have you stopped updating ironbeak? or are you on a hiatus/burnout/just not focusing on it?

Anon, I’m so glad you asked! I was just thinking about Ironbeak this morning (as I often do) and about my plans for the story, and about how I’m not as artistically productive as I hoped I might be at this point in my life. My answer to this comes in two parts, but the short version is: I’m currently on hiatus. Here’s why:

1. I’m overwhelmed. In addition to working full time during a pandemic and having a second job, I volunteer with a handful of community organizations. It wasn’t until I started asking myself “why don’t I have the energy for art these days” that I made a list of my major projects and responsibilities and arranged them above my desk to help me prioritize. This is my list, with jobs in green, community orgs in pink, my Patreon in purple, and all the art projects I’m trying to work on in blue:

This is after I resigned from a board position with another community org and went on hiatus from a third parks job. It doesn’t factor in having five pets and occasionally wanting to spend time with the people I love (I use Habitica to keep track of that). So uh, there’s Ironbeak’s Journal down there on the right:

But, I hear you saying, the last update was over three years ago. Have I really been this busy the whole time? Well, mostly, yeah. There was like a five week span in which I was very unemployed during the pandemic. But MORE IMPORTANTLY, I’ve stepped back from my intended plans for it to revise them:

2. I’m thinking of ways to improve the story. When I started Ironbeak, I did so on a whim as an improvised field guide for Starbound’s procedurally generated critters, but then I Accidentally a plot. So a lot of what I had setup was spontaneous, unplanned, and just based around what I found fun to roleplay on Starbound servers.

As I love writing hapless, even clueless protagonists, and I love the Humans Through Alien Eyes trope, I originally wrote Ironbeak to be extraordinarily ignorant of not just galactic cultures, but also subcultures on his home planet. It was a fun way for me, a queer person, to normalize unexpected things and exoticize mundane things about humans (whether I was writing about that directly by writing about humans, or indirectly by writing about aliens). It gave our protagonist a lot of room to grow. It made him flawed in what I had hoped was a way readers could chuckle at.

Revisiting the story in 2020, though, Ironbeak’s cluelessness while coming from both a marginalized orientation and a marginalized allegorical racial/cultural group ... it hits differently. Some of it rings hollow and some of it is frustrating to read. This isn’t to say I want to rewrite him as a character (far from it), but the backstory I had planned for him had originally been one of self-discovery. I don’t really want readers (many of whom are queer) to have to hold his hand through all that because frankly, I think it’s kind of overdone, and not very exciting to read. And as a queer writer, I don’t find it very exciting to write. So his backstory is going to be a lot less about his inner thoughts and a lot more about the people he used to be close to.

The improvements to his backstory have, through my extreme slowness in hashing them out, also fallen into place more naturally in my head, and I think they lead well into a conclusion for his arc in the story. They also open up arcs for other characters.

It means a lot to me that people still think about Ironbeak’s Journal! I promise I still think about it, too, and that when I get my shit together more, I’ll start writing about it again.

Would you like to enjoy the ambiance of a state-of-the-art, bespoke Heavy Loading Vessel, complete with galley, Sand Room, dogs, and its own flourishing ecosystem?

“You waiting for someone, hon?”

“What? Oh. Unfortunately: no.”

“You want some more cocoa?”

“Thank you.”

(dosskey’s playlist)

Hmmm.

I love this art style! @2o8‘s character drawings have such great free flowing movement and life in them, they’re great.

nd the last fourrrrr..i think thats the last ill do for now

@onceler-birthing @floran-aika

@nyotasaimiri @draconym

!!!

@vierdz drew Ironbeak for Inktober and he looks great!

Drawings for inktober day 5! 

Zane_Arelyn on Fur Affinity @soak-in-sangria (Planets on FR) TheProtobabe on Twitter @draconym @thanatos-comic @kitswana  Jim

Tomorrow I’ll either go back to figure drawing, or do something like this of my own characters. 

