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chan-gbinsimp · 11 months

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swinging | kakashi hatake x male reader

A new member of Konoha opened up an art shop in the village. Coincidentally, he managed to open Kakashi's heart up to parts of himself that he didn't know existed at the same time.

requested

word count: 6.4k (damn!)

reblogs and comments are always appreciated:)

a/n: it has been a while, hasn't it? I'd say I normally don't take this long for fics, but it turns out my writing speed and the flow of my creative juices has decreased substantially since the last time I did it consistently. the length of this one doesn't help either (I got really carried away><). either way, I hope it was worth the wait! and I'll be trying to get out the rest of the requests at a faster rate, now that I have a little more time on my hands.

another little note for the story! "geijutsuka-sama" is essentially "mr. artist!" or at least that what I hope it is. finally, enjoy!

It’s no secret that Kakashi had a reputation as a loner around Konoha.

As much as the man was highly revered by many, he was an enigma, and most people simply gave up on trying to understand him. He was powerful, he was reliable (when he needed to be), and he was a loner. Simple as that.

It’s due to this simple fact, however, that whispers were shared between the old ladies in the village over tea, students during break time, and shinobi during quiet moments on missions. The whispers started from a handful of observant people, and multiplied as time went on, blanketing the entire village in the sound like cicadas do trees on a warm summer’s night.

It wasn’t easy to decipher the original meaning of the whispers, as each stream of sound differed in word choice and subtle meaning. Some claimed of a passionate night between two lovers, while others did of a newly blossomed friendship.

Funnily enough, the truth behind the whispers was rather simple.

It was that Kakashi was fucked.

Utterly, irrevocably fucked.

The man himself realized this one night as he laid in bed, reviewing the events of the day. That night was a particularly mind blowing one, as it was the one in which he realized that he had a crush on you.

________

It all started when you opened your shop.

Kakashi had gotten back from a fairly simple mission, and decided to go on a walk for no particular reason. Guy had decided to do the same, and the two ended up walking together. The walk coincidentally happened on the same night that you were finishing up the preparations to open your art shop. You’d cleaned up the fresh canvas you called a rusty hut, and painted it until it was filled with artworks on display and ready to be sold. On the counters there were paintings, pottery, wood carvings, jewelry, and even some of your own writings.

Guy, being the social Mothra that he is, heard of the new development and wanted to check it out asap. Unluckily for Kakashi, who was rather antisocial in comparison to his walking partner, he was dragged along to see the shop.

It was late evening, when most street vendors and shops had closed, and bars began taking their place. The streets were silent, except for a handful of drunken men, and illuminated only by a few lamps and the brightness of the full moon. The air was crisp with cold, which Kakashi would’ve been appreciating, had he been allowed to enjoy it alone.

Yet there he was, approaching a small hut that was rather secluded, and would’ve hardly been visible had the street been as busy as it was during midday. It was a clearly old building, with the wood of the supports splintering and roof having the appearance of one that wouldn’t survive a single stormy night, but it was cleaned up nicely. The wood was newly painted, windows replaced, plants draped over the walls in a way that made it seem like the building was growing them. The main shop seemed to be inside the hut, but there was a section outside with tables that displayed a few of the artworks.

Kakashi just about finished taking in the building, when Guy’s voice snapped him out of his haze.

“Hello there! How are you this fine evening, sir?” He exclaimed in a tone that was far too energetic for such a dark and quiet night. Luckily, you didn’t seem to mind.

Kakashi watched as you came out from behind the hut, wearing an apron and disheveled. Strands of your hair stuck out in various directions, some of it clumped together by what appeared to be paint and clay, and your hands and clothes were covered in dust and various art supplies. You said something back to Guy, but Kakashi hardly noticed because he was too busy looking at your face.

He’s… smiling. He’s smiling?

As much as he loved the man, Kakashi couldn’t handle Guy’s eccentricity at times. You, however, seemed overjoyed to be greeted by a stranger in the middle of the night. In fact, it was like your face glowed in the moonlight, and your hair was illuminated by the lamp near your head. Like a halo, he thought absentmindedly.

He didn’t notice you were talking to him, until Guy lightly jabbed his side.

He blinked.

“Oh, you’re talking to me.” He didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t heard what you’d said, what you and Guy were talking about, and what the appropriate response was. More than anything, he was a bit embarrassed at being caught looking at you so intently. Luckily, you said something for him.

