’t know about tucking and could use the info!
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Media Outlets Have Promoted “Urban Myth” About Restroom Sexual Assault In Trans-Inclusive Jurisdictions. According to Gay Star News’ Jane Fae, transphobic bathroom myths have been promoted by news outlets that fail to fact-check unsubstantiated stories about alleged sexual assaults
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Our buddies at FTM magazine have the best buttons
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Over 18? Trans? In a relationship? Or cis but dating someone who is trans? Take this survey!
This is your chance to actively shape the direction queer research is going. I am an undergraduate psychology student working on a summer grant project and I see this research as having a positive impact on trans(*) communities in terms of creating a better place for queer research in academia. The survey should take around 20-30 minutes and your opinions are crucial!
If you are over 18, involved in a relationship, identify as transgender or have a partner who does, click through to access the survey.
Please only take survey once to preserve integrity of results.
Questions? Email Sarah Bussen at [email protected]
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This is your chance to actively shape the direction queer research is going. I am an undergraduate psychology student working on a summer grant project and I see this research as having a positive impact on trans(*) communities in terms of creating a better place for queer research in academia. The survey should take around 20-30 minutes and your opinions are crucial!
If you are over 18, involved in a relationship, identify as transgender or have a partner who does, click through to access the survey.
Please only take survey once to preserve integrity of results.
Questions? Email Sarah Bussen at [email protected]
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Resources for Family and Friends of Trans* Individuals
I have recently gotten a lot of questions about how to move forward with family and friends who are less than supportive of trans* individuals. So I went online and compiled a list of online resources and books that I felt would be good. Resources and communication have proven to be the best way to help people understand in my experience. I have also included some children’s stories in this list. I hope this will help!
Online Resources
https://www.genderspectrum.org/
http://www.transactiveonline.org/index.php
http://www.transyouthequality.org/index.html
http://www.imatyfa.org/
http://sillyolme.wordpress.com/advice-to-parents-of-transkids/
http://www.imatyfa.org/resources/parents/
http://transparenthood.net/
Books
Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
Helping Your Transgender Teen: A Guide for Parents
True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism — For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals
Gender Born, Gender Made: Raising Healthy Gender-Nonconforming Children
Trans-Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People
Transgender 101: A Simple Guide to a Complex Issue
Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not
Raising My Rainbow: Adventures in Raising A Fabulous, Gender Creative Son
Trans Forming Families: Real Stories About Transgendered Loved Ones
Two Spirits, One Heart: A Mother, Her Transgender Son, and Their Journey to Love and Acceptance
Jacob’s New Dress (children’s story)
My Princess Boy (children’s story)
Be Who You Are (children’s story)
Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, or Questioning Son or Daughter
When Kayla Was Kyle (children’s story)
Transitions - A Guide to Transitioning for Transsexuals and Their Families
10,000 Dresses (children’s story)
Wandering Son (manga)
Mom I Need to be a Girl
William’s Doll (children’s book)
Mother Talk Conversations with Mothers of Lesbian Daughters and FTM Transgender Children
I’m Your Daughter, Too: The true story of a mother’s struggle to accept her transsexual child
Supporting Transgender and Gender Creative Youth: Schools, Families, and Communities in Action (Gender and Sexualities in Education)
My Daughter, My Son: An Adolescent’s Gender Transition Experienced by Mother and Child
All I Want To Be Is Me (children’s story)
I Am Jazz (children’s story)
When Kathy Is Keith (children’s story)
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