So-o...hey. Hi. Can’t help but notice that Fetch here didn’t follow up. Jus’ got a couple of questions for you, in order of growing excitement:  - Eat how much of you? You talking, like, pieces, or whole kit and meat caboodle?  - Do you intend to survive this process?  - Do you intend the eater of you to survive this process?  - Do you secrete some kind of poison or venom that would make eating the part of you in question more challening?  - Are you planning to lather yourself in poison to the same end?  - Who’s your poison dealer?  - Do you need a poison dealer?  - Is payment only redeemable upon the eating of you without dying?  - Is this Jeff, pulling some kind of caper or jape? Jeff, you know how invested some people are in man-nabalism. Just, don’t.  - Just, don’t, OK?  - Is it possible you’ve already expired, or that this deal was a one-time sort of offering and has since expired (...heh)?  - What sort of catch is there that you’re willing to pay somebody to eat you?  - Is this like a, “first bite is free” situation?  - Or is it like a, “eat me once, pay’s on me - eat me twice, pay’s on you” dealio?  - In what hoped for order would this transaction take place?  - Do you want some sort of in-person review?  - Did you ask Fetcher because you assume he has what some would call a “more refined” palate, because he’s an “accomplished biologist,” and hasn’t been detained for an “indelicate method and concerning obsession” with “scalpels” and “cutting tools or instruments” that “require a certification” or a “widely-recognized license” that isn’t “clearly a forgery?”  - Do you have the license to distribute yourself to be eaten?  - Do you know if distributing yourself to be eaten isn’t punishable by law if you pay somebody to eat you?  - If it’s only a part of you that’s being eaten, would you rather it be while you’re alive?  - Alive or dead, do you want it to be cut off of you before the eating or should or could it still be attached?  - F’real, could it still be attached?  - Is it because he has a “respect for sanitary autopsy conditions,” and experience with “communicable blood or body fluid exposure management?”  - Do you have some sort of condition where you continually grow extra limbs, tails, or heads that have to be eaten so that you can maintan control?  - Are they vestigial, or something?  - Do you realize the potential for a business that could come out of having such a condition?  - If you have that condition, is it hereditary, or, could, like, other things be made to have it so that there’s a veritable buffet of different peoples or animals that could be monetized?  - Is it just for fun?  - Are you saying that people can just will limbs or heads or tails into existence for fun?  - If so, rad.  - Or like, are you growing continuously like a crocodilian and have to have pieces eaten off of you to maintain a consistent size, so that your bulk doesn’t kill you?  - Would this be, like, the first time somebody has eaten you?  - Am OK with sloppy seconds.  - OK with sloppy anythings, really.  - Is it his “glasses?” Maybe he’s stolen them.  - You don’t know.  - Do you want somebody to consume you like you are consumed with not knowing if he stole those glasses?  - Are you, too, made physically hungry by being consumed with not knowing something?  - OK, cool.  - Do you have the time?  - The time to put aside for any preparation of whichever part of you that you would prefer to have eaten?  - Are there any favorite seasonings you would have used in the preparation of your part(s) or set dressings you would have be present to make it a more palatable experience for you?  - “Palatable” was unintentional, but credit is being taken for it.  - Shoot, wait, what sort of payment is being offered?  - Is it the gratification of knowing what you taste like, or that you successfully invited a person or persons or pack of dogs to eat you?  - Do you have any pet dander allergies?  - ...Are you expecting to eat someone in return for being eaten?

Dear ironbeak, could you please eat me? I'm willing to pay you

Sup Author. Did you and other humans compose that arrangement of the Galaxy song for the entry around the campfire? Its my favorite cover of that song and i cant find it anywhere else, and its the reason ive gotten distracted and re-read the whole journal more times than i can remember. (worth it though)

This is like, an incredibly nice thing of you to say considering I just looked up a bunch of guitar tutorials on Youtube, printed out the tabs, and shoved some unwitting friends into my roommate’s bedroom with the lyrics and a portable TASCAM (because it was the only room in the house with enough carpeting and furniture for decent sound quality). It was the heat of summer but for the sake of audio clarity we turned off the fan, closed the windows, and built a pillow fort to block ambient noise (like the parrots that live in my house).

We could only do about three takes before everyone was begging to be freed from Tiny Recording Sauna Hell. I piped in some cricket sounds and campfire noises and dogs barking afterward to make it sound like were outside, but we were literally sitting crammed on the floor of a small room under a blanket with the lights off (because it was that hot). We felt really goofy while making it, especially me, since only half of the people in the room had even heard of Starbound so I had to explain that this was a recording for a gay space alien fanfiction on tumblr. But my friends are apparently game for anything, and when I told them to “ad lib some space marine dialogue” they delivered.

I also feel compelled to say that the guy adding the “echoes” at the end of each verse did that unprompted, and I would definitely cast him as the voice of Bambi the medic from the journal.