“I know I’m not half bad, but I don’t look that good covered in all this dirt, do I?”

Maybe unluckily, actually.

Kakashi felt his face heat up more than it did when he read the most erotic of the Icha-Icha novels, and his brain short-circuited just a bit.

“Ah– that’s uh… My apologies for staring. I didn’t mean anything by it— not to say that you’re unattractive in any way, of course! You’re a very attractive man! I just wasn’t staring with any particular intention, is all.” Kakashi chose to stop before he said anything more embarrassing, if that were even possible.

Guy was staring at him with an incredulous expression that would’ve made Kakashi tease him, had it not been directed at his foolishness. The same couldn’t be said for you.

“I get it! Guess I shouldn’t have assumed you swung that way, yeah?” You chuckled halfheartedly, looking substantially less happy than prior to when Kakashi spoke. He internally berated himself, but your words couldn’t help but make him think.

Yeah, I don’t swing that way. Do I swing that way? I guess I haven’t really thought about it. I’ve never really thought about it for women either, but I just knew. Surely, if I were attracted to men too, I would’ve noticed by now as well. Then again, how can I know for sure?

Getting caught up in his thoughts, Kakashi forgot to respond, and you opted for a change in topic.

“Anyways, I think I’m done setting up! If you gentlemen don’t mind, could we continue this conversation tomorrow? I’d like to sleep early before opening day” you suggested more than said, clearly not wanting to come across as rude, but neither Guy nor Kakashi minded much.

“Well, of course! I’m sure you’ll be overwhelmed with customers tomorrow! In fact, I’ll guarantee it by being your personal walking advertisement!” Guy made sure to end with an exaggerated wink, although Kakashi was sure his words were nothing but.

The rest of the interaction was a blur, and before Kakashi knew it, he was sitting on his favorite tree, basking in the glow of the full moon, and contemplating the burning question in the back of his mind. Although many women had made advances, which he rejected more often than not, never had a man. You were the first to imply anything beyond friendship, and the copy nin wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it. The only thing he was sure of was that his face felt a little bit hotter each time that scene played back in his mind.

________

Kakashi was exhausted.

It wasn’t a difficult mission by any means. At least, not in comparison to the ones Kakashi’s been on in the past, but it left him uncharacteristically worn down as he dragged himself through the village gates. It was already late enough for the sky to be glittering with stars, and for the typically hot air to have simmered down to a refreshing breeze. Kakashi took in a deep breath of the cooling air.

He was contemplating what to make for dinner, if anything, when he heard a soft humming coming from somewhere. Under it was the soft sound of a knife slicing through wood. Kakashi recognized it immediately.

Now, at this point, Kakashi had gotten substantially closer to you over the months you’d been a shop owner in Konoha. The aforementioned whispers were a result of the sudden development of him having a new friend, after all.

The issue with this development, however, was that Kakashi wasn’t quite sure what to do with you.

How long had you sat there, carving away?

He got closer to the now familiar hut and watched as you sat on a log disguised as a chair in front of the store next to a growing pile of wood shavings. You hunched over a palm sized piece of wood in one hand with a knife in the other, bottom lip caught between your teeth in concentration. The light from the lamp next to you was flickering, evidently having been lit for quite some time.

Better question, how long had Kakashi stood there, leaning on a lamppost and watching you?

By the time the copy nin realized he was developing a dazed grin, you’d finally looked up from your artwork and noticed him.

“Kakashi-san! Back from your mission, I see” you smiled and invited him over with a wave, scooting over on your log in case he wanted to sit.

He accepted the invitation and sat on the now empty space, desperately trying to ignore the way his face flushed when his knees and shoulders brushed against yours. Gods, what were you doing to him?

You sat in silence for a moment, Kakashi content with watching you whittle away, and you being content with sitting in his company. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to lean his head against your shoulder.

“Is that a dog?” Kakashi finally spoke up once you’d gotten far enough along in your project for it to have taken refined form.

“It is!” You replied, turning your head to look at the shinobi. You noticed him gazing at the little dog, and held it out closer to him.

“You can hold it, if you’d like.”

Kakashi felt himself tense, albeit accidentally.

“You trust me with it?” He reached out for carving as he spoke, but in a way that felt as though he were holding himself back.

“Of course! We’re friends, aren’t we?”

