I'm very glad there's a space for people that have broken away from the harmful rethorics of proshipping, because sadly many people get to it out of being desperate for a coping mechanism, ignorance mixed with morbid curiosity, social pressure, etc. I remember myself falling into that spiral years ago and being desperate for the attention and approval of people I thought were amazing and edgy, accepting more and more romanticized and fetishized versions of problematic topics despite a growing gut feeling that it wasn't okay. I want to vomit each time I remember the things I said and internalized to be liked by them and how they're probably still floating around in forgotten chats.

I cannot say how much I thank you for your blog existing and taking the time to listen to our experiences

i might cry after reading this. (/pos)

hearing you guys share your own experiences makes me so immensely happy. i hope my blog brings a sense of comfort to at least a few of you. last thing i want is for anyone to feel isolated like i have.

Dont let people be mean to you Angel. I dont know you but I resonate with your story and it made me feel seen. I was groomed by proshippers when I was sixteen and I regret what I have done too. You are a victim !!!! Don't say that you should have know better. You were in a vulnerable position and they took advantage of that. I am glad you are better and out of there :D

i'm sorry that has happened to you as well, anon. you're very brave and i hope you're safe, and out of that situation yourself. sending you lots of love from here.



I don't know if it was your intent when you invited people to vent their frustrations at you on that post, but I wanted to say that you don't deserve abuse from strangers for who you used to be. When we know better, we do better, and that's all we can ask of ourselves or each other.

I also want to say that getting out of a space like that takes a lot of strength - admitting that you hurt people, whether you meant to or not, can hurt so bad. I think that's why people end up so married to hateful ideologies and can't get out, because they can't handle the pain of admitting to the suffering they caused.

i must admit that yes, it was my intention. i just can't seem to forgive myself for what i have done, and i don't think i will ever go through enough pain to truly feel punished for the amount of people i hurt.

this is obviously not a good mentality to have, call it even delusional almost, but that's how i feel.

i know better now, and i am doing better, it's just really hard to live with myself still.

Hey I just read you’re recent post and it seriously touched me. I’m an ex-pro shipper myself and I feel the same amount of guilt. My therapist normalized these kinds of things and so for the longest time, I tried to push away the guilt thinking “I’m not actually hurting anyone”. I don’t hate all pro-shippers knowing some are just traumatized kids like we were, not understand the consequences of joining these kinds of groups.

I always wished I was molested or groomed ever since I was little because I never felt that my trauma was valid enough to warrant the pain I felt. I saw so many terrible things on TV that I tried to reenact before I even started puberty. I got told by pro-pedophilia maniacs that I was an insult to real victims even though they were the ones trying to make pedophiles out to be individual who could never hurt a fly. I’m glad I’m not alone here and I wish that you some day rid yourself of your guilt. It wasn’t your fault, you were manipulated to be part of something you could have never wanted to actually be a part of.

this brought tears to my eyes.

i know you have since deactivated your account. you most likely won't see this, but i am so sorry for everything you went through and i sincerely hope that you're doing better.

there's an antiship diacord now btw, two of them in fact!

If you want to join, ill send you the links another time

that's very sweet! i would love to.

idk if you're ok with proshippers interacting, but as someone who went through similar stuff in your apology, i hope you're doing alright. it's ok to feel guilty for things you've pushed onto others, hurt ppl hurt ppl. but if anything, what's most important is ppls boundaries, and i hope that's at least one thing we can both agree upon.

hello anon!!!

normally i'm not okay with proshippers, but if it has to do with that post, it's totally fine! i actually wanted everyone's opinion.

thank you so much for the kind words <3!! i agree when you say that boundaries are the most important, and as much as we clash, i really do hope you're doing okay as well! nobody deserves going through that, setting differences aside.

Out of touch, out of time

you're a clown fr if you buy a checkmark. it's not any less clownery if the site you buy it from admits how dumb it is.

i have just realized that you people know nothing about me. just spawned in this website with an apology with trauma included.

so here it is....

my official introduction !!

my real name will not be revealed, so please just call me angel. i’m nonbinary transmasc-leaning, aroace, and my pronouns are he/they/halo. i’m an adult. i’m autistic, have cptsd and suffer from psychosis (all diagnosed), i also have the suspicion i might have bpd. my psychosis is mostly hallucinations and delusions, i’m telling you this because, while i am medicated, i don’t know if i will ever have an outburst. if i do, i apologise in advance. please be patient with me.

this account is a personal one, where i talk about everything that crosses my mind, and reblog cool art i find on my dash. my main interest right now is chainsaw man, but i might dip my toes in other things. 

i’m a writer!! i have an ao3 account, but i don’t have anything posted on there, and i’m not sure if i will ever. i might just publish my writing here once i actually finish. (i might update this post or make a masterlist for my fics)

do not follow if you’re a proshipper, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, a map, zoo, kink blog, mspec lesbian, and if you support any of these, if you don’t support he/him lesbians and she/her gays, you can leave, too.

i would appreciate it if you told me if i do something wrong or problematic by accident. i try my very best to be careful with the things i say, but that would truly help!! please! educate me if i ever start spewing bullshit!

just found u thru scrollin on the antiship tag on here and ..... ong angel. ur too nice to proshits 💀💀💀💀 woulda def lost my mind if they told me i was brainwashed 🗿 props to you for reals

hearing that i was, supposedly, brainwashed hurt me. i can't deny that i wished i could yell at them through the screen, but there's really no point in doing that. proshippers already demonize us a lot, and i don't want to give them more ammo to attack us with.

and, to be fair, they're human too. as much as i dislike, or dare i say, hate them, i feel like they deserve at least a smidgen of respect. just as humans, you know?

Your post broke my heart, so much that I can't find all the words I want to say. I just hope that you are recovering well and that you can heal. Take care the best you can..

thank you so much for the kind words <3 :( yes, i'm in the process of healing. it's been really hard on me lately, but now with therapy, i'm sure things will only get better from here.

it's a sad day as a fanfic writer, because where do i publish my fanfics now? ao3 and wattpad are problematic, apparently, and i sure as hell am not touching the hellspawns that are ff.net and quotev.

hot take, or whatever, but i think we should let people change and grow. we, as humans, are constantly changing. who i was a year ago isn't who i am today (thank god), and i am sure that next year, i will be different.

when someone makes a mistake (and i say mistake, not crime), they should be given the opportunity to grow as a person, not be held at the stake, and pinned as the person that made That Mistake forever.

i feel like the internet doesn't let people do that. it's always "remember when x did this two years ago?", not thinking about how much this person could have changed, and whether they've apologized for that mistake or not.

tldr ; fuck cancel culture. put that energy into bringing down abusers with platforms and maybe get a hobby.

ik im mainly an ina11 account but let me have this

i might be the enemy, but nothing quite hits like you

can you come around tonight?

chainsaw man ! chainsaw man !

the gag in the chainsaw man op where there’s a very obvious fanservice shot of power that seems like it’s supposed to distract you to the fact that makima is walking denji like a goddamn dog off in the bg before zooming in SPECIFICALLY on that part of the shot is honestly peak fujimoto and an absurdly good example as to how his comedy works by making you do a double take and then shoving the thing you double-taked at in your face like a fucking jumpscare