Dear author, may I ask if you are alright?

Yeah! I’m great! I’m!!

Keeping busy!!

That is to say, I’m actually a little stressed?

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that folks still check in with my blogs. To be honest with you, 2017 was a really difficult year for me. My life turned upside down in a lot of ways, and I’m still trying to figure out what to do about it.

I’ve been thinking about this story pretty much every day since I had to set it down, though--and the main reason I haven’t yet picked it back up is that I wanted to seriously evaluate the direction it was going. I had a lot of backstory written, and I want to improve it before I get it illustrated and posted. I still care about these characters a lot.

In short, yes--and thank you for sticking around.

Meatmaker, have you seen this place before? ( Photo: imgur|.|com|/|a|/|HS22JRs (remove the | to use the link) )

Meat castles, huh?Yeah, been there, literally, figuratively. Kind of impractical after the first story or so (prone to tilting). Better suited to single-floor endeavors, spread out that surface a-UNLESS...

Right, so, if you really want to try this out, diy-style, you’ll probably want to go one of two directions: - A series of large, kebob like spikes that you can superheat to cook the surrounding meat, making it less pliable - A gigantic rib cage with a comparably large screw that’ll anchor itself into the meat the further into the rib cage the screw getsJust spitballin’, here.

Hello, friends and enemies! I’ve gotten several asks this month and I just wanted to assure you that I do actually plan to answer them but I am sick in bed right now. Hopefully I will be feeling up to it tomorrow!

See you soon!

Dear ironbeak, could you please eat me? I'm willing to pay you

Hi? I follow the Nahuatl tag and your post appeared? Are you making something Nahuatl related?

Only marginally related, unfortunately, since my knowledge of Nahuatl is seriously limited.

I’m writing a story (which you can read here if you want) based in the universe of Starbound, a video game about space travel, which has some bird people whose dress and culture bear a superficial resemblance to the Aztec Empire. The game itself uses kind of a dog-Latin version of Nahuatl for a lot of its names (at least to my knowledge–I’m not sure how many of the words I see are actually words in Nahuatl, if any).

My recent post was an answer to why the naming conventions in my story are different from those in the game. Basically: I’m not a huge fan of using Nahuatl-ish non-words, but I don’t know enough Nahuatl to insert a lot of it into the story, nor do I think it would be terribly appropriate or necessary to do so when the entire thing is supposedly being translated into English from an alien birdpeople language anyway.

I’m trying to stay reasonably true to the lore of the game without straying into “other cultures but IN SPACE” tropes that often plague science fiction writing. Unfortunately it’s sometimes a difficult balancing act between referencing Mesoamerican culture/history carefully and pushing certain aspects of the story away from the history, because it’s actually about fictional people in space.

If anyone in the Nahuatl tag wants to share any thoughts on this I’d be interested to know, but I’m really just writing fanfiction for a video game and trying to maybe do better by Nahuatl than my source material did.

Since Avian naming convention changed a bit with the full release... what would be Ironbeak's name if it were to be based on Aztec culture, like other in-game Avians?

I have a bunch of other asks I’d like to answer BUT I have a lot of thoughts about this one, and they go into the lore that I’ve got in my head which these days has very little to do with the actual game lore, so, um buckle up:

I’ve got a good deal of Avos backstory written at the moment, and in it I use Nahuatl sparingly and purposefully. Obviously I’m writing the journal in English, but Ironbeak would “really” be writing it in an Avian language. English is a stand-in for Raptorine, the most commonly spoken language globally and in his region. I use Nahuatl as a stand-in for the Psittacine language, which was commonly spoken by Psittacine, Passerine, and Anatine people in the not-too-distant past.

So why doesn’t Ironbeak speak, write, or have a name in his own language, you ask?

The short answer is “colonialism,” and the slightly longer answer is: after the rise of Kluex, older religious texts that were written in Psittacine were deemed unsuitable for common folk to read (a la the Latin Vulgate bible at certain points in history). Sometime after the fall of Totomitlan, Psittacine became illegal to speak, write, or read in the region. Psittacine texts were mostly destroyed, with the exception of religious texts which were only accessible to Stargazers and some of the Clipped Council. Those that were considered suitable were truncated and translated into Raptorine, the new official language of Feathertop, AKA the city-state formerly known as Totomitlan.