When the comment did nothing to bring his hand closer, you took his hand into yours and rotated it so his palm faced skyward and placed the figure in his hand. If your touch lingered for a moment more than necessary, nobody commented on it. Kakashi simply couldn’t — not with the way the touch felt like a shock of electricity running up his arm and through his body.

“I.. guess we are'' the shinobi mumbled out the response, and he couldn’t explain why the title made his heart clench unpleasantly. Later, he would know that the inexplicable feeling was one of longing, but for now he directed his focus towards the piece of wood in his hands. He ran his fingers over the grooves you made to mimic the dog’s fur, finding it to be surprisingly smooth, and marveled at the craftsmanship.

“I could teach you if you wanted, y’know.”

Kakashi merely hummed in the way a question mark in a comic book would sound, encouraging you to continue.

“It’s just– I’ve caught you watching me work a couple times. I thought you might be interested in learning s’all” you shrugged.

Kakashi was stunned. He wasn't used to the idea of his hands being used for creation, no. His hands were meant to destroy. To steal. To kill. They brought destruction and pain and death and nothing good came out of his hands. They were stained with blood that would never wash out.

You watched as his hands stilled on the piece of wood and he stared at his hands, as though he were recalling a memory. The air around you suddenly felt slightly charged, making you feel like you shouldn’t break the spell in fear that the electricity would explode somehow. It was silent save for the sound of crickets, but even they died down to fit the mood.

Kakashi broke the silence soon enough.

"I couldn't. I'm… not a very crafty person, you see.” He looked up from his hands and made eye contact with you, but it was as though he were looking somewhere else. Somewhere far away, either in space or time.

Even so, you weren’t one to give up.

"You don't need to be talented to create. Nobody's good at something at the first try.”

That seemed to bring Kakashi back to the present, and he blinked the fog away from his visible eye. He turned his attention back to the little carving, seemingly thinking about your words. You gave him time to think, which Kakashi was eternally grateful for.

Of course, he’d love to learn from you. He admired your artworks and the passion you put into your crafts endlessly. Watching you work and seeing the process of an ugly lump of wood becoming a gorgeous carving, a blank canvas becoming a breathtaking painting, or a lump of clay becoming an intricate piece of pottery, had undoubtedly become one of his few pastimes. To learn how to do the same — to be there next to you, just like now, talking to you, and spending more quality time with you — sounded like a dream.

But he couldn’t quite shake off the hesitation at allowing himself to indulge in such pleasures. The idea of getting closer to you, as incredible as it was, scared the shinobi. Besides that, trying to imagine himself doing something with a knife besides stabbing and slicing and covering it and himself with blood — it scared him.

You seemed to notice his internal conflict, and tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. It was such a soft touch Kakashi nearly didn’t notice it in his daze, but it grounded him more than he would've liked to admit.

“You don’t have to decide anything now, Kakashi-san. Take all the time you need. I’ll be right here by your side, for as long as you accept me to be.”

You smiled at him when he looked up to meet your eyes again, and Kakashi felt the familiar tug in his heart again.

For the first time, Kakashi didn’t ignore the feeling. Even as you gifted him the little dog and he thanked you endlessly for it, even as he walked through the cold streets of Konoha on his way home, and even as he laid alone in the cold bed, covered in cold sheets, did he allow himself to be enveloped in the warmth of the feeling that you elicited deep inside of him.

And it was that night that he laid in bed, holding the little wooden dog to his chest, that he allowed himself to think. He thought about how your mere presence was enough to make the exhaustion from the day a thousand times more bearable, and what implications it carried for his relationship with you. Or, his desired relationship with you. Would he have felt the same had it been anyone else? His friends? Acquaintances? Students? Does he want to feel the same with anyone else?

What if, when you handed the carving to him, you didn’t pull your hand away? What if, while he was watching you work, he acted on his impulses and did lay his head on your shoulder? What if, instead of you calling him “Kakashi-san” you called him the pet names he read so often in his novels? Baby? Darling? Sweetheart? My love?

The result was Kakashi nearly melting into his bed with how heated his face became, and ultimately being forced to concede.

I have a crush on him. I have real, romantic feelings for him. I want to hold his hand and hug him and maybe even kiss him a little. I want him to put down the honorifics and call me stupid nicknames like baby or sweetheart. Holy shit.

It was safe to say he got little sleep that night, but the sleep he did get differed from the ones that led to rude awakenings covered in cold sweat. For the first time, his dreams were filled with soft touches and smiles and so much affection that left him wanting more in the morning.

