Found out just now that a liminal space (liminal field?) that I had been dreaming about since I was a kid (which is also the big open field I think about when manifesting bambi) is an actual real place and not a dream

That hazy field has been my happy place for 20+ years and words can’t describe how happy I am to find out it actually exists. And like yeah yeah I know big fields aren’t exactly uncommon and that’s why I thought the trail and field I dreamed of was just the result of thousands of images I soaked up through like tumblr and Twitter and google and like vague statements like “open field with flowers everywhere” that could honestly just be ai generated…but yeah

The trail is only like a 30 minute drive from my house…but I’m afraid that if I go there again it’ll ruin the fantasy or nostalgia or whatever. Feels like everything has been ruined with time, tbh.

Anyway I don’t know why I decided to log onto tumblr just to post this for people that follow me bc of hornyposting but oh well 😌

No, you aren't "behind in life".

But, it's okay to grieve the time you spent surviving. The time spent trying to figure out what was wrong. The time spent healing to become a person again.

It wasn't your fault.

[I hope today is a better day.]

I was kinda having a great time in Subspace, listening to some really great files and all of a sudden I snapped out of it, like ig I got overstimmed or something and now I just feel shitty, and I figured I’d maybe talk a lil about aftercare or something. I’m putting this on the side blog pretty much only because I’d rather keep the main for Bambi and her pretty pictures.

Anyway if you’re ever in this situation like I literally was just now, it’s nobody’s fault. Your dom (if you have one or if they’re here with you) did great, and I’m sure you did too! This stuff happens. Nobody likes to blog about the scene fails because it ruins the fantasy but it happens a lot and always remember that. (More under the cut!) ✨

So I decided to go outside onto my patio with a water bottle, get some fresh air, rehydrate, sorta gather myself and calm down from all of the stimulation. I had Twitter (X?) opened before I started to listen, so I closed it because let’s be honest that site isn’t the place to be when the goal is to feel okay and grounded. If I wasn’t writing this post I’d have closed tumblr too. I took off Bambi’s “uniform” too (obviously but I wanted to mention it anyway bc some people really do raw dog BS and PLEASE don’t do that).

After I came back inside I turned on a vod one of my favorite “comfort” streamers, Vinesauce. He’s playing some really bad Mario fan games, or something, honestly I did it more for the voice and less the content, though what he’s playing looks funny. I need to start making dinner and so I’ll do that in a few minutes. I’m making a ramen kit I bought at Costco!

I also recently bought the game Spirittea so I’m really looking forward to playing more when I can focus better. Regardless of if you believe that brainwashing is real, there are definitely files which scramble my brain for what feels like ages! So many talented creators! It’s what makes listening fun! Right now we don’t want that though.

Speaking of Vinesauce I’ve recently gotten into his band Red Vox. Dad rock isn’t really my kind of music but it’s kinda comforting to listen to, it reminds me of when I was a kid in the back seat of my parents’ car at night half asleep while the local rock station plays Soundgarden and Nirvana. I have it playing on my phone while I’m chopping up veggies for dinner

Anyway I could go on all night and live-blog but I kinda just wanted to talk about what I did after things didn’t pan out. I’ll maybe try again tomorrow with an easier playlist or something. Keep an eye on the main just in case!

Goodnight!

ֹ ִ ☁️ ֹ 🌸 ֹ ☁️ ֹ ִ 🌸 ֹ ִ

Sunday Reset and Recharge — wash and clean your space · light candles · take an everything shower · buy fresh flowers · journal and write in your diary · set intentions for the week ahead · meditate · yoga/pilates · refill your pill case ·

Calm Your Mind 🪷 · Relax Your Body ✨🕯️

Sometimes I wish that I made this as a…not side blog. Or at least I wish that tumblr let us have multiple dashboards.

My mutuals post some GREAT stuff dgmw but on my lunch break it would be cool to be able to scroll without titty or those weird daddy doms popping up ruining Bambi’s girly cloudy dream vibe

Oh well 🤷‍♀️

Witch Rosalina! 💫

Kofi ♡ IG

♡ Sanbun ♡

Commission~

⋆ 　　𓏲 ﾟ   🫧     ⟡      🌸  ⠀⠀ ⠀ 　⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ everyday i am becoming a better version of myself. i show up for myself, i believe in myself and i won’t ever settle for less

ꕀ ⠀⠀ 🦋⠀ ⟡ 　☁️ 𑁯 ﾟ

cr

Atargatis 💙 for the Tato game

random stardew ~ 12/?

Everyday is Halloween

welcoke to the garden of ghouls and misfits