That was long ago enough that the general population of Feathertop and the surrounding polities view Psittacine as a language spoken primarily by Stargazers, a little bit like how Latin is a language spoken primarily by scholars, or how the American government outlawed many Native languages and then a hundred years later decided to capitalize on them for use in cryptography because they had become so ‘obscure.’

In any case, there are still some laws on the books in Feathertop prohibiting Psittacine from being taught in public colleges, but a lot of wealthy Raptorine and Passerine folks are finding that Psittacine baby names are very trendy. Psittacine families, still facing no small amount of discrimination from the groups who expect assimilation from them, tend not to give their children traditional names.

In any case, I’m viewing both English and Nahuatl as translations of Avian languages, which probably sound like bird screeches and aren’t homologous to any human tongues. The game itself uses Nahuatl as a general stand-in for all Avian words, and I’m using it for a select few based on the politics I’ve written into the story.

In another translation of this story, Fletcher Ironbeak might have been Tentepoztic Tlaminani. But one of the main reasons I’m using Nahuatl sparingly is that I don’t speak it and I’d rather not botch it!

Hey tumblr, this is just to say I’m not trying to ignore your messages or asks, but I won’t be able to read or answer them for a few days or weeks. My wonderful dad just died unexpectedly and I’m in Panama without internet or phone, and even hot water and power are kind of inconsistent.

I’ll be okay, and I’ll be back in a little bit, but I may be a little slow to respond even after returning to the United States. My family and I appreciate your kind thoughts and words.

AWISE

Hey all!

After an EXTREMELY LONG HIATUS, I am back in the habit of writing an illustrating for Ironbeak’s Journal again. So where are the new entries? Well, this week, they are actually ... the old entries. I’ve been doing some editing of art and writing on the first 30 or so entries to bring them in line with the style of the more recent ones (the ones where I’ve actually planned out what I’m doing in advance and have a better handle on what Ironbeak looks and sounds like).

And I’ll be continuing to edit art and text through tomorrow.

Most of the text edits are minor, but I wanted to assure anyone who’s rereading and has a really good memory that they aren’t going crazy. The only major overhaul of an entry occurred with Log 20: The Reading Room, which is now quite a bit different to bring it in line with the lore I’ve decided on for the Glitch.

Here’s the old version for your enjoyment (or not--I always wanted to redo this one cause it bothered me, lol).

Log 20: The Reading Room

      "Mr. Vanderbuilt--" I said, rising from my seat, as he entered the Reading Room.     "Please, just Vander." He spoke in Glitch, but dropped the conversational expressives in favor of greater intonation, as I did. His voice was hoarse without the audio filters running. It sounded as though he was still smiling beneath what I now knew was a helmet.     "A pun," I said lamely.     "I took it as my pseudonym when I first arrived here. That was almost thirty  years ago." He removed his metal head and set it gently upon a desk, then turned to face me. This was my first look at an Apex in the flesh. Even in the dark, it was clear he cut his own hair.     The reading room was cozy and warm, with three couches encircling a low, round table, and several desks messily crammed with writing utensils. On the wall appeared to be the library's reserve collection of artwork. Mr. Vanderbuilt Vander lit an oil lamp on the desk beside his false head, and we both took a seat.

    "When word gets around that your beacon summoned the Penguins, there's going to be a lot of distrust coming your way," he said.     "You know?"     "Of course I know. Some of us even saw the ship as it descended. But none of the townsfolk has ever actually seen a Penguin ship. A few may have read about them, as I do have a book or two on the topic. But it won’t be until Dosskey spreads the word that most folks here will get the news. And that's when your status as the Friendly Foreigner may erode a bit.” He put his ironclad feet up on the table. "There are already a few who don't take kindly to your presence. Maybe you've noticed. They think you'll corrupt the youth, put harmful ideas about space travel in their head."     "I know nobody from this town has flown since ... well, since it was founded, that much was clear as soon as I started asking around for ship repairs. But--harmful ideas? Really?"     "This town was founded by Outcasts. As you well know, having borrowed Founding Forges last week. You did read it, didn't you?"     "Well ... yes, I did. But ... not in full. I admit, I found the book on sellomander biology to be a little more captivating."     "Having seen your illustrations, I figured you might. But I'll fill you in." Vander stood and began to pace the room, hands behind his back, like a professor giving a lecture.