________

Nearly a year had passed since Kakashi realized his feelings for you, and he hadn’t made much progress. He did manage to get you to drop the honorifics, so he’s been upgraded to “Kakashi” status, but that was about it. Not that he’s complaining, of course. How could he possibly complain about his relationship with you when you let him into your personal friend circle?

Is what he would have said had it not been for Iruka Umino.

Now, he had nothing against the teacher. He was good at his job — great, even — and Kakashi could even say he had a positive opinion of the man due to how much he looked out for Naruto during his childhood.

That was before he noticed your closeness with him.

Kakashi didn’t get jealous often. He liked to think he was a master at keeping a level head and observing all relationships and situations with an objective eye (pun intended), but it appears that his ability to do so took a quick trip out the window when it came to you.

He’d make time out of his week to spend time with you, whether it was after a mission, lesson, training, or getting groceries, and it quickly became one of his favorite times of the week. Unfortunately, there were moments when said times went sour.

He noticed you started getting closer to the teacher after he stopped by your shop one day, and more often than not, you were talking to him while working on something. It wasn’t a bother the first few times, but it became a problem when you said you couldn’t talk or have a drink because you were busy. With Iruka. At your shop. On the log that Kakashi was supposed to be sitting on.

Today was one of those days. Having successfully convinced Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke to train without him, he had the day free, and wanted to spend it with you. He hopped over to your shop over rooftops, but stopped on the building across from yours when he noticed you were with Iruka again.

Rather than jumping in and trying to make small talk with you, as he usually does, he watched how the two of you interacted from behind a copy of Icha-Icha. Iruka was sitting next to you on a separate log — something Kakashi appreciated much more than he would’ve liked to admit — while you were busy at work creating a pile of wood shavings at your feet. You would stop once in a while to show him what you were working on, and continue when the teacher nodded in what appeared to be approval. The copy nin frowned when he made your shoulder brushed after he made you laugh, and you playfully hit his shoulder.

Then, the atmosphere changed. Became more charged. Your body deflated and your wrists went limp, letting go of the wood and knife, and Iruka took your hands into his. He shifted his position until he was able to meet your eyes, and even from a distance was Kakashi able to make out the furrow in your brow. Kakashi watched with a careful eye as Iruka leaned in, and you leaned in, and your hands stayed connected, and something was surely about to happen, when—

“Kakashi-sensei! What’re you looking at?”

His vision was filled with a blur of orange, pink, and dark blue, and suddenly Kakashi knew how it felt when Naruto tried so desperately to get a glimpse of his face.

“Wha– hey! I thought you guys were training!”

The three stood in front of him, and the entire group had shared knowing looks painted on their faces. Even Sasuke replaced his typical brooding expression with a slightly smug one.

“Why were you looking at geijutsuka-sama like that? Hm? Hmm? Hmmmmm??” Naruto dragged out the hum while wiggling his eyebrows until Sakura rolled her eyes and hit him to stop.

“We know you like him, Kakashi-sensei” Sakura had her hands on her hips, looking extremely proud of her deduction.

“What are you guys on about? I don’t like anyone.”

“Liars get stitches, sensei!”

“It’s ‘snitches get stitches,’ idiot.”

“Potato, potahto, either way he’s totally lying! You totally like geijutsuka-sama, we all know it!”

“That’s right! Why won’t you just admit it?”

“I’m not admitting anything because there’s nothing to admit. I don’t have romantic feelings for anyone.”

Naruto and Sakura stilled. They then shared a look that consisted of waggling eyebrows and eyerolls, and ended in mutual stoic expressions.

“I guess that’s a shame, then” Sakura began, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, ‘cause we all know that he likes you a ton too!” Naruto picked up, crossing his arms also.

“Even you could figure it out, it’s so obvious” Sasuke finished with an eye roll.

Kakashi blinked.

He what? No, that couldn’t be. He’s clearly already in a relationship with Iruka. I can’t believe them, they’re just kids. Don’t get your hopes up. You’re just friends.

“He does?”

Hopeful. Undoubtedly, he sounded hopeful.

The moment the words escaped his lips, he regretted it. Naruto’s grin morphed into the largest smile he’d ever smiled, Sakura’s smugness seemed to only intensify, and Sasuke’s additional eye roll told Kakashi everything he needed to know.

Gods, they know.

Kakashi pocketed Icha-Icha and sighed. He could feel his face go hot.

