Re-watching Book 1 of A:tLA, and it looks like Aang really doesn't like Water Tribe stuff. He doesn't like the food. He doesn't like that they use animal parts for stuff. I understand being proud of your culture but I don't think you should take a holier-than-thou stance against your s/o's culture.
Kataang and Cultural Differences
I’ve been sitting on this ask for awhile, but you’re absolutely right Anon. I’ve thought before about how strange it is that we have a canon couple from two very different cultures, and yet this is never addressed in canon.
I’ll put the rest under a cut since it could get long.
There are two major factors at play that would make this relationship challenging.
Katara’s culture has a very meat based diet, while Aang’s is vegetarian.
Aang’s culture is supposedly non monogamous, while Katara’s is family oriented (going based on Katara and Sokka’s values).
However, we never really see these conflicts addressed. Not even in LoK. For a relationship like this to work, both people have to understand each other’s culture and values deeply.
But don’t just take it from me. I did a little research on what makes cross-cultural relationships work. There are a few points that most resources agree on, which are summed up well in this article:
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/cross-cultural-relationships
The article outlines 4 big things a couple can do to work well in this situation. I’ll go through each one.
1. Understand, respect and compromise
Don't expect your partner to settle seamlessly into your way of life. Even if they're the foreigner and you're the native, you should see the relationship as a merging of cultures rather than that person adopting yours. Respect their differences, learn about them and look at where you might have to compromise to help them feel happy. Relationships should always be about finding a comfortable balance. If one of you isn't making enough effort, then cracks will start to form.
Understand, respect, compromise. Do they? I don’t think so. I think the episode that best demonstrates this is Bato of the Water Tribe. One of the first things Aang says when they enter Bato’s home is “nothing cozier than dead animals” in a condescending way. So right off the bat he’s making insulting remarks about the way Katara’s culture dresses and furnishes, not understanding that this is necessary due to their climate.
There’s also this:
I don’t blame Aang as a character for this one because he’s young and has no way of knowing he’s playing with something ceremonial. But the problem is that the narrative never addresses things like this. Aang demonstrates a lack of understanding of his crush’s culture, and it’s only used as a plot device to make Aang mopey in that episode.
I mentioned above how Katara’s culture has a meat heavy diet while Aang is vegetarian. Well, since they need to compromise in some way, maybe Aang could find something vegetarian from Katara’s culture? That would be a good compromise to bring them together, right Bryke?
Well...
They make a point of showing us, not once, but twice, how disgusted Aang is with Katara’s culture’s food. What are the implications of this in their relationship? Is Katara just never supposed to share her culture’s food with her future family because Aang is either morally opposed or disgusted by it?
(Another note about the food/clothing discussion... consider the real world implications in terms of indigenous cultures. Not great!)
Nothing about this suggests understanding, respect, or compromise to me.
2. Get first-hand experience of each other's cultures
Visit each other's home country, learn one another's language (even if they speak yours) and read up about their religion and cultural history. If you're not interested, why are you with this person? Making the effort to get out there and experience life from their perspective shows that you care and that you want to know them better.
Engaging with the other person’s culture. I already discussed above the issues with food, which is a big way Aang doesn’t really engage with Katara’s culture. But something else jumped out at me.
This scene again. Katara and Sokka have finally been reunited with a friend of their father’s and they are sharing stories about home. Since Aang canonically had a crush on Katara at this point, shouldn’t this interest him? Shouldn’t he want to understand more about the culture of the girl he says he loves?
Bryke didn’t think so apparently. Aang seems to think what they’re talking about is boring, and he runs away when Bato politely asks him to put down a fragile object. That really doesn’t make it seem like he’s eager to engage in her culture to me.
3. Pass on both cultures to your children
The issue of children can be a big one for cross-cultural couples. How do parents from different heritages instil a solid sense of identity in their child? Instead of seeing yours and your partner's separate cultures as two different identities, see your relationship as one. Teach your children about both cultures and explore with them the differences between the two, focussing on how they work together and the positives that can be drawn from both. Rearing your children to be bilingual is also a good idea so as not to alienate one half of your couple.
Oh boy... this one... 😬
Just watch LoK. Just...it’s all right there.
We have Kya:
Who exclusively takes after Katara’s culture because she’s a waterbender.
We have Tenzin and his children:
Who exclusively take after Aang’s culture.
It’s even canon that Aang spent a lot more time with Tenzin that his other two children. Based on what we know about this family, it really doesn’t seem like their children were all raised with education in the culture of both parents.
Ever think about how sad it must have been for Katara to hardly ever see her only grandchildren, and when she does, they are completely cut off from her culture?
Yah that really doesn’t seem healthy to me. Katara was the last waterbender in the Southern Water Tribe. Her family should have valued her culture too, but canon simply doesn’t show us that.
4. Think positively about your differences
Having a different perspective on life is a valuable thing - you have so much to learn from one another. See your differences as a good thing that enhances your relationship, rather than a stumbling block.
Now for the final point. Does anything positive come from Aang and Katara’s cultural differences? I can’t think of any. It definitely wasn’t a positive thing in Bato of the Water Tribe or LoK as I went over in above examples.
But there is one more time Katara’s and Aang’s values are brought into conflict: The Southern Raiders.
Aang is from a pacifist culture. Katara is not. Given the focus of Hakoda and Sokka on being strong warriors, and Katara’s strong desire to use her waterbending to fight, I think it’s safe to say that Katara’s culture is decidedly NOT pacifist.