    "Do you know what an Outcast is?"     "I didn’t know there would be a test," I said, and he responded with an appreciative laugh. "I know the Glitch on Avos were ejected from Glitch society for whatever reasons. But for a lot of them, it happened generations back. Space travel must have brought those to the Alpha Hamal system just as it brought those to Avos."     "Yes. There are quite a few independent colonies in the galaxy. But traditional Glitch society is a sort of feudal collectivism. In its truest form, every member of society is intimately connected via a massive neural network called a Hivemind. Serverside, thankfully, has no such thing. If it did, I would have no chance of passing as an ordinary citizen.     Serverside does, however, closely ahere to the same collectivist culture in which most Glitch are comfortable. Those that stray from traditionalist values of work ethic, family values, simple living ... let me put it this way: despite being a direct example of extremely advanced technology, the Glitch themselves are Luddites. It’s not in their nature to explore, but they will out of necessity. And more often than not, those who are cast out are most apt to survive elsewhere."     "So they excommunicate people for what, studying engineering?"     "Exactly that. Mechanical though they are, Glitch are not robots. But they didn't evolve like you or I. They were created, and they were programmed. Legend has it that they were created to enact some sort of grand social simulation. The truth is hard to uncover, because those of the original Glitch civilizations don't believe they are acting on programming at all." He sounded like he was rambling. Perhaps he’d been waiting to talk to someone about this for a long time.     "But ... they program their own children,” I said. “When they’re created, or what have you. Even if they believe the code to be as fundamental as DNA ... surely they must realize that there was a ... prime mover?"     "Ha, aptly said. But that's just it. The Kluex priesthood--would they have you believe that your existence is the result of evolutionary happenstance? That the whole Avian race is just a byproduct of its surroundings, and that a few mundane twists of environment or inheritance might have had a different race rise to sentience on Avos? Of course not. It is for the Glitch as it is for many of your people: their existence was divinely foretold. What many have tried to explain to them is hardwired by their creators, they believe to be divinely inspired."     Considering the fantastical mythology I’d grown up with, the difference between divine creators and mundane inventors seemed like semantics. Still, I asked, “And you think it's their programming that causes them to remain technologically primitive?"     "I do. But some Glitch break the mold. Like genetic mutants, they often benefit from their unique abilities. They are aware that their fellows appear to be stuck in the feudal era, and they seek to surpass it. Most Outcasts have an innate fascination with astronomy, space travel, and alien cultures. And they're almost always persecuted for it."     "Even in a town like this? So recently founded by space travelers? You don't really think Serverside would ostracize someone just for an interest in space travel, do you?"

    "I know they already have,” he answered. "Outcasts simply don't do well in traditional Glitch societies. Usually, sudden self-awareness is brought on by an injury. Occasionally, it is present from birth. Even more rarely is it inherited. The Founders of Serverside, I think, were hoping that if they brought together enough Outcasts, that they could hand it down from generation to generation.

    But many Glitch colonies suffer similar fates. Though the founders did their best to build and program their children, they could not fight nature.” As a biologist, I couldn’t help a derisive snort. Vander paused to shoot me a you know what I meant glare before continuing. “By bringing so many Glitch together in this community, the Founders have most likely doomed them to repeat history."     "Are you saying the Glitch can't ... evolve, socially?"     "I don't know. But when this town was founded just a few hundred years ago, it was by all accounts a peaceful anarchy. Not lawless, mind you ... but no formal judicial system existed for nearly a hundred years. Now Serverside is a democracy, and there have been talks for decades of holding a mayoral election. How long do you think it will be before they have a king?"     "I'm no political scientist, but it seems just as likely that this is a natural progression of government. Any sentient race could have walked down the path you're describing."     "Maybe so. But I have been living in this town and curating its history for quite some time now. To me, the pattern is clear: the townsfolk are growing more fond of a traditional lifestyle every day. Even Dosskey's interest in guns is seen as questionable."     "Can't they be ... deprogrammed, somehow?"     "Attempts have been made by the Glitch themselves to create a Better Glitch. The experimentors found that tampering with the software--even slightly--had dire consequences. I'm sure you read about that in 'Mistakes to Avoid,' eh?     "I did. It wasn't specific on the consequences, but it was fairly heavy-handed about following the instruction manual, yes. I assumed it was a matter of tradition."     "And so it is, my good fellow. But you may unravel that mystery soon enough."

Reread the journal today and felt like sketching my favorite Glitch! Dosskey for president.