“Fine. I do… have feelings. For him.”

The effect was immediate.

“Then you should confess! Let’s do it now! He’s right over there, and he’s about to close his shop too, it’s the perfect time!” Sakura tugged on Kakashi’s hand and pointed at you, who was still with Iruka.

You weren’t holding hands with him anymore, and you were smiling. A stark contrast to the gloomy atmosphere from the last time he saw you. You were using sandpaper now, indicating that your project was coming to an end. Iruka said something. You laughed. You shone.

Kakashi’s heart retracted into itself.

“Calm down and look at them.”

It was as though his voice were a kunai slicing through the air. The students went silent and opted for listening, turning to take in the sight of you with their old teacher.

“They’re clearly in a relationship. I couldn’t, also shouldn’t, intrude on it with my own feelings.”

There was a moment of silence, rare for the group, until–

“You really are blind.”

Sasuke’s voice pierced through the silence, making Kakashi’s visible brow lift.

“Isn’t taking in your surroundings one of the most basic things a ninja should do? Look at what he’s making. It’s Pakkun. Something related to you, sensei. What could it be if not a gift for you?” Sasuke turned to face Kakashi, rolling his eyes once more.

“Stop jumping to conclusions and ask him directly. I’m getting tired of you pining after him and these idiots making me care about it.” He nods his head towards Naruto and Sakura, both of whom looked ready to push a mountain in protest.

“Are we done here? I’d like to do something valuable with my time.”

Another moment of silence. The back and forth between speaking and thinking was akin to the blinking of fireflies in the night, or the on and off buzzing of cicadas, but the entire group could sense that it was over.

A nod was all it took. The group left Kakashi alone to go god knows where (likely to spy on Kakashi during his attempt to confess), and Kakashi willed his heart to stop attempting to escape the jail cell of his ribcage.

He took a moment to observe you once more. The shop was evidently closed now, with the only light being a lamp sitting on the table next to where you stood. You were sweeping up leftover wood shavings from earlier, humming along to something only Kakashi could hear if he strained his ears. Your movements were fluid — graceful, even, with muscles moving in a way that only could with years of practice with this particular action.

He couldn’t help but think you were beautiful.

He took a deep breath, steeled his will once more, and jumped down from the rooftop.

“Evening.”

With that simple greeting, you ceased your humming and looked up from the shavings on the ground. Your lips were turned up in a smile, and Kakashi felt a blossom of warmth bloom in his chest at the sight.

“Kakashi! I thought you weren’t coming by today.” You set the broom against the front door and stepped closer to the shinobi. Kakashi opted for leaning against one of the wooden supports next to him.

“I wanted to come earlier, but I didn’t want to disturb you and your boyfriend.” He lifted his eyebrow and watched for your reaction. Your eyebrows furrowed and your head tilted.

Confusion! That’s good… right?

“I’m not sure who you’re referring to, but I don’t have a partner.”

“Not even Iruka?”

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Iruka-san? Why would you bring him up?”

It was Kakashi’s turn to be utterly flabbergasted.

“You don’t see it?”

You simply shook your head in response.

“He’s been here nearly every day for weeks, and you always seem brighter when you’re around him. You’re always smiling and laughing at — what does he say that makes you so happy, anyway? Not only that, but I’ve seen you holding hands with him multiple times!”

“Are those all the requirements of being a couple?”

“Sorry?”

“Spending time together nearly every day, smiling and laughing together, holding hands — are those the requirements of being a couple?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say requirements, but they’re very romantic things to do. Most people who do them are probably together, aren’t they?”

“I guess that means we’re only one step away from probably being a couple, then?”

At that, Kakashi choked on air. Not his most graceful moment, but he believed his reaction was justified. As he settled down from his coughing fit, you seemed entirely unphased at the implication of your words, simply standing in front of him with your arms crossed and a slight smirk on your face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, I’m glad you asked, Kakashi! Let’s think for a moment, shall we?” You took a few sweeping steps to get even closer to him. You stepped closer and closer until Kakashi had nowhere to go between the wooden pillar and your body. His back straightened.

“Who else, besides Iruka-san, comes by the shop nearly every day?” You lighty jabbed a finger at Kakashi’s chest with a soft thud. The impact felt equivalent to a fly landing on his arm with all the protection his vest provided, but the heat that spread from the point of impact outwards was equivalent to the eruption of a volcano.

