anotherneurodivergentcreative
AnotherNeurodivergentCreative
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Your expectations will kill me
Your expectations will kill me,
The saddest thing is that, I would let them
Your expectations have twisted and warped me, a gift unknowingly given
Handed down from parent to child, with only the best intentions.
You speak through false lined smiles and jaded eyes,
We want you to succeed, do better than us
We expect this because we love you.
I didn’t realise that love came with conditions.
I will carry this but my shoulders are already so heavy,
The ever-growing mass of your expectations is suffocating.
It sucks the breath from my lungs, I can not breathe.
These expectations that you place, are cinder blocks tied to tired ankles
And I am sinking.
But you are so mature, we expect more from you
I am sick, but not showing symptoms
I’m a child who hides in plane sight, A child made of glass
Invisible, until expectations aren’t met
I am a child no more
I have grown, changed, transformed, built myself from tainted materials
I am cradling myself in all the things you never said
You are good,
You are worthy,
You are enough.
I covered myself in all the things you never gave me.
I created the person I am today, with no thanks to you
Tell me,
Why is it that I still hurt for you,
My ears still want to hear your praise,
My heart still wants your love.
Your expectations might get me yet.
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“No artist tolerates reality.”
-Nietzsche
“At the heart of all great art is an essential melancholy.”
-Federico García Lorca
“Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide”
-Donald Winnicott
“How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?
-Virginia Woolf, selected essays
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Lines from Poems I'll Never Actually Write,
And here I sit, Trying to heal as the pain pours out.
There are Moments when you are in so deep, that it seems easier to just swim down
I'm done apologizing for the things that You broke.
We Live We Die The Lifeless Stars ,Shining in the Dark
youtube
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“I still remember you, as a little girl
Who overwaters plants
Because she doesn’t know
When to stop giving”
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'If You’d Come’
‘If you’d come’
Come covered by nothing but the moonlight and the faint whispers of secret lovers. With the stars coating your lips and a lightness in your smile.
Come as yourself, for you are a landscape, and an endless forest all in one. You are a lake that I'll never reach the bottom of, so shrouded in mystery, that I can't help but to dive a little deeper. Until I’m unable to hold my breath, I gasp longing to know you.
Lie with me and we'll hide under the blanket of night, where our only light will be the stars that brought us together. And the moonlight that brought you back to me.
Let me become lost in your eyes, Two of the fairest stars are your eyes and they glow in their spheres waiting to return, I want to know your heart beat, listen to how it soars and hear when it falls. I want to know your soul's pulse, and dance with it like the bumblebees do. I want to find you, and pull you out of the mud that you've buried yourself deep within. Stay with me and we'll lie tangled, not knowing where we end or begin. The choppy waves of two lonely hearts will collide; the one who waited and the one who came home. Just maybe we'll beat as one. If you come back,
We don't have to be the silence of a hanging tree. I'll forgive you, if you forgive me and we'll make each other laugh and be happy. I shall only know warmth if our bodies should meet. We will be all of hell.
If you come,
I fear that if you come, you’ll realise, I am a lion that carries a galaxy in my jaws and destroys worlds upon my shoulders. You’ll realise that, You are a dear that carries the new dawn in your heart, and an untold history in your eyes. We are two different creatures, created on opposite sides of the universe, who should have never met.
But I will, Move the stars, Level the mountains, Paint the skies, Just for you. I will create a universe where we fit, Two creators who in a final lover’s embrace would fall into each other's arms, in the world they’ve created. Their love an unchallenged force of nature, If only you'd come…
I know you will not.
You’ve already created another home, on another world far removed from this place, because I am the dark that threatens you, you’re the light threatening me. In another time, or place I’d still love you and you’d love me back. But I am covered in a darkness that cannot be illuminated, Which is far too much of a burden to bear, for any lover.
And though I know that you'll not choose me,
I’ll still try,
To win your heart,
And tame mine.
If only you’d come.
@anotherneurodivergentcreative
(Tumblr messes up the formatting but it's still okay)
#poetry#origional work#original poem#origional content#poemsbyme#poetsandwriters#poets on tumblr#unrequited poem
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‘Unrequited’
I remember
Your warmth bleeding into my cold, burning the soles of my feet,
You brought the mountains to their knees, painted the most charming skies, Held my heart in your hand and squeezed, hateful.
You watched as the shards fell, carving my chest open,
Ribcages collapsing on hollow lungs,
Your warmth bleeds.
I wanted my first kiss to be innocent. It should have been
The finest poetry inscribed in lips of luscious red, printed on soft skin, Sensually embroidered rapture, at being entranced by you.
Skin branded by a resentful red with, lips of pain and spite,
You held my body in your arms and squeezed,
Words stitched into flesh, silent after the kill.
Bones exposed, you degraded my body, broke my mind,
Your fingers are needles ripping flesh down to bone, injecting ecstasy, Intoxicating highs and destructive withdrawal.
You brand melts my skin away,
Melting at the touch, awaiting another taste of you.
Eyes promise a love everlasting, your heart beats another song, Of lust and abandonment.
I still dream of the boy.
Molten eyes and smile made of war,
Soft skin underneath tender fingertips, heartbeats souring Lips of honey and eyes of gold, trapped in this dance You held my hand in yours and squeezed, patient
Until you weren’t.
I’m falling
Crashing through
Rooms of red.
Incapable of love
And now,
All that stands is a slab of rock, where my love once laid.
You buried me
@anotherneurodivergentcreative
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"I am allowed to be both a Masterpiece and a Work in Progress, Simultaneously"
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