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the omniscient narrator would like to cast a vote for big jimothy. please and thank you. i may be omniscient, but i still have my manners. good day.
the omniscient narrator who took over this particular narratorâs shift for the day didnât realize we were allowed paid time off for this event, but i mean, okay. send big bird out with a banner that says, âone vote for big jimothy!â
big jimothy - 5
karen - 5
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 5
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a person in a chicken suit riding a razor scooter scoots out of the town hall. wicked moves, dude. he yells, âone vote for big jimothy!â
big jimothy - 4
karen - 5
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 5
#this post is just evidence that anne is a big dumb and answered smth privately instead of posting it lMAO#chelection
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a bodybuilder drags the following sign around town square. in case you donât feel like reading, it says, âvote for big jim.â
big jimothy - 3
karen - 5
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 5
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one vote for netty plzzzzz
holy crap, itâs kendall schmidt from big time-- oh, sike, i think itâs just liam payne. snooze! anyway, i think heâs saying, âone vote for netty knight!â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 5
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 5
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i vote for karen!
a pretty woman somersaults onto town square and releases a handful of confetti as she says, âone vote for karen!â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 5
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 4
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voting for Karen!
the gangly boy is back and is still holding hands with his boyfriend, and theyâre singing, âone vote for karen!â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 4
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 4
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aaron will be voting for karen!!!
tony hawkâ thatâs not tony hawk, itâs just some old dude on a skateboard. whatever, heâs holding a sign that says, âone vote for karen!â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 3
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 4
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Eva and Mari both vote for Netty Knight.
a knight on a horse races across town square, but doesnât say anything. yeah, sure. a tall man pops up from behind a street lamp, yelling, âone vote for netty knight!â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 2
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 4
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one vote for netty knight (this is gup gup/finn)
a ghostly apparition of lighthouse hansel appears behind the next announcer, who says, âone vote for netty knight!â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 2
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 2
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hello, i would like to formally cast my vote for finn nye. but i guess since he isn't formally running, i will cast my vote for karen. thank you.
a woman who resembles mariah carey from the memes, âi donât know her,â walks out and announces, âone vote for karen! plus, all write-ins will be used in a paper mache collage of my face.â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 2
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 1
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i vote for big jimothy *peace signs*
the same gangly boy from before is now holding hands with another boy, both shouting, âone vote for big jimothy!â
big jimothy - 2
karen - 1
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 1
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eddy's vote: netty knight
a robot that has the same voice as wall-e announces, âone vote for netty knight!â
big jimothy - 1
karen - 1
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 1
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sawyer's vote: big jim
a figure draped in a robe, vaguely looking like piper vanis, holds up a sign that says, âone vote for big jimothy!â
big jimothy - 1
karen - 1
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 0
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indy's vote: karen
a gangly boy runs across the town square, yelling, âone vote for karen!â
big jimothy - 0
karen - 1
sasha goldblum - 0
netty knight - 0
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please see chhope updates from chpd below.
good evening, citizens of cape hazel. you may have seen town leadershipâs recent comment about the investigation, and rest assured we are doing are best to resolve the death of ms. hope upton as quickly and unobtrusively as possible. we appreciate past and continued cooperation as we conduct investigations. now we would like to address concerns with several suspects and give them the opportunity to explain themselves:
solomon matua for past unsavory interaction with ms. upton. witnesses from their interaction at the park say it was more unpleasant than he let on. is there a reason he withheld information? @smatua
sawyer phoenix for his connection with both ms. upton and mr. matua. does he have reason to interfere with ms. upton and the family for which she worked? nobody has been able to confirm his and mr. matuaâs alibi either. @rvetheday
harley kane-adams for an interest in ms. upton, even going as far as to sketch her, without interaction or permission and for recent discussion of ms. upton and the accident on social media. what lies behind his fascination with ms. upton? @mechanicvl
fawn lockwood. @fawnlockwood
beatrix jones for her relationships with ms. upton. supposedly âin passing,â but we will continue to investigate the truth behind this relationship, especially given her recent comments on the event on social media. what is her true interest in ms. upton? @beanottrixie
raven de souza for suspicious lack of information during her interview, as well as failure to comply to investigation with courtesy. is there more than meets the eye? why the suspicious behavior? @ravnds
maia king for her close relationship with ms. upton, as well as failure to supply valid alibi. she claims she was very close with the victim, and we would like more information about her relationship with ms. upton. perhaps there is more than meets the eye here as well? @maiaorion
theo babineaux for his disappearance soon after the crime and recent reappearance. he also failed to supply concrete information about his relationship with the victim. where was he? what was his real relationship with ms. upton? @thecdorebabineaux
xiomara diaz claims she has no relationship with ms. upton, but in a small town it seems unlikely that she has never interacted with ms. upton before. her medical knowledge would also be an asset to a homicide. what is she hiding? @itsxicmara
elijah dâangelo for unnecessary aggression during his interrogation. he interacts with her daily, perhaps there is more to their relationship than he cares to say, and perhaps there is a reason for that. would you care to share, mr. dâangelo? @elijahdangelo
-chpd
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@mayorofcapehazel: ATTENTION CAPE HAZEL!!!!! please pardon my absence from the zlog, as i have been in a custody battle with @CHPD. moving forward, they will have control over my blog until the investigation concludes.
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hey how do i apologize to people without like sounding like an ass
as long as youâre taking accountability for your actions in a genuine way, my friend, you will be okay.
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