“And who else, besides Iruka-san, do I laugh and smile with every time I’m near him?” You jabbed him once more, sending another shot of lava through the ninja’s veins.

“W-well, that’s different! I mean—”

“Who else, Kakashi?”

With your finger putting pressure on his chest, and the heat under his skin creating pressure on his brain, Kakashi was helpless to the truth, toppling out of his lips like a wingless bird attempting to take flight.

“Me.”

Similarly to the volcano that erupted under his skin, the grin on your face was instantaneous, and made Kakashi a little more immune to the chill of the night air. Then, you huffed and pulled away from the puddle of blush disguised as the copy nin, turning away.

“With your logic, the only thing we’d need to do to date is hold hands.” You made your way over to the table where the lamp sat, still facing away from Kakashi. He thanked every god in every religion that you weren’t looking at him. It gave him a moment of respite, so he could become his calm and collected self once more (ignoring the fact that he hadn’t been calm nor collected near you in months).

“Anyways, I have a present for you!”

Lo and behold, Sasuke was right.

When you’d turned, your arm was outstretched, and in it was a wood carving of Pakkun that just covered the surface of your palm. He looked as grumpy as he did in real life, just without the disapproving grunts. It was, frankly, adorable.

“You made this for me?” He tentatively reached out for the carving, unsure if he was allowed to touch it or not. When you nodded and encouraged him to accept it with a nudge of your hand, he finally allowed himself to accept it.

It was smooth and soft, likely a result of the sandpapering he saw earlier, and the grooves meant to imitate the look of fur were dull enough to eliminate any risk of being hurt. The time he introduced you to Pakkun and the other ninken made a lot more sense as he took in the detailing on the clothes and his facial expression. You’d had a sketchbook and pencil out the entire time, although you paid equal attention to it and the dogs. You must’ve sketched them out and used it as reference for the carving.

That was months ago.

“Have you been planning this since you first met the ninken?” Kakashi finally looked up from the little piece of wood at you. You, who now sat on the table, leaning back onto your arms, looking proud of yourself.

“No, actually,” your voice floated in the air, as though you didn’t want to break the fragile glass that was the atmosphere. “The sketches I did then were just because I wanted to draw them. The idea to carve Pakkun came from Iruka-san about a month ago.” At that, Kakashi’s eyes widened.

“Iruka?”

You nodded and chuckled, enjoying the confusion on Kakashi’s face.

“I heard about your birthday from Guy. I wanted to give you something, but also wanted to surprise you, and Iruka-san offered to help,” you explained with a cheshire grin.

“I didn’t realize you’d get so jealous.”

“I was not—!”

“I can see right through that skin-tight mask of yours, Kakashi, you’re so obviously jealous!”

“That—”

Kakashi sighed in defeat. After his accusation from earlier, he couldn’t possibly hide his true emotions for longer. He returned his gaze to the little wooden figure in his hands, running a thumb over each and every groove. Funnily enough, it was him that felt like a puppy at the moment. One that was denied a walk, or his favorite treat.

This confession was not going in the direction he planned.

Apparently, his disappointment was far more evident in his expression than he’d thought. You hopped down from the table and stepped in front of Kakashi, lightly placing a hand on the side of his face and lifting it. Your grin took on the form of a soft smile, and there was something in your eyes that made Kakashi feel safe. You were safe. To him, you were like the lamp on the table — a light in the darkness, repelling the cold with your comforting warmth.

How could he possibly confess in a way that would put these feelings to justice? How could he possibly handle the rejection?

“Could you… sit down, for a sec? I want to tell you something.”

You looked confused, but complied anyway. You sat on the table and Kakashi brought the log closer to the table to sit in front of you. The height difference made it so Kakashi’s face was level with your chin — perfect for avoiding eye contact in case this went badly.

Kakashi took one last moment of silence to gather himself. To lasso all the furiously flying thoughts and nerves in his body into a functional state, just for a few minutes. You waited patiently, although the silence did nothing to soothe the nerves now beginning to bubble under your skin.

“Do you remember what you said to me the first time we met?” He looked up to make eye contact with you, a new determination set in his iris. Goosebumps formed on your arms at the intensity.

“I… flirted with you, if I remember correctly.” You hummed in thought and looked away for a moment. “I noticed you looking at me, so I thought flirting was the right move,” you looked back at Kakashi, trying to fight the slight embarrassment at the memory.

“It wasn’t, because you don’t swing that way.”

