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Quick little list of fucked up things I've done because my ed is feeling invalid At the moment (TW)
i remember when I was 7 being physically and mentally terrified to eat anything that wasn't healthy
When I was 10 I would walk around the kitchen while I was eating to try to cancel out the calories and work out in my room for 3 hours a day
When I was 12 I would write down everything I ate that day with the specific measurements ( like 3 goldfish )
When I would cook food using vinegar because I was scared of oil
When I ate a pop tart once and walked back and forth in my room for 5 hours to the point where I threw up at my dad's wedding shower
When during the summer I used to go to the neighborhood gym while my family went to the pool
When I was wearing hoodies and sweaters in the middle of summer bc I would sh after a binge
When I would look at my self in the mirror for hours looking for every single imperfection
When I had a walmart bag in my closet of chew and spit that got moldy
When I broke down crying when I got home after sex and sent a paragraph to the guy apologizing if it was horrible and he didn't love me anymore
Anyways hope you enjoyed my random dump
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