This drives Katara’s desire to avenge her mother. Katara will inherently view the situation differently than Aang. She wants to confront, not forgive and forget.
But Aang doesn’t recognize this. He insists that she view the situation like he does.
Imagine how hurt Katara would continue to be if she listened to that and kept on repressing her pain.
I won’t get into the conflicting interpretations on this episode too much, because it’s already been discussed in depth. But there are two main opinions to it:
Aang was wrong, and Katara never forgave Yon Rha. The confrontation was necessary to help her gain closure.
Aang was right, and Katara didn’t get her revenge because of his advice.
If we take the first interpretation to be true, then this is a perfect demonstration of Aang continuing to misunderstand the perspective Katara’s culture gives her. The conflict between his beliefs and hers made him unable to provide her with the support she needed to face her greatest trauma. That really doesn’t seem characteristic of a healthy relationship.
If we take the second interpretation to be true, this feeds into the narrative that Aang’s culture is “superior” to Katara’s, which seems to be a theme in a lot of these examples. Is that really a healthy way to portray a cross-cultural couple? That doesn’t sound like celebrating differences to me. It seems like erasing one person’s culture to accommodate the other.
So yes Anon, I agree completely. The narrative does treat Aang’s culture as superior. Aang’s multiple cultural conflicts with Katara are never addressed, and he seems disinterested at best and disgusted at worst by her culture. And this is supposed to be a cutesy romantic situation how?
Kataang was doomed from book 1 and the writers should have just dropped it. When you really get into the cultural implications, especially for Katara, this is a REALLY bad take on a cross-cultural couple.
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Okay, so, like many of the rest of you I too was thrown for a lurch by the dumpster fire in the tags surrounding the latest topic of discourse. This is my best attempt at trying to understand the argument from both sides, which has been difficult and confusing at the best of times, because there’s been so much poisoning of the well, and both sides essentially feel straw-manned by the opposing side.
To the best of my knowledge, there are two sides of this debate - the “Put your shirt on Zuko” side and the “Keep your shirt off Zuko” side (sorry if this is too flippant, just trying to keep things a little light-hearted in all this mess)
The “Put your shirt on Zuko” side initially began by starting an important discussion about racism within the Zutara fandom, and one of the examples they called out as problematic (or potentially problematic?) was the fetishization of Zuko in the (recurring?) NSFW “Shirtless Zuko Sunday” (SZS) theme.
As best as I understand it, the argument goes something like this:
White culture tends to fetishize East Asians, which can have really negative Real Life effects,
This culture has trickled down to include cartoon portrayals of East Asians, including Zuko,
Shirtless Zuko Sunday cannot be separated from this fetishization culture, without which it would likely not have existed in the first place, and
Hence, Shirtless Zuko Sunday is (or can be?) intrinsically problematic.
On top of that, this specific discussion is also something which should be led by the Asians within the fandom, being the ones most affected by racist connotations of fandom culture.
(I sincerely apologise if I have misconstrued this argument, please let me know if I have and I will edit this post accordingly.)
From what I can see, it is point (3) and (5) that sparked debate within the fandom, though obviously for different reasons. Regarding point (3), the counter-argument seems to be that while East Asian fetishization is problematic, finding a character attractive is not necessarily fetishization, and is not in and of itself problematic, and that there is also a meaningful difference between fetishizing a character who happens to be East Asian (which is not racist), vs fetishizing the East Asian features of an East Asian character (which is racist). Both Asians and non-Asians have come out to either defend or argue against this view. From what I can understand, the more nuanced opposition to the argument outlined above is that “racism and race-based fetishization is bad, but SZS was a bad example to use to buttress that argument.”
There were also some ruffled feathers in response to the fact that this debate apparently resulted in the host(?) of SZS quickly becoming the target of harassment and hate. Tensions got high very fast, and I believe that among some parts of the fandom, the narrative morphed from “x tumblr users are using a bad example to support a legitimate argument against fandom racism”, to “x tumblr users are weaponising a legitimate argument against fandom racism, to target an innocuous event undeserving of hate”. This is how, I think, SZS became the focus, rather than the points about fandom racism.
Further poisoning the well were racist anons who took issue with point (5), sending hate asks that included slurs to the tumblr users who made or supported the original argument against SZS. On the flip side, tumblr users who made posts countering the original argument against SZS also received hate asks and slurs in their inboxes. ***These two may actually be somewhat related events - the original users who took issue with SZS made these posts in the context of calling out fandom racism, and to then receive racist anon replies likely had the (unintended?) effect of framing the two sides of the debate as the “Put your shirt on Zuko” vs. “the racists”. This meant that the “Keep your shirt off Zuko” side, in being critical of the anti-SZS argument and siding against them, unfortunately may have been perceived as siding with the racists. This part is just my speculation as to how things escalated the way they did, please do not take this as fact.***
This is, to my best understanding, what went down the past few days (ish?). In summary, the “Put your shirt on Zuko” side made some good points about fetishization of East Asians and about not being racist. The “Keep your shirt off Zuko” side made some good points in urging people to consider carefully what criteria makes fetishization turn into race-based fetishization, and cautioned against indiscriminately condemning all fetishization of Asian-coded characters as intrinsically racist. There was a lot of vague-posting, which ended up resulting in users reiterating their own points rather than engaging meaningfully with the other side’s points, which I think made the divide worse than it needed to be? And then racist anons jumped in making everything worse.
If I’ve misrepresented anything, please comment/msg me and I’ll update this post.
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