Kakashi coughed, the sound echoing awkwardly in the silent night.

“You’re right. I don’t swing that way.” Kakashi fidgeted with the Pakkun carving slightly, already getting used to its presence. He would remember your friendship by it, if you decided to end it after hearing his confession. Strangely, the thought comforted him. It also made his eyes feel like they were being assaulted by a thousand microscopic kunai.

“At least, that’s what I thought at the time.”

Your eyes widened. Deciding it was best to get it over with before you came to your own conclusions, Kakashi pressed on.

“I did a lot of thinking since then, and I’ve come to a lot of realizations about myself — about my sexuality. I couldn’t exactly do much exploring when I was young, considering my life story—” he chuckled humorlessly “—but now, I can. I did, and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Me?”

Kakashi nodded, laughing an empty laugh once more, “yes, you.”

“And I know that you won’t feel the same, but—”

It was as though someone were shoving a wad of paper filled with harsh words up his throat. He swallowed thickly to get rid of it, but it only served to embed it deeper into the walls of his throat. He instead tried a deep breath, but that only blew away the dam that held back a stream of tears. He let them fall.

“What I’m trying to say is, I like you. Romantically.”

Kakashi couldn’t handle keeping eye contact with you any longer. He ducked his head down and watched the ground, watching the packed dirt turn dark with tears. What would’ve normally been absorbed quickly stayed on the surface of the dirt for quite some time — likely due to the cold, dark atmosphere.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off by the feeling of your hand on the side of his face. It only sat there for a moment, as though giving Kakashi a moment to adjust to the feeling, before it applied slight pressure to bring his face back to its original position. The ninja could’ve easily resisted, but he felt it in every fiber of his being. He could never resist you.

When your gazes connected once more, Kakashi was shocked to find that you were smiling. A soft smile — similar to the one you had earlier before the beginning of his confession. A smile of comfort and of understanding. A smile that never failed to envelop the ninja in a blanket of safety.

You ran your thumb under his eye, wiping a few loose tears away. Even after his cheek was clean of tears, you continued the movement. A silent message. I’m here. You’re safe.

Kakashi waited for you to make your move.

You moved your hand down to his shoulder, running it down his arm with a feather-light touch. Kakashi naturally brought his arm up to allow you to continue the movement without needing to bend down. You stopped your hand at his wrist — right before it reached his free hand. He couldn’t help the tug on the corners of his lips.

You spoke.

“This is your fifth time here this week, and it’s only Tuesday.”

You ran your thumb against the inside of his wrist. It tickled slightly, but Kakashi didn’t mind.

“We never fail to make each other smile and laugh — even though our sense of humor is horrible.”

As though on cue, Kakashi snorted softly. It was true. The two of you had an entire library full of inside jokes and bad puns that would make all fathers blanch in horror.

“The only thing we’re missing is…”

You slid your hand down a few more inches, finally landing on Kakashi’s gloved palm. You curled your fingers in between his, and he did the same. Your fingers were cold — likely a result of having worked with your hands outside so late at night — but Kakashi didn’t mind the chill. The heat of the interaction was more than enough to make up for it.

“There. We’re officially probably a couple.” You finished with a wider smile than when you began.

Kakashi was at a loss for words. The tears started building up again, but they were different. This time, the paper was covered in good words — words of happiness, contentment, safety, love. This time, the stream flowed freely, because there was no need for the dam.

“Care to make it officially definitely a couple?”

With the wad of paper still stuck in his throat, all Kakashi could do was nod and lean up in an attempt to close the gap between your faces. You giggled, but pulled away at the last second.

“Words, Kashi. I need words.”

With another deep breath, Kakashi rid himself of the cursed paper and cleared his throat just enough to speak once more.

“Yes. I want to officially, definitely, 100% be a couple.” Both of you shared a laugh in the middle of his sentence. Another inside joke to add to the library.

“Good. So do I.”

And with that, finally, finally, did you lean down to meet Kakashi where he left off. His mask was in the way, but neither Kakashi nor you could find it in yourselves to care.

The kiss was chaste — hardly more than an extended peck — but it made both streams of tears turn into rivers. Kakashi wrapped his free arm around your waist and pulled you closer into a half hug, tightening his grip around your hand with it. When you gripped his hand tighter in response, he felt it — the everlasting swinging of his heart becoming in sync with yours. And it was at this point that he knew he would never let it swing in another direction ever again.

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