It's sad to say this but I'm thinking of quitting or going on a hiatus because I don't have the time or desire to actually search for anything meaningful nor do I think that anything big is out there to find, if there is I cannot find it plus I have already done basically everything I want to do with this blog. Nobody is interacting with me except for one massive exception to that being someone I got to know in real life but we very rarely talk about Audrey Hale anymore. If the manifesto is released soon I will return but I will probably forget about this account in 5 years time. I haven't moved on from Audrey in the normal sense but I have accepted the fact that I can't do anything substantial for her at this point and what little I can do I've done or isn't worth continuing. I have found a girlfriend who has a lot of the same appeal to me that Audrey does and the time I could spend on Audrey I spend on her because she is alive and therefore is more in need of help than Audrey for obvious reasons as well as deserving it more because she has never committed any murders. I'm not leaving just yet and when I do I will announce it and I will probably check my account regularly for DMs and interactions afterwords but outside of a few ideas I have for posting I have very little left to do. I will of course listen to any requests anyone has but like I keep saying I think this blog has run it's course and needs to come to an end. I will not be clearing it like AHM but rather leaving it up for anyone going through something similar to what I have been going through and even though I can't interact with them one on one I still hope my posts about my feelings and rough nights will make them feel less lonely and ashamed. I will also make final posts about the struggles for them to read.

Weird funfact time: Aiden drew furry/mlp porn once and had a fucking zebra fursona 💀

I'm pretty sceptical that furaffinty account was hers.

Do you understand that you are fetishizing a man who killed six people? And I must say, you managed to disrespect both those victims and the mass shooter, sexualizing him and denying his right to self-assertion and agency! You wrongly identify him as a woman, and because you consider him a female, you are posting assumptions on his sexual orientation and writing that he would have liked to be protected by “a black woman” or a “big man”? You are not protecting a girl, you are not saving a girl, you are posting misogynistic rambles, and in the meantime, you are invalidating another individual’s material and psychological reality: Aiden was a trans man, he was a trans man who killed six people.

If Audrey is a he then how is this misogynistic?

I still maintain that Audrey most likely had dissociative identity disorder. That could quite possibly be the outcome when all is said and done. More info is obviously needed. Any thoughts?

What makes you say that?

Bro saying aiden was 'bIsExUaL' just because he liked gay / mlm art dosent make him bi. With that same logic homosexual men liking lesbain / wlw art would make them 'straight' or 'bi'

Like let's be fr. The only reason you wished aiden was bi was because you are stuck in your little fantasy thinking that he would want you despite you being a poor, sad man with no life.

Also aiden Uses HE/HIM not SHE/HER

"With that same logic homosexual men liking lesbain / wlw art would make them 'straight' or 'bi'" Yes it does, plus she never liked any wlw art.

"Like let's be fr. The only reason you wished aiden was bi was because you are stuck in your little fantasy thinking that he would want you despite you being a poor, sad man with no life." She's dead so it wouldn't happen anyway.

"Also aiden Uses HE/HIM not SHE/HER"

You mean her schizophrenia and trauma make's her want to go by he/him.

I wish I had more pictures of her. Her cuteness is just amazing.

Everyday we get closer to the 16 I start to get more nervous that her writings will be suppressed forever.

You know it's getting bad when I'm considering posting our findings to r/masskillers to reignite interest in Audrey.

Even months later I still often seethe at how close I was to finding an audio clip of Audrey speaking. Also I'm upset that those watermarked images have not been found yet in full yet. It just really pisses me off that that people have them and are hording them for literally no reason. Especially AHM because of the fact they no long even have the blog up so what is the use in keeping them? It's so confusing because he found so much and did good but to 180 and do that is just baffling to me. I know for a fact that there is still more to find about her online, even if it's just a few images, but as my life goes on and on my time becomes more and more restricted and the time I spend searching becomes more and more stringent, not that I have been able to find much anyway. I just wish there where more eyes on Audrey, I actually thought that the anniversary would do just that but nope this Tumblr is really dead right now. Which I honestly think is for the best because I'm not focusing on it as much.

An entire year and 4 days later.... I'll never forget how sad and confused I was a year ago and the days after that. I've obsessed over her EVERY day since then and it hurts just the same. There are so many things I see now that I relate to her. I've been interested in mass attacks for a little over 10 years now, I've seen so many come and go during that time and 9 times out of 10 the perpetrators are never that surprising. But her? She made me feel so different. Truly shocked me and hurt me to my core. Female attackers in general are a rarity but her as a person even more so. Every time I think of her dorky little innocent face and timid demeanor I just shake my head in disbelief. I can't believe that little person who loved Disney movies and stuffed animals, who loved illustrating and even created a children's book, who seemingly liked children, ruined 6 lives and brought so much chaos and trauma to an entire city. If I could have one wish (besides mental illness in general ceasing to exist) it would just be for everyone to realize you are supposed to break the cycle of hatred and abuse, not repeat it.

On another note, I'm a little self conscious about my blog because I don't have much to offer besides my thoughts. I'm in a rut creatively (and have been for yeeeaaars) and in terms of rares and other findings, AHM covered most of it. I don't believe there's anything else out there that we haven't already seen. I pray every day for the release of those fucking journals. I constantly wonder how different it could've been if only she hadn't identified as "trans". Like why why why did it have to be her case that got so swept under the rug and surrounded in so much controversy?? If anything we need to study her more than the others and have full transparency around her motive. I just really wish I could see how all 7 families are healing these days. The world moved on so quickly and so long ago but I will always be here remembering and wondering.

Audrey Hale's parents had each other before she was born. They had each other while she was living. They have each other after she died. Who did Audrey ever have?

I don't think she ever had anyone romanticly.

Found on 4chan

First Anniversary...

.

Well it's been one year now, a few hours over in fact, and I have come a long way in my life but there is just one person who has been missing from every milestone that I have crossed. Almost everything in my life has become much better than the last 3/27 but EVERY day has a small bit of emptiness to it. I admit I don't feel as crazy about Audrey anymore but my love still burns on, my desire for her goes crazy every so often still and my desire to see the manifesto is still great but I just feel like I've got more important things to worry about now too. I heard a judge has said that her writings must be released and I hope they don't censor them too much. I also need to see that 10 minute video if it exists.

What did her voice sound like when she was still alive?